Author's Note: I promise, I have a good explanation for not updating! Well...really, I don't sign a contract that says I need to update x amount of times per week/month/whatever, so I don't really owe you guys an explanation, but I feel like I do. Here we go.

Sunday, I have no Wi-Fi because my mom's house doesn't have it because her router is really derpy. Monday, I was at my mom's house in the morning, then I had to do homework, then I had to go to my music lesson (which was fun anyway, because my teacher is a doll), then I had to get food that I actually can it (and contrary to previous belief, there are a lot of things you can eat with 6g of sugar, I just wasn't looking in the right places. Then I had to do more homework (ugh, damn my chronic procrastination). Then, Tuesday, I was planning to update, but my mom came to my dad's house early, so I only got the chance to update my one-shot collection. And here I am on Wednesday, begging for your forgiveness. It seems that you guys have Kayson-withdrawals just as I have been having sugar withdrawals. I guess we're just like a bunch of peas in a giant pod.

:D

Chapter Nineteen

"So did you decide on roses or lilies?" Spencer asked as she walked through the florist with Aria.

"I think I like the lilies," she said.

"Spencer! You're avoiding the question! Why are you acting so weird?" Hanna called as they walked through the labyrinth of refrigerated display cases.

Spencer looked at the displays of lilies. "I don't know what you're talking about, Han," she said dismissively as she looked at some lily-of-the-valleys.

Hanna huffed. She turned to the petite brunette. "You see it, don't you?"

Aria opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, Hanna rolled her eyes and continued. "You're acting as though you're totally fine, but whenever I try to ask you how you are or how Toby is, you get all cagey and change the subject."

"I can actually agree with her on this one; Hanna has a point. You've been acting strange, Spence," Aria said.

Spencer didn't say anything as she looked at the different flowers. "There's nothing to say. He should be coming back on Tuesday, hopefully with good news on getting his architecture license. We need to talk when he gets home," she said as she looked at the calla lilies.

Aria pouted. "Spencer, don't you dare break up with him. You two are supposed to be walking down the aisle together! Hanna will go with Caleb, Tiffany is with her husband, and Emily is with my brother. Come on, this was perfect!"

"Aria, Hanna, you can all relax; I'm not breaking up with Toby. I'm trying to fix this. I really can't see us breaking up anytime soon…" she began, trailing off.

Hanna raised an eyebrow. Was there truth in what Tiffany had speculated?

"Are you trying to convince us or yourself?" she asked boldly.

Spencer spun around to face Hanna. "I don't have to convince anybody; I know what's true and what's not." She sighed as she looked at the flowers. "Aria, I'm going to need a solid decision on these flowers as soon as possible," she said.

Hanna groaned dramatically from behind Aria.

Spencer thought as she drank her tea and kept sorting through wedding details she had for Aria.

Of course, she couldn't concentrate because of the thoughts pressing in her mind. She couldn't stop thinking about how she and Toby couldn't seem to really resolve anything anymore. They were just ignoring their problems and it wasn't working.

She tried to go over Aria's guest list for the fifth time when she finally put her pen down. She glanced over at the friendly-looking Christmas tree, recalling how she had watched Toby decorate most of it, with her supervising and giving aesthetic advice.

It now served as an uneasy reminder that the holidays were coming soon and that they were nowhere near resolving their differences.

She sighed as she looked back at the long list of names.

Tiffany put her hand protectively over her stomach, rubbing it slightly. She watched as Emily's expression changed when she looked at the ultrasound.

"Wow," Emily uttered. "How far along are you?"

Tiffany shrugged. "Ten weeks? I think. The doctor isn't totally certain, but that's what we all think."

"I guess Cassidy is going to be getting a playmate soon," Emily said before handing her back the ultrasound.

Tiffany smiled slightly. "I guess so," she repeated.

Emily couldn't help but notice that there was something off about her today. "Are you alright, Tiffany?"

She sighed. "No, not really. I'm just really nervous about…everything. And just really aggravated," she added.

"You should try not to be. It can't be good for you or the baby."

Tiffany scoffed. "You sound like my mother, Emily. The baby and I will be fine. But I'm serious. I'm nervous about my friends and just being a mom. I'm aggravated with Chanel."

Emily furrowed her eyebrows. "Chanel…?"

"Do I need to spell it out for you, Em? Bitch crazy. You and I are both Toby's best friends; you know how either of us would do anything for him. I don't know if you realize how crazy and obsessive Chanel actually is, but I see it as a growing problem that's going to drive a wedge between the two of them," she said.

"I don't think it'll grow into a huge problem—"

"I think it already is a problem. And if Chanel drives a wedge in between Spencer and Toby, I'm going to drive a wedge up her—"

"Tiffany! Even if you're right, what are we supposed to do?"

Tiffany shrugged as she thought it over.

He couldn't sleep and he wasn't sure why.

He tossed and turned in bed, trying to think about the possible reasons he was so miserable.

In hindsight, it was stupid to leave things so unresolved with Spencer. But really, what was he supposed to do? He pretended that everything was alright between them, but in reality, it was hard to be around her after she rejected him. The more she reassured him that she simply wasn't ready to be married again, the more he felt as though she was overcompensating for something.

And he still felt kind of guilty for never telling her about Chanel in the first place. He led her to believe he hadn't had a serious relationship when they first met, which wasn't true (as his history with Chanel was solid proof).

He sighed, sitting up. After glancing out the window of his hotel room, he got up and went out into the balcony. The cold, early-December air was freezing on his bare skin.

He stared at the lights for the millionth time that day. Before, he didn't think much of them. Now, as he was confronted by the several million lights, the only things illuminating the night sky, he was faced with the same realization he had had several months ago. He thought of the only thing that could challenge these lights in their brightness.

Spencer.

He could feel them falling apart, like it was out of their control. He knew how much he loved her. He knew she loved him, too. But…they couldn't prevent the inevitable.

At this point, it was pretty much inevitable that this ended horribly. He knew.

It made him sad. He didn't know how to fix it. Everything seemed broken beyond repair.

Suddenly, he realized how at fault he was. Sure, he didn't have to take all the blame, but he was as responsible for all of this as she, if not more. Spencer had told him that she was the one who always ran. Here he was—how cowardly—standing in another state, while she had stayed for him. He was just running from his problems. Not courageous enough to face them.

He sighed, sliding down the façade of the building and sitting on the cold stone floor of the balcony. He looked out. There seemed to be no light at the end of the tunnel. If it was, he was facing it now.

This was it.

"Cassidy, Mommy is going to try on a dress right now. You're going to stay out here with Auntie Spencer, okay?" Aria said to the small eleven month-old girl who was sucking on her fingers. Even though she knew the little girl couldn't understand her, she felt a strange obligation to some explanation.

"You know she can't understand you, right?" Hanna asked from beside them.

Aria frowned. "I know, but…okay, I'm going."

The petite brunette disappeared behind some gray curtains to change. Hanna sighed as she absentmindedly flipped through some bridal magazines.

"Have you spoken to Toby?" she asked cautiously.

Spencer shook her head before a soft "no" escaped her lips.

Hanna would've delved further, but she could sense Spencer's vulnerability and discomfort with the whole situation. She just let it be.

Luckily, Aria came out mere moments later in her wedding dress. Both girls smiled as soon as they saw her. Despite it fitting incorrectly, she still looked beautiful in it.

The seamstress came quickly to take note of the alterations that needed to be done to the dress. Meanwhile, Aria trained her eyes on her daughter.

"Do you like the dress, Cassidy? Do you think Daddy will like it?" she inquired, anxiety hidden in her voice.

"You don't actually think that she understands you, do you?" Hanna asked again.

"I'm sure she loves it and that Jason will love it, too," Spencer said, answering for Cassidy and ignoring Hanna.

Hanna scoffed. "Jason won't care what you're wearing. He loves you, and once guys love you, it doesn't matter what you wear." She thought for a minute before her lips curled into a smirk. "Eventually, they just want to take it off of you."

"Cassidy!" Aria exclaimed, reminding Hanna of the little girl sitting right beside her.

"She doesn't understand me. And one day, she'll find out," Hanna answered as she looked over at Cassidy.

Aria looked down at the seamstress, who was getting up from adjusting the train. She gave her a cue, which meant that Aria could change out of the dress.

"Way to be appropriate, Hanna," Spencer commented sarcastically.

"What? I'm just telling the truth. Isn't that how you've always known me? This is just how I am around you guys."

Cassidy reached out for Hanna. Hanna quickly picked her up.

"Besides, I love being an aunt. I'm not like Aria and Tiffany; I'm not ready for kids just yet. I'm going to spoil my Clementine as much as I can," she answered while hugging Cassidy for good measure.

Spencer nodded as she thought about it.

"Are you sure you're okay to be alone tonight?" Hanna asked as she stood next to the door.

Spencer nodded. "Toby said that he's coming home tonight," she answered.

"I thought you said you hadn't spoken to him," Hanna said, confused.

"He texted me," Spencer answered evenly.

Hanna nodded slowly and skeptically before she left.

Spencer sighed as she made her way to the couch. She wasn't a huge TV-addict, but she did have favorite shows.

As she flipped through On Demand, she allowed her thoughts to roam, which was not exactly the wisest thing. Different TV shows triggered different thoughts, some worse than others.

A few TV shows later, she heard her phone ringing on the island. She already knew who it was. She let it ring, not thinking much of it. She burrowed herself deeper into the covers as she selected some murder show. The feeling of dread she got as she watched the show seemed normal by now.

About half an hour later, she heard keys in the door, attempting to open it. She was buried so deep under the covers that she wasn't concerned about anybody really seeing that she was awake.

She heard footsteps make their way into their bedroom. They got closer again, stopping a fair distance away from her, before turning around again and walking back into the bedroom.

She sighed, but decided to stay there. At least her relationship with the couch wasn't in shambles.

Addictedtospoby: You basically just compiled a list of stuff I love and can no longer eat. Well, except for the gum. My dad is addicted to Starbucks. And this is going to sound really racist (I apologize in advance, but I assure you that I'm not racist): are you white? I'm sorry, but I'm going to tell you a little story. Gather 'round, kiddies, Kayson has a story. Ahem, so I was planning on seeing that play I decided not to be in last weekend, and I asked my friend Julien (you remember Julien) when he was going to I could possibly see him again. He said he was going on Friday with a bunch of kids from his acting class, since Julien and like four people who go to my school (and were in this musical) are also in it. There was a really awkward situation with me and kid-who-shall-not-be-named and another girl in their acting class that I don't really want to delve into. Anyway, so I felt like I was unaccepted with them, especially because one day, Julien just called me and was like, "You started a major controversy among the people here at TTT." I'm like "WHAT?" and he just hangs up. Way to leave me hanging, Jules. Blah, blah, blah, flash-forward to now. So, I'm like, "Do you really think your friends will mind if I hang out with you?" or whatever Derpy Kayson asked him that night. He's like, "Yeah." I'm like (jokingly), "I guess I'm probably not that accepted among them," and he answered, "Well, you're probably right." OH, BURN. Like, really, what did I ever do to any of them. Yadda, yadda, that was the backstory (sorry, this is getting really long and winded). I'm talking to my friend about this whole thing, and my Asian friend is just like, "It's because you're not like them, Kayson. You're not white." Dafuq you taking about? As I have mentioned before, I am half-white (Russian and Irish) and half-Mexican. My Asian friend then goes on to say: "You're not white, Kayson. You don't wear hipster glasses and listen to crap music and go to Starbucks like everyday." Hmm... Well, this basically started the theory that white people go to Starbucks. I guess since I'm half-white, I prefer Starbucks to something like Dunkin' Donuts or someplace else, but I wouldn't say that I go there very often (unless I'm schlepped there by my dad...ooh, the Yiddish is coming out of me. This is when I start acting like a JAP). That was a really long tangent. Forgive me. *deep breaths, Kayson* I am attempting to write my first book outside of fanfiction. To be honest, I have the beginnings of 15 novels on my computer (I counted) and a lot of fanfictions based off of something of my own creation (so it's like a fanfiction of myself...he, he). I'm actually really proud of my fanfiction off of my own work. There's this series I came up with the concept for which I am REALLY excited about. It's kind of like a companion to Marina and the Diamonds' albums, but based off of my work. Maybe one day, you'll see ;) By the way, my friend Julien thinks you're cool.

Girlz-Rule: Umm...?

SpobyTreegan: No, all is unwell, but...what?

spobettes: I...I don't...I...huh?

eveningshades1107: I am feeling much better now, thank you. I'm not going to lie: it's still hard thinking about all the food I really can't eat anymore, along with seeing people eat the food I can't eat anymore. Sometimes, when I didn't have time to have breakfast in the morning, I'd get a bagel and orange juice at school, but now I can't do that. I also really miss my OJ, probably more than everything else, just because I used to love it so much and drink it every day. But wow, I'm sorry about your dad and your condition! I hope everything's alright and you're getting the right treatment. I know that it can be really heartbreaking to some women when they find out they're infertile (not that I'd really know...I'm 14, so I'm definitely not thinking about getting pregnant at this stage of my life). And...Part II ends with Chapter Twenty-Three. *nudge* Ezra (or should I say Ezbian) DOES act like a lesbian! Wow. #TheMoreYouRealize

Spobyforever259: Thank you, so much. it actually has gotten a bit better as of recently. It still kind of hurts when I see really skinny people who don't seem to give a damn about what they eat eating my favorite foods, but I'll be okay. I'm just glad that I went to see a nutritionist and am being treated PROPERLY and not doing anything rash. I used to have BED (Binge Eat Disorder), which was pretty bad, and I actually have contemplated bulimia before (but thankfully, I have no gag reflexes, so it didn't quite work). But I'm just saying it because I know this girl (who is, by the way, a healthy weight and is very active, so there's no real reason for her to be stressing about what she eats) who is harming herself so much. She's eating only like 500 calories every day. Most people live on a 2,000 kcal diet, so what she's going is actually quite unhealthy, especially considering how active she is. I try to tell her every time that it's unhealthy, but she doesn't listen! Anyway, thank you again for the support.

Guest: Thank you very much! I am already shipping Cassidy and Tiffany's baby, regardless of whether I decide to make them a boy or a girl. I don't care. Whatevs. #IShipDat And maybe we'll eventually see Spoby babies...maybe.

HFrischmon: I actually never really noticed that, but I guess you're right. Everything really does go around in circles (even my brain).

mickeymack16: I FEELS YOU on the homework and the studying bit. Oh, my God, I had so many things this week. Tuesday: Spanish test (it was mad easy, then again, I am Mexican, so...) Wednesday: Shakespeare test (and we were supposed to have a History test). Thursday: Latin test, English quiz. Friday: Health test, Math quiz, and History test (it got moved to Friday). I also have a Shakespeare project due on Friday WHICH I didn't even start, SO I'm a little tight. Oops. It's writing, and I write a minimum of like 6 pages every night, just for fun: this should be a piece of cake. So don't worry about it, I totally get it. School is horrible. That is the moral of the story.

cupcakecat2000: Uh, not exactly the same thing, but thanks...I guess...

vondydora: I understand. I've heard that college is a huge stresser. Do you mind if I use your idea for next chapter? Too late, I already did. But yes, you actually picked up on something I failed to do myself. I don't know if people realize this, but I don't quite plan things out to happen. I'm not as smart as you guys seem to think I am. I just do stuff on coincidence and it works.

Prettylittleliars-spoby: I understand your idea, but at the same time, what kind of story would this be if there wasn't ay drama to it? That's what makes it so interesting! I love the conflict.

bluebird10023: ON IT.

You guys as a majority left me kind of flustered. I thought I kind of clearly put the mystery to rest here about the pregnant girl from the last chapter: it's Tiffany. I'm a little bit flustered that you guys (and so many of you) didn't realize that it was Tiffany since I thought I made it kind of obvious. Then again, you may have thought Spencer was pregnant because of her little mood swings or...whatever it was that I gave her in these last few chapters.

I also kind of wanted to ask you guys if you'd like to meet Shane (AKA, Tiffany's husband, who we know next to nothing about). If you don't, sucks to suck because he's in the next chapter. You are all finally meeting him. Congrats.

And do any of you guys ever use that expression: sucks to suck? Or is that just a SIP-y thing to do? #Curious. -Kayson, the SIP, JAP