A/N - Greetings! Wow! I am astounded at the number of views, favs, follows and reviews. You guys are the best! I can't express my appreciation adequately enough to be a part of this awesome community. I'm having such a great time. So thanks! A special shout -out to my serial reviewers gostopow, TorontoSun, hfce & Mouserocks-nerd. Thanks to the guest reviewer who wrote "So far this is just creepy enough to be addictive." This is so what I'm aiming for. This ended up being the longest chapter yet. Please enjoy! - GeekMom

The Castle Wall

Chapter 13

Roller Coasters Suck

Alexis hung up her phone and drifted over to Brooke's bedroom window. She looked down to the street and noted where the police cruiser was. She took in a shuddered breath and let it out slow. Her mind was all over the place. Gina was attacked, Dad was beat up, and what did he say? Unbalanced, threats, letters. Oh God. "I need to go home."

"What?" Brooke asked, "I thought you were staying."

"Yeah, something's come up at home. It was nice catching up, though."

"Well, okay, does this have to do with that phone call?"

"No, that was my dad, just calling to say that he would be late tonight." She lied as she gathered her stuff and headed home.

"Beckett," Kate answered her cell as they were on their way into the precinct. "Um, yes, Toby. Wait, what? Yes, escort her, please." She hung up.

Castle opened the door for her. He waved to the desk sergeant and pushed the elevator button. He knew better than to ask who was on the phone. If it was something to share, she would.

"That was Steve Toby, one of the unis assigned to Alexis." She watched him to make sure he was paying attention. He was. "She decided to go home instead of staying at her friend's."

He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose before remembering that it was injured. He winced in pain and added to the string of whispered curses emanating from his mouth. He shook his head and sighed. They got off the elevator.

"But why does she have to be so," he paused searching for the right word, "so damned contradictory. We just talked about her staying put. Just now. We just talked about it." He sat down heavily in his chair, put his elbows on his knees, and held his head in his hands with his fingers raking through his hair. Kate could see the stress starting to take its toll on him. He was dealing with a lot. She needed to get this case wrapped up and fast.

"Castle, the unis are taking her home, delivering her right into the loft and staying outside. She'll be fine."

He lifted his eyes and stared at her. "That's not the point." She wasn't sure if he comprehended what she was saying or not.

He sighed, deeply again. "I'm going to get some coffee, you want some?"

"Yeah," her fingers brushed over his as she stood, "I'll come with you."

They went to the break room and he set to making them both coffees but she made him stop. She turned him to her and embraced him. "Kate, someone will see," he started, but she held her finger up to his lips.

"There's no one here Castle. Now, just be still." He leaned down onto her accepting and returning the hug. They seemed to be frozen like that for an eternity until Castle drew in a trembling breath and Kate felt all the weight of the last couple of days resting on his shoulders. She knew that he was taking personal responsibility for all of it and no matter what she said, did, or showed him, she knew she would not convince him otherwise. Their eyes met and spoke a silent understanding. He turned back to the espresso machine.

"I forgot to ask, how is Gina?" She sat down on the arm of the black pleather couch.

He finished stirring their coffees and turned to hand the skillfully made brew to her. "She seems to be all right, considering. She is angry. Oh, she has a new," he pursed his lips, "friend. He was staying with her."

"How about you?"

"Me?"

"Yeah, you were in pretty bad shape yesterday. How are you holding up?"

The question annoyed him. His eyes sparked with anger. "How do you think?" he snapped. Guilt and remorse flooded his features instantaneously. "Kate, I'm sorry. I just…I just don't know what to think. I'm hurting. If I could get my ribs to stop aching, it would be great, but I can deal with the rest. I just need to take care of this. Kate, help me to end it," he pleaded.

She took his hands in hers and said, "Look at me, Rick." He did. "We are going to see this through and we're going to make sure that your family is safe. I promise." She squeezed his hands. At the sound of the elevator, he looked out to the bullpen. Esposito was back. Castle practically ran to meet him. Kate understanding his need to do something, anything, stood up, and followed.

"Got all of them Beckett. CSU documented them, but said we could watch them. No prints." He shook his head. "This psycho must wear gloves while she's in her fantasy land." He immediately wanted to pull his words back when he caught the look on Castle's face. Cop humor was just a coping mechanism to achieve distance from what they had to deal with everyday. It was harder to compartmentalize and separate yourself when your friend was the victim. Espo looked at Castle, "Sorry, bro, I uh…"

"It's okay, Javi. She is a psycho," he grinned at his friend, but Kate could tell it wasn't quite genuine. He was making Espo feel better. He always put everyone else's needs above his own.

"Thanks, man. Ryan is still canvassing. So far, they found where she does most of her errands. Looks like she mostly stays around there."

"Yeah, except when she's murdering people in my name…" Castle interjected and was immediately sorry. No one had said it aloud before. Patricia Stoddard had been murdering, assaulting and whatever the hell you would call the shrine back there. She was doing it to impress him. It made him sick. "Excuse me." He made his way to the men's room. Beckett and Esposito stared after him. Espo looked like he had kicked a puppy.

"Espo, it's not you. It's everything. He's gotten it into his head that he's responsible somehow."

"The dude looked green, Beckett. Do you think I should check on him?"

"No. I think he needs a couple of minutes to hash through things. Get the discs. Let's take a look starting with Thursday since things seem to have escalated then."

"You got it," he answered. He went to his desk to retrieve the box of discs, but stole a last glance toward the men's room.

That was close. He almost saw her. She couldn't let him see her, not like this. She hurriedly made her way out of the crowd. She glanced behind her. He was still searching the crowd. There were several cops headed into the onlookers. Oh, she thought, they must have spotted the person they're looking for. She decided to walk back to Martino's to ask them to hold her groceries, anyway. It did not look like she would be getting into her apartment anytime soon. The grocer was not far. She liked living in a neighborhood where you knew people. Richard would like it here too. She saw how much he loved people; by his easy way he'd talk to them. He looked like he really cared. She smiled as she daydreamed about him. The detective's face suddenly crashed into her fantasy. Patricia stopped and ran into an alley. She dropped the bags and thrust her hands over her eyes. She would not go away. Why was she still there? Why was she still with him? She needed to get her out of her mind and out of his life. She clawed at her face and screamed.

"Meess? Meess? Are you okay?" An older Slavic man was leaning over her, concern written in his wrinkles.

Patricia became aware that she was huddled between two dumpsters; she was squatting and rocking back and forth. She had blood on her hands. She considered the intruder. Had he hurt her? She didn't think so, although her face stung.

"Are you okay?" He asked again. She nodded. He patted her back and when he was satisfied, he walked out of the alley to his waiting companion. Both shook their heads and gestured back to her speaking Czechoslovakian probably commenting on the younger generation. She got to her feet, smoothed her clothes and picked up the bags of groceries. Now, what was she doing? She smiled, she was thinking about Richard, of course. She went back out to the street and continued to the grocers.

Castle contemplated his reflection in the mirror of the squad's men's room. Bruised, but not quite broken. What the hell was happening? He had to clear his head. He couldn't think about what she had been doing anymore. He had to get this solved. It was killing him. He would have been sick, if he had actually eaten anything today. As it was, he just lost some coffee to New York's finest plumbing. He bent down and splashed cold water on his face, regretting the act as soon as the icy water hit his nose. His sinuses protested and he closed his eyes against the pain. He grabbed some paper towel to dry his face, flinching at the 40-grit sandpaper that passed for toweling as he rubbed it across his injuries. He took a deep fortifying breath, balled up the paper towel, tossed it into the bin, and determined to get back to normal, he said, "Two points," as he exited the men's room.

He found Beckett and Esposito in the smaller conference room watching the video discs. He looked at the screen before he entered. It was his hallway. Another deep fortifying breath and he went in. "Anything?"

Beckett and Espo turned to him. Esposito shook his head, "Nope. Just a maintenance guy and your house keeper," he consulted his notes, "uh, Elisa?" Castle nodded.

"We started with Thursday of last week." Kate added. "So far, Alexis left then you and then Martha. We've been fast-forwarding through the empty hall shots. There was a guy waxing the floors, like Espo said and Elisa. Does she only come on Thursdays?"

"No, Mondays and some Saturdays, too." Castle looked up. He had just exited the elevator. He skidded a bit on the newly waxed floor and recovered. Espo snorted. "Hey," defended Castle, "They use high grade wax on those floors. I almost died." They watched as Martha and then Alexis came home and Castle left again. He pointed at the screen. "Yup, we went out to dinner on Thursday." He forgot himself and he said it a little more loudly than he should have. He looked around to make sure no one else had heard. The hall was empty again. Later, he and Kate exited the elevator, holding hands. He pointed out the treacherous floor and she rolled her eyes. They both entered the loft around eleven and with that; the entire Castle household was locked in for the night. Friday's video was similar except Kate was there; she left first, followed by Alexis and Castle. Castle was still getting dressed as he shut the door. Espo glanced sideways at him. "What? I was up all night writing."

"Is that what the cool kids are calling it now, bro?" Castle was indignant for Beckett's sake, but inwardly he chuckled. Martha didn't leave until after noon. More empty hall. Kate reached over and hit pause on the video player.

"I think I'm going to need more coffee, if I'm going to sit here and watch your hallway." She stood and stretched. "Anyone want one?" She asked as she grabbed her mug.

"Nah, I'm good, but thanks." Espo said as he also stood to take a break.

Castle said, "I'll come with you."

Beckett poured them both fresh cups, turned to him, and asked, "You better?"

Castle sipped his coffee before he answered. "Yeah, I just needed a couple to clear my head," he made a sour face, "and my stomach as it turns out, but I'm okay now."

"Good, glad to have you back." She said and rewarded him with a smile. It wasn't toothy or huge; it actually only barely curled her lips. It was in the way she looked at him: bewitching and dazzling and only for him. It always took his breath away.

He swallowed; his Adam's apple bobbing and said, "We should get back."

They walked back in to the conference room. Espo had resumed the video. They settled back into theirs seats in time to see Alexis returning to the loft only to leave with an overnight bag in another few minutes. Later that evening, Castle and Beckett came out of the elevator. They were talking.

It dawned on Castle which day they were observing. "Um, Kate, maybe we should fast forward." Too late. The video showed him kissing her socks off and leaving her dumbfounded in the hall. He looked at Beckett. "We can't let Gates see this."

Kate was weighing the options. "If it turns out to be evidence, we'll have to." Their eyes met, silently acknowledging what that might mean to their partnership.

Espo swiveled his office chair toward Castle, saluted him, and said "Way to go, bro! That was some kiss." He held up his fingers for Castle to 'feed the birds' which he obliged, but only after Beckett had turned back to the video.

"I saw that," was her only remark.

The video on Saturday showed both Castle and Beckett leaving at separate times in the afternoon and then Alexis coming home in the evening. Then nothing more for a few hours. Alexis came out of the loft around nine.

"I guess this is when I got home from the hospital." Castle supplied and sure enough, Alexis and a guy he didn't know helped him out of the elevator in moments. "Who is that?" He asked.

"The cab driver," Beckett said. "Eduardo told me that he couldn't help, so the cabbie volunteered."

"Bro, what were you saying?"

"I have no idea. Alexis said I was singing."

"Looks like you were really into it." Espo chuckled. "There's the cabbie leaving." Another person entered the hallway. Espo squinted at the monitor, "Who is that?"

Beckett and Castle watched as the figure slipped into his front door. She rewound the video and froze it as the person was entering.

"What the hell?" It was Castle.

"Alexis said that you seemed to be hallucinating after you got home. That you were convinced someone was there."

"Apparently my hallucinations are pretty substantial."

"Espo, see if this can be enhanced, let's see if we can get an ID."

"On it, boss." He took a screen capture and went to the printer.

"Afterwards, check on the fan mail detail. Castle, you okay to continue watching?"

"Yeah, Kate, but I have to wonder: who the hell the guy is? When did my apartment become all access? Oh God, I was out of it, anything could have happened to Alexis." A chill ran down his spine. He looked at her. "Kate, I don't know what to think." 'Why is this happening? And why is it happening now?' He thought as he absent-mindedly rubbed his jaw.

She reached over and held his hand, "Let's figure it out, okay?" She turned to resume the video, her mind also racing with the possible scenarios.

The video showed the same shadowy figure exiting the loft, still not a clear facial picture. They noted that he or she had nothing in their hands so they assumed it wasn't a robbery. The hallway was empty again until Kate entered after eleven. She hit the pause button. "Do you remember me coming in that night?"

"No, not really."

"Well, I got in and you woke up then you told me that someone was there. You insisted on it, actually. You kind of freaked me out, so I cleared the loft." She met his gaze to make sure he understood her. "I went back to the safe, got my gun, and searched. There was no one there."

"Thank you." She could have just written it off as a painkiller induced figment of his imagination, but she didn't and for that, he was grateful. For all of her eye rolling at his antics and her air of long-suffering, she took him seriously and at his word. She had proven it time and time again. They fast-forwarded the video through several more hours. Kate remembered that they all got up and moving later morning on Sunday.

"Castle, was that really only this morning?"

"I'm afraid so. Seems like it's been longer." He had taken his eyes off the screen to answer her, but she kept watching the video of the hallway played at three times the normal speed.

"Oh, here. This must be the second letter writer." She pointed to the monitor. They watched a man, who was dressed in jeans, a baggy hoodie, and a jean jacket, bend down, and slip something under his door.

"Do you think it's the same man from Saturday night?"

"The build is about the same. Maybe."

"The envelope from this morning," He shouted. The guy rose and turned to leave, but he did not turn around towards the camera. He walked down the hall to the stairway door. "Damn it," Rick said as he realized that they weren't getting a usable picture. The man stopped and turned around whether from a noise in the stairwell or for some other unknown reason, but he walked back to the door, something startled him, and he quickly turned back to the stairs and was gone. Martha got off the elevator, stooped to get the newspaper and unlocked his door. She bent over just inside, straightened up and continued. Kate rewound to the intruder and froze the image on the screen.

Castle and Beckett walked out of the conference room and ran into Ryan, who had just returned from the canvass in Patricia Stoddard's neighborhood. Kate called to him, "Hey Ryan, get anything?"

"Hey," Ryan looked dubious, "Well, we found out where she does all of her shopping, laundry, repairs and that she is well liked, quiet, never gets into trouble, pays her bills. No one knows where she is from, whether she has any relatives, or where she works."

"Get her financials, Kev," Kate ordered. "If she doesn't work, where does she get her money? I want everything."

"Maybe she doesn't work. Maybe maintaining that room is her job." Castle suggested.

"Yeah, well, I guess watching you is nice work if you can get it." Kevin kidded his friend.

Quietly Kate added, "I'll take that job." This elicited raised eyebrows from Ryan and a broad grin from Castle. She didn't usually join in the dark cop humor of her colleagues, but the look on Castle's face was well worth it.

"So we know all about where she lives, but not how and," she paused and looked directly at Ryan, "we don't know where she is." He shook his head. "Is there a team on her building?"

"Yeah, but we did a number on her place. CSU collected all of the evidence from that closet. She will know that we were there. There was this. I thought you should see it."

He held an evidence bag up to her. Inside was a picture of Castle and Beckett. It had been taken right after Mandy Griffith's murder. There were several red ink circles savagely drawn around her face. "Well at least it's not a red 'X'," she quipped.

Castle said taking the photo, "Unfortunately, I don't think we can assume that Patricia defines circles and exes differently. Hopefully, we'll find her before we find out."

"Yo Beckett." Esposito was standing in the doorway of the larger conference room. He was wearing evidence gloves. Castle and Beckett walked over to him. "Wait till you see what we found."

"What do you have?"

"A couple of the letters. Same MO anyway. We think they are hers." They both donned the blue evidence gloves. Kate took one and Castle the other. They read in silence.

Richard,

I am so excited. I bought you a gift today. I was outside of the city looking for knick-knacks for our place and I stumbled into a little auction. They had a wonderful writer's desk and I won. Oh, I guess that has let the cat out of the bag. I know you will love it when you finally understand that your home is here with me in our apartment.

I saw you in Connecticut last week. You looked very good, but tired. You are brilliant and you are mine. I am so proud of you. I saw you at a mall. You signed a copy of 'A Rose for Everafter' for me, but I asked you to sign it to Meredith. You made a funny face.

You always make me laugh. I am looking forward to the day when you will be with me always.

I read that you have started following a police detective for research. I remember your research for the Storm books. I am sure that you think that you need to do this, but please be careful. You are not aware of the traps that are laid out for you. All of those women, shamelessly throwing themselves at you.

Be strong, my love and if you need my help you only need to ask.

Castle finished his, composed himself, and waited for Kate to look up. When she did, they switched papers and read the other letter.

Richard,

I am still waiting for your reply. I received your newest photo. Thank you, but you know it is a poor substitution. I will wait for you. I have been for some time.

I understand how important your research is to you, but seriously, it has been two years. Why would you ever need to research someone so beneath you for two years? I can see that your skills are being used, but you are not appreciated there. They are taking advantage of you. You are too blind to see it. Especially that detective. Oh Richard, why do you have to follow a female detective? Can't you see that she will use you and toss you away? You need my protection and guidance. All you ever have to do is say the word and I can take care of your problems. I would do that for you. I would do anything. Absolutely anything.

You smiled at me in the line for 'Heat Rises' I really did research (your favorite thing) to find the name I chose this time. It was Millicent. I read that she was your mother's mother. I was standing near the end of the line of women who think they have a chance to destroy what we have and you started talking to people in the back. That was sweet, but again, you are spending too much time with other women. You need to stop. I did not want to reprimand you in this letter, but you can make me so angry. If you continue to see other women, I will need to take care of it. I cannot take anymore.

I hope you have a nice trip next month. I will watch over Alexis while you are gone.

Remember what I wrote, anything for you.

Castle sat down when he was done. When Kate finished reading he said, "It appears that these are earlier than the one we got in the latest and greatest envelope from Black Pawn. She is still saying that she using family names. That is the main thing that connects these letters, her copies of your books and back to her."

"Well, that and her fingerprints."

Kate looked at Espo, "She left absolutely no prints in that closet, but there are prints on the letters?"

"I know, right? It surprised us too." He indicated the rest of the officers sitting at the table.

"I think there are more." Rick shook his head. "It sounds like she followed me everywhere and we know it was years."

"Yeah and that creepy stuff about watching Alexis? Bro!" Rick stood up and left the conference room.

"Castle?" Kate called and then told Espo, "See if there are any others. It will establish a long and recurrent stalking case against her."

Espo just said, "Yup," to her, but the silent conversation asked if Castle was all right and she answered that she would take care of it.

She found him in the bullpen updating the boards. He saw her approach. "What I don't get is, Janet Marlowe. How does she fit in to all of this?"

"Are you okay? What do you need?"

He sat down in his chair and faced her, tight-lipped and angry. "No Kate, I'm not okay. I'm learning that my decisions regarding my fans may have cost me very dearly and that some stupid streak of luck is the only thing that has kept Alexis and mother alive. Every time I turn around I find out some other part of my life that has been violated or examined." She opened her mouth to protest, but he cut her off, "Oh, it's all a big joke. Remember? 'All of my fan mail is disturbing. It's an occupational hazard.' Said that cocky son of a bitch I was. People are dead because I just didn't care." His volume steadily rose in the rant until the entire floor was silent and listening to him. He looked down at his hands in his lap. He continued, more quietly, "I'm sorry. You want to know what I need. I need to finish this. Completely, without any doubt that it will come back and bite me in the ass ever again. I need to make sure everyone I love is safe. I need to make some definite changes in my security plans. Now, please stop asking if I am okay. I'm not, but we have to get back to work."

She inhaled, blinked and exhaled. She was desperate for him to know that she was there for him, that they would solve this together. Another breath and she said, "Okay, I get that it's been an emotional roller coaster for you. I'll stop asking, just know that I'm here, okay?" accepting his nod she continued, "Janet Marlowe. We might as well look more closely and see if we can come up with a connection while we wait for the financials on Patricia."

"Good." He stood and looked back to the boards, "and by the way, roller coasters suck." He bumped her shoulder.

A thought occurred to her, "Before we get back into this, we need to eat something." She suspected his irritation was partially fueled by his low blood sugar. "Let's go to Remy's." To say he was surprised would be an understatement. Beckett never thought about taking a break. He was normally the one to point out that the human body needed regularly scheduled refueling.

He breathed out a chuckle, "Funny, coming from you. Would you mind if I stayed here? I feel like I've almost got something, it's right on the edge. I'm trying to work it through."

Her face fell slightly, but she recovered. "The usual?"

"That'll be great!" He answered enthusiastically. Truthfully, he was not hungry. His stomach was still sending out 'Danger! Keep Out!' warnings, but he would deal with that when she got back. She grabbed her jacket and phone, brushed a swift, chaste kiss on Castle's cheek and wandered over to the boys to see if they wanted anything. They did a double take at the Beckett/Castle role reversal too.

Kate buttoned her coat against the steady October breeze. The temperature had dropped from earlier that afternoon and there were more clouds in the sky. The sun was hanging low. She had not realized how fast the afternoon had gone. Remy's was a short walk from the precinct and she was glad for the exercise. Her mind wandered over everything that had happened in the incredibly short amount of time this weekend. But there was the irony: it was happening quickly but at the same time, it had been going on for years. She tried to put herself in Castle's shoes. She could see where his self-berating was coming from. He was pretty loose, for a celebrity, in his public access. She couldn't count the number of times they had been out together and someone had approached him. He was always polite and gracious. It even happened at crime scenes. She chuckled to herself as she remembered one of the first scenes he described in 'Heat Wave' where a fan approached Rook at the crime scene. He wrote it almost word for word how it actually happened.

Kate arrived at Remy's a few minutes later and put her musings on hold. She pulled out the sticky note on which she had written down the boy's orders and along with it came a hundred dollar bill. She shook her head and smiled. When had he done that? Castle was conscientious about his friends' budgets and tried to take care of expenses like this whenever he could. She just could not figure how he pulled it off this time.

"Detective Beckett, where's your entourage?" Terri had been a waitress at Remy's for as long as Kate could remember.

"Working hard, for a change," she kidded, "That's why I'm here today. They need a reward." She placed the order and sat at the counter. Terri fixed her strawberry shake and brought it to her. She indulged in a daydream as she waited for their food. No cases, no stalkers, just a relaxing stroll with Castle on some un-named beach.

"Detective?…Detective Beckett" Terri smiled as she came back to the diner and the bags of food. "You were pretty far away. Nice trip?"

Kate returned the smile and wistfully said, "It was, but way too short." She handed her the hundred.

"Hmm," she hummed, "Castle's paying, huh?"

"Um, yeah."

"We got to get that man to carry a fifty when he comes here. I'll be right back." She went to the cash register for the change.

Kate thanked Terri with what she hoped would be a Castle-esque tip. She buttoned up and headed back to the precinct.