Author's Notes: Happy Valentine's Day! Well, it seemed appropriate to celebrate the day with the long-awaited ninth tale in this series. Moreover, given that my inspiration hasn't been nearly as focused on this series lately, this seems like the right time to tell the last two story ideas I had on tap and mark it as "Complete". I'm not completely ruling out the possibility of more stories in this series beyond these two, but I definitely can't promise any more. On a final note, much like Tales Number Four and Five, these two tales (Nine and Ten) can be regarded as a two-parter of sorts. So enjoy this story, and stay tuned for the conclusion in one month (that's right, Pi Day!).

- Tale Number Nine: Parental Advice -

"Well, it was nice of you to take me along," Elizabeth said. "I don't get out about town much anymore."

"Yeah..." said Pad. "But the thing is, I..." Damn. Just say it. She's your mom, right? "...I wanted ta ask ya about something."

"Oh?" She looked very interested.

"It's..." He scratched the back of his head. "It's about this girl..."

She sighed. "Oh, my little boy is growing up..." Then she caught herself, putting a hand over her mouth. "I'm sorry. Go on."

He still hesitated, but only for a moment. "Well, it's just... I really like her. She's so sweet, and pretty, and selfless and gentle and... Aw, heck, what am I sayin'?!" He threw his hands up in the air. "She isn't any o' those things! It's just... She's not like any other girl I've met."

"That's nice."

Man, what a weak thing to say, Pad realized. Fiona isn't like any other girl I've met either! "What I mean is, she's got a big heart. She cares about people more than anyone, she gets angrier than anyone, and she hurts more than anyone, no matter how tough she tries ta act. Sometimes I just... I just wanna hold her an' tell her everything's all right."

"Pad..." His mother hesitated, then extended a trembling hand to his chin. "Those are perfectly good feelings to have about a girl. Why do you make it sound like there's a problem?"

He jerked his chin out of his mother's grasp and sighed. "'Cause there is."

"The problem is..." Melody waved her hands about a foot and a half to either side of her head in hopelessly vague gestures. "The problem is, everything about the two of us together is wrong, but I still want him! It's crazy!"

Melody paused.

"Wrong how?" she said. "Well, for starters, we argue all the time. We've hardly had any conversations that weren't arguing! And half the time - this is really messed up - half the time we end up making out afterwards." Pause. "No, I said making out, not making up. Yeah, I know -"

She froze for a moment.

Then she fell to her knees before her mother's grave. "Oh... mom. You're right," she sniffed, tears threatening to come down her cheeks. "It's very bad of me to act like that. And I haven't told you the worst part yet. One time, we... we took all our clothes off." She hid her face behind her arm and sniffled loudly. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to do it! Just the thought of how close I came to doing that before I got married makes me sick!"

Suddenly she looked up in anger. "No, mom! You can't blame Pad! He didn't touch me anywhere he shouldn't have, and he... he even promised me that he wouldn't ever do that to me because he has too much respect for me. He cares about my feelings, and he's always nice to me, and..." She sniffed and stared at the ground. "...and I'm always mean to him. I insult him, I slap him, and I take advantage of him, and I know I'm being horrible, but I just can't stop!"

"I mean, really, she just won't stop!" Pad exclaimed, shaking his head. "She's always either mad at me, or makin' fun o' me, or treatin' me like a doormat. I guess sometimes it's my own fault, but... I want her ta feel for me the same kind o' way I feel for her, and most of the time it doesn't seem like she does."

"Oh, Pad." His mother looked at him sadly. "You shouldn't pursue a girl who treats you like that."

"Huh? Oh, well, it's..." Pad fumbled. He didn't think it would be a good idea to tell his mom that sometimes he actually liked it when the girl he was interested in yelled at him. He liked knowing that Melody wouldn't lie just to make him feel better, and he liked that he didn't have to watch what he said around her, either. But no, telling his mother that having his face slapped and insults screamed in his face was his idea of a turn-on was not a good idea. "...it's my own fault a lot of the time, really. I lose my temper too easily, and I say things I don't mean. And it just ain't right. I want us ta be happy when we're together, but..." He held his hands far out to the sides. "...we're not."

"Well." She nodded. "A date is usually a good place to start."

"Yeah, you'd think," Pad sighed. "But she kept turnin' me down. I couldn't even call it a date or anythin' like that, because that would scare her off. I finally got her ta do somethin' with just the two of us, but... I dunno."

"You didn't have a good time?"

"No, it was great. But I think she's still scared. ...Well, I mean, Melody ain't scared of anything, but it's like... She's not sure wants ta be around me like that or not. And I'm not sure either! Sometimes I think that she must like me, or she wouldn't... but then, she gets all mad at me and I just don't..."

"Pad." She waited for him to look at her before going on. "Why don't you just tell her how you feel?"

"I'm not sure how he feels about me," Melody said, looking earthward and twisting her right index finger with her left hand. "But he treats me like a woman. No boy's done that before, ever. Even Eddie... he acts as if I were a guy in a dress. None of them think my feelings might get hurt, or that I might want a hand up when I fall down, or... or that I might be good for anything but fixing engines. Okay, so I love machines and working on them! Does that mean I can't be a girl too?!"

She shook her fists at the sky in momentary frustration at the male populace. Then, realizing that she'd wandered off the subject, she went limp again. "It's not as if Pad is a perfect gentleman - or even an imperfect gentleman. He's really rude a lot of the time. But he respects me, and he treats me nice. I think maybe he even likes me. But things are wrong between us, and I'm not good for him, anyway. It's like, I know we have to stop this, but... I don't know how."

Melody sighed. "Mom... what should I do?"

"You should tell her," Elizabeth said and, as Pad opened his mouth to voice an objection, added, "If you don't tell her, she'll never know. Your behavior can always have more than one interpretation, and if you don't say something, she'll always assume that you act that way for some other reason."

"But if I tell her, she might not believe me," Pad protested.

"She'll have to. You wouldn't tell her things like that if it weren't true. She'll believe you, especially if she has the same sorts of feelings for you."

"But I dunno for sure if she does!"

"Oh, Pad," she sighed, and clasped him in an embrace, against which Pad squirmed uncomfortably. Hugs weren't his thing, especially coming from a mother he was just getting to know. "Are you really so unsure of yourself as that? Besides, what's the worst she can do to you?"

Pad pulled away. "Hey... yeah. You're right." His face lit up and he pumped his fist, the words gushing free now, "I care about her, and if she doesn't feel for me, that's nothin' I can't handle! I want her ta know, and maybe it'll make things better between us. It's what I gotta do."

"So, you're going to tell her as soon as you get back?"

"Yeah." He turned and gave Elizabeth a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thanks for the advice, mum."

"Thanks, mom," Melody said, rubbing a tear out of her eye. "You're right. You're absolutely right. I'll go do it right now."

She turned and headed back to the Maverick. The others were all still out on their errands, or whatever. Good.

Melody went into Eddie's room, rooted through is desk for some paper, and sat down to write. She took only a moment of consideration, and then scribbled out a note in less than a minute. Best for it to be short and to the point.

That done, she went to the ship's storage space and began packing things into a large brown sack. First she laid in her two spare dresses, then a couple of potions she'd been preparing on top of that. Then on went her stockings, her underwear, a few specimen jars, a light shirt, the few tools she had which couldn't easily be replaced, and her best spellbooks. She took a bit of rope to knot the top closed.

With a grunt, she hefted the whole thing up on her shoulder and walked back upstairs. On the way she stopped by the party vault to take out her share of the money. Then she stomped back down the gangplank, off the ship. She paused a moment, looked around, and then settled on a direction.

This is the right thing to do... for everyone, Melody reflected. Eddie won't have to worry about me anymore, or get all flustered because he doesn't understand me. Fiona will be able to stand on her own now, without me being a crutch. Not to mention a bad influence. And Pad... She sighed for a moment, but not in regret - in fond remembrance. Then she smiled with pride. Pad won't have me to abuse him anymore. As for me, mom was right. I've been a bad girl, and I don't deserve to be with them. Plus, now Pad and I won't be stuck in this old messed-up relationship anymore. It's hard to say goodbye, but... It's the best solution.

She kept on walking. Soon, she wouldn't even remember why she had joined up with them all in the first place.