Sorry about the delay, what with working and Christmas and eating too much my time has been short. I also needed to get this story all straight in my head but that is done now.

I own CSI DVDs and a CSI game but that is all.

Thanks for the reviews, I hope you all had a great Christmas and a happy New Year.

Chapter 4 - Reflections

January 29th, 1982.

I've just got back from the hospital, I have concussion and a black eye from "falling down the stairs". I guess I got in Dad's way, again. They started screaming at each other and I couldn't get to my room fast enough. Dad was stood by the door and as I tried to slip past him, he swung his hand out and caught me on my cheek. I feel backwards and that's all I remember until I woke up in hospital yesterday morning. I don't think he meant to hit me. I was just in his way.

I don't get why him and Mom stay together. They don't love each other, that's obvious to me and I'm only ten. Why stay in a relationship that makes you so unhappy. Mom's crazy, I would never stay with any man who treats me like that!

Mom made me lie to the doctors and nurses at the hospital even though she knows that I hate lying. She said I'd get taken away from them if anyone found out and that Dad doesn't mean t hurt me. To be honest, I'm not sure being taken away from them is such a bad idea. Dad always says that they've only argued since I was born so maybe they would get on better if I was around. And then I wouldn't have to listen to their screaming and shouting all day.

"When Sara was ten she got put in hospital by her Dad." Nick muttered angrily.

"What?" Catherine replied looking up from the diary she was still engrossed in.

"Her parents were fighting and she ended up with a black eye and concussion. And she blamed herself."

"Shit." Catherine paused for a second thinking about how she could never hurt Lindsey. "I didn't realise she had such a tough childhood." Catherine shook her head. "That explains a lot."

May 24th, 1982

Miss James asked me to stay after Physics today. I thought that maybe I had done badly in the test last week but it wasn't that .(Turns out I got full marks anyway!) She had noticed bruises on my arms while we were doing an experiment and wanted to know when I got them. I thought I'd been careful to keep my arms covered but apparently I wasn't careful enough. I lied, I seem to be doing that more and more now, and told her that I fell down. It didn't sound very convincing but it was all I could think of at the time. And the worst thing was that my brain was screaming "tell her what he does to you and she'll make it all stop" but I just couldn't get the words out. I wanted to, I really did, but when it came to it I just couldn't say it.

She asked me if there was anything I wanted to talk to her about and I opened my mouth and then closed it again finally saying "no miss".

I don't think she believed my lie but she seemed to pretend to. I just want it all to go away but I don't know how.

Brass entered the room followed by Greg and Warrick, the three of them sat down with Catherine and Nick around the table.

"I've got Sara's landlord coming in to be interviewed. I checked him out, he's got a record for sexual assault fifteen years ago and he had a key to Sara's apartment."

Nick looked up suddenly from the diary. "I met him while I was processing Sara's apartment. He's was really upset about Sara's death, I thought he was alright." Nick's judgement was shaken. The man he thought was 'alright' was a sexual predator. And could potentially be the bastard responsible for taking his best friend away from him.

Warrick clenched his fist in anger. "Excuse me a second." He said standing up abruptly and leaving the room. He stalked down the corridor until he found the locker room. He took deep breaths to try and calm himself down but failed and punched a nearby locker leaving a sizable dent in the metal front. He stretched his hand out and clenched it again seeing the ripped skin along the knuckles. He sat down on the bench, trying desperately to calm down.

Gil sat in solitude in his office, it was the first time he had been alone since this whole nightmare began. Images of Sara flashed in his mind.

"Are you awake?" Gil whispered in the semi darkness of his bedroom a few months before. It was mid day but Gil's lined curtains kept out much of the light.

"Yes, are you?" Sara replied before realising what a stupid question it was.

"Well obviously!" He paused for a second. " I was just thinking about what my life would be like without you."

"Well, there'd be no one here to ask you stupid questions at night." She said turning on her side to face him, she placed her hand gently on his stomach.

"My world would be empty without you in it. I don't know what I would do if I lost you."

Sara cuddled into him. "You're never going to lose me. I promise, I'll never leave you. I'm going nowhere."

Well that was one promise she didn't, couldn't keep. He thought miserably. And he promised that he would always protect her, another promise not kept.

Brass began the interview as the Sun first began to rise.

"Mr Sanchez, my name's Detective Brass, as I'm sure you're aware we're investigating the death of Sara Sidle who rented one of your apartments. Can you tell me how well you knew Miss Sidle?"

"I didn't really know here at all. What with her working nights. But she seemed nice enough whenever I did see her, polite, quiet, always paid her rent on time."

"When was the last time you saw her?"

"Er, last week, Friday evening I think. I'd been checking the boilers in all the apartments that day, saved hers for the evening when I knew she'd be up getting ready to work, didn't want to wake her. She was just on her way out. We spoke for a few minutes about the noise coming from one of the apartments nearby but that was it, haven't seen her since."

"Has anyone been hanging around your apartment block? Anyone acting strangely?"

"No, I don't think so. Oh, there was one guy, hanging around in the parking lot yesterday morning at about ten, ten fifteen, I didn't recognise him. When I walked back through about ten minutes later he was gone, I assumed he was meeting someone."

"Can you give me a description of him?"

"Yeah, he was in his sixties, well built, dark brown hair but with a few greys, he hadn't shaven. He was wearing dark trousers and a light blue shirt, and he was carrying a bag."

"What sort of bag?"

"A dark coloured holdall, about the size of a bag you'd take away for the weekend."

"Where were you between ten thirty and twelve thirty yesterday?"

"In my office. Why? Am I a suspect? I barely knew her."

"Can anyone corroborate that?"

"No, I didn't see anyone, if that's what you mean." He replied disgruntled.

"That's interesting, because you have a record of sexually assaulting woman, don't you Mr Sanchez. What happened? You thought you had a chance with her? Maybe you waited in her apartment for her to come home this morning and when she did, you tried it on but she said no, right? Beautiful woman like Sara, you wouldn't have stood a chance. Did you get angry? Decide to teach her a lesson? She said no so you raped her. Maybe you didn't mean to kill her, maybe you just went too far, and suddenly you had a dead body on your hands."

"You have absolutely no evidence to prove that I killed her." Sanchez said angrily.

"Not yet but if you did do it, then we will find the evidence to prove it."

"I didn't do it."

"Ok, Mr Sanchez, you've been very helpful. You're free to go, don't leave the country though, we'll need to speak to you again." Brass said, frowning at his new suspect.

"Look, I don't want to sound insensitive but when are you going to be done with my apartment, I need to get her stuff moved out, this is losing me money. She's hardly going to pay next months rent, is she?"

"Get out of here, Mr Sanchez, before I think of some reason to stick you in a cell for a few hours."

"Look, I'm just being practical, this is my livelihood."

Gil's phone rang, startling him out of his reverie.

"Gil Grissom."

"Mr Grissom? My name's Dr Burnley, I'm calling from Green Hill Hospital. I'm so sorry for the loss of your colleague."

"Thank you."

"I've informed Mrs Sidle of the death of her daughter. She has contacted her brother, a Mr Jason Reeves who is going to come to Las Vegas immediately. He should arrive tonight, I've told him to go to the police department when he arrives."

"Thank you." Gil repeated.

"Mrs Sidle wanted me to ask you to do everything to find her daughter's killer."

Gil took a deep breath. "I will. Thank you for calling, Doctor."

"What did you think of the landlord?" Nick asked as Brass walked back into the room.

"He was helpful right up to the point that I asked if he had an alibi, which he didn't, then he got very defensive. He did say that he'd seen a guy hanging around in the car lot just before Sara got home, I'll take another look at the CCTV later."

Greg slumped down in a chair. I have tried every method possible, we can't get any DNA from the semen sample Doc Robbins collected, I'm sorry." He looked resigned, feeling like he had failed Sara when she needed him.

"That's ok," Catherine said gently, "we still have the fingerprint and the bite mark. Once we find a suspect, we can prove it was him."

"We've got two suspects; the landlord and the mystery guy in the parking lot who may or may not exist. Gil thinks Sara had been home a few minutes when she was disturbed, so that suggests it was some that Sara trusted enough to let in."

"The missing ring suggests to me that it was personal, someone from the past who knew what the ring was." Catherine said.

"Could it not be an opportunistic theft?" Greg asked.

"No, there was plenty of other stuff that was ignored, cash, cards, cell phone... he didn't even take her gun." Nick said shaking his head. "And nothing else was disturbed, he must have known that she kept it in there."

"We don't really have much to go on, do we?" Warrick said, massaging his bruised knuckles.

"Nick and I have been going through her diary, nothing so far, but it's the only connection to her past that we have. If it's someone she knew then she must have mentioned him somewhere."

"Unless her neighbours throw up a lead, or something comes from the CCTV, then we keep with the diary, it's the only way we are going to find someone from her past." Brass said sighing.

"Alright guys," Catherine said nodding at the box of diaries on the table, "take a diary and note down any names that stand out." The three guy took a diary each and settled down to start reading, each feeling guilty for invading Sara's sacred privacy.

October 9th, 1984

I can't get the image of him out of my head, every time I close my eyes I see the pool of blood on the kitchen floor, the blood sprayed up the wall, even on the ceiling. The average adult male has ten pints of blood in their body, I think about eight or nine pints of his blood must have been spread around the kitchen by the time she had finished with him.

I don't understand why she did it, after all this time. Why not just leave him? I'm the first to admit that he was evil but how does killing him help. Now Mom will end up in jail, Dad will end up in a hole in the ground and I'll end up in some hell hole foster home.

She kept screaming 'I did it for you' at me as the police dragged her away but she's just made things worse. I never asked her to stick a kitchen knife in his chest, did I?

The social worker brought me my things today. I wasn't allowed back into my home to pack it up myself. There wasn't much, some clothes, books, Grandma's ring and my old teddy bear. Not much for twelve years of life. She couldn't even bring me all of my books, some of them had been in the kitchen when Mom flipped and now they're soaked in blood so the police took them as evidence.

The foster home is so noisy, it's full of horrible kids screaming and running around. It's worse than being at home with Mom and Dad screaming at each other.

"Oh my God." Greg said alarmed.

"What? Have you found a suspect?" Catherine said, her hopes picking up.

"No, no but Sara's life, it was just so, so horrific. I don't know how she got through it."

"What happened?" Warrick asked not sure whether he wanted to know.

"I think her Mom stabbed her Dad to death. And she saw it. She was only twelve. How do you get through that and then work around violence every day."

"Why would her Mom kill her Dad?" Warrick asked feeling like he was missing something.

"Her Dad used to beat Sara and her Mom up." Nick replied quietly.

"I'll find the case file on his death." Brass muttered.

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