Sparky was lying on a velvet cushion, having a manicure done by Oojamafleb. Oojamafleb was an Icelandic donkey, renowned in Sparky's mind as being the best damn manicurist ever.
"Spar-KEY wants some more fajitas!"
And he sure as hell got those fajitas.
He was living in a bachelor pad in the science museum, and was plagued by fans every day. When he didn't like them, he made King Pam eat them, who was happy to, as her appetite had grown considerably since she married Spotty, and they had raw animal lovin' every half an hour.
Lady Pittlewit Kibblespit, his PA and close friend, walked in with an electronic organiser pad thing in her claws. She had given up therapy after having no clients but Pam, and when Pam had her sex change and became happy and a man, Lady Kibblespit was fresh out of business.
"Sparky, dear, I just had an email from my cousin, Sir Kibblespit, he says and 'Alan Grant' is back in the Museum."
Sparky sat up, knocking Oojamafleb far far away, back to Iceland.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-AAAAAAAWWWWWW…"
"Alan? Sparky's Alan?" tears fell down his sweet, scaly, reptilian cheeks, and he put on his snake-skin coat (it was his fourth cousin, twice removed).
"Where are you going?" Lady Kibblespit was shocked. Sparky NEVER missed a manicure.
"I MUST FIND ALAN!"
"Great, then I'll come with you. Let me just get my birth control pills."
A minute later, they were off.