TAU part 7:"Don't wanna know!"
Chris was washing the dishes and dreaming of Piper. Of course he was dreaming of her stretched out on the rack, getting taller! The baby cried and Piper left the kitchen and headed back upstairs. Chris quickly used his powers to finish up and
orbed back to the mausoleum. Summoning his associates Chris began to explain his idea. "I plan to place the witches in situations where they are facing painful death and are helpless to escape. Where they have time to see it coming and for
their fear and terror to grow. Then I heroically rescue them and win their trust and gratitude!"
"It has some possibilities," a man said and continued, "but who is going to the fall guy for you?"
"I'm still working on that," Chris said and continued, "after I get back I will get Phoebe drunk"
"Don't wanna know!"
"Too much information!" Two voices responded.
"At some time in the past," Ag explained, "she who is called the Unspeakable was exiled by her brother. Her exile was in a dimension in the direction from which you came. Apparently she discovered your elders and cast the curse upon them, I recognize her handiwork."
"But why would she do such a thing?" Leo asked.
"Maybe she was bored, I don't know." Ag responded and continued, "But enough about that. I have helped you out and done most of the talking. Now I want you to tell me more about your Earth, these Charmed Ones and all their adventures." With that he blew a soap bubble from his pipe and it grew until it was 10' in diameter. "The bubble will take images from your mind as you speak and show what you are telling me."
"But telling you everything could take days!" Leo objected.
"So, you have something better to do? Anyway the NBA finals don't start until next week." Ag responded.
"You watch TV?" Leo asked in surprise.
"Doesn't everybody? The last human I had visit did call me a media junky and couch potato." Ag responded and noticing Leo's dismay continued, "Look Leo, tell me what I want to know and I will see if I can find someway to get you back to your home dimension, wherever that is!"
Resigned Leo began to recount the Halliwell's adventures, "It all started when Phoebe returned from New York." As he spoke the scene played out in the soap bubble and Ag watched avidly!
Elsewhere in a darkly and shadowy room a large book opened and writing began to appear on it's pages.
Back in the mausoleum, Prue had finally gotten some relief when the batteries died on the cd player. 'I never want to hear Barney again! I know Chris is evil but that was over the line!' Then Prue heard the crypt open and a hated voice.
"No, no, no I am not going to sleep with Phoebe! I am just going to get her drunk and make her talk!" Chris said as he detached the cd player from the wall of the crypt.
Leaning over the side and pointing at Prue's tightly bound, gagged and blindfolded form, a man said, "From what I hear that is the only way to shut Phoebe up."
"Mmmph!" Prue agreed and nodded thinking, 'What's Chris up to now? I just hope he doesn't change those batteries!'
"When Phoebe is drunk, her defenses will be weakened. I can manipulate and get useful information from her. Pump her and find out about any old enemies that I can use for my plan!" Chris said as he taped the player back to the wall and turning to Prue said, "Enjoy the new batteries witch!"
As Barney's greatest hits started up again Prue screamed in despair! "MMMMMMPH!!!" But that was cut off as Chris shoved the lid back into place and then returned to the manor.
TAU part 8:'to be more like Paige.'
Returning to the manor Chris found a grouchy and suspicious Piper, an open minded Paige and a somewhat friendly Phoebe. 'If I can change Piper's attitude my plan will have a much better chance of success. Too much of a shift would be suspicious and probably not even possible. I'll just try and adjust her attitudes to be more like Paige.' And so whenever he saw Piper, which was often because she kept finding chores for him, Chris would plant a telepathic suggestion into Piper's mind saying, 'Be nicer to Chris like Paige!' Finally Piper and Paige went to bed and Chris made his move. Phoebe was on her last episode when Chris sat down handing her some wine said, "A token of my respect for one of the legendary Charmed Ones."
"I really shouldn't, I need to go to sleep." Phoebe said.
But pitifully Chris responded, "But Phoebe, I need your help. You are the only one who really is giving me a fair chance to prove myself. I need you to talk to me about your past battles so that I can prove myself to Piper and Paige, especially Piper! So why don't we just drink a few toasts to some special people and you and fill me in about the past." With that he poured each of them a full glass of wine and said, "To Prue!" Phoebe then had no choice but to join in the toast! Toasts to Leo, Andy, Darryl, and Paige followed. Soon Phoebe was chattering away, although she did stop and put in one of Prue's WW tapes at one point. Hours later Chris had all the information he wanted and Phoebe had passed out on the couch! Barely getting up himself, Chris orbed back to the mausoleum and collapsed into a drunken stupor.
The next morning her sisters found Phoebe passed out on the couch and apparently having troubled dreams. After Paige had gotten her sobered up and Piper had scolded her, Phoebe told them of her dreams. "They were awful! I think they were premonitions." Piper raised a skeptical eyebrow, she and Paige looked at each other and then nodded for Phoebe to continue. "I saw Chris and two men, one an older bearded white man and a younger black man with a shaved head in a mausoleum. I saw a tall dark stranger. I saw Leo sitting on a giant toadstool, talking to a caterpillar and watching us on a soap bubble..." Phoebe was suddenly interrupted by her sisters laughter!
"Phoebe, those aren't premonitions, just your hangover!" Piper said smiling and shaking her finger for emphasis!
Paige nodded and said, "I've been there, I'm here for you Phoebe. Just say no to the booze!"
Seeing the disbelief on her sisters faces Phoebe sulked off but not before saying, "You'll be sorry when Catwoman cuts me into a perfect pinafore!"
Paige looked quizzically at Piper who smiled and said, "For Phoebe booze and Batgirl just don't mix!"
Meanwhile Chris also regained had regained consciousness and summoned his associates to tell what he had learned. "Fortunato would have been perfect, too bad he's dead. The Baron would be good, if he wasn't an uncontrollable madman."
"So you failed?" One of the men grumbled.
Smirking Chris said, "Not at all, I found two powerless Halliwell enemies that still live. You can empower them and they will be beholden to us. They will be the perfect minons. They are in the Price Institute for the criminally insane, their names are..."
TAU part 9:Charmed Revenge Squad?!"
"Cassandra Clark and Dan Gordon!" Chris said and continued explaining, "Cassandra's powers were bound by the Halliwell's after her defeat and due to a truth spell she was committed to the asylum. She been in a padded cell ever since! And Piper's ex lover Dan Gordon joined the witch hunters and played Piper and the Pendulum at the museum of Classic Terror and Horror. He's also at the asylum receiving shock therapy from that old crackpot Dr Vincent ! They hate the Halliwells and would love a chance to make them suffer!"
"Very well, we will give it a try." A man said.
(As before in Cassandra and Chaos, Cassandra is played by guest villainess Yasmin Bleeth)
That night Chris and his associates visited the asylum. After casting spells of concealment and silence around themselves they entered. They got Dan and took him to Cassandra's cell. They found Cassandra wearing a straight jacket and released her. She immediately began pacing and ranting, "It's all Prue's fault, no Leo's, no Prue's! And damn Piper and Phoebe too! Leo stopped me from killing the witches and Prue kept taunting me with her astral projections. Between that and the truth spell, the staff all think I am a raving lunatic!" Turning to her visitors she pointed and said "That's why you're here isn't it? You hate the Halliwells too! You want me to join some sort of Charmed Revenge Squad?!"
"That's a pretty good guess, but not exactly right." The second man said, "We need to make Chris here look good and this is what we have in mind." He then explained the plan.
Cassandra looked at Chris and scowled, "That's going to be hard, but I can go along with it. Just let me kill that bitch Prue!"
"Sorry, she died 2 years ago." The first man said.
"AAAAAARGH!!! How dare she?!" Cassandra complained and then said, "I'll settle for disposing of that blasted Leo!"
Chris waved his hand and said, "Been there, done that, he's finished!"
Cassandra pouted, but with the alternative being her cell, she agreed to go along with the plan. Dan agreed with much less fanfare. They were then taken to a mansion, given their new powers and briefed with information Chris had gotten from the drunken Phoebe. Cassandra asked for a few days to practice their new powers and adjust to their freedom. However neither Chris nor his associates knew that Cassandra was thinking, 'I see where this is leading. Chris will be the big hero and Dan and I back in the asylum or dead. Unless of course something goes wrong with his big heroic rescue! Accidentally of course!'
The next day Piper and Paige were out shopping and Piper passed within 10' of Cassandra as she exited a costume shop. Unfortunately Piper didn't see her and Paige didn't know her. Cassandra saw the sisters though and thought, 'Soon, Piper soon!'
TAU part 10:"Covering our butts, Danno!"
While Cassandra and Dan were preparing and making plans, Chris was quite busy. He hung around the manor and P3 continuing his telepathic efforts to mold Piper's mind. Unfortunately this caused him some problems. "Diapers? Why would you switch to cloth diapers?" He asked adding, "Now you gotta wash the blasted things!"
Smiling innocently Piper responded, "Actually Chris, that's your new job!" Handing him a basket full of dirty diapers she patted him on the head and said, "Thanks for helping us save all that money on Pampers!" Then she walked away snickering! Steaming Chris thought, 'One of these days, Piper, one of these days!'
Meanwhile at a formerly deserted warehouse Cassandra who was wearing a Catwoman costume, explained her plan to both Chris's associates and to Dan. "Ok, we are going to try and make your boy look good for the witches. He will get them here and we will ambush them, put one of them into the Bat trap, and leave. However I don't think it's gonna work. There is a slight flaw in Chris's plan."
Chris's associates looked at each other and then at Cassandra and groaning asked, "What is it now?"
'Perfect!' Casssandra thought and replied, "It's too easy to do any good. I mean he's taking Alfred's place. How can you have any heroism without opposition and struggle? I know I'm just a stupid little witch but..."
"No, you're right, leave some men behind to guard the Halliwells. That should do the trick!' The first man said and then he and his partner left.
"What was that about?" Dan questioned.
Smiling evilly Cassandra say "Covering our butts, Danno! If Chris saves the witches now, we will have made him look better than in his stupid plan. On the other hand, if Chris bungles things and the witches die it is on his head!" Dan smiled at that and the two laughed manically!
Finishing his task Chris continued hammering at Piper's mind, 'Be nicer to Chris like Paige!' Piper felt dizzy and her head throbbed. However as luck would have it as he was about to break through her natural and magical resistance, Paige came in and said, "Like my new dress?" In her condition Piper heard a mixture of Chris's commands and Paige's question and suddenly realized, 'I should dress more like Paige!' To his chagrin Chris realized what had happened, 'Instead of making her like me more, I've caused her to join the Paige Matthews miniskirt mob!' Chris turned went into the kitchen and started beating his head against the wall in utter frustration!
"HEY!" Piper yelled "Stop that!" and as Chris turned thinking 'Maybe it worked afterall?' she continued, "I don't want you getting my walls dirty!" 'Or not!' Chris realized. "Do that in the basement and let us know if you need help!" With that Piper turned to go upstairs and change while Chris made strangling motions with his hands!
His murderous thoughts were interrupted by a call from Dan, who said, "We're ready, bring em on!"
'At last!' Chris thought 'Now to begin!' Just then Phoebe came in from work and Chris orbed out and back in again in front of her and said "Phoebe, I just got a a call from the Elders, the Charmed ones are needed! It's a matter of life and death!"
"Life and death? I'll get Piper and Paige!" Phoebe responded.
As she rushed upstairs Chris smiled and thought, 'Yes, life and death, yours!"