Alan walked into Heathrow airport almost as confused as his beloved readers/reviewers. He spied a man with a fake moustache in the corner and instantly knew it was the man on the phone, as he was holding a sign saying-ALAN GRANT!
Alan grabbed Billy and went over to him.
I must tell you about Billy. In the years following Ellie's death and Alan's cowardly running away from the awkward situation, Alan had invested in a budgerigar. But no ordinary budgie! This was Billy, the all-talking, all-biting budgie. He was Alan's only friend and accomplice, and the only one bringing in any dough as Alan had found palaeontology to pay next to nothing after he developed a fear of dinosaurs.
"I still think this is a bad idea Alan. I'm going to be late for work at the pet shop." Billy wiped the dust off his wings and flew onto Mr. Blob head's blob head. Alan followed.
"Mr. Grant. You came. We must now catch a helicopter from Edinburgh."
"But, we're in an airport! IN London! How the hell are we going to get there?"
"Erm, we may have to pick up some people on the way." Although Mr. Blob head wore dark glasses, Alan could sense his shifty eyes.
"This is sounding strangely familiar. Like that film I was in with all the helicopters."
"NO! I mean, no. This is not a spoof of…that film…however much it seems like it."
"Alan you are not going anywhere." Said Billy, ever the voice of reason, although coming from a beak. "Youre scared of dinos remember?"
"WHAT? YOU? SCARED? OF? DINOSAURS?" Blobhead was fairly shocked.
"I had a, erm, bad experience with them."
"Hmmm, is that something to do with you waking up screaming Sporky?" billy mused.
"Sporky? Don't you mean Sparky?" said blobhead.
"How do you know?" said Alan, confused.
Blobhead looked shifier than ever. "I, erm, don't."
And off they went to Edinburgh.
Cor blimey guvnor, I couldn't not know what was gonna happen less. But I spose that's the beauty of my stories. Ha…
Just a note, billy the budgie is in tribute to my late budgie, billy. May he rest in peace at the ripe old age of 13. he was a trooper. And a little bugger. But he was MY little bugger…sniff