Day Nineteen: Formal Wear

(I kind of already did formal wear, so I changed it to 'Wearing their Sunday Best')

Cas begged Dean all week, and as soon as Dean said yes, he was non-stop talking about it. Cas wanted to go to church on Sunday, and while he was excited for it, he wasn't too sure Dean was.

He watched as Dean put on his Sunday Best, dark dress pants and a white button down, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Cas wore khakis and a dark blue button down.

Cas scooped up his Bible off the bed and turned with a smile to Dean, "Ready?"

Dean nodded, "After you." He swept his arm out before him. He followed Cas out of the room and Cas noticed him looking back at the bed. Hopefully Dean would enjoy himself; otherwise, Cas would feel really bad.

Cas rambled on and on as they walked to the church. He wondered what the scripture was going to be. What was the pastor like? Would there be a lot of people? Would they sing contemporary songs amongst the traditional hymns?

While he wondered out loud about what hymnals he wanted to sing, Dean held up his hand, "Cas…Cas, listen…Castiel!"

Cas stopped, his mouth hanging open mid-word. He snapped it shut and looked down to the ground. Dean rarely used Cas' full name. When he used it this time, it was like a sharp dagger to the heart. He was angry and Cas felt ashamed.

"I know you're excited, but could you like, take a breath in between sentences? Please?"

Cas tried to smile, "Yeah, sorry Dean. I haven't been properly worshipping the Lord and I felt bad about it and I can't wait to become close to him again and-"

"Cas…you're doing it again."

"Oh, sorry," he said with a chuckle. "I think you'll like it. If you don't, you won't have to come with me again."

"We'll see Cas."

Cas studied Dean's face. Why was he so against going to church? "Dean, why are you so weary of going to church with me?"

Dean sighed, "I don't know, it's just…how can there be a good God if he took my parents away from me and left me and Sam to take care of ourselves?"

Cas thought about it. He honestly wasn't sure what to say without getting Dean mad. The answer that people usually give is 'Because it's all part of God's plan', but people hate hearing that because it's not a concrete answer.

"You're probably going to hit me upside the head when I say this, but He does everything for a reason. I know, I know…you've probably heard that line a million times, but just think about it, okay? There is no for sure answer; it's what you make of it." Cas shrugged, hoping Dean would understand.

Dean was quiet and didn't say anything else the whole way to the church.

When they arrived, people were filing into the wooden doors, taking pamphlets from ushers. Cas smiled and shook each of their hands. He was positively glowing with excitement. Dean just gave a small smile and pushed Cas along.

"Cas, your angel is showing." Cas whipped around and felt his back, eye wide with terror.

"Not your wings, idiot," Dean scoffed.

Cas let out a sigh of relief, "I'll let you know, I can't be held accountable for my angelic reactions today." He chose a pew in the middle of the sanctuary and slid in to let Dean sit. Dean rolled his eyes at Cas' words.

"Say, will I ever get to see your wings?"

Cas' eyes flicked to Dean's. His heart raced and his mouth became dry. To be honest, he wasn't sure if he had wings anymore. He was becoming more human each year, but he felt there may be some juice left to show Dean someday, "Perhaps, but now's not the right time." He looked around the room to make sure no one was watching.

It was a small church, but all the pews were filled with smiling, joyful people. Cas' heart leapt with excitement. He loved seeing people so cheerful for his Father.

The front of the church had a small stage with two podiums, an alter with candles and an old Bible, and a piano. A painting of Jesus with a small flock of sheep was painted on the wall behind the alter. The church had a homey feel, the dark wood giving it a comforting air, and the smell of old Bibles and coffee calmed Cas. Cas was as close to Heaven as he could get.

An older woman started playing a song on the piano, and the pastor walked down the aisle behind a little girl who held a staff, a flame flickering on the end. She lit the candles up front as the pastor took his place behind the podium.

As the girl sat down he cleared his throat, "Good morning everyone! So many people here today, a few new faces I see." Dean fidgeted next to Cas. "Well, no matter new or old, we welcome you all. Are there any announcements to be made today?" The pastor scanned the room and a small, plump lady stood up. She held out a clip board and began to read off the events for the month.

Cas was able to hear about a spaghetti dinner and fundraiser for their mission trip, before Dean elbowed him.

"What?" Cas hissed.

Dean pointed to an event for this morning, "What does 'take time to greet one another' mean? Do we have to get up and…and hug people?" Dean looked horrified, and Cas had to bite down on his lip to hide his laughter. He patted Dean's leg and turned his attention back to the plump lady. Dean growled in annoyance.

The announcement finished and the pastor began to speak again, "Let us bow our heads to pray." Cas bowed his immediately, but he chanced a glance at Dean and saw that his attention was elsewhere. He jabbed him with his elbow and Dean hissed in protestation. He bowed his head too, but Cas doubted he was praying.

Moments later, the pastor ended prayer time with 'amen' and announced it was time for meet and greet. Everyone stood up and people started shaking hands and hugging. Dean groaned next to him.

"Come on Dean, come say hello with me." He tried pulling Dean up, but he refused to move. "Dean, please?" Finally, Dean stood up and Cas went over to the first group of people he saw.

"Hello," He held out a hand, "My name is Cas, this is Dean. It's our first time at this church."

Everyone in the group ignored Cas' out stretched hand. Instead, they brought him in for a hug and introduced themselves. Dean hung back, an awkward smile on his face.

"Well aren't you mister social," Dean whispered as they sank back into the pew.

Cas shot him a look, "Dean, come on, be nice. These people are friendly, harmless, they wouldn't hurt a fly."

"Yeah, just wait until they find out we're more than friends." Dean thumped back against the pew and crossed his arms over his chest.

Cas glared at him and opened his hymnal to sing the first song. He couldn't sing properly though, his mouth felt like cotton and his throat constricted. Would people at this church really be that rude and uncaring towards their love for each other?

When the song ended, the sermon began.

The pastor looked out over the people of his church, "God's love," he began, "What is it exactly? Is it the way a mother dog protects and raises her puppies? Is it the way a friend helps you through a difficult time? Is it the marriage that binds two people together, forever? Is it the way He gives us life and people in our lives to care for and to care for you?" He paused, "In case your still wondering, it's all the above; all the above and more. God's love is infinite. There is not one definition of his love, there are many. The love a friend shows to another is different from the love a mother shows a child or the love couples share. It is also far different from the love God has for us."

Cas glanced at Dean. He wondered what Dean thought of this message. Would he understand that God loves us no matter their preference in men or what has happened in their lives?

Dean's hands were now resting on his lap, loosely folded. Cas chanced it and he slipped his hand in Dean's. Dean jumped a little at the unexpected contact and he tensed as he looked around. If anyone noticed, they didn't seem to care. Dean loosened up and squeezed Cas' hand and they turned their attention back to the pastor.

The rest of the sermon was more examples of God's love and what it really means. He examined a few contemporary songs and scriptures, breaking them apart, like an English professor teaching his students how to analyze poetry.

By the time the service ended, Dean and Cas were still holding hands. They joined the members of the church in their "Bind Us Together" song, though they didn't know it. It was nice, everyone holding hands and singing this song together, God's love flowing through everyone.

When everyone let go, Cas kept holding on to Dean's hand. "Thank you for coming with me, Dean. It meant a lot."

Dean smiled and pulled Cas closer. "No problem," he replied, "And you know, if you ever want to go to church again, I'll-uh…I'll come with you." Dean rubbed the back of his neck as his cheeks reddened.

Cas beamed, "Really?"

Dean chuckled, "Really." He pulled Cas in for a hug and a kiss on top of his head.

"Um, excuse me?" A small voice came from behind them. They whipped around, a bit embarrassed.

They both froze. Would they be scorned for their actions? The woman who was demanding their attention smiled at them. Her long dark hair was in a half pony tail and her eyes shone brighter than her smile. She held her hand out to them, "Hi, my name is Shanna, is this your first time to the church?"

Both boys were stunned in silence for a moment, until Dean stepped in and spoke for them, "Yeah, yeah it is. It's a, uh, lovely church. Very nice…people, and stuff."

Shanna laughed, "It's a crazy group of people, that's for sure. I was actually coming over here to ask you two something," she announced, nervously.

"Sure," Cas said, welcoming her question.

"Each year we have a VBS, a Vacation Bible School, and I'm a bit short staffed this year. I know this is the first time I'm meeting you and it's a bit awkward, but would you two like to help? I need someone to manage the games and someone else to teach a lesson for the whole week." She watched their reactions, hoping they wouldn't find it intrusive.

Cas lit up, "I would love to help with the lesson!" Cas looked to Dean who was weary, "But…um, I'm not sure if we'll be able to. We're just kind of checking out different churches…" Cas' heart sank a little. He would really like to help, but he wasn't sure Dean would want to.

"Oh, well that's-" Shanna began.

Dean shifted next to Cas and interrupted her, "We'll help. How bad could running games be?" He nudged Cas and smiled at him.

"Really, Dean, you'll help?"

Dean nodded, "Of course, when does VBS start?"

Shanna smiled, "Next week! Oh thank you so much! I was running out of help. This is great. I'll give you the church contact number and mine in case you have questions." She wrote down the numbers on a piece of paper and handed it to Dean.

"Thanks," he said.

"No, thank you!" And with that, Shanna turned and was lost in the crowd.

Cas couldn't stop smiling on their way home. He was ecstatic that Dean was more comfortable with church.

"Okay, so, I guess it wasn't that bad," Dean said.

Cas nudged him, "I'm glad you liked it. I'm also surprised you volunteered to help with VBS. All those kids running around and driving you insane. You think you can handle it?"

Dean huffed, "Of course I will! You think you'll be able to tell a Bible story without correcting everything little thing they get wrong?"

Cas blushed, "Yes…I hope so."

Dean laughed and slung an arm around Cas' shoulders. They discussed the sermon they just heard the rest of the way back to the apartment. Cas was hopeful; Dean seemed happy with what he heard today. He hoped that the church wouldn't let him down. He felt like he finally found a place where both of them could fit in and where Cas could make friends.