A/N: Well, I was plotting this out in my head for a few days before I decided to finally get it down on paper. Or...magnetized disc, or whatever, since I'm typing it. But, hey, yanno, whatever works...

A/N Redux: Sorry for the length of time since the last update. It's been pretty busy around here, and all. Although, thanks to Shinoskunoichi for a review via PM, since the review system wasn't working for her.

Disclaimer:I do not own Naruto, nor do I own Slayers.

Deidara has a Brother?!

Across the Great Ocean!

"Hurgh...." Deidara moaned piteously as he hung over the railing. "Tobi...I hate you."

"Sempai! Isn't this GREAT?!" Tobi called down from the crow's nest. He was dancing on the tiny platform. "Tobi loves sailing!"

"How far...*urk*" Deidara interrupted himself briefly, "How much farther...to port, un?" The seasick and sleep-deprived nukenin begged of the ship's captain, a big, be-turbaned man clad entirely in green. The captain stroked his goatee a moment before replying.

"Well...we're making good time. Assuming we can dodge the serpent, and no Navy ships try to intercept us...another day. If we have to fight..." he shrugged. "Two, maybe three days. If the serpent shows up, we'll be lucky to make it at all, though. This is a rather small ship to hunt sea monsters in, yeah?" He laughed, a big, booming laugh that seemed entirely out of place when he was talking about his own death.

"Sempai! Green-san!"

"Akiroshi's my name! How many times do I need to tell you?!" The seaman roared, shaking his fist at the masked man in the lookout's position.

"Not...ugh...captain?" The suffering blond queried, "I thought sea captains always...insisted on 'Captain'."

"Well…" Akiroshi was looking away, unwilling to make eye contact, "I'm…not exactly a captain…"

"Eh? What do you mean, not a captain, un?!" Deidara asked, alarmed, seasickness all but forgotten.

"I'm only a Senior Officer of the Fleet. Not a Captain…"

"Akiroshi-san! Sempai! Look! Look! What's that?" Tobi was pointing, and waving, and bouncing on the narrow platform he stood on, so very far above the deck.

"Should he be doing that…?" Akiroshi mused, watching the man's antics dangerously high in the air. "If he slips…My grandfather broke his back, falling from the rigging…"

"We're ninja, he'll be fine, un." Deidara dismissed the sailor's worries as he scanned the ocean with his scope, "But what's he talking about? I don't…see…What the hell is that?!?"

For, indeed, the very seas roiled with the wrath of some nameless sea god, as a massive object rose to the surface…and rose…and rose, until the green and scaly object towered high over the ship, leering down at the terrified crew, and the passengers.

"The serpent! Damn. I was hoping we could avoid it, but…" The green man was smiling…a hungry, dangerous smile. "It looks like it's a fight. A good one. Oy! Hop to it, ye dogs! We can take this gods-forsaken, glorified Triketos! Where's my sword?! Where's that mage?!"

A pair of crewmen came up from below, lugging between them a huge sword, as big as a man, and behind them an old, old man in a dark robe, maybe black, maybe blue, perhaps purple. Akiroshi seized the sword in one hand, and pointed with the other.

"Oy, finger-wiggler! This is what you're here for! Put it down!" He roared.

"Oh, ah, umm…this…It's a sea dragon of some kind…Very resistant to magic. I am," The old man preened a bit, "a master sorcerer. But I am afraid…I won't be able to do much beyond delaying it…"

"Magic?" Deidara scoffed, "Preposterous!"

"Oo! Oo! Tobi has an idea! Tobi has an idea!" Tobi was sitting on the decking in front of the mage, waving his arm in the air like an excited schoolchild. The mage looked at him expectantly. Tobi returned the look brightly. The mage looked at him in annoyance. Tobi waved his arm a bit faster, stretching higher, as though the mage may have overlooked him sitting there.

Deidara sighed deeply. "Yes, Tobi, un?"

"Deidara-sempai and Tobi could help! We're…" he paused, and looked around as though revealing a deep, dark secret, before continuing in a stage whisper, "ninja. Sempai is super-strong! We're S-class nukenin!"

"Tobi! We don't brag about-!" Deidara began to scold, when he was interrupted.

"Being criminals? For fear of being turned in, or the like, yeh? Well, you two are in good company!" Akiroshi beamed. The blond blinked. "Didn't, er, Tobi, there tell you? Why do you think navies are after us? We…are Pirates! The pirates of the Whiskey Lullaby!"

"Notorious cutthroats of great renown!" Tobi chimed in. Suddenly, something crashed to deck, shattering boards and snapping ropes, before grabbing two of the burly sailors.

"Ah, hah, the dragon, right. Well, do what you will. Mage, waterwalking, if you would?" After the spell was cast, Akiroshi jumped right over the edge of the ship, massive sword in hand. Tobi followed, whistling a cheery tune.

While this by-play was going on, the crew had been readying ballistae and a catapult to battle the dragon. The siege engines began to open fire, casting great bolts and the occasional great flaming ball of pitch.

Deidara was grumbling and shaping clay, while the mage chanted and waved. "Stupid pirates, and stupid dragons, and stupid Tobi for getting us involved in all of this…"

"Source of all life, Flame Burning Bright, Ignite my Foe with Your Holy Light! Immolate!" The mage called the Chaos Words, and cast his spell at the beast, doing little more than drying it off a bit.

Finishing his sculpting, Deidara cast his gaze over the battle. The ship was heavily damaged, and the catapult was smashed to kindling. The mage's…jutsu, yes, jutsu, because there's no such thing as magic, were useless, and the sailors couldn't do anything. That crazy green-clothed sailor was busy trying to stab the dragon in the face, and Tobi was babbling in its ear. Forming a hand sign, he expanded the three small statuettes he had made out of well-chewed clay. Two birds and a Moth of Unusual Size stood before him. Mounting up on one of the birds, the three forms took to the air.

"Tobi! We're leaving!" He called to his assigned 'partner', "Get on!" one of the birds flew over to pick up Tobi while the MoUS fluttered down the dragon's throat.

"Sempai! What about Green-san?" Tobi seemed worried about the pirate, who was doing his damnedest to burrow into the dragon's skull with that massive sword of his. He jumped the twenty feet to the bird easily.

"I'll be fine! Just go! I'm having the time...of...my...Life!" The last three words were punctuated by vicious thrusts at the more vulerable bits of the face: The two eyes...and the serpent's nose. The sword managed to stab into the nose, eliciting a roar of pain from the dragon...who dove down into the depths. Wild, roaring laughter could be heard, until the dragon dove. Minutes later, a long strip of green cloth floated to the surface, the turban, undone by the sea. The ship slowly slid beneath the waves.

Tobi, luckily enough, did not witness this, as he was already riding on to the far shore, now clearly visible. Nor did he really wonder when Deidara made the chakra pulse to detonate his clay MoUS. After all, Sempai was always blowing something up...

"Jiraiya, this is...worrying information."

"I know. What could they want on the far side of the Great Sea? There are no Jinchuuriki over there..."

"Four Akatsuki, though...it must be something important. Go across the sea, and see if you can figure out what they want. Hmm...bring Naruto, too. Continue his training."

"Yes."

A/N:Well, it's done. After much too long, and far too many rewrites of a small chunk that I kept losing, It's finished. Chapter Two is Here! Chapter three will probably come along sometime next week. The chapters seem a bit short to me, but There will never be an update of less than a Thousand words of Actual content. Believe it!