Author's Note: First off, let me just say thank you very much for the lovely reviews. Unfortunately, as I'm starting school and having to do homework and all that good (read: horrible) stuff, I have less and less time for fanfiction, so you should probably expect less frequent updates from me since this marks the last pre-written chapter from me (Yikes!). I don't know when I'll get to update next, because very unfortunately for me, I'm having a bit of writer's block. (Double Yikes!)

And, as always, please check out my Fabrastings story! It looks so weird on my page next to Forget Me Not and Begin Again. It looks so sad with 10 reviews (but hooray for finally getting 10!).

Chapter Five

Toby woke up and peered out the window, reminding himself for the thousandth time that he was in New York City and Spencer was not there with him.

Two days ago, he could've sworn that she was there when he woke up.

Toby sleepily opened his eyes, the Manhattan sun greeting him. He groaned loudly.

His ears perked up when he heard Spencer's laugh from the other side of the bed.

"Someone isn't a morning person, are they?" she teased from across the room.

He squeezed his eyes shut, telling himself that he was hallucinating. "I'm dreaming, right? You can't really be here," he said, not sure if he was saying it to himself or Spencer…if she was really there.

She laughed again. "Of course I'm here, Silly. I'm standing right in front of you!" she exclaimed, and Toby looked up to see Spencer there.

Her porcelain skin looked flawless and Toby was reminded of how pretty she looked fresh-faced and sans makeup. She was wearing only a shirt of his. He felt a lump rising in his throat as she walked up to the bed, crawling on the pure white sheets so she was on top of him, her lips centimeters away from his. "Do you need me to prove to you that I'm really here?" she taunted, her voice going down half an octave.

He froze as Spencer ran her hand down his chest. "Um…no? Did you follow me all the way here?" he asked.

She sighed, shrugging. "Well, I wasn't planning on following you here, but after the first night, I started to get terribly lonely. I mean…there was nobody there to touch or hold me during the night. So I just took the next train here. I had to tell the people downstairs that we were married so they'd give me a key to the room, but…it was worth it, right?" she inquired with a smirk.

He nodded. Spencer took his hands and placed them on her thighs, guiding them up and down. His heart stopped for a moment when he realized she was actually wearing a ring on her wedding finger. It wasn't the ring she had when she was engaged to Andrew. He could've jumped out of his skin when he realized it was his own mother's engagement ring.

She brought his hands all the way up to her hips, making him fully aware that she really was wearing just his shirt. His breath hitched in his throat.

Spencer moved her hands to on top of his to his chest, keeping him pressed firmly against the headboard of the bed. "So…do you like what you feel?" she asked deviously.

Before she could get a reply, she kissed him. Her kisses were so amazing. Each one, even so many months after they first kissed, felt amazing. There was no loss of passion or anything like that as time wore on.

Toby woke up two hours later from his supposed dream. He couldn't shake the numbness his lips felt after being kissed by Spencer's. The other side of the bed was oddly untucked, though Toby was usually a pretty still sleeper.

Was Spencer actually there with him?

"Spencer? Spencer?" he called out.

There was no answer. The hotel room was void of life except for him. He kind of wished that she had, in fact, followed him to New York City.

Immediately, he came upon a solution to calm his separation anxiety, which would show Spencer that he really did miss her.

Thirty minutes later, after getting dressed and getting coffee (as strong as the barista could make it, which was still no match for Spencer's coffee), he headed over to his destination.

He looked at displays, trying to decide which would be the best. Finally, he made his decision.

"Is it possible to get this display in irises?"

Spencer stood near the window in the apartment, reading the card that was with the irises Toby had sent her while she was in New York.

She smiled at the thought. She placed the card down on the coffee table when she heard knocking on the door.

Hanna was supposed to be coming over, which made Spencer happy. She kind of loved being girly with her; getting all starstruck and tongue tied over their boyfriends. Hanna was still going strong with Caleb, and professed multiple times how much she loved Caleb. Spencer couldn't be happier for the both of them.

She didn't even check the peephole to see who it was. She just opened the door.

She could've sworn she felt her heart stop when she saw who was standing there.

"Andrew? What are you doing here?"

Andrew invited himself in. He didn't answer, but looked all around the room. Spencer crossed her arms, displeased with his BS.

"You're in my home, so you have to answer to my questions. What are you doing here?" she pressed again, this time more sternly and irritably.

"I just wanted to see you. It's been a really long time," he said.

She tried not to let her anger overcome her, but found it pretty much impossible. She let out a shaky breath. "Well, in my opinion, forever wouldn't be long enough," she mumbled.

"Are they here?" Andrew asked, ignoring her mumbling.

"Who?" Spencer snapped.

"Toby…our child," he said uneasily.

With hesitation, Spencer thought back to the letter, remembering that Andrew had no idea of the fate of their son. She realized he didn't even know whether it was a boy or a girl.

"No, they're not here," she said. She didn't mention that Brandon had passed away. As far as she was concerned, he didn't deserve to know anything about him. Her blood began to boil thinking about Andrew not being there. "And for the record, Andrew, you don't deserve to know anything about our son. He might be half your DNA, but that doesn't make you entitled to anything. You weren't there when…"

And even though he might not have been there for her half the time when she really needed him, Andrew could still tell when Spencer was close to breaking.

"How could I have possibly been there when he was born if you never even told me you were pregnant?" he asked softly.

Spencer let out a mangled sob, but then shook her head. "No…no, I can't have this conversation. You should really just…just go, Andrew. Please just leave," she said, turning away so he wouldn't have to see her cry.

Andrew still didn't understand. "Spencer, I don't want to be a deadbeat father, because one day, he's going to find out the truth."

Spencer shook her head furiously, still looking out the window. "No, Andrew, you don't understand. There isn't going to be a one day," she snapped.

"W—what do you mean?" he asked, still not connecting the dots. "Is he really not mine? Did you put someone else's name on the birth certificate?"

"Oh, for Christ sake—the baby is dead!"

Spencer recoiled when she finally admitted it. She leaned down against the wall with the window, sliding down to the floor. She didn't even try to contain the sobs which were coming out freely now.

With so many thoughts and emotions going through her mind, Spencer didn't even notice Andrew sitting down next to her. She only noticed when he reached out to take her hand and comfort her.

Spencer flinched a little, but didn't move her hand from his. She needed some kind of human comfort. And try as he might, Toby couldn't understand the same situation Spencer was in unless he lived through it like she did.

She realized with some kind of dread that Andrew was the only person who was in the same exact situation as she was when it came to losing Brandon.

There were no words, but Spencer let herself cry in front of Andrew, not really caring anymore.

Another thing she realized—and rather reluctantly—was that she couldn't keep up the façade that she never cared about Andrew. Though she tried so hard after their breakup to rid of any evidence he was ever present in her life, she realized that at one point, she loved him. Or at least, she had believed she loved him. He would always be the father of her first child—even though she tried hard not to remember his presence in her life, either. There was too much pain and guilt when she thought of Brandon; pain because of the horrific way she lost him; guilt because she felt there were so many ways she could've avoided his death.

Following his death, Spencer learned of the many, many ways she may have helped cause his demise. She kept a toy in his crib. She allowed him to sleep on his side or stomach when the recommended sleep position was on his back. She allowed herself to smoke after he was born, and was sure that while she never smoked right in front of him, he ingested nicotine somehow. She felt she didn't get enough prenatal care. There was a whole list of reasons she blamed herself. She would choose one or more at random to scrutinize for the day.

So for some reason, as she was sitting, crying with Andrew, she felt at peace. She felt like maybe she could finally move on from the past. Maybe.

But maybe there was another piece of her which would always be rooted in the past. She could certainly never forget those things that Andrew had ever given her.

"And that was Brandon when he was born," Spencer said as she handed Andrew a picture of her holding Brandon.

Andrew looked at the photo in amazement. Spencer smiled absentmindedly at the photo, just thinking of him.

"He was such a good baby," she began, thinking of holding him again. She could feel tears forming, but at this point, no longer cared. "He didn't cry at night; he just slept. And he laughed. And you could see how much he loved everyone."

Spencer could see Andrew was also on the verge of tears. "I'm sorry I never got to know him."

Spencer bit her lip. "I'm sorry for not telling you about him," she answered finally. "You at least deserved to find out from me. I mean…he was your son, too. But I was just so upset when he died. It's one thing to miscarry a child, but…it's another story when you give birth to him. You hold him…you get to see him smile…or hear his laugh…and then you get to fall in love. And then it's all just taken away from you," Spencer said, beginning to sob again. "Maybe, in a way, you're lucky you never got to meet him."

"Spencer, that only makes things worse. I'll never get to meet him."

Spencer sniffled in some kind of agreement. She tried to pull herself together, failing completely.

"Well…thank you for talking to me, Spencer. I'm sorry for just barging in here, unexpected, but I figured you'd probably avoid me if I called you," he explained.

Spencer nodded, avoiding eye contact with him. Also like old times, the thought of showing vulnerability towards Andrew made her stomach churn.

"Well…that's true. You should probably go now," Spencer insisted, not looking up at him.

Andrew nodded and sullenly made his way to the door. Spencer, not hiding her tears anymore, gathered photos and reminders of Brandon's short life and put them back in the box—which Toby didn't even know about—that she kept all his things in.

Toby looked at the irises, a few of which were sitting on what would be Spencer's side of the bed, the others in a vase on the desk in the room.

Toby thought of irises when he thought of Spencer. After all, irises symbolized inspiration, and Spencer inspired Toby to be so much.

He hated how much he missed her. He thanked God that he would be seeing her in another two days. He couldn't handle separation anxiety anymore; he simply wanted to hold her, kiss her, and tell her just how much he loved her.

I could really use some ideas because I'm very conflicted in which direction I'm taking this story now.

spoby equals awesomeness: Well how do you feel about him really being back? And this will cause some kind of drama (hint prologue) anyway...no, I did not just spoil anything. What? What? Okay, I'll stop now. I'm trying to throw you off. It's probably not working. Oh well.

Spoby101: Have you always had that avatar or am I just stupid? It's really cute! Love you too!

Guest (Sarah): The goal was for you to feel bad and then get kind of pissed. But also remember at how he has to look at things. He still thinks Brandon is alive (Exhibit A, the letters, Exhibit B, this chapter). I'm sure your stories are great. I would certainly read them and would be looking forward to PMing you sometime soon (hopefully). And my goal for this year is to finish a fourth story (which I'm not too far away from, considering this one is in pretty good standing for a third story, and it takes me about 8-10 weeks to finish a story). I'm also attempting a crossover (Enchanted, Fabrastings) of Glee. I have another one in the works, thinking of like this massive crossover with a bunch of PLL and Glee characters in a mutual location. I wish I could write more, but I'm a little bit over my head with other stuff.

Girlz-Rule: This is not the end of Andrew as we know it. And I might say yes, but he belongs with Spencer, and there's already this massive waiting list of people wanting to get him, so...

Spobyforever259: I guess that he figured Spencer was not only cheating physically, but emotionally, as well, which makes him feel very betrayed, whereas he was simply doing it for sex. In his mind, he was only getting what he felt he didn't get enough of with her, but his heart was still with her. Also in his mind, he thought that Spencer had fallen in love with Toby when she was supposed to be with him. And he sent it to her now because he feels like there's been enough of a mourning period for their relationship where he can tell her. He's been holding onto those letters for awhile and finally feels it's time to let her know how he feels.

Sylviecake231: I understand your frustration. The feels are going crazy now.

infinitydreamzz: When you're done playing catch-up, I'll be here...waiting...

FabsirellaPrincessOfPopcornia: My name is trouble...

Sunset13: Is Tanel really a thing? I've never heard anyone reference to Toby and Chanel in such a way. Do I have a secret group of followers that only people other than me know about? I'm so confused!

SpobyTreegan: The more I look at your username, the more I realize how much I would love it if Treegan existed IRL. Like, I get that Keegan's got a girlfriend and Troian has a pretty cool boyfriend, but still...ugh, the showmance. And of course Spoby. Spoby is the best ship ever, and I will ship Spoby 'till I die.

LynnLayne18: I've woven quite a complicated web to this, haven't I? I'm also really happy that I know how to write fluff since I've never ever done it much before this story (well, personal things, for my eyes only, but never published stuff online). And I go right for the kill. I dive headfirst into drama. And aw, shucks, I'm blushing. I think I'm hilarious, but apparently, other people don't see it that way. I guess you do! And it's not creepy. I realize that I kind of talk more about my personal life than I really should. If there's ever a day (and I remember that I had a really rough one writing my first story) that I right next to nothing in my author's notes or I just seem really dead when I reply to reviewers, it means either I had a really crappy day or I have NO time to write anything, but I still want to give you guys that update. Tiffany is the best. Not only do I love her name, but she's like Me/Selena (you guys will all have the pleasure of meeting Selena sometime in the near/distant future, I hope).

Sunset13: I still don't understand why you'd think that I'd make fun of it? It's a great start, and I'm always here to help.

elenabee: I always wonder what stuff would be like if A didn't exist. I don't think that the characters would be like the ones they are now if A and Alison never existed. If you think about it, I think they'd all be very different in their own regards. For example, I feel like Emily would be as sweet but maybe a little less timid. I mean, she was stifled by Alison and rejected by her, which I think made a dent in her confidence. Hanna, I feel, would be like Alison in some ways (assuming she didn't have the same exact past as the Hanna on the show). I feel like Spencer, however, would have the most dramatic change. If you look at that flashback Halloween episodes, she was pretty timid and nervous as a young girl, and I feel like it could've carried over into her adult life. She seemed kind of under-confident, so that's just my thought. And wait for it...wait for it (not telling you exactly what I'm talking about, but I hope that you'll figure it out). And Chanel...we'll definitely be seeing her again :)

Alright, so I'll update when I get around to finishing Chapter Six, but I have no guarantee or even estimate for when that will be. I'm up to my ears in stuff to do, and I'm a master procrastinator. Le sigh...

Anyway, so review, follow, favorite, and let me know what you think, please! -Kayson