Hook + Kids
He's quiet as he sits next to her, fingers pulled tight around his mug. She follows his gaze to her parents - David curled protectively over Mary Margaret, hands resting with a gentle smile on her swollen belly.
Something deep in Emma's chest shifts as she regards them – so obviously happy and in love with her little sister – and she frowns down at the table. Heavily ringed fingers crawl over to hers and his grip is light as he brings her hand to his lips. He kisses her palm and his blue eyes are understanding as his mouth twitches up into a sad smile.
"You're beautiful." He whispers and she rolls her eyes, snatching her hand back. But she hums and lets her head rest on his shoulder, his arm tugging her in close.
-/-
She catches him staring again when they're at the small house Mary Margaret and David recent moved into – a cottage on the edge of town. He frowns as he watches Mary Margaret pull something from the fridge, hand absentmindedly resting on her stomach.
She tucks herself into his side, arms wrapping around his waist and he jumps, blinking rapidly down at her.
"Hey." She whispers and her fingers slide against his back, noting the tension in his muscles. "Where did you go?"
Pain briefly filters over his face but then he's smiling, letting his hand cup her cheek. She sighs into his mouth as he leans back into her, pressing his lips to hers.
"Nowhere, lass." His thumb slides under her eye, twists back into her hair. "I've been right here."
-/-
He tosses and turns in his sleep – sheets wrapping tight around his torso, fingers clenching in his hair. He trembles against her and when she wakes him with soothing words and gentle kisses, his eyes snap open with a heaving breath.
"You're okay." She whispers and his blue eyes are wide as he stares up at her, balanced over him. She thumbs at the corner of his lips. "You're alright."
His fingers are tight against her hip and he breathes out another stilted, harsh breath before turning them over, covering her body with his and fusing their mouths together. He's desperate and needy as he tugs at her clothes – rough sounds lodged in the back of his throat.
She lets him take her – hips sliding against hers, his eyes wild and bright in the dark room. She pants and arches beneath him and when they finish he collapses into her neck, fingers shaking as they twist through her hair.
She stares up at the ceiling and kisses his sweaty skin, fingertips pressing into his shoulders.
"You're okay."
-/-
Eva is a beautiful baby girl – a wisp of dark hair on her head, bright green eyes – gurgling happily as she stares up at Emma over her basinet. Emma smiles down at her – already head over heels in love – and David joins her, tugging a reluctant Killian behind him.
Emma meets his gaze, frowning slightly when she notices the tension there. David scoops Eva carefully into his arms and Killian's eyes drop, looking down at the baby girl in his arms. Pain flashes behind his eyes – sharp and real – and he locks it down, covering it with a quick smile.
"She's beautiful, mate." He claps David on the back. "Clearly got her looks from her mum."
David rolls his eyes, but it's half-hearted and Emma cants her head at Killian as David moves to the living room. He watches them go with a wistful look on his face and she slides her fingers through his.
"You okay?"
He nods and hums lightly under his breath, not quite meeting her gaze. Something tugs deep in her chest, but she ignores it, letting his easy smiles and gentle words chase away her anxiety.
-/-
"Killian, we need to go!"
She hops on one foot as she pulls on a shoe, tilting to the side slightly and reaching for her coat with the other hand. Killian comes shuffling out of the bedroom and she stares at him blankly.
"Why aren't you dressed?"
He scratches at the back of his head and shuffles in the frame of the door, folding his arms over his chest and looking down at his feet. "I'm feeling a bit under the weather, lass." He shrugs. "Shouldn't be around the wee one."
She pushes her arms through her jacket and makes to move closer to him, but he holds up his hand. She pauses.
"Don't want you to catch anything."
She nods, the strange feeling tightening and expanding in her chest. Henry comes barreling down the stairs and tugs at the sleeve of her coat.
"Come on, Mom! We're late!"
-/-
The loft is dark when she returns home, having dropped Henry off with Regina and Robin before swinging by the drug store and picking up some Nyquil for the sick pirate. She toes off her shoes in the entry way, hand searching blindly for the switch on the wall.
She freezes when the warm glow of the lamp illuminates the living room and the pirate slumped over on the couch. He peers up at her with bleary eyes and she notes the almost completely empty bottle of rum on the table.
Anger rises hot and fast inside of her and she drops her bag. "Sick, huh?"
He ignores her and instead pours himself another glass, downing it quickly with a strong swallow. She snatches the bottle from the table before he can reach for it again and he huffs out a frustrated sound, looking up at her with expectant eyes.
"Give it back."
Her mouth practically drops open in shock as he stares up at her with thinly veiled annoyance. "Are you joking? Killian, you lied to me. You lied to me so you could stay home and get drunk."
He fingers his empty glass, shoulders tensing and she sighs. "What is going on with you? You've been weird for months now. Is it me? Did I –" She swallows and pushes down the feelings of inadequacy that tug at her. He is different. They are different. "Did I do something?"
His eyes snap up to hers, wide and blue and he shakes his head. "Emma, no. No –"
"Well then, what is it?" She resists the urge to stomp her foot like a petulant teenager. "You've been acting strange ever since David and Mary Margaret had the baby."
He freezes, entire body going rigid, and she watches as his eyes harden. His gaze drop back down to the bottle and he leans forward suddenly, snatching it out of her hand and bringing it to his lips. He gulps greedily, throwing his head back until the bottle is empty. He puts it back on the table and leans back on the couch, smirking up at her.
His eyes are cold and dark and entirely Hook and she shudders at the way her openly peruses her. He tilts his head as he fingers the hem of her coat. "Perhaps we should table this conversation and I can show you how else I'm feeling, darling."
She pulls back out of his grip and he laughs, ignoring the way she breaks at the callous sound. "Perhaps not then." He falls back into the cushions of the couch. "Well do make yourself useful, love. Fetch another bottle from the kitchen."
She bristles at the command. "Get out."
He blinks up at her and she fists her hand in the soft cotton of his shirt, hauling him up and off the couch. "You are not welcome in this house if you are going to lie to me. Get out."
She pushes him towards the door and he doesn't even fight it, just grabs his coat on the way out. He doesn't bother looking back, the door slamming shut behind him.
-/-
The Rabbit Hole is empty as she sips at her Jack quietly in the corner, fingers twisting with the pendant around her neck. Sadness and anger twist unhappily in her gut and she stares hard at the worn wood of the table.
He had lied to her – spoken to her like she was nothing.
She jumps when a body slides across the table from her, the bright red cap of her sudden guest making her smile despite herself.
"Hello, Smee." She mutters and the portly man grins, looking at the bar around them.
"Sherriff." He nods. "Where is our dear Captain?"
Emma's face drops and she looks down at her drink, swirling it and watching as the amber liquid sloshes at the sides of the tumbler. "Good question." She grumbles to herself, but Smee takes no notice. His eyes dart back over to hers and he gives her a small, secret smile.
"Listen, there has been something I've wanted to say to you."
She straightens slightly and meets the man's gaze. He cheeks flush hot and he looks down at his own beer before peering back up at her quickly.
"I wanted to thank you, um, for bringing him back." Emma arches a brow and Smee blushes deeper. "The Captain."
Emma sips carefully at her drink. "What do you mean?"
"He was my friend before he was Hook." Smee says quietly and understanding washes over Emma in a wave. "Ever since he's found you he's been more like he was before."
Emma blinks at him and she must still look confused because Smee continues, chuckling ruefully down at his mug. "We all lost a lot when he lost his hand. So thank you, for giving that back to me. I'm much indebted."
Her cheeks flush hot at the compliment and she sighs. "I'm not so sure I'm entirely to thank there." She thinks of his hard eyes and sharp words.
Smee shakes his head. "No, no – it's all you. None of us thought he would recover after losing Milah and the child. He was – "
She cuts him off abruptly, cold dread settling in the pit of her stomach and spreading outwards through her limbs. "What did you just say?"
Smee looks at her in concern. "After he lost Milah?"
Emma nods, shaking hands cupping her drink. "She was – " She swallows hard. "She was pregnant?"
Smee nods slowly, eyebrows furrowing on his forehead. Suddenly his eyes widen and he practically drops his mug to the floor. "Oh bloody hell, oh shit. He didn't tell you?"
But she ignores him, already striding towards the door, pulling her coat on haphazardly.
-/-
Her heart beats madly as she drops unceremoniously down into the captain's quarters, her eyes struggling to adjust to the darkness of the cabin. She finally finds him slouched over his desk, fingers curled around the neck of a bottle, his breathing even and ragged with troubled sleep.
She lets her gaze drift over the rest of the cabin and her eyes burn as she takes in the disarray – the books thrown across the room, the shattered glass and upturned furniture that visually demonstrates his anger. Her hand covers her mouth as she thinks of his pain and it hurts because she knows what it's like to lose a child, but she had hers back.
He lost everything.
She slowly works her way over to his still form, reaching out carefully and pushing her fingers through his hair. He sighs and pushes into her grip, shifting slightly over the desk.
"Emma." He mutters and she breaks further. Blue eyes open and blink up at her and he starts when he sees her tears.
"Emma?" He pushes up from the desk slowly, alcohol making him sluggish. His hand cups her cheek as his thumb catches her tears. "Emma, love, I'm so sorry. I didn't – "
She shakes her head hard, sob lodged in the back of her throat as her hand comes up to grip hers against her cheek. "No." She whispers. "I'm so sorry."
He looks at her in confusion and she hiccups another sob, fingers tangling with his. He stares at her steadily and then sudden realization comes crashing down behind his blue eyes. He hardens in front of her and attempts to pull his hand out of her grip. She holds him tight and he breathes in a sharp breath.
"Who told you?" He asks quietly and she just cries in response. She aches to reach out and pull him to her, the broken man behind the pirate.
He wrenches himself away and begins to tear through cabinets, throwing things to the ground in haste as he looks for another bottle of rum.
"Killian – "
He ignores her. "Bloody Smee. Tell me, love. Did you seek him out for information on me? On why I'm so bloody damaged and broken?"
He focuses his intense gaze on her as he finally finds a new bottle, stalking over to her and pushing her hard against the wall. "Did you want to know my demons? On how I got the woman I loved killed?" His voice breaks and she breaks with him, shattering to a million pieces at the pain radiating from him in waves. "On how I killed our – "
A whimper whispers unbidden through his lips and he shakes against her. He bites his lip and clenches his eyes shut and she raises shaking hands to cup his cheeks. "It wasn't your fault."
His forehead falls against her collarbone and his trembling increases, bottle slipping through his fingers and falling to the ground.
"I put her in harm's way." He says brokenly. "I stood there helpless as she had her heart ripped out. I promised –" He heaves a deep, shuddering breath against her skin. "I promised I'd protect them both."
"It wasn't your fault." She says again and her heart constricts as she feels moisture against her chest. His arms circle around her and tighten painfully, but she just pulls him closer.
"It wasn't your fault." Her voice breaks as he does – collapsing to his knees in front of her.
-/-
They lay in his small bed, her fingers combing carefully through his hair. She can feel him thinking and feeling, his fingers running gently back and forth over her collarbone.
"She was barely three months." He whispers and her hand stills for a moment before continuing its circuit. "Hardly showing, really. Just a firmness in her stomach."
He sighs and pushes his face further into her. "We were returning to the town from whence she came, where Baelfire was. She wanted to bring him with us, start a new life. I was going to give up piracy, hand the Jolly off to a member of the crew." He snorts. "Smee was bloody pleased as a peacock, he was. We were going to start over."
His voice is wistful and she scratches her nails lightly against his scalp. She can guess the rest of the story, she's heard it pieced together - how Rumplestiltskin found them, took his hand and his love and filled Killian with murderous rage.
"Why didn't you tell me?" She whispers and he tilts his head up to look at her, resting his chin on her chest.
"I didn't know how." He says simply. She swipes at the hollow of his eye and tilts her head to regard him.
"You're a good man." She says and she can see he still doesn't believe her, knows he carries the weight of lives lost heavy on his shoulders. She lets him read the truth in her eyes as she stares down at him. "I love you."
He presses a kiss to her palm, her wrist, the inside of her elbow. He sighs and places his head back against her, breathes out.
"I love you, too."
-/-
His body trembles as he stands over the basinet, Eva squirming happily on the small bed of blankets. Emma slides her fingers over his back in reassurance and he glances over at her, blue eyes blown open wide in apprehension.
"Go on." She whispers.
His hand reaches out to lightly touch against a small, curled fist – Eva's fingers wrapping tight around one of his. He smiles slightly and Emma grins.
"Hello, little princess." He is gentle as he scoops her carefully into his arms, tucking her against him and humming lightly under his breath. Emma blinks back the tears at the look of awe on his face and steps back, giving him a moment alone.