Author's Note: I realize that last time, I forgot to put a beginning author's note, and then soon after, learned that you're apparently not supposed to do that. Oh, well. Deal with it. I know you guys love and hate me at the same time. Love me because come on...I'm freaking adorable. You can even tell even though I'm pretty sure most of you have never seen me before. And hate me because I basically have your heart in the palm of my hand and I like to torture you because I'm secretly a sadist.
Just kidding. But really, you do love-hate me. I KNOWS.
Chapter Eleven
Spencer was just about ready to meet Hanna for lunch when the doorbell rang. She was pretty surprised, considering she wasn't expecting any company.
She opened up the door, groaning when she saw her ex-fiancé.
"What do you want, Andrew?" she asked without any patience.
"I just wanted to know what you thought about the offer," he said persistently.
Spencer sighed. "The answer is no, no, no, hell no. I'm not going to have a child with you! If you want one so much, why don't you adopt? Or find someone who's willing to have a kid with you? I don't know. Andrew, I don't want to have a child with you. Yes, I got pregnant, and yes, I do wish that I never lost Brandon, but that doesn't mean I want to have another kid with you," she insisted.
"So what? Now you're scared to get pregnant? You need to face a fear."
"No, I'm not. I just don't want your child," she said bluntly. "And being pregnant is not like lightning—you're not going to get over that fear by being pregnant," she responded as-a-matter-of-factly.
"Spencer—"
"No, Andrew, you really need to leave me alone. I'm not interested in whatever you're selling."
"Selling? When did this turn into a business transaction?"
"I don't know. When did everything in your life turn into a business transaction?" she asked sharply. "Aren't you forgetting that that's when we started falling apart in the first place?"
He thought about it. Spencer abruptly pushed him out the door and locked it behind him.
Emily walked into Aria's apartment, finding it seemingly empty except for the little girl who was sitting on the floor, playing with some colorful building blocks.
"Hello?" she asked, confused.
Aria stepped out of her bedroom, fixing a long chain earring in her ear. She smiled at Emily.
"Hey. Thank you so much for taking care of Cassidy while I'm on this date. I just don't feel like I've seen Jason one-on-one in…forever," Aria explained with a laugh.
"Don't mention it. Both of you deserve it. You guys are doing such a great job raising Cassidy. You deserve a night out," Emily replied with a smile. Cassidy looked over at the sound of her name. She began crawling towards Aria.
Aria bent down and picked her up. "I'll see you later, Cass," she said before kissing the little girl on the cheek. "I love you!" Aria said.
Cassidy smiled at Aria before Aria handed her off to Emily.
"You've taken care of Cassidy before, so you know where her stuff is and the numbers and everything. I'll be back later," she added, but didn't move from her spot.
"Aria, you're going to be late! I've got Cassidy; I promise. We'll be fine," Emily insisted.
Aria gave a sad smile. "Okay. I just don't want to—"
"Go, Aria!"
Spencer sighed as Hanna pushed back a piece of her best friend's hair. Caleb quickly came over with water for the two of them.
"What happened, Spencer?" Hanna asked, her voice sodden with concern.
Spencer sighed once more. "I don't know what to say about it…Andrew wants to have a baby."
Hanna and Caleb's eyes nearly popped out of their heads. "With you? Is he out of his freaking mind?"
"That's what I said," Spencer replied.
"If he wants to have a baby, he could use a surrogate or adopt or get an egg donor or…I don't know…use Chanel or something. Why would he ask you that?" Hanna inquired.
"Maybe he thinks that it's subtly asking me if I'll break up with Toby and choose him instead," Spencer speculated.
Caleb finally spoke. "You already chose Toby over him. What makes him think that you'll suddenly change your mind?"
"I don't know. He's always been a little…arrogant," she explained.
Hanna put her hand protectively on Spencer's. "We'll all always be here for you," she reminded her.
Spencer smiled slightly. "I know, Han."
"Are you going to tell Toby about all of this?" Caleb inquired nervously. He had both of their interests at heart. Over time, he had grown to truly love Spencer, and Toby was his best friend.
Spencer bit her lip nervously. "I want to, but…I almost feel like I can't now. He didn't even tell me about Chanel. It makes me wonder if he realizes how deep we're in this relationship. I thought we told each other everything, but…I guess not…"
"Spencer, don't say that. You and Toby both love each other a lot. He was just scared. Believe me. I know this, as a guy…he made a mistake," Caleb said defensively over Toby.
Spencer contemplated this for a moment.
Aria and Jason both walked alongside through the dark Rosewood streets.
"Where are we going?" Aria asked impatiently.
"I told you it's a secret," he insisted.
She sighed. "I know, but the suspense is killing me here, Jason. Wait a minute, you're not bringing me to the woods to kill me, are you?" she inquired, only half-kidding.
"You're so morbid sometimes," Jason answered dismissively.
She laughed in response. They continued their slow walk down the dark block until they reached a grassy little space overlooking the water. It wasn't really a beach, but more like a riverbank. The mouth of the river poured out into the ocean, and skimming the ocean was the moon, which glowed a pretty bluish-white color, glowing in the dark, star-splattered sky. The reflection of the moon rippled in the water, and the light stretched all down the river.
"Wow. This is beautiful. How did you know how gorgeous this would look?" she asked, still in awe at the beauty of the scene. "I wish I had my camera…" she commented absentmindedly.
"We could just sit down and stargaze?" Jason suggested hopefully.
Aria smiled and nodded. She took his hand. "I like that Idea."
They lay down on the grass. Jason loved that Aria didn't really care about her hair or dress or anything like that; she was simple in those regards.
In his pocket, he picked out a particular object. He looked at it in his hand, examining the square cut sparkling stone. The moonlight caught it beautifully, making it glisten brightly. He looked at Aria's hand, which was in his. Absentmindedly, he placed the ring on Aria's ring finger. Aria finally figured out what he was doing.
She sat up abruptly, examining her finger. She was unsure about what he was trying to do.
"Jason…?" she inquired, hoping to get an explanation.
"Do you like it?" he asked simply.
Still confused, she nodded. "Yes, but…what is this?"
"An engagement ring," he answered plainly.
She sat, her mouth agape. "What are you trying to say?" she inquired nervously.
"I'm trying to say that it fits perfectly, and it's up to you if you want to keep it. We're pretty much already a family. Why not just make it official?" he asked. Though he seemed too nonchalant about all of this, he was just as nervous as any other guy, worried that she might reject him. But he had a lot more to lose.
Every passing moment of silence made him grow more and more nervous.
"It fits perfectly…" she commented, not really giving him an answer. "And it's beautiful."
He studied her, trying to read her expression. "So will you marry me, Aria? I know this isn't how things usually happen; you're supposed to date, then get engaged and get married, and then have a kid. But I guess we're different," he said. They both knew it was just idle talk, stalling for time.
"I guess we are different; we had a kid, then started dating, then got engaged and married, and hopefully will have another child or two," she responded with ease.
At first, he didn't realize what she had just said. Suddenly, he realized what she just implied. "Is that a yes?" he inquired hopefully.
She nodded before she kissed him.
It wasn't a typical engagement, either, but like the rest of their relationship, neither of them would change a single thing about it.
Spencer walked back in the apartment and saw Toby reading, seemingly on edge. He looked up, seeing Spencer.
"Spencer, we really need to talk," he insisted.
"I know. We do need to talk," she agreed.
He was surprised to hear her say that, but didn't let that distract from what he really needed to talk to her about.
"We need to talk about you. In this relationship, what I want is to be the person you come for for everything; I want to be the person to which you talk about your greatest accomplishments; I want to be the person you go to when you need someone to hold you during the hardest times; I want to be the person who you can talk to about anything. I don't want you to feel scared about anything in your life. You already know how much I love you, and nothing you say to me could change that," he insisted.
She let out a small sigh, wishing that those words were the absolute truth; there was no point in trying to argue since each argument was automatically invalid. "It's not that simple."
He sighed. "Has it been bothering you lately? A-about Brandon?" he stuttered slightly.
She looked at him, her brown eyes filling with emotion. "A little," she mumbled. "His first birthday would've been a few weeks before Cassidy's," she explained sadly.
"I want to be here to help you through that, Spencer. I don't care how much you cry in front of me. It breaks my heart, but I would do anything to help you because I love you that much. Helping you deal with your past is the only way that we can really move forward in all of this."
She nodded. "I know," she said before she sniffled, trying to pull back from tearing up. "But it's just so hard. I mean, as much as you may try, Toby, you could never understand this, and sometimes…it's just easier to forget about it until I'm alone," she confessed.
"It's not healthy to deal with it alone, Spencer. I don't want you to feel alone," Toby said.
She sat down, and he followed quickly in suit. She placed her head on his shoulder, tears flowing out freely now.
"I don't even know how I feel. Some days, I wish that I was never pregnant and none of it ever happened, but others…God, I just wished he was here. He was my son, and I loved him, even though he was only around for a few months," she explained.
He rubbed her on the arm, trying to comfort her. She closed her eyes.
"I just wish the pain would go away…but I know it never will. It sucks that I can never get rid of the emptiness in my heart."
He bit his lip, giving Spencer a kiss on the head.
"I wish that I could take your pain and give you my unconditional love in its place," he said softly.
I got that last quote from Vanessa Lengies. That was what she tweeted after Cory Monteith's death, and that quote just makes me feel all heartbroken but also kind of warm and fuzzy.
Also, a personal thank-you to Sylviecake231 for that whole using-Chanel line.
Sarah: I'm going to say something, and I hope you don't take this personally or anything (because from your reviews, I can tell that we'd probably get along irl), but I almost find it a little bit hypocritical (and it's not just you, I think some other people said this, too) that readers are so okay with Spencer looking at Toby's phone, but they're ready to shout abuse (almost...not quite...well...I don't know how to say it) at Toby for seeing the source of Spencer's pain. In essence, it's just about the same thing. Both of them are invading the others' privacy and being dishonest about it. I mean, eventually, they get over it and come clean, but you know, it started out the same. And um, you were right!
LynnLayne18: Aww, you're really too nice. But I mean what I say when I really see a lot of my own writing in yours, which makes me happy, but I really think yours is better. I'm too fond of purple prose for my own good, and a lot of my writing can get pretty redundant. And what I really want to do with this story and with all of my stories is keep it as real as possible. It really ticks me off when the two of them have a fight and it dissipates over like half a chapter. People don't get over it that quickly. At least, Spencer and Toby would not. They're both pretty stubborn (Spencer more so than Toby, but he can be stubborn, too). You're kind of reminding me about what the Calculus teacher said about Nicholas Sparks novels- they're unbelievably sappy and oozing romance, but they're very human and real. I think my writing is kind of like that, more so than some of the other writers on this site, except I don't think I have as much romance in my stories. Angst, I'd say. But still, the romantic parts are incredibly sappy. Sorry.
Spobyforever259: It's acting. Hmm, maybe she could be an actress or something. Maybe she could be like my bad reincarnate or something...she kind of reminds me of my primadonna, my homewrecker, the teen idle side of me...God, I need to stop taking ideas from Marina Diamandis! But thanks for that idea. And I sort of agree with you, but I also think it's somewhat better that Toby wants to know. Spencer realizes he cares a lot about her through this, and in the end, it's really not better to keep it all bottled up.
Girlz-Rule: I hope this was appeasing for you :)
BirdSingsBells: A lot of people, actually. Are you the same person with that avatar on the wikia? (I'm sorry, I don't remember your username, if that's you) I just wanted to say I'M SORRY that people are trolling all over the Spoby/Toby Cavanaugh page and attacking people like us. I mean, I know we're not martyrs, but STILL. Like, really, do you have nothing better to do than troll those pages? I'm not spamming the Ezria or Jaria pages or whatever ships they like. And if that's not you...sorry, I'm awkward.
mickeymack16: That reminds me, today as we were leaving school, our Bio teacher let us out like five minutes early (she just got engaged, and I think she was sort of on cloud nine for today...she tolerated more stupid than usual). This kid Ryan tells Trip (the smartest person I think I've ever met), "Trip, you remind me of a normal kid, but...Asian." And then Wesley, the other Asian kid (who claims he's not as smart as Trip because Trip actually studies and he doesn't) says, "You're like Super Asian." That's going to be his superhero nickname.
Sunset13: I'm sorry, but I was so confused throughout that entire review. Please refresh my memory so I can remember. What about one day? And what? I thought both your stories were AU. What? I'm confused.
Guest (Crazy Chick): Girl, I feels you. I gots ya.
SpobyTreegan: Yesss I'm fourteen, turning fifteen in March :) And Chanel might ruin stuff. Temporarily, at least.
AL3110: Al, you're spammin' up mah page. Quit spammin'. But continue theorizing, cause you might just get it right.
So I need to continue fangirling over various things: Spoby, Marina and the Diamonds, Catching Fire, Jennifer Lawrence...the usual. And I think I may be addicted to oreos. Did you know that they're as addictive as Cocaine and Heroin? What is in those? It kind of makes me scared.
But, yup, please leave me your beautiful, beautiful reviews, because they really brighten my day, which I will need tomorrow after I come home, probably half-dead from PE class.
And if any of you have any un-weird questions about me, I'd be happy to answer. And un-weird=not stalkerish. If anyone asks me where I live, what my street address is, apartment number, school I go to, any of that, I will report you and ignore you, because that's creepy.
So favorite, follow, review! -Kayson