A/N: Rumours of my death have been greatly exaggerated. Sorry for the ridiculously long hiatus on this story, but it's moving again now and I hope to finish the last few chapters in a much more regular fashion. Thank you for your patience, those of you who stuck with me.

As a reward, this chapter is a little smutty. XD

Eia

xoxoxoxox

Chapter XXX: Smoke Signals

xoxoxoxox

They burned the body, at Izayoi's insistence.

He would not have wanted to rot beneath the heavy, damp ground, worms making castles of his skull and ribs. He would have wanted a celebration of flames. So... that was what she gave him, because she had loved him.

The night was blazing with bonfires and the tense, hot-edged feeling in the air of having won an unexpected victory. Had the stars possessed eyes, they would have been blinded by the rising grey-hot pillars of smoke; and if they had lungs, they would have choked. The valley was a strange place that night, a misty, stinging place full of strange shadowy apparitions skirting the corners of vision. On nights when death was celebrated, the dead were a little closer to the world of the living, and so it was this night.

This passing was celebrated with sake and song, mostly because he was gone and could not plague them any more. Izayoi understood that. Ryuunomei had been their enemy for good reason. She could not ask them to forgive him as she had.

Even so, at the fire she sat around with her beloved companions, the celebration had somehow turned to one of what he had accomplished during his rule. A land united and prosperous, a people fat and happy, a battle well fought. It had been easy to overlook that because as a person he was not well-loved, but there was more to being a good ruler than being likeable.

Sakenmaru understood, and raised his flagon in a rueful toast.

Katsuro understood somewhat. His smile was full of secret mirth and quiet respect.

Naruka did not really understand much, but she understood that Izayoi had loved him and so she respected that.

Inutaisho did not understand at all.

Izayoi gripped her wooden teacup tightly enough to drive splinters into her fingers. She wanted to find him and beg forgiveness. She refused to do so, because doing so would give the impression that she regretted her decision when she absolutely did not. The alternative had been his death as well as her own, and her child's. It had been unacceptable, and what she had done had been the only way to avoid it. She refused to apologize for that.

So, he kept watch as best he could through the smoke and did not speak to her. His fury was palpable.

The splinters in her hands began to bleed and sting. She welcomed the pain, because it distracted her from the impulse to go find Inutaisho and beg him to forgive her. When she put her fingers in her mouth and tasted blood, it cleared her mind a bit, so she kept them there and ignored her companion's worried inquiries. Yes, she was grieving for Ryuunomei and in great pain because of it. Yes, Inutaisho's reaction hurt as well, and his continued silence made her want to cry. Yes, the last stages of pregnancy were taking their toll on her body, so she was tired.

Those were natural. She would just have to deal with them in her own time and in her own way.

She was fine. The baby was fine. She wished everyone would just stop worrying about her as though she were some sort of china doll, pretty but easy to shatter. There was iron in her bones.

The night spiraled into the eerie blue hours before morning came in earnest, and the fires collapsed upon themselves into smoldering, sullen heaps of coals. The vast majority of the warriors were fast asleep, curled up next to the heat and light as though it would protect them from the things that came in the night.

Izayoi sat sleepless, staring into the wavering orange-red haze and wishing there had been another way to avert the vision she'd seen. This was too painful.

Her friends arrayed themselves around her, sleeping soundly and easily beneath the pale haze. She loved them for trying to understand, though they had every reason not to. It still was not really enough.

If she were honest with herself, she just wanted Ryuunomei back. There had not been enough time to thank him properly for his last decision. There had not been enough time period, for anything she wanted to do or say. She felt cheated.

Cheated, but at least she no longer felt torn.

With Ryuunomei gone, there was only one person left to love, and so she was free to love him fully without the dividing force of her past getting in the way. Unfortunately, the end of Ryuunomei had also very possibly brought about the end of her other love as well, which she hadn't foreseen.

Inutaisho would not talk to her. He would not even look at her. It was as though he had decided that she was not worth his time and effort after all and given up. She was only human, after all... it would not be surprising to another demon.

Izayoi's chest constricted painfully thinking about it. She carried his child in her belly-- their child. He could not turn from her so easily... could he?

The first pale hints of dawn bleached the horizon. Day was coming, but she was not sure she could face his silence for another day without breaking. She would not apologize... but neither could she bear this stalemate. Something had to be done. He was far too practiced at holding a grudge-- he would never approach her. It was up to her to make change, if there was any possible change to make.

The light of the fire faded as that of morning overtook it slowly. It was still dark, but the fire did not seem to burn quite as brightly anymore without the swallowing darkness to backdrop it.

Izayoi unclenched her bleeding hands-- somehow, the feel of her nails digging into her palm was almost a comforting distraction, so she'd forgotten to ease up-- and stood up. No one noticed.

She was like a wraith, striding through the campsite in her white mourning robes with her hair trailing sadly behind her. Her skin was deathly pale. Had any of the curled sleeping bodies woken to see her as she passed among their midst, they might easily have thought her a ghost. Such was the sadness in her eyes.

He was on a hilltop when she found him, cross-legged in the cold dirt and staring with an iron gaze out across the glittering patchwork of dying bonfires. There was no gentleness in his eyes, only cold steadfastness and a gleam of triumph hidden deep. He looked like the demon he was. He looked forbidding.

Izayoi was not a coward.

She was many things, but that was not one of them. So, after a deep breath, she crossed the last little space between them and knelt next to him on the chilled grass.

"I won't apologize," she told him, and was proud of how little her voice shook as she said it. "I did the right thing, even if you don't understand that. There was never any true danger to the child... or to me, if that even matters to you anymore. I would have foreseen it." There was no accusation in her voice-- only sadness, and resignation. She was not a coward, and she was not stupid either. Accusations would do nothing anyway, so there was no reason to anger him.

He continued to say nothing, staring resolutely into the grey smoke as though she were not even there.

That was fine. She had almost expected it. "If you are angry, I understand. I still won't apologize. My honour won't allow me to. However, I can't stand this silence. What can I do to make you speak to me again?"

Inutaisho was silent, but it was an active silence now. He was listening.

"It may mean nothing to say this now, but I do love you. I chose you. My going to Ryuunomei was in order to save your life, not because I wanted to be with him. Yes, I loved him. I can't and won't deny that. However, that is not why I went. I wish I could make you understand that. I wish I could show you the vision I saw, most of all. Maybe then you'd understand why I had to go even though I knew you wouldn't understand." Her fingers were leaving small red marks on her white robes like red teardrops. She hardly noticed. The pain in her chest was far greater than the one in her skin.

Still no reaction.

The limit was reached. She tightened her mouth and balled her fists. "Damn it, Inutaisho, I know I made you angry, but you're acting like a child. At least try to talk about this like an adult. You're older than I can even wrap my head around, haven't you learned yet that sulking solves nothing?"

A blurred moment later, there was a hand around her throat squeezing painfully and ferocious golden eyes waging war on her own startled black ones.

"You have only known him for a paltry handful of years," he snarled, blazing with fury. "I have known him for millennia, and hated him for all but a few decades of that. It was not your place to act. You should have stayed in the castle I made to protect you and let me deal with the situation. Your ego has no place in this war, Izayoi, and you should have recognized--"

She reached up and made him loosen his hands under she could breathe, then cut him off, unable to take another word. "I saved your life, Inutaisho! If I hadn't gone, you would have died in the battle, and so would I! As well as your child! I did what I had to. Don't start throwing your age at me either-- you may have known him for thousands of years, but have you ever shared a bed with him? Have you ever seen him dreaming, deep in sleep? Have you ever seen him smile because of something you said or did? Has he ever loved you?" She was weeping now, again, unable to contain her hurt and anger. The strange air of the boundary between night and morning seemed to make it all right to say what she really meant, as though this were only a dream world and everything would be all right when she woke up. "No! You may have known him longer, but you can't claim to have known him as well as I did. You talk about protecting me, but you didn't even really know what you were protecting me from."

Inutaisho stared at her, still furious. However, his eyes now held a measure of uncertainty. "I did not have to share a bed with him to know that he was dangerous, you fool woman. Why can you not simply trust me to take care of you? Why can you not trust me at all? You have told me yourself that visions are not certain-- they can be changed, avoided. What is to say that I would not have done something to change the future you saw, that a later vision would not have shown a better future? You rely too much on your smoke-and-mirror tricks, Izayoi. Rely on me instead."

Izayoi gaped. "It was such a strong vision," she whispered. "It would have taken something big to alter the outcome. I saw no other way. I do trust you, but this situation required more than just that. I had to push the path of the future away from what I saw, and that was the only way that presented itself. I should ask you the same question-- why can't you trust me a little more? I would never betray you, not ever!"

He returned to staring out over the valley, eyes unreadable. His hands, however, were clenched in his lap so tightly she wondered if his bones were cracking.

Progress.

"Even if I don't care what happens to me, I am carrying our child. He is precious to me, more precious than I can even express to you. If I had thought he would be in any danger from my actions, I would not have moved from the castle no matter what. I knew he would be safe. I knew I would be safe. All that remained was to make sure that you would be safe, so that was what I did. Because-- please listen, Inutaisho-- because I love you too much to watch you die on the battlefield when I have a chance of preventing it. If the same choice faced me now, I would make it again exactly the same way. I won't back down and apologize... even... even if it means that you won't talk to me. I can't apologize, not for that."

Inutaisho closed his eyes. "You say there was no danger, but I find that difficult to believe. What about Ryuukotsusei? Even if his brother loved you too much to harm you, he had no such compunctions. You could have easily died in the battle between them, along with my-- our-- son. Your visions are useful things, I will not deny that, but you rely on them too much. Life is much more unpredictable than you give it credit for."

Izayoi turned her face to the brightening East and refused to let herself cry. "I know that," she whispered. "It was still the right thing to do. Won't you forgive me? This silence hurts too much."

His head moved in a slow, jerky motion that was halfway between a nod and shake. The light caught in his hair. "I am honestly not certain that I can. I have hated him for too long to understand how you could love him, or to be easy with you trusting him over me. Izayoi..." His voice caught in his throat, and he turned his head so that she could not see his face.

Her chest hurt. "Inutaisho, please. Even if you can't understand..." She trailed off, understanding suddenly that she could talk until she ran out of breaths but he would still not understand, not really. Speaking was therefore pointless. "Listen," she whispered, without expecting him to even hear her.

Then she turned towards him, grass rubbing and staining her robes with green to accent the red of her blood, and laid her head on his shoulder. Her right hand wound around his neck and threaded into the hair above his ear, a silent caress than said more than her voice ever could.

He radiated heat, as usual, a harsh contrast to the chill of her clammy skin.

Morning was coming. She did not want it to come with the conflict between them still intact. The day would be too stark to bear.

There was a long period of silence with nothing but her arm around him and his silence to fill the moments. Then he took a deep breath in and let it out. Not a word, but she could feel the tension trickle out of his shoulders and dissolve into nothing.

"I was so frightened," he admitted quietly without looking at her. "When I heard that you had gone, I knew immediately where you had gone to, and I was afraid. All I have ever wished is for you to be safe. I was angry because you had deliberately put yourself in harm's way for my sake, even though it was your safety I was concerned with. I am... not accustomed to being disobeyed."

"Get used to it," she laughed breathlessly, tears wavering in her eyes. "I have authority issues."

"So I have noticed," he replied dryly, and just like that the tight cord of tension between them relaxed and became an easy bond once more.

Izayoi lifted her head from his shoulder to press her lips to his dew-dampened cheek. "If you are angry with me, please tell me," she murmured into his ear. "I can't do anything to make it better if you won't let me."

Bracing himself with his right hand, he turned to meet her head-on and opened his mouth as if to say something. Then, with a small certain smile, he closed it and kissed her instead, welcoming her back into himself with the gentle, forgiving press of his lips.

Sighing with relief, Izayoi kissed him back, winding her other arm around his neck to pull herself closer. He was so warm. It was like kissing a white-golden ember, almost too hot to bear.

"I promise not to leave again," she whispered into the small space between his lips. "Promise me you won't either."

"I have never left you," he replied, puzzled.

She shook her head, closing her eyes for a moment. "Yes, you have," she told him, "just now. Since you brought me back, you've been gone even though your body was here."

Though she could not see, she knew he was rolling his eyes. That was fine. It was still true, and she knew he understood even if his ego would not let him acknowledge it directly.

"I promise," he said affectionately, then rolled over so that he was pressing her into the grass with his full weight. "Just let me finish this battle and I will never leave you alone again. Be patient."

"Call me by name," she whispered, compelled by some desire deep within herself. "Please."

He smiled above her, almost indiscernible through the shadows of his hair.

"Please."

There were gentle angled lips on her own, conveying the depth of feeling behind them with admirable effectiveness. Then they pulled away, but only for a moment. "Izayoi," he said clearly, sweetly. "My foolish love." The lips returned.

Trapped between the cold earth and his almost painfully warm body, Izayoi shut her eyes and gave in. The anger was gone. He probably still did not understand why she had decided as she had, but he had now accepted that she would not change her mind on the matter and come to terms with his own reaction to her choices. It was not completely all right, but they were functional again and that made her too happy to speak.

Her hands scrunched his clothing between them, pressing into his back and pulling him closer, closer, closer. She wanted to swallow him, bring all of him inside of her until there was no separation at all. That was what love meant to her.

The sky brightened above them, turning a sweet shade of crystal blue at the edges while remaining deeper, silent shade in the center.

Izayoi pushed, pulled and eventually tore his layers of soot-grey clothing out of the way, sliding her fingers and lips across every new small expanse of skin she discovered. There was salt on his cloud-pale skin. It lingered on her tongue.

Her clothing fell away with hardly a whisper of protest, coaxed away by the gentle coercions of his fingertips. It had been long since the last time he had made love to her, but there had been no forgetting for her. Every motion was familiar and wonderful to her.

Lying in a puddle of stained white silk, she splayed herself open in invitation, a small smile sweeping across her lips. This was all she wanted, all she had ever wanted-- a hand on her back carelessly traversing each hillock of her spine, a warm wet mouth tasting her throat, another hand pressing hard between her legs and making her writhe. Hands and lips which loved her.

She ran her fingernails down his spine, feeling with joyful wonder the way he arched under her touch, eyes fluttering shut and breath coming in abbreviated gasps.

Her nipples brushed against his and they both sucked in startled breaths, then moved the same way again, enjoying the sensation without reservation. It was a cold morning, which only added to the painful sensitivity.

Izayoi dragged her heels up the back of Inutaisho's thighs, delighting in the shudder that rippled through him, until they rested against his lower back in mute invitation.

He took her up on it, thrusting into her as far as he could.

She moaned, letting her eyes flutter shut and digging her nails into the firm skin of his back in a silent plea.

Inutaisho answered.

The earth was not soft enough to make it entirely comfortable, but she paid no mind, paying attention instead to the slow coiling heat between her legs and the swift currents of pleasure each thrust brought her.

All she could think was that he was going too slowly, being too gentle. Pulling herself up with her fingernails against his spine, she sank her teeth into the straining flesh of his neck. A small thread of blood curled into her mouth, salty and hot. She'd broken the skin. Instead of feeling remorseful, she closed her lips around the wound and began to draw more blood out, drawing it to the surface until she was sure his skin would be stained for weeks. The metallic taste on her tongue only served to heat her further.

It seemed to do the same for him, for the harder she sucked on his injured throat, the harder and faster he slammed into her, claws digging into her back and teeth threatening her own throat.

Izayoi only tilted her head to allow him better access, willing to suffer that pain if it meant coming but an inch closer to completion.

Unable to resist, Inutaisho first pressed a kiss to her throat, then bit her ferociously until the blood flowed freely. It hurt, but in a way that lanced straight to her groin and made her arch powerfully upwards into him.

His hair, wild and silver-white like frozen streams of soft water, draped about her face and shoulders until that and his face were all she could see. The cool tickle of silk on her skin made her shiver silently and curve upwards until she could meet him, sliding her tongue between his surprised lips and tasting the hot essence there. It did not taste like anything particularly remarkable, just his own unique taste mingled with her own... but that was remarkable in and of itself.

The unbearable tightness in her loins intensified beyond the point where she could stand it. There were sounds escaping her mouth, but she was hardly even aware of them.

Inutaisho blocked out the air and the wind and the grass and the rising sun until all she could see or feel or hear was him, giving in to his desire for her that had somehow survived his anger.

She was glad. She wanted more.

Her fingers tangled in his hair and pulled, dragging him into her although there was really no more of him she could take in. Her belly, rounded and protruding, held him away from her so that this was as close as they could possibly come. It was simultaneously close enough and not nearly enough at all.

Regardless of who might hear below, Izayoi begged for release, unable to deal with the screaming pressure at her center.

He waited a few moments, perhaps out of pride, before granting it to her by transferring his weight to one hand and using the other to caress the lotus bud of flesh just above his thrusting manhood.

Izayoi screamed, then wept into his shoulder, shuddering with layers upon layers of collapsing pleasure. The shimmering fluids that flowed from her sank slowly into the soil.

He made no sound when he went stiff against her, crushing her into the dirt and spasming against her. Her skin, however, would bear silent testimony to his climax, as he created new wounds all over her throat and shoulders helplessly as his climax faded slowly into fulfillment.

It was many long minutes before either of them could gather up the presence of mind to find their clothes and put them back on in some semblance of order.

In the meantime, they lay in each other's arms and listened to their breathing and heartbeats as they slowly came into easy synchronization.

The pain of tension and anger had gone completely. Only understanding and love were left between them, and a touch of ruefulness over how foolish they had been.

A blaze of light tore over the edge of the horizon, streaking the sky with rose and amethyst and silver-grey. Morning had come.

Izayoi smiled. "Trust me," she murmured into his jaw. His hearbeat thudded steadily under her cheek, resonating through her head.

"If you will trust me," he replied softly after a moment, tightening his hand around her shoulder.

She nodded, knowing he would feel it. "All right," she said, and it was a sort of promise.

"Good," he said wryly, tilting his head to lay against hers. "I am terrible at compromise, as I am sure you have noticed."

"I had noticed. I happen to be terrible at obedience and doing what's expected of me. I'll forgive you if you'll forgive me."

His lips pressed to her temple gently, holding there for a long moment before pulling away. "All right. Have it your way."

The sun clawed its way higher into the sky, pushing away the night star by star.

The darkness retreated sullenly in the face of the new, stronger daylight.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

A/N: I hope that made up for the long wait at least a little.

Thanks again, everyone!

Love,

Eia