CHAPTER THREE

The bar was hot and noisy as Bobby guided Alex to its front door. Alex, flushed and wavering on her feet, clung to his arm. Bobby pushed the door open, and briefly reveled in the sharp, cold air. Alex staggered, and Bobby helped her up the stairs to street level.

"Hey," he said. "You need to button up your coat…" He reached for her coat.

"So…So do you," she replied, slurring the words slightly. She leaned forward to zip up his coat and stumbled into Bobby's arms. He was warm and strong and smelled of scotch and Bobby.

"You…You caught me," she mumbled into his coat. "Kevin never tried to catch me. None of the others ever tried to catch me. Even Joe didn't catch me sometimes."

Bobby held her closely. He wondered why she didn't say anything about his pounding heart that he knew she had to hear though his heavy coat.

"Hey," he said softly, letting his chin rest on top of her head. "This probably isn't the best place for us to be propping each other up."

Alex unsteadily regained her feet. "Uh…Yea…Yea…Bobby…Bobby…I…I want to go to your place."

Bobby looked down at her. "Are…Are you sure? I can ride with you to your house…"

Alex leaned forward again, and Bobby again caught her. "We probably couldn't find a cab that would go that far. And it would take you at least a couple of hours to get there and back. Most of all, I don't want to go there right now."

"I can understand that."

She moved beside him and put her arm through his. In spite of the cold and his heavy coat, Bobby felt her warmth spread through him. He looked down at her. Her cheeks were red with the cold and the rum, but her eyes were remarkably clear.

"She may be more sober than I am," Bobby thought.

"Maybe," Bobby said. "We should get some coffee. Walk a little to clear our heads…"

"Do you have coffee at your place?"

"Uh…Yea…"

"Are you keeping some horrible monster?"

"Uh…No…Not unless you count me…"

Alex smiled. "I don't…And I'm sure your place is clean."

They began walking towards Bobby's home. Their strides matched, and Alex's arm still wove through Bobby's.

"Eames…" Bobby said when they reached his door. "I…I don't know what's going on here…I…I don't know what you want…"

She placed her hands on his chest. "What do you want, Bobby?"

The question sent his head spinning. "This…This isn't right," he stammered. "I…I'm supposed to be taking care of you…Helping you…"

"You have…and are…helping me," Alex answered. She took a deep breath. "If I'd known you then…You would've helped me…You would've helped me if I would've talked to you about Joe…But after Kevin…and others…I was afraid to talk to you…"

Bobby turned away from her and fumbled for his key. "I…I don't know…When you needed me most…I wasn't there…"

Alex didn't know if she wanted to slug him or hug him. "Bobby…We've been over this…You gave me the tools to survive…To save myself…"

"She took you because of me…"

Alex seized the key from Bobby's hand, shoved it in the bolt, turned it, opened the door, and dropped the key back into his hand. She did this so quickly Bobby didn't have time to react. He stood just inside the door and stared at the key. Alex shed her coat and hung it on a peg just to the side of the door.

"Here," she said. "Give me your coat."

Bobby slipped out of his coat. In his confused state, it seemed simpler to do as she asked. He handed it to her and walked into the kitchen.

"Coffee," he thought. "Just fix the coffee…"

He opened the fridge, removed the coffee beans and sniffed the milk. He shut the door and started when Alex appeared behind it.

"Sorry," she said. "I always have to check my milk too…Unless Nate's been around. He drinks enough that I always have to get more and it's fresh."

Bobby held the coffee and milk in front of him like shields. He'd never been fond of his kitchen's layout, but at the moment he hated it for not providing him with an escape route.

"Can I help?" Alex asked.

"Uh…yea…You could get the pot ready while I grind it…"

They were busy with preparing the coffee for the next few minutes. The pot started to bubble just as Alex leaned against Bobby's back.

"I trust you," she whispered. "I know I can trust you…What happened in the past…It's past…All through this case…You believed me…You tried to protect me…"

Bobby's head resumed spinning. His heart pounded, and he breathed slowly and deeply, hoping that the rich smell of the coffee would clear his head. "Eames…"

Alex leaned her head against the middle of Bobby's back. "Bobby…This is one time when calling me Eames isn't going to cut it…"

"Oh…God…" Bobby muttered. "Alex…Alex…Don't…Don't do this…If you don't care about me…Don't…I can't…Please…I can't…"

"Of course I care for you," Alex murmured. "I love you."

Bobby spun to face her. He held her at arms' length. He searched her face for any sign that alcohol or grief fueled her words, but he saw only love and care, and it shook him to his soul.

"Oh, Alex." He pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her. "I…I love you too." It was all too much—to hear what he'd dreamed of hearing for so long, to say what he'd long to say to her for so long, to hold her again—it was all too much. He wavered on his feet.

Alex sensed he was about to collapse. "Here…You should sit down…"

She got him to a kitchen chair. "Bobby…Bobby…Breathe…Breathe…It's all right…Just breathe…"

He leaned forward and tried to do as she asked. His head slowly cleared as he held it in his hands. He realized Alex knelt in front of him and that she held his hands. He raised his head and managed to look in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said. "It…It was all too much…Just…Oh…Alex…" He wrapped his arms around her, and they held each other for several minutes.

"I think the coffee's ready," Alex said.

"Yea…And kneeling on that floor can't be too good for your knees…" He helped her stand.

"My aging knees," she said.

"I'd say anyone's knees at any age." Bobby wrapped his arms around her again.

"Are you ok?" she whispered.

"I…I don't know. I…I'm feeling so much…And some of it is fighting with the rest of it…"

She touched his cheek. "I know those feelings. C'mon…Maybe some coffee will help."

The pouring of the coffee, the addition of the milk and sugar, and their first few drinks gave them both time to regroup.

"Alex," Bobby finally said. "I…I don't want you to think…That this was some plan to get you here and…"

"If this was a plan," Alex smiled. "It has to be one of the most poorly constructed ones I've ever seen."

Bobby smiled. "Yea."

Alex stretched and reached for her cup. "I don't suppose it occurred to you that I might have had a plan…I have some very good memories of that night. Foggy, but good."

"That night…The memories…Got me through a lot," Bobby said.

"Me too." Alex wrapped her hands around Bobby's.

Bobby stared at their hands. "Alex…Alex…Are you sure about this? I…I know…What I want…But you…"

"Yea, I'm sure. And it isn't bourbon or rum or grief talking. This is me. I'm sure."

In the comfortable silence that followed, Bobby realized he now had something he'd wanted all his life. He loved someone who loved him.

"I'd given up," he thought out loud.

"Given up? But you've come back," Alex said.

"I…I'd given up ever finding anyone…or hoping…that I'd love someone who loved me. And now…I have that…I guess…I thought it'd be more dramatic…It's wonderful…But I don't know what I'm feeling…It…It's too deep for happiness…Joy, maybe…Whatever it is…I've never felt anything like it…And…And I'm scared…"

"Sounds like love to me," Alex said. "Bobby…You don't know what it means to me…That you trust me enough to talk to me like this…"

She stood and walked to him. She held him and pulled his head to her breasts.

"I don't know about tomorrow," Alex said huskily. "But right now…" She lifted Bobby's face and kissed him deeply; she pulled away reluctantly. "Wow," she said. "That was much better than the memory…And the memory was pretty good."

Bobby stared up at her. "Yea…That…That was much better than my memory too. Certainly less painful." He stood and hugged her.

It was Alex's turn to be overwhelmed. There was so much of Bobby. It wasn't just his considerable physical size, but his entire presence. When he leaned over to kiss her, Alex couldn't breathe. She couldn't think, and for several moments she was lost to everything but the sensations of Bobby's kiss. When he reluctantly pulled away from her and looked down at her, she swam in the warm depths of his eyes.

"Golly," she gasped.

Bobby blinked at her and laughed. "Golly?"

Alex joined in his laughter. "Well…It was honest. You're a great kisser."

"Thank you." He bowed.

"Maybe you could show me what else you're good at…"

Bobby hesitated. "Alex…You're sure…This is a tough time for you…"

"You…You don't want me…"

"Oh, yes…Yes!" he said quickly. "I want you very much…But this time…We're sober…More or less…This means a lot…A lot…I don't want to hurt you…"

Alex stood on her toes and kissed him on the cheek. "All the guys who've taken advantage of me…Who wanted to take advantage of me…And now…" She smiled. "I'm sure."

He took her hand and led her to his bedroom.

"Wow…"

Her soft cry penetrated the blissful fog around him. For a moment, he was afraid he'd hurt her until he recognized what she said. He realized his body was draped over her. "I'm crushing her," he thought, and tried to raise his body. His arms were weak and unsteady, and Alex held him tightly.

"It's all right," she murmured. "It…You…were…are wonderful, Bobby. So wonderful…I thought…The memory was great..But this…Wow…" Her fingers wove in and out of his hair as she spoke. No music had ever sounded as wonderful in his ears as her voice.

"This…It…My memories…Don't even compare…" Bobby's mouth created soft, warm ripples on Alex's skin. "I think…if it's ok with you…We should do it this way…Without the pain and drama…More often. Not wait so long to make more memories."

"Yea…" Alex said. "I like those ideas. Especially since I'm with a man I can trust."

END