Title: Past
Pairing/Characters:Noah & Claire
Rating: PG
Summary: Prompt #10 of 20
Word Count: 1,014
"Whether you're sixteen, thirty-two or sixty-four-"
"When you're sixty-four-"
"I'll always be there for you."
I'd waited too long. His glasses rested on the rollaway table that drapes the bed. He looked very old without them, very wrong and I wanted to place them on his face. I refrained since he was sleeping. He smiled in his sleep which made me smile. I traced my fingers along the lines on his face. The worry lines, the smiles lines, the crinkles at the corners of his eyes. He looked so old and I, I still looked seventeen. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I continued to watch him sleep. I could tell he was in pain. The little twitches and the grimaces. My hand rests on his hand and I twine my fingers with his. He sighs and I lean closer to see if he was saying anything. The door opens and the fidgety old nurse finally leaves.
"Finally." I say pulling the syringe out of my pocket. I take my jacket off and prep the vein, having done this so often it's almost routine. I drew the blood effortlessly the whole disappearing as fast as I made it. I smile leaning up to inject my blood into his IV.
"Stop." The word is so low and whispery that I almost miss it. I smile looking down into his beautiful blue eyes.
"Nonsense, this will make you feel a lot better and you won't be dying anymore." I can't help but hear the warble in my voice as I say the last. I can't imagine a world without my dad.
"I... I don't want... It..." The slowness of the words meant he was really in pain, which meant he wasn't thinking straight. I smile and rub my thumb along his face.
"It's alright Dad, the pain will be gone in a minute." I turn my attention back to the needle when I feel the bed shift. He was sitting up slowly. His hand was already on mine as I frowned. "Dad, if I don't give you this then-"
"I'll... die... Which is the way it is meant to be..." I suddenly realize what he means and panic sets in.
"No! I can't lose... You have to let me!" I turn back to the syringe and prepare to push it, ignoring his feeble attempts to keep me from doing it. He's so weak it breaks my heart. I did wait way too long this time.
"Clairebear..." My thumb's on the plunger and I can't help but pause.
"Dad... I can't lose you again..." I look down as I feel his arm wrap around my waist. I should just disregard his pleas. He can kick my ass when he gets out of this horrible hospital. He pulls me to sit beside him on the bed.
"Clairebear, I was there for you when you were sixteen. I was there for you when you were thirty-two... You turned sixty-four six years ago and I was still here for you... I'm ninety-eight years old and you've revived me seven times..." He pauses as his breathing gets harsher. I have tears streaming down my face as I remember, perfectly, the day he'd told me something similar. I knew where this was going, but I didn't want it.
"Dad, I still need you..."
"No you don't sweetie, not anymore... You can take care of yourself now. Have for decades now.... I did not complain the last time because I was still keeping my end of the deal... I have seen you through sixty-four birthdays with the looks of the seventeen year old daughter I raised... I belong to the past Clairebear..." I throw my arms around him knowing he is right. He wants to pass this time. To finally die and it's killing me to watch it. I could still simply push the plunger in and argue about it next time around, but I wasn't so sure it'd be something we could get past. I couldn't wait another six or twenty years before seeing him again.
"Dad I am not ready to say good bye to you..." I think he's trying to breathe when I realize he's laughing. I find it odd when I have tears and fears of never seeing him again.
"You've had seven tries at saying good bye, Clairebear and you haven't been able to... I'm sorry, but this time you must... I'm a tired old man who's seen way more than I should have... I had to watch your mother die... I was able to see Lyle married with children.... But it's time for me to move on Claire... You know this..." I hug him tightly knowing I won't be able to watch it. Knowing that as soon as I let go of him I'll have to leave. I can't watch him pass... Having the hope that he's still alive somewhere might be enough, but I can't watch him die... Not when I have the means to keep him here with me.
"Dad..." I sniffle, pulling back looking into his eyes. His glasses are still off his face which is wrong. I reach behind me and grab them. I swipe at my eyes so I can see him better. I gently place the glasses on his face and then lean in and kiss each cheek. His expression is serene, resolute.
"You can say it Clairebear... You can... It's time..." I shake my head and place my hands on the sides of his face. Fresh tears blur my vision as I lean in and kiss his forehead. Shaking my head I let him go and stand up.
"I can't... Dad, I can't... I love you..." I look at him one last time and then turn and walk out of the room. I can hear his soft voice calling my name and it breaks my heart. It'll be the last time I ever see him even though I left the syringe with my blood in it. He won't use it. I cannot say good bye to him. I never will.