TAU part 11:"Get em boys!"

Phoebe rushed upstairs and found her sisters. Paige had just put on her new outfit consisting of a short sleeved navy blue mini dress and matching pumps with 3" heels. Piper had just donned one of her club outfits, her v necked sleeveless

white blouse, a green sparkly miniskirt that stopped 4" above her knees and matching green pumps with 5" stiletto heels. Piper was pleased with how she and Paige looked together and Paige happy with the unusual attention from her eldest

sister. Phoebe was a bit confused and asked "What are you doing Piper?"

"I've decided to start dressing more like Paige. She has good fashion sense!" Piper said and putting an arm around her sister, smiled brillantly.

Paige blushed and said, "Thanks, lady!"

Looking down at her tight top, fingerless gloves and very low riding pants Phoebe thought, 'Better not ask what they think of my fashion sense then!' And then she said, "Ok, but we have to go and handle some bad guys now. Don't you two want to change?"

"Why?" Piper and Paige responded in unison. With that Phoebe gave up and led the

way downstairs.

Back in that far dimension Leo had gotten halfway through recounting the Halliwells 3rd year and stopped for another meal. It was 'Toadstool soap again! I miss Piper more every day!' Leo thought and asked, "Ag, is there any hope of finding my home dimension?"

Alternately blowing smoke rings and soap bubbles Ag said, "Yes, I think I might be able to help you, but I need to gather all available information. Now eat up, like they say on tv, soup is good food!"

Leo grimaced at the joke but complied.

"So the Elders have reason to believe that there is a new evil power at this warehouse. They are most likely after you and the Elders thought you might want to strike first!" Chris concluded his faux briefing.

"It's better than having someone smash in the front door again." Piper agreed and so leaving the nanny to look after the baby, the sisters hopped into Piper's jeep and headed for the warehouse.

Arriving at the warehouse the Halliwells went to a side door and Phoebe went to pick the lock. She had no problems and the sisters went down a small hallway like space created by some crates. They walked between more crates before emerging into a large open area. Once there they saw a woman in a Catwoman costume sitting in a lawn chair, a table with some hankerchiefs and cosmetics nearby and a large fat cat seemingly asleep at her feet. Also there was a large table off to the side and a tv stand with a couple of tvs playing old Batman episodes. The tvs were both paused with Catwoman's thugs onscreen. Seeing them Cassandra said, "Piper, Phoebe and this must be Paige, so good of you to come!"

Recognizing their old tormentor, Piper said "Cassandra?"

"And Garfield too!" Phoebe added.

"So you two know Catwoman here?" Paige asked.

"Don't look in her eyes!" Piper instructed.

However Cassandra said, "Oh silly Piper, my old powers are still bound thanks to the original Charmed chicks!"

"That's Charmed Ones!" Piper and Phoebe angrily corrected in unison.

"Whatever!" Cassandra waved it off and continued "I have new powers now." And with that she gestured at the tv's and 6 of the so called catmen emerged!

"Nice power," Paige said and continued, "but don't you think it would have been smart to do that before we arrived? Six thugs just aren't enough. Now Piper is just going to blow up your tv's,"

BOOM, BOOM! Piper did so and thought, 'Too bad Cassandra is still human and blowing her up would be murder!'

"and you are screwed!" Paige concluded and added, "I would have summoned dozens of those guys long ago. That way if I had any Charming visitors I could snap my fingers, have them jump out from behind these crates and say get em boys! But I guess you haven't seen the Matrix Reloaded!"

With a knowing smile Cassandra replied, "Where you learn the value of more? Saw it 2 days ago." With that Cat-Cassandra snapped her fingers and dozens of cat thugs emerged from and behind the crates! As the sisters had an uh-oh moment,

the villianess said, "Get em boys!"

TAU part 12:crimes against fashion!

Piper gestured and about a dozen thugs began to move in slow motion! To her shock she realized, 'They aren't real so my power doesn't fully affect them! However that also means it won't be murder to blow them up!' And with that thought she began exploding catmen! BOOM! Phoebe levitated and began kicking and punching! WHAM, POW! Paige waited until a couple of thugs were about to tackle her and orbed away! CRASH!

As the battle raged Cassandra started up the Batman theme song and sound effects and started really acting the Catwoman part. This included hissing, claw motions and shoving battered catmen back into the battle.

Seeing the hordes of catmen and noticing that Phoebe was taking some hits, Paige got the idea that, 'It would be better to grab Catwoman and put an end to this that way!' So she orbed behind Cat-Cassandra and as the the cat rolled out of her way, got Cassandra in a double hammerlock!

"Now tell your boys to surrender unless you want a broken claw or two!" Paige's instructed the villianess, but she didn't notice the fat cat shimmer and change!

Unfortunately Piper did and she stopped staring in shock! It was unfortunate as seeing a cat change into Dan Gordon distracted her and she was grabbed from behind!

"PIPMMMMMPH!!!" Paige's worried cry for her sister was cut off by a drugged cloth clamped over her nose and mouth! The strange fumes caused Paige to become immediately disoriented and she felt herself becoming sleepy!

Dan grabbed one of her arms with his other hand and laughing in her ear said, "We figured you might try something smart, Paige! That's why I was in cat form and why we had the drugged hankies ready! The potion not only will put you to sleep but also makes you too disoriented to use your powers! But I guess you figured that out already!"

With Piper and Paige both helpless Phoebe was soon overwhelmed by weight of numbers. Pinned under a pile of 8 catmen she heard Cassandra say, "Dan, Bind Paige securely and I will do the same to Piper."

And Dan's reply, "Don't think the catmen can handle it?"

"Sure, they always did such a great job on the dynamic duo!" Cat-Cassandra sarcastically answered.

Meanwhile elsewhere in a shadowy room, a tall dark stranger examined one of the new entries that had written themselves in a weighty tome. Smiling he thought, 'Yes this can undo that witch's work. I just need to find the world of these Charmed Ones and she will live again!"

Eventually Phoebe was pulled out from under the pile, pulled to her knees, and held by 4 thugs. She saw Piper also on her knees and Paige passed out on the floor. Both of them now had their arms tied strictly back at the wrists and elbows with hemp ropes. More ropes secured their legs at the ankles and both above and below their knees. Still more ropes around their waists and above and below their breasts locked their arms to their bodies. A final rope connected their wrist and ankle bonds hogtying them. Both were also gagged, Piper with a knotted red bandanna and Paige with the drugged hanky that had been used to subdue her! 'This could be very bad!' Phoebe thought.

Then Cassandra said, "Phoebe, dear I have good news and I have bad news! The good news is that since Prue is already dead and I don't have anything against Paige, I have decided not to kill you all!"

"Mmmph?" Piper blurted out a puzzled sound from her gag and Cassandra turned to her and patting her shoulder said, 'I really love your outfit Piper and have decided that I shouldn't kill someone with such fashion sense. Provided of course that you tell me where you got the outfit!"

The gag was pulled from Piper's mouth and she thought, 'Cassandra must have gone crazy in the asylum, but you know what they say about gift horses!' and said, "I got it from Patterncutter's Parlor in Bodaga Bay."

Satisfied Cassandra regagged Piper and said, "Ok, you don't die today!"

Then Phoebe hesitantly asked, "Cass, err Catwoman, what was the bad news?"

Smiling evily and looking at Phoebe's tight top, low enough to show a normally hidden tatoo pants and fingerless gloves, the villianess said, "The bad news Phoebe is that I find you guilty of crimes against fashion!"

"What's the punishment for that?" Phoebe worriedly asked.

"Death of course!"

At this Phoebe struggled wildly but Cassandra added, "Prepare her for execution!" With that a drugged cloth was pressed over Phoebe's face and she quickly lost consciousness! She awoke to find...

TAU part 13: 'Ok, so maybe she isn't totally evil!'

...herself strapped to a table and with a change of clothes. She was now wearing a replica of Yvonne Craig's TV Batgirl costume. Phoebe's arms were strapped down by her sides at the wrists and above the elbows. Her legs were spread so that

her ankles were about 2' apart. Her legs were strapped down at the knees and ankles. A final strap across her stomach held her tightly to the table and prevented Phoebe from arching her back. As to why she would want to arch her back, that was due to the buzz saw! Seeing the saw at the end of the table and aimed at her crotch, Phoebe yelped, "Cassandra are you crazy? You evil psycho, let me go! And I mean noMMMMMPH!!!"

Phoebe's demands were cut off as Dan shoved a large sponge into her mouth and then tied a thin piece of black cloth to hold it in place. Then he stepped back and Cat-Cassandra approached and said, "Dear Phoebe, that kinda hurts! I mean I'm not totally evil."

Phoebe looked at her in puzzlement and Cassandra held up Phoebe's clothes and said, "I mean I hate you, but I wouldn't let even you get get caught dead in these clothes!"

Off to the side Piper and a now conscious Paige turned and looked at one another and both thought, 'Ok, so maybe she isn't totally evil!'

"Hey Catwoman?" A thug asked and when Cat-Cassandra turned towards him continued, "Me and the boys were wondering." He points to Phoebe, "We understand now about the red wig and her being Batgirl but who are those two?" He points to Piper and Paige.

Cassandra is taken for a loss but Dan answers, "They are the Girls from U.N.C.L.E.!"(United Nations Command for Law and Enforcement)

"Oh, cool!" The catmen respond.

"And no April Dancer isn't showing up!" Dan added.

As the thugs moaned their disappointment Piper glared at Dan and thought, 'I should have never told Dan I was a Stephanie Powers fan!'

Meanwhile the still disoriented Paige thought, 'Piper looks ticked, all 3 of her!'

'At least my premonition of being cut into a perfect pinafore was wrong. The saw is in the wrong place!' Phoebe tried to be optimistic.

"Now according to the script," Cassandra resumed, "I have Bat-Phoebe cut into a perfect pinafore." Noticing Phoebe looking at the saw at the foot of the table Cat-Cassandra smirked and said, "Oh, turn your head and look at the head of the table!"

Turning her head Phoebe saw a second saw there and thought, 'Uh oh! My premonition was right!'

"MMMMMPH!!!" Piper objected to Phoebe's imminent slicing and dicing and Cassandra turned and walked over to her.

"Oh Piper, you'll be better off without Phoebe!" Cassandra said and as Piper angrily glared at her continued, "This is why you have life insurance!"

Striding back over to Phoebe Cat-Cassandra explained, "I decided to add a second saw to spice things up a bit. Afterall who this side of Eartha Kit even knows what a pinafore is anyway? Much less a perfect one?" As her thugs and Dan nodded in agreement she continued, "So I had it set up so that 5 minutes after the switch is thrown both saws will reach you! The top saw will do the pinafore thing and the bottom will make you beside yourself!" With that there was much cackling from the assembled villains!

Then Cat-Cassandra selected 5 of her remaining thugs and said, "You boys stay here and ambush any would be rescuers." Then drawing them into a huddle she lowered her voice and said, "Robin came into town with Batgirl and should be here soon. However the airline lost his luggage and so he will be out of costume. Just look for a scrawny little punk to show and try to save Batgirl. Then dispose of him!"

Then instructing Dan to call Chris, Cat-Cassandra walked over to the wall, looked at Piper and Paige, and throwing the switch said, "Enjoy the power of four ladies!" And with that the saws started up!

And now a few words from our guest narrator:

"Holy deathtrap Charmed fans!"

"Will Chris's evil trickery succeed in duping the Halliwells?"

"Or will Cassandra's doublecross leave Phoebe beside herself??"

"And just how much life insurance do they have on her anyway?"

"For the answers tune in next time, same Charmed time, same Charmed channel!"