-Disclaimer: Harry Potter is the property of JK Rowling
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-A/N As usual, major shouts to my Beta Crimsonangel23, I couldn't do it without ya m'dear! BTW, is this fall off of reviews because it is summer or the weekend? Lets pick it up guys ok? Otherwise I'll cry!
BTW, this is kinda a long one...I thought about splitting it up but my beta says it flows better as it is. LOL
Incidently, I just gotta say... OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ONE MORE MONTH UNTIL HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE COMES OUT IN THEATERS!!! YAY!!! WHOOO HOOOO! YEEEE HAAAAA! OMG! OMG! OMG! I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, I'm just a little excited about it, though the cynic in me is waiting for Warner Bros. to decide that November would have been better after all and knock to back another four months.
If they do...I'm hunting them down.
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Prologue
George felt like he was drowning, slowly moving deeper and deeper downwards into a sea of emotion. But it was an extremely pleasant feeling. George was doing the very thing that he had forbidden himself to dream of, to think of, much less actually do.
He was kissing Luna Lovegood.
Everything about it felt so right, like he was in the place that he had been born to belong. Everything was wonderful, and perfect, and he wished it could go on forever.
Until the picture of his brothers face, dead and lifeless as he lay in his coffin, flashed through his mind and his mind screamed.
He forced himself to pull away from her.
"Luna..." he whispered, his breath hard in his chest. "I'm sorry...I can't do this."
It had taken all of his strength to stand, put her back in her wheelchair and move to the front flap of the tent. He looked backwards. "I'm sorry..."
Then he was free, the fresh air on the approaching evening greeted him, clearing his mind from the last of the haze that kissing her had brought. Still, he had to get out of there, he had to get away from her before he turned, and went back inside and begged her to take him back. If he did that, he would truly be lost forever.
He pulled his wand from his pocket and quickly apparated away, back to the shop in Diagon Alley.
"George!" Ginny looked up in surprise from the box of quills she was sorting. "What are you doing...?"
"I need you to go..." He said, a dagger plunging deeply into his heart as he realized that he had just left Luna all alone. Knowing her, she was likely to hurt herself again. "...to go to Luna's."
"George?" Harry said as he stepped out the back room. "What's wrong? Is Luna okay?"
"I'll take over here, will you just go please? She's there alone and..."
Ginny's eyes narrowed angrily, that was never a good sign. "You left her alone?! After what happened..."
"WILL YOU JUST GO?!" George exploded.
"What's going on George?" Harry asked as George passed him to go into the small office in back.
"Nothings wrong." He lied and shook his head as he slid weakly into a chair behind the desk. "We just...need some time apart."
Ginny crossed her arms angrily "Just how much time do you need?"
"I don't know," he sighed, thinking longingly of the bottle of firewhiskey in his room upstairs. "A few days..."
"And you won't tell us what happened?" Ginny's glare slipped away as she realized how upset her brother was. George shook his head.
"Just go, and take good care of her, please?" He looked like he was near tears, and Ginny didn't have the heart to argue with him anymore.
As Ginny reached to pick her wand up from the desk, he reached out for her hand. "Keep her safe for me, okay?" He whispered, his voice full of so much pain that Ginny wondered if he might choke on it.
"We will," she said softly, and pulled her hand from his. Then she and Harry stepped out of the shop, and apparated into the dusk.
When he was sure they were gone he flicked his wand, changing the open sign to closed, and then he gave it another flick, locking the doors. He stood from his chair and gave his wand a final flick, extinguishing all the lamps.
He went upstairs to the little flat that he had barely seen these past few weeks. Without bothering with the lights he went into his room, straight to the closet where he pulled a half-full bottle of firewhiskey from the shelf. He had never really a acquired a taste for the stuff, but they kept it on hand because sometimes members of the Order would show up, shaken from horrible news or needing a safe place to lay low.
But if ever there had been an occasion for him to get stinking drunk...this was definitely it.
He sat on his bed and looked out into the ever darkening night. With a deep sigh he twisted the cap from the bottle and brought it to his lips.
Even the harsh flavor of the firewhiskey wasn't enough to erase the taste of her from his lips.
-
Loony for Luna: Forever from the Ashes
Chapter Twelve
Yesterday
Part II
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George rolled over and stretched, a slight shudder ran through him as the empty firewhiskey bottle fell off the bed and shattered on the floor, the sound making his head throb in agony. He reached up and pulled the shade down, cutting off the sunlight that made his eyes want to explode. He graoned and reached blindly for his wand, then pointed it at the floor.
"Reparo." The bottle fixed itself and George picked it up, tossing it into the trash.
He had definitely achieved his goal of getting well and truly pissed, and now he was going to pay for it, and he was going to pay dearly. The worst part was that he had found no relief in drunkenness. If anything, it had made things worse. Drunk, he wasn't able to make his mind obey his demands to not think about her. Memories had assaulted him from every direction, and during the few moments he was able to stop them, the worry took over. She had been there alone for nearly five minutes...more than enough time for her to have seriously hurt herself again.
To make things worse, she had proven that she could get herself out of the wheelchair. She had even taken three steps on her own...well, mostly on her own. That would have made her cocky, made her think she could do it all on her own without any help from him or anyone else.
George felt the fear rise up in him again, but it was quickly squelched. If Luna had hurt herself again, he would have already known. By now Ginny or Harry would have been here to kick his arse for leaving her alone. If not Ginny or Harry, then surely Ron and Hermione...or even worse, his mum.
He pulled himself from the bed and dragged himself out of his room. He hesitated in the hallway, staring at the door to Fred's room. Fred had been fonder of firewhiskey than George was, and he had kept a bottle of Mrs. Drandy's Dandelion and Faerie Berry Dew Hangover Potion in his top drawer.
Still, George hesitated, his hand on the knob. He had only been in Fred's room once since he died - when he had come to collect Fred's one and only suit for him to be buried in. He was less than thrilled now with the idea of going in.
"This is ridiculous." He said to himself. "I can't avoid it forever can I?"
He turned the knob, gave the door a gentle push, and it swung open easily. The room was musty, having been - for the most part - closed off for nearly a year. They had only returned there a few times after moving back to the Borrow, and George had hidden out there while he nursed his wounded head, and pride, after losing his ear.
George shook himself with disgust. That was the last thing he needed to be thinking about right then. If he allowed himself to remember all that had happened during that time, he would be lost for good.
Instead he stepped into the room and looked around. A pair of dirty rolled up socks still lay in the corner where Fred had thrown them, a pair of dirty jeans and t-shirt lay not far from them. His dragon skin jacket, the ones they had bought just after opening the shop, still hung from its hook. He grinned, thinking about how uncomfortably hot they had turned out to be, and so, they had rarely ever worn them.
Fred's bed still lay mussed, as if he had just left it to begin his day. It was George who had always made his own bed, George who did the cleaning and the shopping. Fred had always been fond of calling him the 'little woman' because of his neatness.
Fred had been the slob, throwing his clothes wherever they landed, and leaving them to lay there until either he, Luna, or Angelina, had gotten on his case about stinking the place up. Fred had called it his own special brand of air freshener.
Luna and Angelina had called it 'Au Du Stinky Fred'.
George smiled a little as he crossed the room. It was nice, he realized, being able to think of his brother for once with a smile, instead of the horrible pain that had come with his memories. It had been a couple months now since Fred's death, maybe he was starting to heal after all.
He stopped in front of Fred's desk, as usual it was covered with plans for items for the shop. Fred loved inventing new spells, spells to bewitch common objects into something funny and spectacular. Sometimes they worked, sometimes they didn't, sometimes they even managed to do some major damage to each other...but George couldn't remember a single day they had lived together in their little flat that had been boring or mundane.
He smiled again as he pulled open the side drawer where he knew Fred had kept the Mrs. Drandy's. Sure enough, the little yellow bottle stood in a corner of the drawer. George reached down and picked it up. Underneath was a thick scroll tied with a yellow ribbon, and Fred's name was scrawled across the front in what was unmistakably Luna's handwriting.
When George picked up the scroll and looked at it closer, he saw that there were five pieces of parchment. He considered putting them back, surely it wasn't right for him to invade Fred's privacy like this, even if he was dead. But Luna had been his girlfriend. If Luna was writing to Fred, it was likely she had been writing because of him.
But then, Luna and Fred had been close too. It was very likely that the letters had nothing to do with him. He decided that it wouldn't be right for him to read the letters, and so he opened the drawer to return them to their rightful place. It was then that he saw another scroll, tightly sealed, its ink badly smeared. It appeared to have been sent by someone who was crying. He picked it up, and sure enough, the handwriting was Luna's.
He took the scrolls into his own room and sat down on his bed. He unscrewed the cap of Mrs. Drandy's and swallowed a huge mouthful. Then he replaced the cap, and set it on his bedside table. Picking up the thicker of the two scrolls, he untied it, and pulled it open.
- - -
September 4th
Dear Fred,
Thanks for your letter! I was so happily surprised, and you said you wouldn't write!
I know it must be hard for you, with Angelina so far away now. Trust me when I say that I completely understand. It's only been three days now and already I feel like I could cry myself to sleep every night because of how much I miss your brother. Even after all these months it seems so surreal to me. How is it that George Weasley was the one sending me those beautiful poems all last year? How is it that someone as amazing as him could be in love with someone like me? The girl most commonly known as Loony Lovegood.
Well, I'd better go. Already I have so much homework! You guys weren't kidding about how tough O.W.L year would be! I expect I'll be sending away for some fainting fancies before much longer! Take care of your brother for me okay? Be careful with those experiments, and remember what Angelina had said would happen if she heard that the U-No-Poo sign was back in the window!
Love,
Luna
- - -
November 21st
Dear Fred,
Well, it certainly took you long enough to write back! Ha ha! Seriously though, it's okay...I know you're a lousy letter writer. George says that I shouldn't feel bad, because he has to yell at you to write to Angelina all the time.
Really Fred, shame on you!
It's been a hellish week for me here. It's bad enough that I have to miss your brother so much, but on top of it, there are still some girls, catty girls like Cho Chang and her sneak friend who say that I am making it up, that I am lying about George and I being together. They say mean things about how I am sending the owls to myself when he sends me things, and so many letters that I've barely finished reading one before another arrives.
It makes me really sad to know that there are such mean people in the world, but it also makes me feel really blessed that I have such wonderful friends. Friends like you, Lee, and Angelina. And of course, even here I have Harry, Ginny, and Hermione. Even Ron seems to be being nicer to me this year. Yesterday, Ginny told Marietta off for calling me Loony. It was very sweet of her, don't you think?
Well I'd better go, I have piles of homework and I still haven't answered George's last letter.
Lots and lots of Love,
Luna
- - -
January 14th
Dear Fred,
Thanks for that somewhat...strange letter. I can just picture George with a full head of steam, stomping into your room and demanding you write to me. I know I should be slightly miffed with him for it, but I can't help but laugh at the image that comes to mind. He must have looked quite mental. And they call me Loony! *grin*
Love to you,
Luna
P.S. I know you said it would never happen, but would you tell Lee it wouldn't kill him to answer a letter now and then? Of course, I'm one to talk! I still have two letters from Angelina to answer!
- - -
February 4th
Dear Fred,
I hope you won't mind my asking you instead of George, but… is everything okay back there? I just got a letter from George and he sounds afraid of something, like he knows something bad is about it happen. I hope you don't think I am trying to drag you in between George and I, it's just that he is always so worried about me that he doesn't stop to think about himself. I worry that he isn't taking care of himself, and watching his back as he should be. These are such dangerous times, with you-know-who out in the open now, unafraid to work his evil deeds. Everyone here at school is half afraid he is going to show up here to attack Professor Dumbledore. There are rumors flying about that it was him that caused Professor Dumbledore's injury, and that that is the reason why he refuses to tell anyone what happened.
George tells me that there have been more disappearances of shop owners in Diagon Alley too. I try not to, but I can't help but be afraid that you and George will be next. Please don't tell him I said that though.
Love,
Luna
- - -
February 9th
Dear Fred,
HELP! I've no idea what to get George for Valentine's Day, and Ginny and Ron are being no help at all. Can you believe Ginny suggested sterilization?
Please, you have to help me!
Love,
Luna
- - -
George grinned...Sterilization...leave it to Ginny. Fred must have laughed himself into a nosebleed reading that.
He'd never been one for Valentine's day, not until Luna anyway, and truth be told, he still felt like regurgitating every time he remembered what he and Angelina had come across on Valentine's day the February before he and Luna had gotten together. Even though he knew now it was just a friendly hug, one friend commiserating with another, he still longed to punch Harry Potter in the face whenever he thought about his arms being around Luna.
It was that memory more than anything that had spurred him on to make his grand Valentine's Day appearance in the Great Hall.
-Flashback-
George grinned madly as he thought of Luna, still snoozing, safely tucked away in her bed as he zoomed over the still sleeping countryside. As he flew overhead, more and more homes were slowly coming to life. A light clicked on here and there, farmers below stepped out into the February chill to mind their animals and then, as he reached the outskirts of Hogsmeade, he saw children beginning their walk to school through the thigh high snow drifts left in the wake of the most recent snow storm.
As he touched down outside of Honeydukes, he knew that Luna would be up now. He could picture her, sitting on the edge of her bed and rubbing the sleep from her beautiful silvery blue eyes. She would reach into her drawer for her brush, pulling the hair ties off the end of the braids she always slept in to keep her hair from being a tangled mess. She'd once told him it took her nearly an hour to comb through her hair after she showered. She often said that she longed to cut it short, but knew she never could. Her hair was just like her mothers had been, and it was like a connection to her...the mother who Luna had lost when she was so young.
George grinned as he walked out of Honeydukes, a huge cardboard heart filled with Luna's favorite chocolate under one arm and an enormous pink teddy bear under the other. The teddy bear held a red heart in its paws bearing the words "I love you beary much."
George laughed as he walked down the main street toward the flower shop. If Fred and Lee could see him now, he would never hear the end of it. Of course, word would get back to them… Ron and Ginny were sure to be in the great hall, and even if George could manage to scare them into silence, he had nothing to hold over the heads of Harry Potter or Hermione Granger.
He knew for a fact that Hermione was going to be positively revolting over the whole thing, but he was a man on a mission. A man madly in love, and nothing, not even Hermione's big, sarcastic mouth was going to stop him.
He stopped in the flower shop and came out a moment later, two dozen red roses clutched in his now very full arms. Fred had told him that certain girls were accusing Luna of lying about them being together. Part of his mission today was to shut them up forever.
Still, he couldn't help the jolt of nervousness that swept over him as he stared down the heavy steel doors at the entrance to the school. Luna would very definitely been in the great hall eating breakfast now...along with most of the school. Even though it was a Sunday, most everyone had begun the rush to find every extra moment to study. Between their usual extremely high amount of homework, and the extra study pressure brought on by the coming O.W.L.S and N.E.W.T.S, they were using every spare moment to their advantage.
He knew that Luna, being a Ravenclaw, was taking them extra seriously.
George took a deep breath and pushed the door open. The entrance was packed with people coming down the grand stairway. Many he recognized as being from his own former house, Gryffindor. Among them, perched in prime observation, were his brother and sister, followed shortly after by Harry and Hermione. He blushed slightly as all four of them broke into huge grins, and pushed their way through the people in front of them so they wouldn't miss a bit of the spectacle to come.
Still, he had forced his feet to move forward, gaining entrance to the great hall. His eyes scanned the tables for the one draped in Blue and Silver. Finding it immediately, he looked for the head of plentiful moonlit blonde hair.
His eyes fell across her and his breath caught in his throat. She was incredibly beautiful, her hair pulled back with the silver combs he had given her into a messy bun that left long tendrils to fall down her back and face. She was bent over a book while she carefully spooned porridge from the bowl at her elbow. Even better, Cho Chang sat just three seats down from her, her sneak friend at her side.
George took a deep, nervous breath as he stepped fully into the great hall. Considering his heavy load, it didn't take long before all eyes were on him, and whispered conversations began behind bowed heads and hands. Luna, however, remained blissfully unaware.
When at last he stood right behind her, he knelt down, slid the chocolate heart onto the table beside her, and dropped the teddy bear onto the bench next to her. Then he took her by the shoulder, turned her around so she was facing him, and before she could say a single word, he kissed her.
It felt like hours, or maybe years, later that he felt a tap on his shoulder. He pulled away reluctantly to face Professor Flitwick.
"Mr. Weasley, I am sure you are well aware of the rules regarding unauthorized visitors."
"Yes sir."
Luna, deep in shock, stared at the roses in her arms, unable to say a single word.
"I have a note from her father, giving me permission to visit." He dug into his pocket and pulled out a piece of parchment, then handed it to the professor, who read it and then stuffed it into his robe pocket.
"This should have been sent a week ago, so permission could have been granted by Miss Lovegood's head of house."
"Yes sir." George smiled. "But that would have ruined the surprise."
"I suppose that's true." Flitwick grinned. "I'll allow it this time. I imagine we owe you one after your services to the school last year, but don't think you will get away with it so easily next time. Rules exist for the safety of our students, you understand?"
"Yes sir."
Professor Flitwick turned away and began heading back up to the staff table, but then he paused and turned back.
"Oh and Weasley, try to keep the snogging to a minimum, people are trying to eat after all."
George grinned widely "Yes sir."
Luna had snapped out of her shock and she quickly stood. She shoved the teddy bear at George for him to carry, and then grabbed George's wrist in one hand and the rest of her bounty in the other.
As she pulled him out he looked again at Cho Chang and Marietta Edgecombe. Both had looks on their faces that reminded him of people sucking on lemons. Luna didn't stop, or release him, until they were outside and standing within the stone circle.
"George..." She smiled up at him. "What are you doing here?"
"You don't want me here?" He said teasingly. "I can go." He turned towards the path to Hogsmeade, but Luna reached out and grabbed his hand.
"Don't even think about it, Weasley." She dropped the flowers and chocolate onto the top of a huge boulder and wrapped her arms tightly around him, burying her nose in his chest. "Seriously though...what are you doing here?"
George dropped the teddy bear onto the snow next to the boulder, then shrugged and put his arms around her, pulling her closer. "I thought you might like to spend Valentine's Day together," he bent low and kissed her, pulling the combs from her hair so it fell down her back and buried his hands in the sweet, lilac scented length.
"Oh George..." She whispered against his chest after the kiss broke. "This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you."
He smiled and pulled the sides of her hair up, sliding the combs in but leaving the majority to fall down her back.
"Thank you too...for the poem." He smiled
"You liked it, really? I couldn't think of what else to get you," she smiled. "After all the poems you sent me last year...somehow it just seemed right."
"It's perfect." He smiled, pulling her close again and kissing her.
-End flashback-
George couldn't resist the smile that lingered on his face at the memory. So many of the moments he had shared with Luna had been perfect...but few had been as perfect as that one. To this day he could still recite her poem by heart.
---
If a million miles separated us,
I would walk all the way;
As long as I knew I would find you,
at the end of that long day.
I want to spend each day with you,
until with time we do grow old;
And when I take my final breath,
it's your hand I wish to hold.
I want to collect memories with you,
to cherish in my heart;
They'll keep me in sweet company,
when to death we must one day part.
Until that day comes,
let me hold you in my arms;
I'll shelter you and protect you,
and keep you from all harm.
Dear precious beloved one,
my angel from above;
It's with you and no one else,
I want to share my love.
---
George sighed as he let the scrolls roll shut again, and tied them closed. He contemplated the one he hadn't read yet, the one with the tear stained ink. A horrible pain grew in his chest, he was almost positive he knew what had happened just before she sent it.
There was no way he could read that scroll. He knew without a doubt, it was just an invitation to more pain. He slid off the bed and went back into Fred's room, and pulling open the desk drawer, tossed the scrolls back in. He turned from the desk and left the room, slamming the door behind him.
He felt terrible. Reading the scrolls, and remembering their past had only made him feel worse. He closed his eyes and sagged against the wall, finally allowing himself to remember their kiss from the day before.
It had been everything he remembered about kissing her. Beautiful, amazing...perfect. But more than anything else...it had been a mistake. One he would have given anything in the world to be able to go back and correct. He was still in love with her, kissing her had wiped away the last of his strength to deny that fact. But that didn't mean he had to act on those feelings. That was too risky, too scary.
He also knew that he could never return to her. He would have to make arrangements with Ginny to stay with her. He should have done that in the first place.
"George?!" Ginny's voice called from downstairs. "Are you here?"
Perfect! He could ask her now and be done with it. He could get Harry to bring his trunk and then...then he would be free. Free of his wanting and needing, free of the hell he had cast himself into when he had agreed to take care of her.
He would be free of Luna Lovegood once and for all.
"I'm here Ginny." He called as he moved to the stairs and took them two at a time. His feet had barely hit the bottom of the staircase before Ginny was tugging on his arm.
"You have to come...now."
"Ginny." He pulled his arm free from her. "I can't. I've decided not to go back. You'll have to stay in my place...or Hermione. Maybe the two of you can take turns or something. But..."
"George! You're not listening." Ginny crossed her arms and yelled at him as he headed for the stairs again. "You have to come now...or I'll...I'll bat bogey you until you agree to come."
George whirled around, angry now.
"No Ginny! I'm done! I'm never seeing her again. That's that!" He turned around and headed back to the stairs.
"Well!" Ginny said angrily. "Then I guess I won't look for you at her funeral."
"What?" George stopped and slowly turned. "What are you talking about?"
"There's something wrong with her. Harry just took her to the hospital..." Ginny's anger softened when she saw the scared look on her brother's face.
"What..." His voice broke. "What do you mean somethings wrong with her?"
"I don't know...Her temperature keeps going up. Mum sent me to bring you." Ginny pulled out her wand and prepared to apparate. "I don't know why though...you obviously don't give a damn about her."
"That's not true." he whispered.
"Then prove it." Her voice spit venom more poisonous than the most dangerous viper. "Get your arse to St. Mungo's."
With a loud crack Ginny was gone. George found himself just as he had wanted to be for the past few months...since the moment Fred had died...totally alone.
He realized with a jolt that it wasn't where he wanted to be after all...not anymore.
-
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Chapter 13 Preview
George rushes to the hospital
to be by Luna's side...
but what he finds there is far
from comforting.
Facing down Dolores Umbridge
and Voldemorts Death Eaters was a tea party
compared to facing down his own Mother
and she forces George to
look deeply within
himself to find the truth.
But what will
the truth mean for
him and Luna?
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