Author's Note: Yay! I finally managed to finish this chapter! It could also be because I'm at home sick and I feel horrible, but whatever!

You guys may or may not like me after this chapter!

Chapter Twenty-Two

"Tiffany, I really fucked up."

Tiffany, however, was very busy exchanging messages with her husband. She smiled at his reply.

"Tiffany!"

She snapped up, putting her phone down. "Oh, sorry, Spence. What were you saying?"

Spencer sighed. "I just don't know what to do with Toby anymore, Tiffany! Things used to be so perfect and we never even had to try, but now…everything is a struggle. Sometimes I don't even feel like it's us; it's everything around us."

Tiffany groaned. "Don't tell me it's those bums again. Are you really going to let Chanel and Andrew or some other bitch screw up what the both of you have worked so hard for?"

Spencer was taken aback by her brusqueness.

"I'm being tough on you because I care about both of you. Too much to let you just let this all go. It's not fair, I know. But you two are going to find out some way to make this work."

Spencer hung her head, somewhat ashamed at her own complaining.

Toby sat, staring at the sketch before him, which seemed to be mocking him. It didn't seem to be making any sense.

After a good fifteen or twenty minutes of simply staring, he heard a knock at the door, which was made of frosted glass. He was able to make out that it was Jason.

"Come in."

Jason entered, carrying some blueprints. He placed them on Toby's desk.

"Sorry it took me so long to give you back these prints. Aria keeps asking me about napkin colors and flowers. Be glad you're not getting married," Jason said with a sigh.

Toby's expression remained the same. Jason could tell something was wrong.

"What's up with you? Are you and Spencer still having problems?" he questioned.

Toby put down the pen he was playing with. "I'm going to tell you something and you can't tell anyone. Not Caleb, not Hanna, not even Aria. Especially not Aria."

Jason sat in the chair on the other side of his desk, indicating that he was quite intrigued.

"I kissed Chanel."

Jason couldn't believe it. "You kissed Chanel? Chanel you were going to propose to in college? Chanel, that heartless…bitch?" he asked.

Toby nodded, feeling guiltier by the second.

"Were you sober?"

Toby thought about it for a moment. He was pretty sure the answer was no, but there was always that one percent of doubt…

"No. Did you tell Spencer?"

Toby looked away from Jason. "No, I didn't. I haven't yet."

Jason sighed. "You've got to tell her and fast."

"I know but…I don't know how to. Especially after all she's been through with Andrew. This makes me just as much an asshole as him," Toby said bitterly.

"No, it doesn't. First of all, you were drunk. Most of the time, he was sober. Second, this is the ONLY time you have cheated on her. He had cheated on her more times than you have hair on your head. Third, while he slept with a thousand girls, you've only kissed Tiffany."

Toby looked discouraged. "I still cheated."

"But it was only—"

"I still cheated," he repeated.

Jason knew there was no point in trying to argue with Toby; he had already made up his mind.

"I need to take that test again. I need to tell Spencer," Toby announced.

"You haven't told her yet? Aren't you leaving in like three days?" Jason asked.

Toby shook his head. "Tomorrow, actually. I just haven't gotten to it. And I just found out for sure two days ago."

Jason thought about this for a minute. Without really thinking it through, he turned the phone on Toby's desk so it was facing him. He dialed a number quickly before putting it on speaker phone.

"Hello?"

Toby was startled when he heard the voice on the other end; it was Spencer that Jason had just called.

"Toby?" she asked, confused.

"Hey, Spencer," he answered, as nonchalantly as he could.

"Toby? Are you okay? You almost never call me from work," she said, the nervousness peeking out in her voice.

He nodded, only to realize she couldn't see him. "Yeah, I'm fine. But I needed to talk to you about something," he explained vaguely.

He quickly picked up the phone, to Jason's dismay, taking it off of speaker. Jason sighed in defeat.

"I need to go back to New York."

There was a pause which lasted for what seemed like forever.

"Oh."

The single word elicited from her pretty lips was laden with sadness.

Toby knew she wouldn't ask why on her own, so he answered for her. "I can take the test again in two days, so I'm going to go tomorrow. Hopefully, things go well this time."

Spencer gave him a fake half-laugh and he could tell. It broke his heart.

After another minute of meaningless explanations, Toby put the phone back on the receiver.

"Thanks a lot, Jason," Toby said sarcastically.

Spencer sighed sadly. She looked at her nails. Tiffany had left a while ago. Spencer lied and told her that she had wanted to get a drink or something which Tiffany couldn't have, but she just needed time to herself.

By now, it was already nine at night. She had been sitting there for hours by herself, just thinking. She didn't want to go back home. She didn't even know where that was anymore. She just felt like a nomad or a gypsy. There was no longer a solid place to call home.

She still couldn't figure it out—how did things get so screwed up?

"You've been sitting here for a really long time."

Spencer looked up from her mild coffee to see a dirty blonde with blue eyes wiping down the booth in front of her.

"I can leave if you need me to," Spencer insisted, though she had no intentions of moving.

She girl shook her head. "You can stay. It's fine by me. It's kind of nice to see someone in here. It's so empty. It kind of makes this place feel like…a failure."

"It's just a little diner in a small town," Spencer reassured her.

"I guess you have a point," the woman agreed. She looked at Spencer's table. It was empty except for her cup of coffee. "Please, let me get you something other than that ice cold coffee."

Spencer pursed her lips. "I'll take a Black Russian or a Bloody Mary," she answered dryly.

The woman sat down across from Spencer. "I can tell something really crappy happened today. You can tell me what it was."

Spencer sighed. "I have a boyfriend, who I love so much. But I messed up so much last night. I got drunk last night and acted like a slut and basically threw myself at my ex-fiancé. Now, I found out that he has to go to New York for the second time in like two weeks. I'm worried that we're going to break up. I love him too much for that, but I…I don't know what to do," she confessed.

As she said it, she felt some sense of relief. It really felt better to tell someone.

"Okay, I get the impression that I'm missing a lot of this story, so you should probably start over. I'm getting the impression that there's something with your ex, too. What's his deal?" she asked.

Spencer sighed. "He was cheating on me with everyone while we were engaged. My boyfriend knew for a while that he was scum but…I wouldn't believe him. Finally, I saw for myself and broke up with him. Then, my boyfriend and I got together. Things were so perfect until my ex had to get back in the picture. And…"

"And what?" the blonde asked, intrigued.

"And his ex-girlfriend came back, too."

The blonde sighed. "Oh, God. Don't tell me about the exes." She looked Spencer over. "So why are you here, sobbing to me about it? Shouldn't you be talking to your boyfriend?"

Spencer sighed. "I want to. You have no idea how much I'd like to tell him everything."

"So then why don't you?" the girl asked, her blue eyes blazing. "Sweetie, believe me when I say that I know it can be hard to put everything you love on the line; I've lived it. But if you love him and he says he loves you like I think he must, things will work themselves out."

The girl tried to look at Spencer, who was staring at the table and trying to avoid Alison's gaze. Spencer knew it was no use, since the diner was basically empty besides the two of them.

"I'm just scared because I cheated on him. I kissed someone else."

"…And?" the girl inquired, looking for more.

"And I cheated on him!" she exclaimed.

"All you did was kiss someone else? That shouldn't even constitute as cheating, especially if you were drunk," she said, attempting to persuade him.

Spencer sighed. "I still feel like I betrayed him, and in the worst possible way."

The girl thought for a moment. "Well, I know you didn't ask for my advice, but I'll give you some, anyway. I think you should go home and tell your boyfriend everything that's happened. I'm sure he'll understand." After a moment of hesitation, she went on to add, "He's the boy who brought you flowers when you went on a date here, right?"

Spencer looked up, confused. "How did you know that?"

"I remember seeing you a while ago. I knew you looked familiar. And your boyfriend? He's pretty cute, too. And sweet, he must be."

Spencer nodded. She turned the bracelet on her wrist. "He is," she said dreamily.

"Girl, you need to go home to your boyfriend and make up with him, right now. Just now, you went to your happy place, talking about him. Go," the girl ordered.

Spencer got up from the booth, suddenly encouraged by the blonde. She was just about to leave before she turned back.

"Hey, who are you anyway? I don't think I've ever seen you before," Spencer said.

"I'm Alison," the girl responded simply, her blue eyes sparkling slightly.

Spencer thought for a minute. "Alison? Do you own this restaurant?"

Alison just gave her a smile.

He felt blocks being thrown at his legs. He looked down at the little girl, her dark brown waves spilling right near her shoulders.

"What should I do about this?" he asked.

In reply, she fumbled around with some of her blocks.

"I'm trying to think about it. What do you think your mother would do?"

She whimpered by his feet, continuing to play. She looked up at him, offering him a block.

"Did she ever tell you that you're a really good listener?"

That made her smile slightly. He was pretty sure that babies just knew sometimes.

"We'll figure this out, Cassidy. Or they will. But if they don't, you'll find a way to get them back together, won't you?"

Cassidy gurgled happily in reply.

I'm just going to put this out there generally: I count a kiss as cheating, but I think that if someone is willing to work past whatever problems they have with their significant other, things can be worked out. That was just my general note.

I also find it funny that you guys were so pro-Toby in Begin Again and now you guys are all pro-Spencer. I'm over here like, "Aah...I'm pro-Spoby!"

Addictedtospoby: That's cool. What about in school? Do you live in a French part of Canada or a more English part of Canada? I'm curious :)

eveningshades1107: Call me Lucifina and I will wear that title oh-so-proudly. And eh, I don't like turkey that much, so I'll take your heart. Cannibalistic, maybe, but you offered.

Caligirl28: I could deny it if I liked. I could deny anything if I liked.

Guest: The human mind isn't a terribly logical or consistent place. Most people, given the choice to face a hideous or terrifying truth or to conveniently avoid it, choose the convenience and peace of normality. That doesn't make them strong or weak people, or good or bad people. It just makes them people.

Girlz-Rule: Perhaps you notice how the denial is so often the preface to the justification.

AL3110: A man who denies his past is a man who truly denies himself a future, for he refuses to know himself, and to deny knowledge of oneself is to stumble through life as handicapped as a blind mute.

HopefulSpobyShipper: Delay is the deadliest form of denial.

Guest: Was it possible that I was, in the modern term, in denial?

Guest: We're all drowning, but don't say it out loud.

SpobyTreegan: The thing about denial is that it doesn't feel like denial when it's going on.

bluebird10023: If you believe everything you feel is an illusion then you're delusional. Your emotion is part you. You're made with it. Denying it and thinking it is all in your mind is denying your existence.

vondydora: Now I know. It's in Europe across the sea or whatever from Italy, right? What language do you speak? I don't know why, but I am so fascinated by all of my reviewers, especially ones who live in countries where they speak different languages and they seem to have such a good grasp on English (since it's one of the hardest languages there is). I looked up pictures of Bosnia and Herzegovina and it is beautiful. And also: Few love to hear the sins they love to act.

mddymarie: Denial is not just a river in Egypt.

Iheartspoby: If there's one thing I learned in Alanon, it's that you've got to face the music because it just grows louder and louder when you ignore it.

Vexrll: What?

Spobyforever259: FINALLY! Someone on the same wavelength as me when it comes to Andrew not being a complete ass! He didn't take advantage of Spencer! Can't anyone commend him for that?

Pearls of wisdom. I just gave you all pearls of wisdom and you better freaking remember them. You all got a pearl of wisdom from me. You're welcome.

I hope you're not too terribly pissed at me from this chapter, but I think that you'll like me a lot more really soon ;)

I like reviews. Those are nice. Also, please check out The Second Chance by LynnLayne18 if you aren't already reading it and REVIEW because she deserves it and I like her and I don't want her to give up on that story. Please. Do it for the Kayson. -The Kayson