Erza thought she knew what she must look like based on Lucy's urging she take a shower. According to Gray, she had not gone on a job with them in weeks, (seven weeks to be exact, ever since he had died) and although Master Makarov had convinced her landlady to waive last month's rent to allow her time to grieve, she knew he could not do so again. Happy had resorted to bringing her fish to remind her to eat.
But she couldn't. She couldn't bring herself to care for herself anymore. She couldn't bring herself to take a job and pretend that someone wasn't missing from their team. It hurt to even think about their team, whose name they left unchanged in remembrance of him. It killed her to know that he was fighting beside her and that she no longer had someone she trusted to back her up. She couldn't bring herself to eat, remembering fondly all the times he had stuffed himself like there was no tomorrow, and realize that he would never do so again.
She couldn't drag herself to the guild, knowing it would be much quieter and less rowdy without him screaming insults, picking fights, and proclaiming challenges. She couldn't possibly face the rest of the guild when it was her fault he was gone. She couldn't bring herself to leave his house, never mind his room and hammock most times, which was all she had left of him.
She was drowning in a sea of darkness and despair, lost with no way out. Her friends could not help her. Only he could. He was her hope. Her bright light. Her shining knight. And he was gone, and she was gone with him.
Erza had believed him indestructible. Nothing had ever stopped him from what he wanted when he was on a mission. He always succeeded in achieving his goal. She missed his smiles. She physically ached at the thought of never seeing it again. Bright and wide and always present. As happy as the flying cat he had named. Excited and eager and raring to go. And despite his apparent cluelessness, he knew when to be serious. His willingness to protect and defend.
She wished for all these things to be possible again. But slavery had taught that wishes were useless, for they would never be granted. The false hope a wish for the impossible gave only tortured souls. As would this one, for no amount of wishing would return him to her.
Erza ignored her friends' desperate pleas and huddled into his hammock. She breathed in deeply, inhaling the natural earthy, ashy and woody scent that was his, for that was all she has left of him. His fading scent and her own memories.
xxxNatsuErzaxxx
The celestial wizard sighed deeply as she trudged home after another failed attempt to get some kind, or any kind or reaction really, out of Erza. Ever since he had died, she had remained laying in that hammock, clinging onto a hope that died a little more each day as she expected him to return and was disappointed each day.
Lucy found herself at a loss. He was the one who had brought her to Fairy Tail, which had become her home and family. The blonde owed him so much for giving her the chance to join the guild of her dreams, and she couldn't even help their friend.
She opened the door to her 70,000 Jewel apartment and surveyed it with large brown eyes. Did the room seem duller?
Yes, it was. Not in a literal sense. The blue paint on the walls was as bright as ever and her pink bedspread and colorful knickknacks certainly added a lot of color. The room was as bright and cheery as ever. But it wasn't as lively.
She imagined him sitting at her desk, rummaging through the drawers, attempting to read her story while teasing her. Lucy had not finished it yet, and now she doubted she ever would. Inspiration was lost to Fairy Tail's resident celestial mage. Who knew when it would return, for her muse, her team's excitement and adventures, was gone with him.
Tears sprung unbidden to her eyes. She regretted furiously snatching her manuscript from him. He would never know how the story would unfold because someone had ended his story far too early.
The blonde threw herself onto her bed, but this did not help. She remembered all the times he had snuck into her bed and slept besides her, claiming her bed was the most comfortable and that he got the best night's sleep there. She remembered how he always entered and left through her window, despite her (many) loud protests that he use the door like a normal person.
And that was the crux of the problem. He wasn't a normal person. He was extremely loyal and would defend his nakama to his dying breath.
Her wish that he was normal was halfhearted. If he were normal she would have never been accepted to Fairy Tail. Her chance meeting with him was the best thing that ever happened to her, all because he wasn't normal. He wouldn't let anyone besmirch the name of his guild.
She went to sleep with new resolve. Lucy would make sure Erza got back into the motion or real life, because without her people would begin to doubt Fairy Tail's strength, and he would never let that happen. So neither would she.
xxxNatsuErzaxxx
Gray Fullbuster stretched silently on the bank of the river, witness to many of their fights as children. The ice mage hated to admit it, even if it was only to himself, but he missed him.
He had lost many people when Deliora attacked his village. People he had cared for. His parents. Grandparents. An aunt that always pinched his cheeks upon greeting (something he had hated due to he extremely well kempt sharp nails). His two best friends. The demon had wiped them all out.
The black haired boy had promised himself not to feel attachment to anyone else, lest they make him feel again before crushing his already broken heart when they, too, died. His heart shattered a second time when Ul, his teacher who had become like a second mother and a sister, sacrificed herself to seal the demon because of a stupid mistake he made.
The creation wizard studied the river, flowing smoothly with the barest of ripples. Should the river not be a torrent, twisting and thrashing, trying to break free from the confines of the embankment like the fluctuating emotions bursting inside him? Why should the river be calm when he was in turmoil?
Even when they had fought when younger, Gray had never once believed that he was beatable, despite the many wins he professed to have over him. And yet it had happened. Someone had finally beaten him, (and not even someone but himself from what little they could get from Erza's incoherent mumbling), and with that destroyed what little heart he had remaining.
Gray cried for the first time since his mentor had died as he watched the sun set. The sky, normally so blue, seemed to bleed, turning shades of red, orange, yellow, and pink. It reminded him of flames. Dying flames, which would vanish forever, just like his brother did.
xxxNatsuErzaxxx
Master Makarov observed the guild hall over his tankard of ale. The hall itself was unchanged, but his children were not. It had been five weeks since his funeral and seven total since his death, but the loss of one of its own was hitting the guild hard, for his lack of presence was all too noticeable given the complete silence that covered the hall. Not normal at all.
The remaining members of his team rarely visited, only stopping by to grab the first available job, aside from Erza who never came at all. Come to think of it, Makarov hadn't seen Happy since the funeral. 'I wonder where that flying furball could have gone?' The old wizard shook his head and continued his survey of the dining area.
He noticed Nab, notorious for standing in front of the request board for weeks looking for the perfect job for him, had finally chosen one, and Fairy Tail's third guild master couldn't help but wonder if he would be screaming his victory to the heavens because his death had put an end to Nab's indecisiveness, or enraged he wasn't alive to witness it.
Cana was drowning herself in alcohol, as usual. She didn't seem to be upset. Although there appeared to be many more barrels surrounding the card magic wizard than usual, so maybe she was attempting to drink her sorrows.
Mirajane seemed to be operating the bar on autopilot, attending to her guild mates without the usual smile or joy. She only seemed genuine when she was comforting Elfman (who spent a lot of time crying because a real man cries when he is sad). But there was always a haunted look present in her eyes, similar to when their sister Lisanna died. Perhaps she the demon thought the situation would have ended differently if she had gone along. Maybe that was why she had requested to become an active mage again.
Team Shadowgear was currently on a mission. The team of three didn't seem very affected, but they had never spent much time with him so they didn't have close ties with him. However, Levy was worried about Lucy, and because she cared, by extension, so did Jet and Droy.
The old man had never seen Gildarts so crushed as he did when the S-class wizard had returned from three month long job with his standard souvenir and the rumors of a dragon sighting with a promise to go investigate only to find the boy he considered a son was dead. The crash magic user had cried and raged, completely demolishing one of the guild's walls, and then rushed to the cemetery.
Even his grandson was affected, which quite surprised Makarov because he was certain Laxus Drayer hated the "snot-nosed fire eating brat," being of the opinion that his flames had fried his brain. Maybe the boy's constant annoyance at his challenges wasn't as profound as it appeared to be.
Most surprising was Mystogan. He was unaware the secretive wizard had any ties beyond that of guild mates. And Makarov was quite sure that any relationship between the two would be known to all due to his mouth. So the question was why was the wizard always shrouded in a cloak that preemptively put everyone in the guild to sleep so as to go unnoticed so concerned by his death? As the only one to remain conscious during such visits, Makarov knew the two had never interacted, so why did Mystogan care?
The remainder of the guild was subdued and somber. While having no personal ties, the constant ruckus he caused was a never ending source of entertainment for them. Without him they seemed dull, lacking personality.
The two recent additions to Fairy Tail felt uneasy and out of place. Juvia had never even met him, but she proclaimed to love Gray and he was depressed. Gajeel Redfox had isolated himself. Makarov had hoped that the iron dragon slayer would develop close ties to the guild through Fairy Tail's own dragon slayer, but that hope was dashed with his death.
The old man felt lost. He considered him to be one of his children, like he did all members of his guild. But Makarov had believed their bond to be more personal, almost like a second grandson. Sure the boy caused him numerous headaches and mountains of paperwork and brought the ire of the wizard council upon them, but he had had the strongest heart and a will of fire so passionate it shone.
Natsu Dragneel was someone of the likes of which Makarov had never met before, and as tears slid down the sides of his face, once which he would never again encounter.
xxxNatsuErzaxxx
Natsu grinned with a combination of relief and happiness as he spotted the town of Hargeon's port on the horizon. A few more beats of his fiery wings, the pink haired mage landed on the awakening docks unnoticed.
He let out his breath in a whoosh, nearly collapsing. The sheer joy of being back was overwhelming. Natsu was so close to returning home. An hour's walk and he would be in Magnolia. He could already see the guild's large front doors before him.
The dragon slayer straightened and set off, the prospect of reuniting with Lucy, Gray, Happy, and Erza at the forefront of his mind.
xxxNatsuErzaxxx
Natsu soaked in the picture Fairy Tail made in the early morning. There were bound to be very few wizards actually inside at this time of day. With the largest smile he had worn since Igneel had found him, the pink haired dragon slayer pushed the door inward.