The Castle Wall

Chapter 4

The Wall

They arrived on the scene of a hit and run a few minutes later. She parked her cruiser and Castle got out immediately. Kate took a moment, as she always did, to remind herself who she worked for: the victim. She was their voice. She got out of the car and caught up with Castle just as he was ducking under the police tape held aloft by Officer Torres. "Thanks, Al." Castle said to the cop as he let Beckett through first. The victim of an apparent hit and run was lying on the pavement. Her body stretched out un-naturally in a K shape. She was dressed professionally, like she had just come from her job. Her pumps were off of her feet, and her wavy red hair was matted down with the blood that seeped from a head injury. Her eyes were open, non-seeing, staring at the traffic.

"Hey Lanie, what do we have?" Kate addressed Dr. Lanie Parish, the M.E. and Kate's best friend.

"Hey. Hit and run. Janet Marlowe, twenty-four year old female, didn't know what hit her, but I do." Kate looked around at the scene. CSU was busy marking evidence, taking pictures and the gathering it up. There was a horrible mess of blood and pavement, the victim's personal belongings and debris that accumulated on a New York City street.

Kate asked Lanie, "Any chance this was an accident?"

Lanie said "I don't think so; the force that she was hit with indicates a fairly high speed and in this traffic..." She indicated the heavy traffic and shook her head. Kate turned around to find Castle gazing at the victim. She had found that he became quiet and introspective when the victim was younger or reminded him of someone he cared for.

Kevin Ryan and Javier Esposito came walking up just then. "Beckett" they said in unison. Ryan continued, "Got a report from the uni's canvassing witnesses," Esposito continued, "There are a lot of them from that café." He pointed to a sidewalk café on the north side of the street. Ryan picked it up again, "The accounts are all the same: they all say that the car was parked and idling, when she stepped onto the cross walk, the driver gunned it and ran her down, didn't slow and took off down that alley."

"So someone decided to use a car as a weapon." Kate stated. She looked disgusted. "Okay, boys, get whatever traffic cam footage there is. Have the uni's canvass for the car, although I don't think it will be around here anymore." She sighed, "Lanie, where are her personal effects? Maybe they will tell us something."

"She had a few bags and her purse. Also, she was carrying a couple of shopping bags. One of them had Castle's latest and it was signed."

Castle, who had been studying the scene, looked up at this. "What? Frozen Heat? Wow. Let me take a look." Lanie uncovered the woman's face again. He looked doubtful, "I… I really can't say for sure. I just had a book signing this morning, not too far from here. I understand they sold six hundred copies. But I was at two other book signings earlier this week. I feel awful, but I don't remember her." Castle looked troubled. "Beckett? How much of a coincidence is it that our victim, who has my book, was killed on the same day that Gina was assaulted?"

She held up a hand. "Castle, let's not make any assumptions."

"Who's Gina? Your ex-wife? What happened?" Lanie was unsurprisingly, inquisitive.

"She's also my publisher. She was attacked this afternoon. She's in the hospital." He had a deep crease between his eyebrows; it appeared when he was deep in thought or concerned about something.

"Well, you just stay over there then. We don't need anyone else tied to you getting hurt." she tried to provoke him into verbal sparring with her. He

disappointed her. He was too focused on the events of the morning to engage. He pursed his lips and blew out the breath he had held.

The driver pulled the car to a stop in an alley after several turns and making sure she wasn't followed. She took a deep breath, looked in the mirror, and rubbed the last of the blood off of her hands. She then turned the wipe to the car. She used it to wipe off the steering wheel, the door handles and any place else she may have touched. She was aware it would not be productive to have him find out that she had helped him. She knew he was a strong, proud man and wouldn't accept her help willingly. So she helped him quietly, silently, eliminating all of those little distractions. He would be so pleased that she was helping him. He could use his time to focus on what really mattered; his work and finally, her. She left the car and headed home, another productive day done.

She walked up the stoop to her apartment building, and unlocked the outer door. She stopped in the vestibule, opened her mail box and sorted through the junk, bills and ads; nothing. Her eyes flashed angrily as she realized that he still didn't answer her latest letter. What was taking so long? How could he ignore her, still? Didn't he realize what she was doing and what she had done for him? She slammed the mailbox shut and started walking up the stairs. She got to her apartment door, unlocked it and slipped inside.

Her apartment was modest, but tasteful. She didn't have the resources for new furnishings, but she was still proud of her decorating abilities. It was everything she thought he would like. Browns and deep reds, an overstuffed armchair and, her prized possession; a writer's desk she had acquired at an auction. It was just right and someday, he would write there, he would love it. She passed through the living room into a narrow hallway, past the bath to the bedroom. Her bedroom was also decorated the way she thought he would like it; masculine, but not hard. A place for rest and where she would make sure he was comfortable. Her clothes were on racks along the wall, neatly arranged by color; a rainbow of outfits, picked out with him in mind. Everything she did was to please him.

She walked to the door on the far side of the bedroom, unlocked three locks and swung it open. The only light was from a small monitor on a table at the back of what was once the bedroom's closet. The picture was of an elegant hallway. She kept a recording of this hall, his hall, to keep track of where he was, who he was with and to catch a glimpse of him when they were apart. She knew he wasn't due home yet so she turned her attention to her bookshelf. She turned on the light by the string attached to the bare bulb in the center of the ceiling. She placed her newly acquired copy of "Frozen Heat" on the shelf next to "Heat Rises". She smiled as she remembered her little joke. She told him that her name was Alexis. This was the first time for that name. She had used so many in the past. Their game was to pretend her name was a family member's or friend's names. She pulled a couple of books off of the shelf, opened the front covers. He had signed them to names like Martha and Meredith and today; Alexis. It was a fun game. She would always get an animated response from him when she used a family name. She was placing the books carefully back on the shelf when something in the monitor caught her eye. Her pulse quickened; he was home. She watched him exit the elevator but he wasn't alone. The detective was with him again. This was becoming a tiresome habit. He worked with her. Why did she have to follow him home? She watched the video as he put his key in the lock. They were speaking to each other. She felt a surge of pride; he was always working. She watched them pause at the door, he reached for her and pulled her close and kissed her. He left her breathless and then strode inside, grinning. The detective followed and the door closed.

Her world was crashing. He had done it again. He was "involved". It was too much, her heart raced, her breathing was shallow, and her mind spun. She looked at all the mementos she had so meticulously arranged on the dingy walls of her closet. Candid photos she had taken. Magazine clippings, publicity shots, newspaper articles even gossip columns, anything that mentioned him or pictured him. She had his books; usually she was first in line. She even had a framed letter from him. It had come with an eight by ten photo that he had signed. She looked around at all of her treasures and looked back at the deserted hallway on the video. She replayed his kiss again in her head. She said, "It should be me." so low it could hardly be heard. She tore a magazine cover off of the wall, "It should be me!" This time she screamed. She couldn't see anything, couldn't feel except for rage. She pulled the books from the shelves and hurled them across the room. She was pounding her fists on the walls and punched the framed picture. The glass and frame broke and cut her. She howled in pain and at the unfairness of her life. She slowly realized she was bleeding. She had gone to the bathroom to bandage the cut and then came back to the closet. The wall was damaged. His photos were dotted with her blood. The books were thrown against the wall. What had she done? She didn't want to hurt him or even pictures of him, but how could he hurt her? How could he be so blind to her love? Why didn't he just see her? So many questions; all the old questions. Sobbing, she slowly came back to the present. Whatever the answers were to his betrayal of her, one thing was clear; he'd played with the detective long enough. She needed to go.

Castle paid the cabbie and turned to hold the door for Kate. She was so independent that he didn't get to perform this gesture very often. They waved to Eduardo in the lobby, crossed to get his mail and got on the elevator. They rode the elevator in relative silence.

Kate glanced at him, "Are you okay?" He was deep in thought. "Castle?"

Rick turned to her and focused. "Just thinking about how fast your day can change." The elevator stopped and they got off.

"Gina will be fine. She wasn't hurt seriously. She was lucky. Why don't we order in, get a glass of wine and just relax tonight?" Kate was doing her best to distract him and to bring him out of the funk he was sinking in. As a cop, she had learned how to turn off the day's events. He hadn't quite mastered the skill yet.

He looked at her in the hallway just as it dawned on him that she was trying to cheer him up and said "That sounds good," he paused as he put his key in the lock, grinned at her, the grin with the mischief behind his eyes and before she knew it Kate was pulled into a deep, breath taking kiss. He pulled away and left her dumbfounded in the hall. It had the effect he wanted and she followed him into the loft like a puppy.

The loft was dark, apparently Martha was out somewhere. Kate was glad. Although she loved Martha, it was nice to just enjoy Rick's company alone once in a while. She stopped in the kitchen and pulled menus from the bookshelf and followed him into his office.

"What do you feel like tonight?" She asked as she walked in to the office. She loved this room. It was totally him; books, light, glass, interesting art, knick-knacks and toys, there were always toys. He was sitting at his desk, going through the mail. He sorted personal and work. Today he received a large brown envelope from Black Pawn. He opened it thinking it was something from Gina, but then tossed it aside to be looked at later.

"What's that?" She had noticed the return address.

He made a face, "Fan mail."

"I thought you had a flunky send out autographed pictures." she teased.

"They're not 'flunkies'. For the majority of the photo requests, yes, I have someone else send responses. But every once in a while Black Pawn will send me the latest, greatest hits. It's kind of a joke, ya know; which of the letters are the most disturbing." She smiled. She remembered the first case they worked together when they went through his fan mail, boxes and boxes of it. She had asked him if they were always that creepy and he said it wasn't a big deal.

"So, that sounds….interesting." She looked doubtful.

"Actually, it can be. Alexis and I try to picture some of the authors. Maybe we can play after dinner." He waggled his eyebrows at her. "How about Chinese?"

"Sounds good. You order, I'll get comfortable."

A half an hour later she emerged from her bath relaxed, sleepy and hungry. She smelled the delivered food all the way in the bedroom and it made her hungrier. She came into the kitchen expecting to find him opening a bottle of wine or dishing up the beef with broccoli, but he wasn't. He was on the couch, his head resting on the back of the cushion. There was a fire in the fireplace. He had the envelope of fan mail, and a glass of wine, and he was snoring. Kate sighed, and smiled as she remembered his abbreviated sleep last night. She walked over and took the wine glass from him; it was balanced. He didn't even move. She picked up the envelope to put it on the table, got a throw and put it over him. She went back to the kitchen and got herself some food and wine and settled in the overstuffed arm chair. She picked up the envelope and fished out a letter and began to read as she ate.

'Dear Mr. Castle,

I really feel like I know you better than being so formal. So Dear Ricky, You won't mind Ricky.

I read in an article that that was what you want to be called. I just want to say, you're wonderful. I'm fifteen…'

Kate shuddered and put the letter down. No wonder his ego seemed so inflated sometimes, it was constantly being stroked by people who didn't know him but who professed to know him and to love him. Yikes. She put the fan girl letter down and stuck her hand in deep, like she was pulling the winning number in a lottery. This one was still in the envelope. She pulled out the folded piece of paper and a photograph fell out. The woman was totally nude and posing as Nikki Heat novel cover art. Kate rolled her eyes and then chuckled. "Unbelievable."

She picked out another, promising letter.

'Richard,

I know you are busy, but I'm so disappointed that you haven't taken the time to acknowledge my last several letters. There is just so much I can take of your unresponsiveness. You have to know that we are meant to be together.

You have to know that I'm not like those others girls, your date of the week. You're just wasting the time that we can be together. I read your latest manuscript for Frozen Heat and it's your best, so you can stop shadowing the detective finally. If you're waiting for her, you're wasting more time. She is worthless now; you've used her as much as you can so just dump her before she traps you like Meredith or Gina. I really wish you would just wake up and see what's in front of you. How long I've been waiting, watching, getting myself ready for you. It's really a shame you can't control yourself, but when we're together that will change. I'll make sure you change.

I'll see you soon. You'll be at a book signing. I already have Frozen Heat, but I know you want to play our little game. I'll be Alexis this time, that way you'll know me. I don't understand why you didn't react when I told you I was Martha two weeks ago. Except that you're very good at the game, of course.

Until then, my love.

P.S. Please don't flirt. I can't control myself when I see you loving other women. I don't like to be angry, but if you persist, they'll just have to be punished.'

Kate realized she was holding her breath as she put the letter down. She looked up and saw Castle looking at her. "Kate? What is it? Are you okay?" He looked at the letter, "Oh, you can't take these seriously. Sorry, I should have warned you."

"Castle, are they all like this?"

"What do you mean?"

"This one is specific, threatening."

"Let me see." He picked it up, read it and made a repulsive face. "Wow! I think we have a winner. Ya know, I think I remember an 'Alexis' from today. Didn't seem like a psychopath, just a nice girl."

"Have you seen the other letters she was referring to?"

"I don't think so, Charlie only sends the really 'special ones',", he made air quotes, "good and bad. I wouldn't worry about it. You know the psychology; it would take something significant to have this nut job act on her ramblings."

"I had no idea that this kind of thing was 'normal'," making her own air quotes, "for you. It's frightening."

"It's all part of the price. That's why I make the big bucks, detective". He smiled and went to get himself some supper. "Really, don't worry about it." he called over his shoulder. Kate just stared at the letter.

"Castle? This hard for me to admit, but I think you're much more well adjusted than I gave you credit. This kind of thing must be hard to ignore or dismiss."

"I'm okay if it remains in the letters, hell; I've even used some of the stuff they write." He looked at her expression, "What?" He came back to the couch, took the letter and put it back in the envelope. "Sorry I fell asleep, I'm just drained." She was finished with her food so she got up and came to sit next to him.

"Maybe I can help you relax." and she began to kiss his neck.

"You know I'm eating right?" She ignored him. Soon, he ignored his food.

It was 3:45 a.m. She was watching and waiting. She hadn't seen the detective emerge from Richard's loft. Up until midnight, she had herself convinced that they were working late, but as it grew later and later she accepted that he was hurting her again, deliberately. She would compose her last letter to him in the morning. He would have to learn. She would make him learn.