Here we get a point of view that's long been waited for.
Song for this Chapter: Blower's Daughter → Damien Rice. I've always loved this song ever since I did a choreographed dance to it years ago for competition. When I came across it randomly while reading this chapter, I knew it was perfect. :)
Chapter 49: Ignoring the Laws of Gravity
In the last chapter...
Romeli had another training session with Numair. he gave her a second chance, considering that she crashed and burned in the previous training session. During the duel, she felt increasingly motivated knowing that with each day she was growing stronger. During the duel, when Numair attacked her with Dark Magic again, Romeli shielded it powerfully (something that Numair stated was not possible with a Gift). Numair became enthusiastic, stating that what she has just used was not her Gift (he could not sense it), and didn't seem like plant or wild magic. He cut off the training early to research.
During dinner Romeli sank down into a deep depression again because she was around James. Once again, she fleed during dinner, unable to hold herself together.
At the gazebo, she was relaxing when Ryoku came up to her and asked her what was going on. She said she couldn't say anything, because she didn't want to endanger her friends. Besides, they wouldn't understand anyways. Ryoku let it go but asked her what was going on between her and James. When she said James' name, Romeli immediately broke down. It was then that Ryoku extracted the information that Romeli was scared of him and for him. She was scared because of what she had been through with D'mitri and the fact that she didn't know how to love anymore. She didn't want to get hurt. But she also said that that wasn't the only reason. Everything was connected.
Then she confessed to Ryoku that she feared that her time left...as well as James'...was coming to a close. She knew that if she failed, James would certainly die, and she couldn't handle it. She collapsed to the ground, broken and numb. Moments later, she got physically sick, unable to contain her emotional and physical suffering.
Ryoku told her that she had to let her friends in. She had to let them know what was going on so that she could share the burden. What she was going through wasn't healthy, and Ryoku told her that if she continued this way, she would fail. It was the exact words her Guardians had told her a day ago.
The chapter ended with Romeli completely torn between protecting her friends by keeping them away, or protecting them by putting them in danger with what was to come.
"All that the downtrodden can do is go on hoping. After every disappointment they must find fresh reason to hope." - Alexander S.
The morning air was cool, a representation of the Fall easily settled over Corus city. The smell of oak and dewey leaves crept in through the open window, accompanied by a light breeze. The air in the room was fresh and crisp, a gracious wake up to the room's inhabitant.
James inhaled deeply, letting the cool air fill his lungs and bring him into consciousness. He opened his eyes, letting them rest on the white washed ceiling, thanking the mercy that was the light headed sensation of waking up for briefly numbing the usual pit of sadness that began to sink down upon him.
Once again, another dead day had passed. It had been just as empty as all the others that had gone by this week. The only factor that could fill the grand abyss was the great gift of accidentally looking into her eyes or hearing her voice—no matter how much her pain killed him.
He called himself an idiot over and over, practically like it was routine. Who was he to follow her every word blindly? He was hopelessly in love, nothing could ever change that.
And that was very, very stupid.
The recovery theme of the week had been trying to understand what was going on, while not meddling and not dying of worry. Evidently, it was a very hard goal to accomplish. Each day left him with less and less hope than the previous.
He was beginning to think that she was never going to talk to him again.
He couldn't help but think that this was all his fault. If he hadn't of talked to her so soon, their friendship would be growing right now, not disintegrating. He would have been able to talk to her and help her, and maybe—just maybe—she wouldn't be stuck in such a dark state...
James shook his head as he sat up in his bed and looked down at his white sheets, his brown hair slightly obscuring his view. His knuckles were tight as he meshed his hands together in confused concentration.
He still couldn't forget when he saw her in the infirmary two days ago. To say she looked weary was an understatement. Her expression carried the pain of holding all the world's woes. She was scared, her skin immensely pale, and her body stretched to the physical limit. Whatever she was doing these past few days was growing to be increasingly taxing.
More than anything he only wanted to understand what was going on. He didn't even have to understand. He just wanted to help.
What could possibly be going on right now that could virtually alter her entire drive and motivation to that of weariness and despair? And whatever it could possibly be, it was painful for him. He didn't want to see her this way—he simply couldn't bear it. Seeing her in pain was like seeing the world collapse in front of him.
But he could never look away.
Was it wrong for him to look forward to dinner with her every night? He knew that once again she would look as depressed as yesterday, sometimes even more so. It was physically painful. Yet, after each meal was over, he always found himself wanting more.
Wanting her.
He ran his hand through his already disheveled hair. This was unhealthy. His dream of being with her seemed to fade every night.
And yet giving up was an absolute impossibility.
Who was he to decide to end this relationship on the basis that times have changed? Sure, the both of them have grown, and not necessarily in the same way, but friendship and time came hand in hand. Ending any relationship was merely a theoretical idea. The concrete proof of a friend may no longer be there, but memory often had its own means of existence—remembering everything that it wanted to.
Forgetting Romeli was out of the question, and so was ending their relationship before it even really began.
Besides, he had tried to forget about her once already. That didn't work out so well.
James got out of his bed tiredly, yet with a newfound determined attitude. He began to get ready for the rest of his day, silently promising himself that he would not give up. Romeli was going to understand eventually.
He loved her. That was that.
OOO
Breakfast this morning was awkward. And he didn't know if it was because of the silence that swept over his friends, or the fact that he knew everyone's mind was on last night's dinner: the episode in which Romeli ran once again from the mess hall, practically in pieces.
Either way, the reason, whatever it was, created no justification for the fact that it was awkward. James didn't like it one bit.
He chewed his food in peace, not really much in the mood for eating anything, but knowing that he would need the nutrients for the day. A sweeping memory of Romeli's frail body as she played with her food toyed with his mind. Shutting his eyes instinctively, he willed the image to fade away, before his emotions got out of hand.
There was a lot of tension at the breakfast table today, and it made him immensely uncomfortable. Sure, he hated the situation that Romeli was in right now. He hated the fact that he had no idea what was going on, and he hated the fact that she wasn't here right now so he could sneak glances and think about her. But he also hated the fact that his other friends seemed to be unhappy at the moment as well.
Whave was just as silent as he was. Wallowing, obviously, or stressed. Sereem and his brother were the same, though he had a feeling that not only were they unhappy about the situation, they were frustrated—angry even. What really had him perplexed was his sister. She hadn't said anything the whole meal—a fact that was so out of character for her that he knew something was wrong. Ethan sat next to her, obviously concerned about her and trying to get her attention. She ignored him completely.
A part of him wanted the thickness in the air to dissipate. He wanted to say something, start an easy conversation, and forget about the worries for a while. He hated his friends being so...solemn. But the other part of him knew there was no use—he was just as depressed as they were, if not more. Romeli's state was tearing him apart limb from limb. He was in no condition to put much effort into anything at the moment.
Except for making her understand, he told himself.
But how would he do this? He was playing with his fruit salad now, more interested in their arrangement than their taste. Romeli was one of the most stubborn and driven people he had ever had the honor to meet. Understanding her, convincing her, learning what was wrong was not a light subject, and he knew this.
He was almost completely positive Romeli had absolutely no intention in telling anyone what she was going through. Why she was this way. What her scars meant, or why she left back for Scanra to get that chest. None of it made sense to him, but it did to her. She knew what was going on. He did not. And he needed to know, because whatever it was was tearing her apart—something he could not accept or allow.
He was too much in love to let her live like this. Alone.
James heard a sniff from beside him, and he reflexively looked over just in time to see Ethan wrapping an arm around his sister and letting her rest her head on his chest. He caught a tear slide down her cheek.
His brows furrowed. What was with her today?
Whatever it was, it was probably none of his business. He was close to his sister, but knew that there were parts of her life that he had no right in knowing. Of course he was curious, concerned even, but not to the point of over-protection. Ethan was enough of that for her.
Comfortingly, James placed a hand on Ryoku's leg and patted it supportingly before returning to his food. She knew he was there for her, but only if he needed him to be so. He wouldn't push her, but he also knew that he wasn't the only person affected by the drastic physical and emotional changes Romeli had gone through in the past week.
Gods. He couldn't even imagine. He currently felt like he was being tortured. Like an immobile pit of darkness had seeded itself heavily on his chest—completely permanent. Whatever Romeli was going through had to be ten times worse.
He shuddered, not wanting to think about it.
Instead he turned back to his food, taking a bite of apple this time, in lieu of playing with it. The table fell under another uncomfortable silence just like it had been previously. This time, he knew there would be no conversation this morning. This was no surprise to him. Practically since his return from Scanra he had been silent at each meal—as had she.
The temptation to put his head in his hands as another rising thought of her surfaced was nearly dominating. It was immensely exhausting to have each thought smoothly circulate around one topic, and one topic only—Her. Sure, his mind strayed, but like an orbiting planet, his purpose circled around its sun.
He felt a surge of emptiness come to him now. To him, Romeli was not who she had been. She had changed beyond repair. And though in no way did this decrease the amount of love he had for her, it certainly made him feel lost. At the moment he felt like his sun was gone—vanished...vanquished, but there he still was, orbitting around emptiness, defying the laws of gravity.
This is so. Dumb.
James shoved another bite of apple into his mouth, mirroring the temptation to shove all thoughts out of his mind.
It almost worked. But as he knew, forgetting Romeli was an impossibility. There was no way he could forget the memories they had, both painful and full of bliss. And he could not ignore the pull on his heart right now—the pull that constantly reminded him that this was not over yet, and Romeli would understand.
So it was back to what he woke up to. The new drive and motivation. It was his temporary sun until Romeli had the strength to stand on her own. He would make Romeli understand that he loved her, and he in turn would understand her struggles—or, at least, be there for her.
With a hearty sigh, he cleared his mind and loosened the weight that had been pulling on his chest since the beginning of the day. It didn't heal his constant sadness by any means, but it sure relieved it, albeit temporarily.
Ironic. Romeli was his painkiller, and the reason for all his pain.
He smiled grimly at that. The world he lived in was an odd place, full of coincidence and irony. He knew the Gods loved to meddle with fate, especially Romeli's, but never did he expect his own destiny to follow a path such as this. The thought was torturous, and yet he loved it.
This was his destiny. A blind love that he could not ignore, down a road he knew she would not let him follow. It was a hard line to cross—but he could do it, he would do it.
James stood up gracefully, his motivation peaked to the point of continuing with his plans for the day. He didn't really bother with saying goodbye to his friends, instead, he had much more important matters to ponder over.
OOO
"You're not focussing, Queenscove," grumbled Alanna frustratedly as once again she disarmed him. There was a clatter of metal hitting rock as his sword fell to the ground, feet away from him. He looked at his sword for a moment, not registering whether he should be frustrated or serene about losing another sparring match to his knight-master. Winning a match with Alanna was a losing battle anyways.
James exhaled loudly as he walked over to his sword and picked it up once again, mumbling the tenth apology of the day. Maybe she could just kill me now...
Yeah, I should be so lucky.
"Stop apologizing to me," she said, obviously irritated. He couldn't help but flinch. Darn abusive Lady Knights. And I'm stuck with the essence of womanly anger...
James bit his tongue, deciding that staying alive was much more appealing than dying in the dignity that was the sparring grounds.
Alanna glowered at him for a good couple of minutes. He met her gaze steadily, knowing that she wasn't searching for an explanation—the look of anger was her thinking face.
As she thought and fumed, James began to question why Alanna had asked him to be her Squire in the first place. This wasn't necessarily a revolutionary thought by any means. In fact, pretty much every sparring and healing session went remotely the same. They would train, she would get mad, which would commence the silent fuming until she decided to end the lesson early, naming off three to five things he should work on until the next session. Simple as that.
And It wasn't like he was exceptional at anything. He was pretty well-rounded and had a healing Gift—that was it. Sure, his father had been her Squire as well, but the only reason for that was because he was best friends with Aunt Keladry...
Once again, his thoughts landed right were they shouldn't have: Romeli. Obviously the reason why he was her Squire was because his best friend was his niece...
For the first time, James decided to interrupt Alanna's silent thinking, totally disregarding all consequences.
"Alanna, why am I your Squire?"
Alanna looked at him steadily, her reaction expressing a hint of confusion and surprise. She hadn't been expecting that question to come up at all.
She shrugged off her brief stalling. "Because the male line of the Queenscove family, though devastatingly annoying, portrays a superior sense of humorous compassion and wit that no other family line could dare defeat."
James snorted.
Alanna couldn't help but grin wickedly. "Though sometimes it may not seem so, me and you work well together, Jameson. Your mischievous personality and love balance perfectly with my passion and fury. We're a compatible team."
James couldn't help but let out a small grin at that, but he asked his next question slowly. "This is devastatingly true. But does it have anything to do with Romeli?"
Alanna's steady expression faltered slightly and then shifted to a hint of concern—an emotion that he hadn't really been expecting.
"Maybe a little bit," she admitted sheepishly.
"Look." His reply was simple. "You're not going to hurt my feelings, Alanna. I just wanted to know. Let's fight."
For the first time his whole Squire-hood, Alanna said four words he thought he would never hear in this context. "I don't want to."
James looked up alarmed, his brows furrowed. He ran a hand through his hair, taking the role of the one frustrated in the conversation now. The question was dumb anyways, and now he knew exactly where it had taken them.
Alanna's sword was fully sheathed once again as she bit her lip, keeping her eyes on James worriedly. He met her gaze for a brief moment, then looked back down bitterly.
"Do you know what's going on with her?"
If only he knew the answer to that question. He put his hands up in the air, completely defeated. "I honestly have no idea."
"This doesn't make any sense."
He almost laughed out loud. What does make sense these days? He only shrugged, trying to play the part of disregard. Inside though, he was fuming—no, not fuming—dying.
Alanna didn't seem to notice. "Okay. So she's has this feeling that something is coming, right? Something pretty big or she wouldn't be..." she seemed to struggle with words "...torturing herself endlessly like this. From the looks of it, she already knows what it is too. How come she isn't telling anyone? She yelled at the king just a few days ago...did you know about that?"
James nodded an affirmative. His father had told him a couple days after the incident. "Go Romeli."
Alanna laughed as she shook her head, though the tension in the air did not ease. "Whatever it is, she's convinced she's facing it alone. That doesn't make any sense... you can't just face something this big and expect to win."
"I believe you've forgotten who we're talking about."
"Are you siding with her?" she asked exasperated.
He shook his head quickly. "Of course not. But we are talking about one of the most stubborn people in Tortall...including you. I have no doubt in my mind that this is her fate—this is supposed to happen, and she must face it. Whether alone or with her country behind her is for her to decide. But we don't know anything about what's going on. Maybe she has to do it alone? Maybe she feels uncomfortable saying anything? Maybe it's for our own safety? But she's done things like this before—flying solo and saving the day."
Alanna shook her head slowly, muttering something under her breath that he could not hear. "You've grown up significantly, Master Queenscove," she finally said as she looked at him. "Doesn't mean I necessarily agree with you. This is the ultimate test, from what I hear. Does she expect to stand alone and face it with no foundation behind her but the training of her father, Maryann, and me?"
"You've been training her?"
She nodded. "Almost daily for the past couple of weeks. Street fighting and swordsmanship. You didn't know?"
"I haven't talked to Romeli in two weeks," he informed her darkly. "Unless you don't want to count the pointless conversations before that. Then it would be four and a half months."
Alanna's brows shot up significantly. "I knew that her...passing on...and then her coming back was hard on you. I had no idea that it put such a break in your relationship."
James closed his eyes quickly to drive his memories away from the path they were taking. He didn't want to picture what had happened ever again. He spoke with his eyes still closed. "It was a break in our relationship, and it was starting to get better. But since she came back from Scanra the second time," since I kissed her that night, he told himself silently, "she's been completely ignoring me. As if the sight of me gives her pain." He spoke the last word with reverence.
Alanna seemed to have ignored a good half of his explanation. "She went to Scanra a second time?"
James looked down. So Romeli hadn't informed her of everything, then. "How much has she told you?"
"That something bad is going to happen, and her Guardians were instructing her to prepare. And that it all has something to do with the scars on her neck...but whenever I asked her more specific questions she always ignored me."
James nodded. Whenever Romeli ignored someone it was probably for good reason—even if it was him. He tried to cover up the breach in information as well as he could. "Oh. Well that's pretty much all I know as well" which was undoubtedly the truth. "And that she left for Scanra just a couple weeks ago to grab something. I shouldn't have brought it up, I'm sorry."
Alanna nodded, not bothering to ask further questions. The good thing about Alanna was that when she knew it was none of her business, she didn't bother listening.
"And how are you doing with this situation?" asked Alanna. genuine concern was in the tenor of her voice.
James looked down again, clenching his jaw tensely as a he ran a hand through his already disheveled hair. "I love her."
"Glad to hear you admitted it," Alanna murmured slyly. "Finally."
When James looked up, Alanna wasn't expecting to see the beginning of tears in his eyes. When she walked over to pat his shoulder comfortingly, he shrugged her off. "No, I'm fine." He spoke his next words slowly. "I think you understand that...love is...complicated. I have a strong belief that she knows she isn't going to survive this...and I can't deal with it. I can't deal with the fact that she's giving up before her life really even began—her life with me in it. I want her to understand, but she doesn't listen. I need to understand, but she wont let me."
Alanna looked at him carefully. "I understand what you're going through. I know what it feels like. And I also know...that comforting words are useless, and so is advice. I'm going to say nothing to you, because I know you don't need it."
James looked up and met her gaze, a weak and crooked smile on his face. "Thanks."
Alanned humphed. "Well I think that's a good conclusion to our sparring lesson, Sir Queenscove. Though next time, please refrain from asking me such dumb questions. For Mithros' sake you're a Squire not a weekly inquisitor. Get your head straight."
James snorted. "You started it, I just—."
"I most certainly did not start anything, Jameson," she answered coldly, her eyes mocking.
James scoffed. "Like you could. Your height is merely a reflection of your rapidly depleting self-confidence to start anything that doesn't involve a sword."
Alanna's brows rose dangerously. "Gods Sir Queenscove, I am so gee darn pissed right now I think I'm going to give you the day off tomorrow."
James eyes widened in horror. "Such a punishment."
"Get out of here, failure-squire. I'm sick of seeing you."
James nodded curtly, sheathing his sword and walking towards the exit feet behind her. He stopped close in front of her, inches away from her ear. "Can we rain-check the day off idea?" he words were a quiet murmur.
"Blaring out thoughts through actions?" she questioned knowingly, not bothering to whisper.
"Mmhmm."
"See you tomorrow, Queenscove. Bright and early."
James didn't bother with a formal goodbye. He walked out the sparring gate and towards the palace without a second glance behind him.
OOO
The night had descended upon Corus smoothly, a sight that James got to see through the view of his bedroom window. The rest of his afternoon had been spent helping his father in the Healing Wing—an action that he usually never followed through with, but voluntarily completed today.
To him, it was either die slowly by his own thoughts, or help the dying. Choosing the latter seemed only appropriate.
James stepped back from the window, the sunset now fully complete. He let out a hearty sigh, like he was releasing all his day's woes into darkness just as the sun had done so minutes ago.
Tiredly, he turned towards his bed, more than eager for a full nights sleep.
A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. He eyed it curiously, wondering who would bother to come up here to speak to him at night... A wave of frustration and hope washed through him as the image of Romeli at his door, wanting to talk, crept into his mind.
He shoved it away. That was completely ridiculous...illogical...
He walked towards the door, a hint of hope still coursing through his veins. He felt it in his heavy heartbeat that reverberated through his fingers and toes. He wanted it to be Romeli.
But it wasn't, he told himself.
Answering the door left him just as relieved as he was disappointed. It wasn't Romeli at all, but Ryoku. She walked into his room, not bothering with a greeting, and sat on the foot of his bed, looking just as upset as she was this morning.
"Hey, what's going on?" asked James, closing the door and sitting next to her easily.
Ryoku shook her head slowly from side to side with closed eyes. Tremors of concern crept through him. His sister was never this upset—not unless it meant something. He gave her leg another pat like did that morning, waiting patiently for her to speak.
When she exhaled, it was shaky and uneven. She had been crying. "It's Romeli."
He looked at her alarmed. So Romeli hadn't come to the door, but the next best thing did—if he looked at the black humor of it all. The thought was disregardable and he found that he felt nothing but his concern increase three-fold.
"What happened?" he demanded, his voice slightly more shaky than it had been mere seconds ago.
Ryoku pursed her lips thinking through what words to say. After a few moments she spoke again. "When Romeli left last night during dinner, I was pretty upset and decided to find her after we were done eating. When I found her, she was at the gazebo...and I had to talk to her. I had to figure out what was going on..."
"Do you know what's going on?" for the first time all day, James' eyes began to light up.
Ryoku bit her lip. Obviously he question didn't have a yes or no answer, otherwise she would never have been so upset in the first place. "I...sort of? She's...ack!" she put a hand to her head out of frustration, looking at the ground as she spoke. "She's not doing well, James."
Those words set her off. What she seemed to have had bottled up inside her all day, escaped as one tear fell and then the next. James tried to compose his features for the sake of his sister as he wrapped an arm around her and let her lean on his chest.
She began to talk again after a couple minutes, her voice slightly muffled but still audible through the fabric of his shirt. "She wouldn't really tell me anything. Not about what's going on with...her scars and stuff, you know? I tried to tell her that we're there for her, but all she said was that we wouldn't understand. It was like she physically couldn't say what was happening—what her scars mean. It doesn't make any sense..." Her voice choked up again.
James inhaled deeply and let it out in a long sigh. He guessed just as much. Like he said to Alanna earlier that day, Romeli was a stubborn force to be reckoned with. This merely confirmed his theory, and made it that much more difficult for him to make her understand.
"Have you seen her lately?" Ryoku whispered quietly, her voice beginning to shake again. She pushed herself out of James' hold and looked into his eyes again. "It's like looking into a grave. She's letting herself die. For what? Dignity?"
James closed his eyes quickly, trying to push the picture of Romeli out of his head. He knew all too well what she was talking about. Her seemingly frail body that always pushed to the limit. It honestly surprised him that she was training with so many different people. How could she do that in this condition? Her eyes were dead, rotating between green and blue slower, paler—weak. It looked like she hadn't gotten a minute of sleep in weeks.
He shook his head as an only reply. "I don't know."
She reeled on him. "Is that your only reply? I don't know? don't tell me you aren't concerned, James! She's dying, and she knows it!"
James shook his head slowly, his emerald eyes pained. "Of course I'm concerned. You know this isn't easy for me. I...I can't function whenever she's in the room. But I feel so oblivious to everything. I'm so used to...knowing something. Now it's like she's ignoring me. Like she's scared of me."
Ryoku averted her gaze from his and she sniffed, playing with her hands in her lap.
James' eyes narrowed suspiciously. "What else did she tell you?"
Ryoku looked back up at him, a hint of guilt in her eyes that vanished quickly. "I asked her what was going on between you and her..."
James closed his eyes slowly, letting her words sink in like a death wish. So this was it. "What did she tell you," he whispered.
Ryoku shook her head. "The second I said your name, she lost it. It was like she was in pieces...like she found out someone she loved had just die..." she swallowed, unable to finish the word. "left."
Ripples of pain swept through him that he couldn't classify. It was like hearing about this conversation second hand was torture to him. Not because he was disinterested, anything but. He couldn't handle it. He had no strength to bear the image of Romeli struggling over him. It wasn't fair. It wasn't right.
"James," Ryoku started. James looked at her when she said his names. "She's really scared."
His brows furrowed. "Of what?"
"Of...you."
What?
"I don't...understand," James started slowly, his expression darkening considerably.
"It's all really complicated," Ryoku started quietly. "As you can imagine, her time in servitude was very taxing. She was left virtually alone, and was forced to do a lot of merciless actions, while cruel actions and consequences were put upon her..."
James knew she was stalling. "Just. Say it," he said through clenched teeth.
Ryoku sighed, taking her brothers hand and playing with it as she spoke. "When she was there, she met D'mitri and had somewhat of a relationship with him. But the king was really cruel when it came to Romeli's freedoms and he was...hung."
James eyes snapped open wide. "What?"
Ryoku looked at him seriously. "Do you think after something like that happened to you, you would be able to love again?"
James chewed on her words for a minute before he spoke again. "Nothing is going to happen to me though. That was under significantly different circumstances. I'm not going anywhere." He said the last word forcefully.
Ryoku laughed like it was ironic. "I said the exact same words to her, but she still couldn't budge. I told her you love her, but she said she couldn't. That it was more than just what had happened with D'mitri. Everything was connected."
"Her scars," he whispered knowingly. "Everything is connected to the meaning of her scars."
"I think the same way," she agreed. "But we still don't know what they mean..." She bit her lip and looked down, hoping James wouldn't notice her moment of weakness. There was a large portion of her conversation with Romeli that she had to leave out—the topic of his mortality...both of their mortalities.
Romeli had been so convinced. Her black words still echoed through her mind:
"How would you know? Have you died before? Because I have. When the great beyond is coming, you can feel it."
Ryoku leaned her head on her brother's chest again. "You should have seen her, James. It isn't like her state is just an emotional and mental struggle, it's infested her physically too. Her emotional vulnerability is so...weak that she actually collapsed in front of me, numb. She got sick, James. She actually threw up. She was so scared..."
James shook his head, he couldn't bear hearing this, picturing it in his head with each word. "She can't go on like this anymore. It's torturing her. It's torturing me. I can't..." Gods, I can't even speak, he thought to himself miserably. Pain coursed through his veins constantly now, as if it had never arrived, or would ever leave. The tempo of his heart was toying with his emotions.
Ryoku kept her eyes on the ground, but she still nodded. Her thoughts were on much more than just Romeli's well being.
"I have to talk to her," he whispered, already decided.
Ryoku closed her eyes now, but she didn't argue against it. James was the one person who could change this now—change it before it was too late. He had to figure out what was going on, why everything was connected—he had to help her. It wasn't just a choice, it was a priority.
And both of them knew it.
"When?" Ryoku whispered quietly.
"Tomorrow." His voice was steady. "I've been planning to talk to her for days. I know what to say. I know what to do. It has to be done, and I'm the one doing it."
Ryoku bit back a sob. She wanted to tell her brother so badly, but she couldn't. She couldn't physically tell James that he may possibly die. She knew now, just by a fraction, what Romeli felt like about the situation. It was an act of preservation—keeping bad news away from those that you love. She could only nod.
"James?" she said after a few more silent minutes.
He looked at her with raised brows. His eyes were tired, weary, but determined. There was no use in averting his goal.
She swallowed hardly. "Tell her you love her."
He closed his eyes and nodded. "I will. I love her with all my heart."
Ryoku wrapped her arms around her brothers torso, hugging him tightly. He faltered for a second but hugged her back just as hard. When he let her go, she said her goodbyes and left the room, closing the door silently behind her.
James let out another hearty sigh. So this was it. Tomorrow was the day that this would stop, and she would understand.
She had to understand. For if she didn't, he knew the circumstances of her well being and his would crash and obliterate.
They had lived without the other for a little while. But separated they were not the same. James and Romeli were a package deal. Nothing could ever change that.
OMG. FINISHED!!!!!!
yes yes yes yes. okay. next chapter. is amazing. it's when everything will make sense. everything will click. Romantically.
I LOVE ALL MY REVIEWERS!
Replies:
anonymous: hey thanks!! wow. you read very quickly. I am proud. Her skin isn't green, her hair is, sorry about the confusing. LOL. completely hilarious random moments. there's going to be a lot more of those after the next chapter, trust me. ahahaa. Yea...when ideas like that enter my head, I can't help but write them down on paper. LOVE IT. thanks.
BlackWidow12: omg. no kidding. She's almost as stubborn as one of my friends. That's kind of where I extract her personality actually haha. omg. They'll totally be her friends forever. Don't even think about it. just wait till next chapter lol. it'll all make sense. annoying chapters should end soon. trust me, they were irritating me too.
IloveCockatiels: oh god. lol. what was the question?
Aly-Of-Tortall13: haha. I tend to get writersblocks a lot. It's not even really a block, it's more of a lack of motivation. I know what's going to happen, just sometimes I'm not sure how to put it in words the way I want. YAY! can't want for the end. haha.
inktongue58: There wasn't much Romeli in this chapter though. That's a good break, right? and then after this everything should be pretty kickass. Emo people are annoying, no doubt. I mean, we all have our days when we're not really into 'livin' it up', but still. I think you need a lot of patience to be friends with people like that.
massieroxmysox: omg. It would be so cool if I published it. I don't really know how...there's so much stuff I'd have to change to make it orginal. But I'm pretty sure if I'm motivated enough I can do it. lol. allowance. I don't really have allowance... whatever. kill half the characters? Hmm...maybe? lol. Can't really answer that one. we still have the sequel. HAHA!! you read my other fanfics? They're a drastic change from this one I'm positive. This is definitely the one I take seriously.
Oh!!! happy birthday as well. Though it's kind of late now... have some cake anyways. lol. OMG DEER!!! they're related to moose...which means they're awesome. it's exciting. glad you like you're b-day present haha.
xxTunstall Chickxx: haha...so much for updating soon, right? I'll always keep writing though!! This story keeps me sane. which is ironic because, to be honest, the whole story-line is fairly ridiculous.
blackkat09: er....romeli's antlers are out of season. You know how antlers on deer fall off and grow back during the fall? It's like that. I haven't really been very specific with it. To be honest it's kind of crazy tying all the plotlines together on top of all the usual unusual things that go on with Romeli haha. No worries. important info is all coming. it'll be ridiculous.
dares to dream: everything will brighten up soon!! I sure hope so at least. haha. sometimes I don't een know what I'm writing. thanks so much for all your compliments. they're so motivational.
x17SkmBdrchiczxx: lol. yes. keep on moosin'. I forget who thoght of that, but it was hilarious at the time. Way back at like...chapter 15 haha. HAHA!! you know how I love torturing my favorite little green haired mage. It's my favorite hobbie. But, ironically enough, there was no Romeli in this chapter. Well...the physical Romeli anyways. plenty of thoughts about her. omg. you're totally going to find out next chapter. it's going to be amazing.
YAY!!! james is finally going to say something!! lol. fortnight. lmfao.