Kakart's P.O.V.
After the incident with the crocodile and the guy from the company saying there was a mix up. We now have a goat.
His name is Crocodile, but Gamzee calls him Tootsie when he thinks I'm not looking.
Equius and Nepeta came over when the guy was taking the crocodile away and handing over the goat. Nepeta decided to call him Sir Leopold the Lion Roar. Equius just asked us if we were okay. Then Gamzee exaggerated and told him I beat the crocodile to submission while I was naked and a little tipsy. I had to rectify that all I did was tie the crocodile's mouth close with my towel.
After the first week of living with Gamzee, I decided to let him sleep in the same bed as me. Not my greatest decision, considering he now hugs me like a teddy bear at night.
At our second week John lost the bet he started, serves him right that douche canoe. I was okay with Gamzee holding my hand, even in public when we finally found someone to goat-sit for us to actually go on a date.
It was around week three I was okay with kissing.
Okay I was somewhat enthusiastic about kissing. Shut up.
Week four was when our remaining friends that had a bet on us, started interfering. Like Dave and Terezi suggesting threesomes, or Tavros who found a new dealer that's cheaper.
Week five was when Vriska stepped up her game and told everyone to fuck off and anymore interference will result in a forfeit of their bet. She then started asking personal questions that I sure as hell didn't answer and Gamzee didn't understand enough (or at least pretended to) to answer with actual coherent words.
Kankri came to visit on the sixth week. I was finally used to cuddling with Gamzee and then he showed up. He went on about how I shouldn't get too close because I'm more likely to get a divorce. Then my reply went like: Not if Vriska wins her bet. Then he went on a long lecture about gambling and gambling addictions and how could my friends do that, blah blah blah. I know he cares and all but I'm a grown ass man. I can take care of myself damn it! Tavros lost his bet.
Week seven we taught Crocodile the goat how to climb the fire escape.
Week eight we get into an argument about whether or not Crocodile can sleep in the bed with us or not. We compromised and made a small bed for the goat and placed it next to ours. My room started to smell like goat, eventually I convinced Gamzee to give Crocodile a bath at least once a week.
Week nine I am now okay with taking showers with Gamzee as long as Crocodile stays outside of the bathroom.
Week ten Gamzee's dad decided to stay with us for two weeks.
And those two weeks were tense. His dad was scary as fuck so we didn't argue when he applied his own rules to my apartment. He regarded the goat fondly. Then he asked us why we named him Crocodile. We couldn't tell him what really happened, he would either think we were lying or that we went crazy. So I just said "Why the fuck not?" He glared at me and opened his mouth to say something, until Gamzee cut in "Motherfucker you wouldn't believe the crazy story of how we got that goat, Karkat here had to wrestle a crocodile naked." He just gave Gamzee a look of I'm so done with your shit. On his eighth day here, he asked when we were going to get a divorce. Gamzee outright said "If I'm lucky, never." At this point I was so done with everyone talking about divorce, I just wanted to hide until the six months were over. So I got up and went to my shared room. Gamzee followed a few minutes after.
I was lying face down on the bed. I jumped when I felt hands suddenly touch my shoulders, then relaxed when I noticed it was just Gamzee. He started to rub the tension out of my shoulders. I let out a sigh when he reached my neck. I fell asleep when he started on my back. I woke up a couple hours later to the melodic sound of things breaking.
Oh fan-fucking-tastic.
I got up and trudged into the living room to see what was going on. The next thing I knew I was being pinned down on the floor with my arms over my head. That really woke me the fuck up. Gamzee's dad was straddling my waist, glaring down at me. "What the fuck?" I shouted. "You are not going to cheat my half-brain son out of what's rightfully his." he shouted at me. "Get the motherfuck off of him!" I heard Gamzee shout. I turned my head to look in his direction just to watch him try to knock his dad off me. He rammed into him, only to fall backwards flat on his ass. "Is this about the goat?" I asked, not really sure what the hell was going on. "Nah, old man here thinks you know about my uncle Stevie." he said standing back up. He grabbed the statue of the harpy that I have been hiding under the couch and said "Okay old goat get off Karkat now, or I'll fucking hit you with a naked bird lady." Mr. Makara had to do a double take at the statue before getting off of me. I sat up and scowled at the both of them. "Explain why you two are acting crazy…. more so than usual." I demanded. Gamzee started "Well apparently a couple weeks back my uncle Stevie died and left all his money to Kurloz and me." "Great put it in a bank, save it for when you really need it." I replied. "How do I know you won't steal it from my son?" Mr. Makara spoke up. "Because I have a fucking job, and we still have money left over from the casino, I also pay for this apartment." I raised an eyebrow. He didn't really think I would do that to Gamzee, did he?
That was exactly what he was thinking. Even as the two weeks ended. Before he left he told Gamzee to call him if and when he was getting divorced.
You know what. Fuck everyone. I'm going to hold out for a fucking year just to spite everyone. And if I'm still happy then I'll keep it up for another year.
Week thirteen Terezi lost the bet. Gamzee decided he wanted to celebrate our two month anniversary. So we pawned off the Harpy statue and went to Kanaya's tailor shop. She was happy to announce that she and Rose were somehow getting a baby. She was also able to help us get nicer clothes. We got ourselves fancy reservations at a fancy restaurant and invited Terezi and Dave to come with us. So I might still be bitter about the whole bet thing, and maybe we didn't express how fancy this place was.
They say success is the best revenge.
The next couple of weeks after that were a bit awkward around Dave and Terezi. They did their best to play it off as ironic.
Rest of the six months passed uneventfully. Just the regular routine. I get up, squirm out of Gamzee's bear hug, trip over the goat, get dressed, get ready for work, eat breakfast, go to work, come home to Gamzee doing god knows what, dinner then sleep. It was the day before Dave and Terezi's rehearsal dinner that Gamzee announced that he was going to try his best to quit drugs.
The end of the six months Dave loses the bet.
The day after I finally fucking found it.