"Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family." — Chelsea Handler

"Be nice to his family. Pretend not to notice the way their house smells. Pretend to like their food. Mimic their barbaric customs at the dinner table."
― Laura Yes Yes, How to Seduce a White Boy in Ten Easy Steps

Venturing forth to Asgard's main palace had been a trip worth remembering. They had been met at the foot of their landing site by a small fleet of skiffs, which the guards manning them had efficiently moved all of Jane's gear on without Darcy having to lift a finger. Good service, and oh so very polite too. So once the boats had been all loaded up, the three of them (Thor was being a good host, he could have easily commanded wind and storm to get himself home faster) piled into an equipment free vessel and started their boat ride to the edge of Asgard's capital.

The skiffs were sleek and fast and nothing like the small boats Darcy had used in the bay during summer break as a child. At times they would hit a wave just right and go air born, almost hovering in the air, before landing smoothly. They didn't even get wet despite the choppy water and Darcy found herself disappointed in missing the feel of sea spray on her cheek as she sits in the bow and watches the city loom up before them.

The slips for the skiffs were obviously kept in a different area from Asgard's actual fleet of ships. While Darcy was still iffy on the exact location of Asgard's capital, she had to assume that any stronghold with an emphasis on great warriors and battles that had this much water surrounding their city would have an equally impressive navy.

Docking and unloading happened just as polite and quick as before. Thor had gone to oversee the transfer of Jane's equipment into a carriage for the last part of the journey to the palace, leaving Darcy to stand next to Jane on the side.

"You alright there, boss lady?" asked Darcy trying to sound flippant, but just coming off a little concerned. She wasn't sure, but the sudden paleness her friend was exhibiting could not be good.

"Next stop's the palace." Came the panicked and flustered response. Jane's hands twitched with the need to do something , but with Thor overseeing the equipment and the lack of cellphone service outside of planet Earth, she was a little out of luck.

"Ah, meeting the parents. Well better you than me. I'm way to young and good looking to die right now." That earned Darcy an actual glare and seemed to bring a little color back to Jane's face.

"Don't be ridiculous Darcy." She snapped back.

Darcy couldn't blame her for being a little on edge. She had googled the old stories about some of Thor's friends and family, and damn…she was glad she wasn't Jane if they were even slightly true.

"Ah, my ladies, it is but a short ride from here to the palace. Jane, dear one, are you ready?" asked Thor as he made his way to come stand with the two girls.

"Ride?" asked Jane latching onto any topic other than her 'readiness' to move closer to meeting Thor's parents.

"Yes, of course, I have two fine mounts for you and Darcy waiting for us to move out."

"Ride? As in on horses?" Jane asked again as she glanced down at her new wardrobe wondering how much damage she could do to her clothes in the span of a horseback ride to the palace.

"They are gentle mares, the both of them. It will take no great skill to ride them forth."

"Sweet! This is awesome Big Guy, I haven't had a chance to go horseback riding in years! Come on… let's go Jane." Thor laughed at Darcy's enthusiasm and motioned the two ladies towards the horses.

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While it wasn't that long of a ride to the palace, Darcy had forgotten just how many unused muscles it took to ride. By the time one of the guards helped her down off of her mare she could barely walk straight. She was going to be hellishly sore for the next few days if they didn't have some godly version of advil in this place. Jane looked even worse for wear and it was to both girls great relief when Thor told them they could go right to their chambers for the evening without having to do anything else. Thor had arranged for servants to bring them dinner and wait on them if they needed anything once he took his leave of them.

The chambers were the most lavish place the two of them had even seen-and this was after living near Tony Stark for a year-so that was really saying something. Both were too tired to take in more than the basics though, two bed chambers with their own bathrooms and a connected sitting room.

Jane was less than thrilled when she found out that she was sleeping alone and on the other side of the palace from Thor but there was nothing she could do about that other than give Thor one incredibly long and thorough good night kiss. Darcy, who knew from past experience that she had no desire to watch the two of them say goodnight, had made her escape to her bedchambers.

The bed alone was worth the trip there. A massive king-sized four-poster with the fluffiest pillows and bedspread she had ever seen awaited her. Ten minutes in the bathroom that would put a five-star spa to shame, a rummage for sweatpants and an oversized- T in her bags that had been brought in and she was on that bed dead to the world until the next morning. Not even Jane's knocking and dinner call had made her budge.

Morning dawned bright and clear. Darcy woke up to the sun beaming down on her face from the open window. Her magnificent bedroom looked a little like a fuzzy blur of blue until she was able to feel around the bed for her glasses. Only once she had finished the unpleasant task of escaping her warm comfy bed for the bathroom, did she realize two things. One, she hadn't asked for any painkillers after that horseback ride, and two, she was starving.

A long lavish shower later and she finally made her way to the sitting room. Jane was already sitting on one of the chairs, picking at an array of food that had been set out on the low table in front of her.

"You know you missed dinner last night?" Jane asked instead of saying good morning. "You must have been really tired."

"No. No. No. No." Darcy responded in genuine horror. "Are you telling me you couldn't find any way to wake me up for my first meal in Asgard?"

"It's just a meal Darcy; it wasn't even one of the fancy feasts things that Thor promised we could go to."

"Yes, but Jane the food here is mythical, as in literally spoken of in myth. I promised myself that I would try to eat as much food here as possible. And now you tell me I've missed a whole meal here. It's unforgivable. Oh, are those fresh berries? And cream? Fantastic, I'm starving." Darcy plopped herself down in the chair across from Jane and pulled the table closer to her. No time for proper table manners. She had to make up for lost time, after all.

A half hour later Darcy had assuaged her guilt over missing dinner with the breakfast spread and was now leaning back with her cup of tea. She did want it noted that the food was ballin' so far, but coffee needed to be introduced desperately. After Jane's hearty agreement on the coffee statement the two women got down to business.

"So what exactly is the blow by blow game plan here? When do you get to meet dear ol' mom and dad?"

"Three days from now."

"Three days?"

"Yes."

"Did Thor fail to give them the memo that you were coming into town?" she joked.

Jane frowned and thought for a moment before answering. "No, Thor's parents are well aware that we were coming. He had to get their permission and everything for us to even make it here. It's just that, um, I guess we're unsuitable to meet them right now?"

"Unsuitable? What the hell does that mean?" she was right, tea wasn't going to cut for this morning.

"Language Darcy, and it means that, Thor wants us to get used to Asgard a little before we have an audience with the king and queen."

"I'm going to need more details than that."

"You know, explore the palace grounds, see Sif and the Warriors Three again, get fitted out in some Asgardian clothes, and um, some quick lessons on manners." Jane scowled into her own cup of tea. No doubt she was thinking of the money she wasted on clothing that could have been used in her lab somehow. "Apparently, I can't just meet them the way I am this very instant."

"That doesn't sound like Thor, to me…He's never seemed to mind that you know, you're, um, from earth."

Jane forced a smile at her friend and nodded in agreement. "No, you're right, Darcy. We should just enjoy ourselves. It'll be fun."

"So breakfast is checked off, what's next for us right now?"

"A servant is coming to take us to get fitted for clothing. I don't see to many women around wearing slacks, well none to be honest and no shorts, and we'd probably start some sort of riot if we did. So maybe the clothes are a good idea."

"Not to mention really pretty."

That brought a real smile to Jane's face. "Well you got me on that. This place is simply divine."