So here we are! Sorry this took so long. I started writing this chapter months ago, had writer's block and when I came back to it, it felt all wrong, so I re-did it. It is now completely different to what it originally was.

Anywho, I hope you enjoy it!

Fall

I sat on the podium, the wind whipping around me as I stared down, down to the roiling mist below. I gripped the stone ledge with sticky fingers, breathing heavily as the vertigo made my head spin. I could feel the plinth beneath me start to crack and crumble and I whimpered, praying that it wouldn't give. But when do dreams ever go your way? Something tugged on my foot and I screamed as I slipped further off the ledge. Another tug and I was off, hands snatching at what was left of the podium as panicked shrieks uttering from my lips. My fingers gripped what was left of the ledge, the wind now icily cold, stinging my face and hands. The podium finally disintegrated beneath my fingers and I tumbled down, head over heels as I plummeted to the bone chilling fog, my hands snatching at a ledge that wasn't there anymore. Hands and claws seemed to tear at my face and clothes, ripping my skin open, dark thick blood welling up in the raggedy gashes. I couldn't seem to stop screaming. The screeches were wrenched from my lips as I fell like a stone to an oblivion that I could not break out of.

"Lucy! Lucy! Wake up, wake up! It's alright, it's only a dream, wake up!" Draco's hands shook my shoulders, his calluses chafing at my skin. I blinked my eyes open to meet stormy grey ones staring anxiously down at me. A loud keening shriek was ripping my throat and something wet clung to my lashes and cheeks. Draco pulled me to his chest and he cradled me, murmuring sweet nonsense into my hair. The wails died from my throat, leaving only terrified whimpers. I could still feel the chilled fog on my skin, the hands clawing at my clothes. I fisted my hands in his shirt and allowed Draco to rock me until my moans faded away. Even after that he continued to hold me, his coarse thumbs rubbing away the tears from my cheeks, "Moppy tells me you often have bad dreams," he murmured, rubbing his hand soothingly up and down my back, "I didn't realise they were this bad. Why haven't you said something?"

His voice was accusatory and I blew out a shaky breath, slowly releasing my clenched fingers one by one from his shirt. "I didn't think it was important," I whispered hoarsely, looking up to see an angry face, "you have enough on your plate already and-"

"Don't presume such things," he snapped harshly, taking my chin between his fingers to make me look into his face, "you should have told me. I could get you Dreamless Sleep draughts or dream catchers. It would have been no trouble."

The way he was holding me was doing things to my head.

It scared me.

I scowled at him and was about to retort when he hissed in pain, his hand dropping from my chin to pull down his shirt sleeve to hide something from me.

"What's the matter?" I asked, reaching the arm he seemed so keen to hide from me.

He recoiled from me and hurriedly got out of bed, shoved his trousers on and smoothed back his hair. "I have to go," he managed to say in-between stuffing his feet into his boots, "I'm sorry, I'd stay longer but..." he trailed off before grabbing his wand from the bedside table.

He leaned on the bed to place his hand on the back of my neck and press his lips against my forehead. "I'll be back. I promise," he murmured against my skin.

He was gone before I could utter a sound, the door swinging slightly as his dark robes flicked around the door. I sat stunned in the crumpled duvet nest I had, the heat of him already fading from the sheets. I curled my fingers into my palms as I tried not to miss him. I tried so hard. And failed. I wrapped the sheets around me and lay back again, trying to find respite from the hollow ache in my chest. I shouldn't feel this. I shouldn't be feeling this at all. He's married, you silly girl! He keeps you on the grounds of his house in a secret annexe. He is part of a race that is hell bent on obliterating all that you come from. It would never work. But I could feel myself becoming tangled and the more I tried to break free the more the net tangled around my form. I groaned, thumping my head against the headboard.

Stupid Lucy. Silly Lucy.

Falling Lucy.

*D*L*

After the entire morning spent moping in bed, feeling sorry for myself, I willed myself to get out of bed and go outside. The snow had made everything seem so crisp, clean and bright. The seven year old in me itched to throw herself into the whiteness and just forget everything for a few hours. I found myself agreeing with her and I wrapped myself up in warm clothes after having a quick bite of toast and trekked out into that bright clean world. Gremlin was nowhere to be seen and a part of me was glad. I wanted to be alone, if only for a little while. I threw myself into the snow and began to sweep my arms and legs, making a snow angel.

"That's it Lucy, make a pretty angel."

Mum, cheeks red with cold, smiled widely, arms outstretched, "Who's a pretty angel?"

Aaron was rolling a snowball that was now up to his waist, huffing and puffing with effort. "Lu-lu! Stop rolling about and help me push!"

I spring to my feet, my 5 year old body stumbled towards where he was pushing, small red mittened hands, splaying up next to his black gloved ones. "Push!" my 9-year-old brother cried.

"Careful you two! Remember Aaron, she's only little," came Mum's worried voice.

"I can do it!" I said indignantly, while pushing against the wall of snow, "I'm a big girl now!"

Blinking away the memory, I sat up, staring out at the silent garden. It was a dead silence. A silence that seemed to mock.

I got up and quickly marched away from the snow angel, blinking rapidly. I set about making a snowman. I bat the snow into a compact snowball before rolling it into the snow.

"Heads!" Out of nowhere, a snowball smashed into my face, cold biting into my flesh.

I spluttered, wiping the icy water from my skin, "Gael! NOT COOL!" I gathered snow to create my own ammo, the ice seeping into the knees of my school tights.

Shrieks of laughter echoed around the park, my friends running off into different directions. The cold air burned my lungs, as I sprinted through the world of white.

I balled my gloved hands into fists, crushing them into my eyes. I was aware of the snow's wetness seeping into the knees of my trousers as I was kneeling down, but I didn't care. Voices whispered as images snatched and slid behind my eyes, my thoughts wandering through branches of memories. Looks like it going to be one of thosedays then.

Most of the time, I had Good Days. Days when I could get up and not feel guilty about it. When I could feel grateful for the fact that I am breathing. Then there were the Bad Days. They always started on the days I would have a nightmare. Then it would all go down hill from there. Just by Gremlin asking me if I wanted a cup of tea would make me think of my mother and how she loved to have tea in a chipped mug with a photo of all of us as babies on the side. Or when I took one look at my school books and remember how my friends and I would sit in the college library, studying quietly together for our AS's. Anything could set me off in either a bout of tears or sloping off to bed for the rest of the day, wishing it would all be normal again.

But that never happens.

I removed my hands from my eyes. Determined not to let this day get any worse, I continued to make a snowman. I breathed slowly and deeply, forcing my mind to think of the snow and the snow only.

I went to town with the snowman. Stones for buttons and eyes, branches for arms, a carrot for a nose, a nasty looking floral witch's hat and a heavily perfumed scarf I found at the back of the coat cupboard.

I stood back, staring at the snowman. It stared back, it's desperately cheerful smile leering at me and I turned away in disgust. What the fuck am I doing? Playing the child? 'Poor little me'? I rub at my face and felt like screaming at the top of my lungs again. Is this it? Me stuck behind these wall slowly going mad with a combination of guilt, insomnia and cabin fever? Fucking brilliant.

I sprint back to the house and slammed the door behind me, my eyes stinging hotly as I began to rip my gloves, jacket and hat from my body. I kicked off my boots and slid in my socks to the living room. I collapsed on the coach, curl into a ball, arms around my knees, knees to my chest as the tears finally spilled. I rock on the cushion, sobbing into the already soaked knees of my trousers, the taste of snow and salt on my lips.

Looks like I have already failed on trying not to make this day any worse.

God I am so messed up.

I hardly noticed him coming through the door. I hardly noticed the way he calmly sits beside me, pulling off his leather gloves with a smooth grace. He slipped an arm around me and made me lean back, gently working my locked limbs until I'm finally resting in his circled arms. He's stroking my hair again with one hand, the other bringing one of my freezing hands to his chest. "It's ok," he murmured, gently, "everything is ok."

I finally managed to choke past my sobs, "I'm sorry...having one of those days."

He pressed a kiss to my temple and the cold in my bones didn't feel so biting, "we all have them I suppose."

My tears died down until I was only snuffling slightly. Draco pulled out a handkerchief and wiped my cheeks. He then pulled out his wand and cast a fire in the grate, instantly filling the previously cold and gloomy room with dancing flickering light. He then whispered in a gentle voice, "I'm just going to perform a Drying Spell on you, ok?" I nodded and tried not to stiffen when he pointed his wand at me. I felt the frosty water evaporate from my knees, the cold starting to recede from my body. We sat in silence for a long while, listening to the ticking of the clock on the mantelpiece and the crackling of the flames in the hearth. The coldness drained from my bones and could begin to feel my fingers and toes again. It was then that I realised how hungry I was. My stomach gurgled and Draco sniggered. "Someone's hungry," he teased.

I said nothing but pulled away so I could look into his face. His playful smirk seemed to dull a little and a crease appeared between his brows. "Are you ok?"

Oh God, please don't do this.

I slid away from him, getting up to move to the kitchen. "Have you eaten?" I asked, "I've got chicken, rice and mushroom soup if you feel like it?"

"Uh...yes please," he replied, a surprised note to his voice as he sat heavily down in one of the kitchen seats.

I went to the pantry and pulled out the jug of homemade soup I had made yesterday.

"Lucy, sit down, I'll handle it," Draco chided, pulling out his wand. The jug was pried from my fingers and it poured itself into the steel pot. I squeaked in surprise as I felt an outside force push me towards one of the seats and sit me down. "There. Now just relax," he told me, grinning as he made a fire appear under the now hovering pot.

I sat in silence as he made two bowls appear out of thin air and were filled with the thick soup. They settled on the tables in front of us and bright silver spoons appeared next to them. "Thank you," I all but whispered, spooning up a mouthful.

We were silent for as we ate. I sat hunched over, trying to eat. But I couldn't. My throat was thick to the point of pain, making it hard to swallow even the soft soup. My head pounded, my stomach churned, there was a ringing in my ears. I wanted to slope off to bed and sleep for days, months, years.

"Lucy, what's wrong?" Draco finally asked, his eyes flickering up to me, "you look dead on your feet. What's the matter?"

I glanced up at him and wished I could pull back the clock hands, so I could be just a waitress and he could just be the boy I serve coffee to. I bit my lip and shook my head, "its nothing."

His eyes darkened, "bullshit. Don't lie to me Lucy. It's insulting and it pisses me off."

I clench my jaw and turn my gaze from him, "got a lot on my mind."

"Like what?" his tone was hostile, anger skittering around the edges, "look at me! Like what?"

I flickered my gaze back to him and nearly flinched at what I saw. His face was filled with harsh lines and angles, mercury eyes burning into me. "Its stupid," I said, feeling my face heat.

"I don't care. Tell me," his voice was trying to make itself gentle, but there was an underlying harshness.

My hands began to shake. To make them stop I dropped them beneath the table, clenching them against my jeans. "I just... I'm confused. I'm very confused." I pushed away from the table and got up on quivering legs. My vision clouded as the blood rushed away from my head and I wobbled, quickly gripping the chair I had just gotten up from.

"Lucy!" warm hands gripped my waist and hot breath rushed across my cheek. Winter silver eyes burned into me as the room began to spin, "about what?"

My hands reached up and gripped his shirt, holding the soft material in my fists, "You. This cottage. My family. This whole fucked up situation."

I released my hands and made them push his hands away. "I'm going to bed," I mumbled, turning away from him and walking to the stairs.

I expected him to call me back but he was silent as I started heaving my body up the stairs. My muscles protested and it was getting harder to breathe. It was on the fifth step did things start to really go wrong. The world blurred and twisted, the temperature seemed to rocket and the air smothered around my mouth. From faraway, someone seemed to shout my name. I hardly noticed as I felt gravity tilt on it's axis.

I crashed into something warm and hard, and more desperate noises bursted on my ears. Fingers stroked back my hair and brought my head up. More sounds, as these fingers prodded my skin. I groaned, wishing they would stop. I just wanted to sleep. I just wanted to sleep and never wake up.

My wish was granted as darkness crawled from the corners of my eyes and blackened my world, pushing me into unconsciousness.

So there we have it! It's a bit short I know but I now have a better idea of what is coming up, so the next chapter shouldn't take too long, hopefully.

Anyway, what do you think? Lucy's ill and all confuddled! She's going to be alright though, promise!

Anyway, please tell me what you think. I appreciate anything you have to say and will try and reply.

Till next time!

Bones