-Disclaimer: Harry Potter is the property of JK Rowling

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Loony for Luna: Forever from the Ashes

Chapter Nineteen

Casualties of War

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George stared up the aisle at the casket that sat near the altar of the cathedral, his feet reluctant to move, his heart unwilling to say his final goodbyes.

He moved forward slowly, the soles of his shoes squeaking on the highly polished stone floor as his heart felt like it was about to explode from his chest. He didn't want to do this...he wasn't ready to say goodbye. He was angry about the life cut so horribly short, about the loss of the things that they would never do together again.

Mostly, he was angry about the loss of the person he loved most in all the world.

George stopped before the gleaming white casket, his hand brushed over it gently, lovingly, his heart feeling like it had been pulverized until it was fine, bloody, powder.

He took a deep breath and lifted the top half of the casket. Inside, Luna lay looking like an angel. Her beautiful moonlight hair spread around her head, looking for all the world like she was asleep, but he knew better.

Luna would never be waking again. ..she was dead.

George forced his eyes open, the nightmare causing his heart to pound so hard that he could barely breath. Luna lay next to him, her face peaceful in sleep. So peaceful in fact, that she closely resembled the face he had seen in his nightmare. Carefully, he put his fingers to her throat, checking for a pulse.

She was alive. Thank God.

Careful not to wake her, George slid out of her arms. He rose from the bed and picked his boxers and shirt out of the small pile next to the bed and put them back on. He sat down on the side of the bed, his eyes fixed on Luna's face.

Memories of making love to her filled his mind, only to be quickly replaced by the memory of the sight of her in his nightmare...Luna...dead.

Gone from him forever.

Fear rose up inside him, cutting off his air and choking him. What the hell had be been thinking? He couldn't do this, he couldn't be this close to her.

It was impossible.

- - -

Luna felt insistent sunlight poking at her eyes, forcing her into a world of wakefulness. With it came the memory of what had occurred the night before. Her eyes flew open as she grasped at the sheet that covered her naked body. She hadn't been dreaming then...George really had spent the night with her...he had made love to her.

She realized then that she was in the bed alone and she rolled over. George sat fully clothed in the chair next to the bed, his gaze fixed on the window above her head.

"George..." She sat up and reached for her robe.

He looked down from the window and into her eyes as she pulled the robe around herself.

"I'm sorry." he said, his voice broken and apologetic.

Panic jumped into Luna's chest. What was he apologizing for?

"Sorry..." She slid forward until she was sitting on the edge of the bed, George only a few inches away from her. "For what?"

"For what happened between us last night." George took a deep breath "You were in pain and I took advantage of that."

Luna shrugged "I could have stopped you, but I didn't."

George shook his head "You shouldn't have had to. I shouldn't have stayed with you. I knew that it could happen...and I knew it would be a mistake if it did."

Luna gave him a hard look "It was a mistake?"

"Of course it was." George pleaded with her to understand "I told you weeks ago...I can't ever be with you like that again."

"So, you don't regret that you 'took advantage of my pain' as much as you do that you let your guard down, is that it?"

"I regret them both." He said as he stood and walked to the window. "It's my fault and I am sorry. I never meant to give you false hope."

"False hope." Luna glared at his back

"I can't do this, I told you before, I couldn't make any promises to you..."

"Then don't." Luna stalked to where he stood and grabbed his arm to force him to look at her "You just remember though, I never asked you for a damned thing."

"I never said you did." He put his hand out as if to touch her, then let it fall back to his side. "All of this...it's my fault. I knew that it would be difficult when I talked you into having the procedure, but I did it anyway. I did it because I care about you. But...what happened last night, it was wrong...because, it's more than I can give."

"You mean that your afraid." Luna sank back onto the side of the bed "You got too close to wanting a future with me and it scared you, isn't that what you mean?"

"I suppose so." He sighed "But that doesn't mean that I don't still want you in my life Luna...I want to be your friend..."

Luna shook her head and laughed bitterly. "You'll have to forgive me if I tell you to fuck off."

"Luna..." he reached out again to touch her and Luna jerked away from him.

"Get out." she spat acerbically

"What?"

"I said, get out." She stood and lifted her chin angrily "It should make things easier for you...this time you won't have to run away like a little child."

She crossed her arms over her chest as he looked at her, his eyes pleading.

"Luna...please..."

"I SAID GET OUT!" She looked at him like she wished he would drop dead on the spot. "GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!"

George didn't say another word. He stepped past her, went into the other room and picked up his trunk, and then, he was gone.

Luna rose from the bed and went into the bathroom. She turned the water in the shower to as hot as she could stand it, then she stepped under the hot spray...desperate to scrub away the evidence of what had happened the night before.

While she scrubbed she decided that she would collapse the tent and go to Daigon Alley. She would spend the tonight at the Leaky Cauldron and then, tomorrow, she would board the train for Hogwarts.

Her life here was over. It was time to move on...and, it was time to leave George Weasley behind her as well...as far behind as possible.

- - -

George couldn't keep his eyes off the clock above the door of the shop. It was 9:45, soon, Luna would be boarding the train for Hogwarts and then she would be gone.

It should have made him happy...instead he was miserable.

He couldn't shake the picture of her face from his mind. The look of hurt and betrayal in her eyes when he told her that his making love to her had been a mistake.

He turned at a ringing over the door.

George hadn't seen Angelina Johnson since Fred's funeral as she had gone away for the summer with her family. Now, she walked across the room until she stood in front of him. She didn't say say a word...she glared at him for a couple of seconds, and then she slapped him so hard he fell to his knees.

"Nice to see you too Angie." George got to his feet again. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Angelina looked ready to let George have it again. George backed away and put the counter between them.

"Angie...I'm not sure what I did...but, I..."

"YOU!" Angelina spat as she stepped up to the counter, her eyes glaring with pure hate. "How dare you use Fred's memory to hurt Luna!"

Realization swept over George as he stared into Angelina's extremely pissed off face.

"I take it you saw Luna."

"Oh yes, you take it right." Angelina crossed her arms "I saw her last night at the Leaky Cauldron and she told me everything, as she was sobbing her poor eyes out I might add."

"I see." George slid a chair out and sat down.

"How..." Angelina leaned over the counter "How can you do that to her? How can you be such an idiot?"

"Latent family gene?" George sighed "Percy obviously had one..."

"Would you STOP trying to be cute? It's not working with me, it never has."

It was on the tip of George's tongue to tell Angelina that he couldn't help being cute, then he got a good look at her. Her temper was already near the breaking point. Better not to push it.

"Do you have any idea George..." she shook her head "How much Fred would hate what you are doing to Luna? What you are doing to yourself?"

"Angie, it's complicated."

"It's only complicated because you're making it complicated." Angelina sighed and leaned down with her elbows on the counter. "Fred loved you, and he loved Luna. He would want you to be happy. Together."

Again the picture of Luna as she lay in the white casket flashed across his mind. Luna, dead. Luna, never coming back. Luna...lost to him forever. The idea was more than he could bear.

"Not everyone ends up with Happily Ever After Angie."

"You're telling me that?" Angelina glared at him again "I was suppose to pick out a wedding dress instead, I picked out a flower arrangement to put on my fiancés grave."

Angelina wiped away a swath of tears "George, you don't always get second chances. You should know that better than anybody."

"I DO know it." he said sadly "But, not every second chance is wonderful you know. Do you think I want a second chance to see someone I love stretched out in a coffin? You think I want to bury another person I love?"

"George..." Angeling stepped around the counter and knelt down in front of him. "Life doesn't give guarantees. Luna is in no more danger now than she was in before Voldemort. The only difference is you. You've seen now how fragile life really is."

"I'm afraid." He said softly "I am so damned afraid of losing her."

"I understand that George, I do. I imagine I will feel that way too when I am ready to start seeing people again. But, we can't let it stop us."

"What if I am TOO afraid?" he looked at her, his eyes wide "What if I can't get past it?"

"George, you need to understand something." Angelina put her hand on his cheek "You're already losing her. It's just a different kind of loss."

George's head shot up. He'd thought about it like that. But it was true.

"The train will be leaving soon you know. You should go and see her."

"Maybe after I've had some time...maybe when she comes back at Christmas."

Angelina gave him a dirty look "Because waiting to talk to her when she come home for Christmas worked so well for you last year."

"Angie..."

"Besides..." Angelina took a deep breath "She won't be coming home at Christmas."

"What do you mean?"

"She's going to stay at school over the holidays." Angelina gave him a meaningful look "She's put her fathers land up for sale George. After she finishes school she is moving to Belize with her aunt. She won't be coming back here again."

George's heart raced with panic. Luna was selling her fathers land? Selling the house they had begun together?

He looked up at the clock. He only had forty minutes.

- - -

Luna stared out the window of the Hogwarts express, anxious for the train to pull out and begin its journey. She couldn't help reflecting on what a miracle it was that she was on the train at all, the previous spring after she had been hurt it looked like she would never finish school.

Then George came back into her life and changed everything.

Luna sighed regretfully, her mind going back over their final moments together. Perhaps she had been a bit harsh, perhaps she should have been more understanding. But the thing was, understanding only went so far before it was blotted out by pain and Luna had had more than enough pain lately to last her a lifetime.

Luna had loved Fred Weasley deeply, he was like an older brother to her, the brother she had spent her childhood wishing for. Losing him had hurt her more than anyone, including George, had realized. Then, she lost her father too and Luna had thought she might die from the sadness his loss had brought on. Maybe she had leaned on George more than she should have, but, if he really loved her as he'd claimed to...shouldn't it have been easy for him to be there for her?

Luna had never gotten over the pain brought on by her break-up with George, and just when she had thought she might get past it, there he was, back in her life. All summer, just as she thought they were growing closer...to something...he pulled back and ran away.

Just how the hell much was she suppose be to able to take? How much hurt and disappointment would she be able to handle before she was broken beyond repair?

As much as Luna loved George, she couldn't keep doing this to herself. She just couldn't.

Luna sighed and sat back in the seat, trying to pretend that her heart wasn't broken in half. Then she heard his voice calling out to her.

"Luna!"

Luna sat forward and looked out the window again in time to see George rush the side of the train. She pushed the window open.

"George?" She said, her heart soaring at the idea that he had come, her mind screaming at him to just leave her be. "What are you doing here?"

"Luna..." he gasped, trying to catch his breath "Please...I have to talk to you." From behind his back he pulled out a single yellow rose and handed it to her through the window.

Luna looked at her watch, she only had about ten minutes.

"Alright, fine." She stood and met Ginny just outside the car.

"Luna?" Ginny asked "Where are you going? You'll miss the train."

"Ask you brother." Luna thumbed out the window and stepped down the stairs to where George stood, Ginny chewing him out through the train window.

"What do you want George?" Luna asked angrily. Ginny grinned smugly and closed the window.

"I came to apologize." He took her hand "For what I said."

"I think we've said more than enough to each other George." Luna said, her heart hardened with her resolve not to let him hurt her again.

"Luna, I was an idiot." He looked deeply into her eyes. "All this time I've been pushing you away, it was stupid...I was stupid."

"George, I have to go."

"Wait... please." George tried to ignore Ginny's face, glaring at him from the window "I want you in my life Luna..."

"As what?" Luna asked sadly "Your friend? I think we've proven beyond a doubt that we can't be just friends George. Besides, I want more, I deserve more. And what I want is more than you give."

"I want more too." George's eyes were pleading "You know I do. I wouldn't have made love to you if I didn't, you know that. I love you Luna."

Luna looked at him for a second, her eyes incredibly sad. "I know you do. I know you love me George. But, I can't spend the rest of my life wondering when you will get afraid, wondering when you are going to run out on me again."

"I won't." He took her hand in his "I won't leave you again."

"I wish I could believe that George." Luna put her hand on his cheek "You have no idea how much I wish it. But, something happened to you when Fred died, something broke inside of you and I'm not strong enough to fix it." She handed back the yellow rose. "A rose and a poem aren't enough to bring us together this time. You and I just weren't meant for eternity, and the sooner we accept it the better...for both of us."

The conductor yelled out the final boarding call and Luna kissed George on the cheek.

"Goodbye George."

She turned away from him and climbed back aboard the train. Back in their compartment she sank down in her seat and her eyes met George's through the window a final time. He put his hands up on the window, his eyes begging her to change her mind. Luna shook her head and closed her eyes, then she turned away as the train began to pull out.

"Luna?" Ginny touched her hand "Are you okay?"

"No." She shook her head "I...am...not...okay."

Ginny put her arm around her and Luna lay her head on Ginny's shoulder.

"It's okay." Ginny urged "You have a good cry and when we get to school I will owl Harry and Ron and have them kill George."

Luna laughed a little "That would be nice, if he was to blame...but it's not his fault."

Ginny snorted "And just who's is it if it isn't my stupid brother?"

"Voldemort." Luna said the name for the first time in her life. She was done being afraid, she had seen too much of what fear could do to a person. "George and I, what we had...it's just another casualty of war."

Luna sat up and sighed as she watched the last of London fade from view.

She whispered softly "Goodbye George."

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Chapter Twenty Preview

George has

a talk with Angelina

Will he fight for the woman

he loves or will he

let her go

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