Author's Note: I survived the terror which is known as high school! Honestly, I don't know what the fuss is all about. Middle school was WAY worse for me. It was absolute HELL for me. Then again, I don't think most people who say high school sucked had to deal with immature, spoilt-rotten private school brats who practically get handed crap on a silver platter. I realize that might sound really weird considering I go to the same school as these people, but MY HOUSE IS LITERALLY FALLING APART so I'm pretty sure that I'm not really on the same level of richness at them. I don't really care, but I just thought I should mention that I don't have a thousand Apple products in my $4.3 million mansion. No, I am typing in my living room on my PC in the same spot that some drywall fell on my head last month. So, yup.

I'd be glad to go on about my day, but I'm pretty sure you're not that interested, so I'll just go on with this whole thing. I'm guessing you want a chapter. This isn't one. Ignore the whole thing that says "Chapter One" right underneath this sentence...

Chapter Four

Spencer groaned as she saw the light. She burrowed herself into Toby's chest the next morning, waking him.

"Toby, remind me to never go out with the girls, drinking, ever again," she moaned.

Toby rubbed Spencer's back, though he knew the pain was centralized to her head. "It's okay, Spencer," he attempted.

She groaned once more. "Please don't say that. I feel horrible. Can you just shoot me now and take me out of my misery?" she inquired.

"No," he answered.

"But—"

"No," he repeated with a laugh. "Come on, Spencer. I know what you need. What you need is a lot of water and food and no coffee. It'll just make things worse."

Spencer squeezed her eyes shut. "What do you mean 'no coffee'? You know how I get when I don't have caffeine!" she exclaimed.

"I know, but in order to cure the hangover, you're supposed to have a lot of water, and coffee only dehydrates you. You need food and water," he repeated.

She sighed before rolling onto her back. "Well can you, my beautiful boyfriend, please get it for me? I'm lazy and in pain and I don't think that right now, I can even remember where the kitchen is."

Toby nodded, kissing her on the forehead and getting up to get her water and food.

Spencer sighed before she rolled over onto Toby's side of the bed. His warmth was still there, and Spencer curled up in the sheets just covering his body.

Toby returned not five minutes later with two bottles of water and toast. "Eat," he commanded.

Spencer rolled her eyes, but complied with his attempts. She took a bite of the toast, but frowned.

"Spencer," he began in a warning tone. "Let's not have a repeat of my younger cousin Rose, okay? I'm not going to feed you this toast."

She pouted. "Not even for me? You won't feed me in my time of pain?" she asked with puppy eyes.

"Not even you. Rose had a fever. The poor girl kept waking up in the middle of the night, and all I could do was read her Hop on Pop over and over again," he said.

She pouted more. Toby rolled his eyes and finally gave in.

"Fine. You win. Open," he instructed. Spencer smiled as Toby fed her a piece of toast.

Fifteen minutes later, Spencer had finished her breakfast, a bottle and a half of water, and her hangover was starting to feel better.

"I'm sorry for being a bitch," she said finally once Toby returned from putting the dishes in the sink.

Toby lay down next to her, wrapping her in his arms. "What do you mean?" he asked.

She sighed. "I'm sorry for being such a handful. But I like having you around all the time. I like having you as company," she said, holding onto his hand.

He smiled. "I like being around you. And you don't have to apologize for being human, Spence," he insisted before kissing her on the temple. "And I have to tell you something."

Spencer turned to him, concerned, and on high alert. "What is it?" she asked.

"I have to go to New York for work. It'll only be for a couple of days; a week, tops," he announced.

She nodded slightly, but she was a little sad. "Oh. Okay," she uttered.

Toby took her hands, playing with them. "I promise to be back soon and call you. But this is a big offer that I can't pass up," he insisted.

Spencer nodded. "I understand. You should go. It'll be something different for you. It could open a lot of doors," she added with a smile. She wanted nothing more than for Toby to prosper in his job.

Toby kissed her on the temple once more. "I love you, Spencer."

She smiled in response. "I love you, too."

A day later, Spencer and Toby were engaged in the world's longest farewell kiss (and by far the steamiest).

"Are you already running late?" Spencer asked.

"What's late for you? Thirty minutes early?" Toby retorted before kissing her again.

She pulled away after a couple of seconds, feigning offense. "Hey! It used to be. And I don't want to be the reason you don't get this job," she replied.

Toby smiled at her. "My first meeting isn't until six. I have time," he said, gesturing towards the clock, which read noon, exactly.

Spencer frowned. "Well, then why do you have to leave so early?" she inquired.

"I want to make sure I get to New York, and I want to get settled, so it's not like I'm rushing to get to the meeting. I think you've rubbed off on me, Spence," he told her.

Spencer considered this. "Well…I guess I haven't been the greatest influence in that area. I mean, I know I was really anal-retentive about stuff like that," she supposed.

He kissed her on the cheek. "I love you. I'll be back soon."

She let go of his hand, which she hadn't realized she was holding his hand until the moment their fingertips were no longer in contact. She watched the door close before her, him leaving. She sighed. The rain tapping away at the building did not help her mood.

She settled knowing that Toby would be back soon.

She heard a tap at the door and walked over. Through the peephole, she saw Aria and Cassidy. She let them in.

"Hey, Aria. What are you doing here?" she asked.

Aria placed papers down on the counter, and she sat down on the couch, Cassidy looking all around. "Don't act so happy to see me," she began sarcastically. "I wanted to come over to talk to you about Cassidy's birthday. It's coming up soon. I'm so excited!" she exclaimed excitedly.

Spencer smiled. She looked through the mail. Most of it was junk, and also mostly Toby's. There were about two bills for her. She got to the last piece of mail and swore her heart stopped beating.

"Spence? What's wrong?" Aria asked, picking up on her best friend's obvious discomfort.

Spencer's throat went dry. "This letter," she choked out. "I-it's from Andrew," she said, putting it down.

"What? Andrew?" Aria asked for clarification. Spencer nodded numbly. "How did he find out you lived here, even?" she asked.

Spencer shook her head. She didn't know he knew anything about her anymore. She wasn't sure why, but this made her very scared.

"Aria, what do I do? I don't want any contact with Andrew. I haven't spoken to him or seen him in over a year. And now he just decides to pop back up?" She looked down at the letter nervously again. Quietly, she added, "Right when I'm the happiest I've been in my life?"

Aria gave Spencer a sympathetic smile. "Do you want me to read the letter and tell you if it's worth your time or worry? Do you want me to be here when you read it?" she asked.

Spencer nodded innocently. She took a deep breath.

Aria gave her a supportive smile.

Spencer reluctantly tore open the envelope, pulling out three handwritten pages. She gulped at the beginning. The first page was dated in the middle of March, or about eight months ago (as it was now November). It was around the same time that Spencer lost Brandon. Her heart broke a little still thinking of him.

Dearest Spencer,

I realize that I probably don't even deserve for you to read the letter. I've accepted that. But I just needed to get my feelings out, so regardless of whether or not you're reading this, I know that I needed to write it for myself.

I owe you a thousand apologies for all the pain and grief I must have caused you. You're an amazing woman and you never deserved me cheating on you. But I want you to understand that I didn't cheat because I didn't love you, or because I disliked your body, or anything like that. As carnal and horrible as it sounds, I just wanted the sex. None of those girls meant a thing to me. None of them held a candle to you. I didn't love any of them. I only loved you.

I also want to apologize for my drinking. I know it got out of hand, but I think you understand that a lot of pressure has been on me for so long. Especially with our new engagement, I just needed to find a way to take the edge off. I was stressed that I was messing everything up…for everybody. I was scared that I wouldn't live up to my family's standards, or your expectations. I should've realized that you would've accepted me, no matter what, because you loved me. And I loved you. I was so stupid for thinking otherwise. I was stupid for hitting you on occasion. I don't even have an excuse for it. I know it was wrong and horrible for a man to hit a woman.

But I'd also like to talk about the way you left me. Even though I know I hurt you a lot, I don't think it was right for you to have left in the way you did. You threw away my ring? You left Paris and you left the house, no words or letter or anything before you left. You didn't even tell me a word about our baby.

Another thing is our baby. I heard from a lot of people that you were pregnant. One of my friends saw you with Aria Montgomery, and they said you looked about seven months pregnant. You weren't even going to tell me? The baby is half my DNA, too. I feel like I should've found out from you that I was a father instead of from someone else. I can't guarantee it would change things, but I'd at least pay child support or help out where I could.

How is the baby? Is he okay? Are you okay? I'm asking because it's been on my mind every day for months. I can only picture you with a child, and each time I do, I remember what I missed out on. I'm so, so sorry for being an ass.

The next letter was dated in June, when Spencer had been seeing Toby for about two and a half months. Spencer skipped past all the formalities and went right to where her attention was called.

One last thing. How is the architect? What's his name again? I met him once. Another thing I heard from someone is that they saw you with that guy recently. You were laughing and talking and holding hands. One time, I saw you myself. You were kissing him. I wanted to run over there, but I had to remind myself that you weren't mine anymore.

Where was our child? Are you raising them to believe that he's the father? Spencer, you can't be angry at me for not being there for a child I didn't know existed. And you can't just raise a kid to think that their father is someone entirely different from the truth. It's not fair for anyone. If he wants to legally adopt our child, I'll contest the adoption. Did you even put my name as the father on his birth certificate or did you have Toby do that for you, too?

Spencer scowled at the accusation, feeling like a whore for Andrew even speculating that. Then she felt worse with Andrew talking with such contempt over their dead son.

And while we're confessing here, I saw you for who you really are. So maybe I'm not so sorry that I ever cheated on you. I just felt guilty that I was caught. I guess you can't say the same since I never caught you and Toby together in the act. You don't even have to deny it since I knew something was going on between the two of you. You were way too close to be "just friends". But I'm sure you were doing it for a lot more than sex.

Was the kid even mine?

Spencer took a shaky breath as she put the note down. She couldn't deal with the emotions it brought up—any of them.

Aria examined her. "What's wrong, Spencer?"

In response, Spencer brought over the letter to her, trading the pieces of paper with Cassidy as Aria began to read them. Spencer rocked Cassidy, craving the touch of a baby. After losing Brandon, though most people would find it scarring to be so close to a baby, Spencer found it healing. She liked having a baby in her arms. She liked being an aunt to Cassidy.

She heard Aria gasp. "Spencer, this is not good."

Spencer sighs. "I know. He doesn't even realize that…that…"

Aria cut her off before she let Spencer's emotions overcome her. "Spencer, don't. Okay? That ass is not going to screw things up for you now. Toby is not going to let him do that. You're not going to let him do that," she reminded her.

Spencer sighed, thinking about it. "I know, but this letter scares me. What if he comes back? Andrew is a spiteful, vengeful person when he wants to be. He seemed pretty upset from the tone of those letters," she speculated as Cassidy made tiny cooing noises and gurgles.

Aria bit her lip. She didn't know what to say to that. "What do you think? That he'll kill you, or something?"

Spencer's eyes widened by the sound of that, and she sat down to prevent her from fainting with Cassidy. "I just feel like I've come so far from my life with Andrew. I mean, I'm more independent and confident and just…proud of myself now. I don't need a man, even though I love Toby. Toby doesn't define me, whereas, Andrew kind of did. It was like I couldn't stand without him, and that's not healthy. Andrew didn't have any faith in me and Toby just pushes me further and further. But now that Andrew's back…I feel like he knocked me back like five spaces," she confessed, putting Cassidy down.

Aria rubbed Spencer's arm with a sympathetic smile.

Toby looked outside the window into the heart of the city as he loosened the tie around his neck. He smiled thinking of how much Spencer loved New York City.

"I don't know why, but I feel like that city is like my home," she'd say, smiling at the mere thought. "It never sleeps, and personally, I think that we have time to sleep when we die. That city is immortal. It just lives on and on and on. Sometimes I wonder how it's possible for the lights to shine so bright in New York City."

And then Toby remembered how he first realized he fell in love with Spencer. He remembered how he admitted it to her.

He had continued with his recollection of flying to Paris. "I was flying over the Atlantic Ocean when I had an epiphany—"

Spencer interrupted him, speaking finally. "An epiphany? Who even uses that word? It sounds so archaic," she said.

He scoffed. "Look who's talking, Thesaurus. Anyway, I had an epiphany. As I was flying over the Atlantic Ocean, seeing the light reflecting from New York City, I realized that those lights were only paralleled by the sparkle in your eyes. And I realized then that I loved you."

He remembered it perfectly. It was such a pivotal moment in their relationship. He knew he could never forget, and he thought of what Spencer would say if she were there now.

"This is the best view in the world," she would say. "You can see the lights, the water, the people…"

He'd interrupt her. "Well, it's almost the best view in the world."

She would scoff. "Really? What could be better than this?"

"You."

Spencer would smile and Toby would kiss her.

God, he missed her. He just wanted to share this moment with her.

He glanced down at his phone, contemplating calling her, but saw that it was already eleven-thirty and he would likely end up getting yelled at for disrupting her nighttime routine (which she was still anal about). He opted to send her a text message instead.

Spencer looked up from her book on his side of the bed and glanced at her phone when she heard it beep.

She opened the message and saw a picture of New York City in the nighttime, the lights all over the place. Her heart yearned for New York at that very moment. It was a safe haven free from ex-girlfriends and ex-fiancés.

She scrolled down to read the message.

I know it's a poor substitute for the real thing, but I at least wanted to show you your favorite city in the world. Good night (or good morning…depending on when you get this). xoxo.

Spencer smiled, thinking of how he was thinking of her.

I love you. And I love that city, but…I'll always love you more.

Aah! The bum is back! #HereComesTrouble, #UhOh, #IHateYouKayson, #ChanelAndAndrewStirrinItUp. #I'm just putting as many hashtags as I can. I actually tagged that as one of my posts on tumblr. I am also the originator of the #Jenna Marbles is A tag. It's so obvious that she is.

Girlz-Rule: Thank you!

Guest (Sarah): Yeah, I'd hardly consider myself as being someone who has several pearls of wisdom to share to the world, but for some reason, when I write stuff down, people think I'm a lot cooler than I actually am. Like, my old English teacher had no idea what I was trying to tell her or explain to her or whatever, and then I wrote it down and she thought it was the freaking Odyssey. And yes, Tiffany is awesome, but she's nothing compared to Selena Rose, my favorite reincarnation who the world has yet to meet. You might be able to meet her by June 2014, if you're lucky, but nothing's set in stone :) If that didn't make sense, don't worry, it wasn't supposed to. I'd fawn over this to you if I could PM you (but I can't since you're a guest :( ). She will start out a tame antagonist. I don't know yet the extent of her attempts to get Spoby to break up, but I wouldn't rule anything out with a crazy writer like me :).

Sunset13: I will delve into Chanel and Toby's backstory a little more in this story, and you'll learn especially why Toby was so affected by those three little words.

Capitol's Kisses: Hmm...maybe for like a lot of chapters? Ha ha! She'll stir stuff up. But you know what they say: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!

Spobyforever259: Well, Chanel is a sneaky, sneaky girl. I always kind of anticipated this, should I write a sequel (while I was writing Begin Again), and I intentionally left any mention of her out. It was always kind of in the back of my mind. I mentioned in one chapter in the last book that Toby hadn't had a serious girlfriend for quite some time...since college. See what I did there?

Spoby101: Um, well...I wouldn't consider her a slut, but...hm...I don't really know how to address this. And don't get mad at Toby. And Gatorade and Breakfast? Whaaaa?

Sylviecake231: I don't think Toby would ever leave Spencer for another woman. And I totally agree! Something that makes absolutely no sense to me is that we have to wait 5 months between parts A and B for a season, but we only have to wait like two months in between actual seasons. It's pretty stupid.

Spobyjohncenalover: He's not really convincing himself...rather, reassuring himself.

FabsirellaPrincessOfPopcornia: I like to keep it juicy and fresh...fluff gets boring after a while. I like drama, and anyone who says they don't is lying... :)

adebisi980: Well I hope you see this when you get back and enjoy it a lot!

Vexrll: Well, you're not supposed to, so that's perfectly fine.

elenabee: Oh, yes, this is great for the drama department and will CERTAINLY reopen some old wounds. She is a determined girl and I certainly sense a Mexican-Standoff moment between the two (and no, that's not racist because I'm a Mexican and I'm proud of it! Sorry, that's like a disclaimer since someone accused me of being a racist when I wrote that in a blog...like, what?). And Toby completely has her best interests at heart, so he will certainly wait until he thinks she's ready. Though, this kind of complicates things for him...and now her...

Vexrll: You probably don't go to school near where I do. I think my region of the US starts the latest (NY is later than pretty much all the South, which I know starts in August), and if you live someplace completely different, I'm not sure. I read To Kill A Mockingbird and it's a great novel. And I take it that you're a freshman as well...cool.

vondydora: I wanted to give everyone some fluffiness before I kill you all with angst. Sorry, I'm cruel like that, but I guess I'm also good at writing fluff. And I don't think Hanna totally realized that it was Chanel at the door, or she kind of just didn't really recognize her or anything.

glitterrain99: Thank you so much! I love writing for Spoby!

Alright, I really have to go, but maybe if I get 50 reviews to even everything out, I'll update soon! See you when I update next! -Kayson