Author's Note: So I was going to have this up a while ago. But with graduation and babysitting and crazy drama, I never really got a chance to focus on my writing. I will definitely try and update all of my stories more often, but college is in about a month so there's a lot going on. Okay so in this story, Lindsey has absolutely no idea who Lucas is, they have had no past romantic history whatsoever. (I can't stand Manfacee Lindsey) Anyways, here is the first chapter, hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill; Spin magazine is a legitimate magazine which I also do not own; and the title is a lovely song by Elliott Smith (RIP) which I also…you guessed it, do not own!

Chapter One: Going Nowhere

"The steps made a pattern

I'd never seen

I felt like a kid of six or seventeen

I was off in some empty daydream

Going nowhere"

Peyton stood in the kitchen of her boyfriend's apartment, trying to throw together a decent meal. Finally she was getting to spend the night alone with him, rather than with him and his annoying friends. She was going to take this as a sort of rebuilding night. It was time for them to get back to the way they used to be. In the beginning of the relationship, he was always taking her out places, wanting to show her off to anyone and everyone. She loved the attention, and the way he would act around her, like she was a goddess. Honestly, the fact that he was so sweet had surprised her since he had this bad boy, player status. But as the months of their relationship wore on, she started to matter less and less to him. They never left the house, he was constantly checking out other girls, and she had begun to feel like more of a maid then a girlfriend.

"Babe, can you grab me another beer?" he called to her from the living room. Peyton rolled her eyes and walked to the fridge, grabbing a beer and twisting off the cap.

"Of course I will honey. I'm trying to make dinner but I can certainly take the time to grab you a beer." she mumbled to herself before walking out to him. A warm smile plastered itself onto her face as she handed him the drink. "Here you go Jakey." she said sweetly.

"Thanks." he replied with a smile. His hand snaked to the back of her neck, pulling her mouth to his. His kiss was too enticing; she couldn't pull away from him. He massaged her lips gently with his own, and she didn't want the kiss to end. That was one thing that had always been the same with the two of them. Their sexual chemistry was off the charts. He was a great kisser, and the sex was good. Her friends think that that's why she stays with him, but it's not true. Well...not completely true. A couple loud knocks on the door make Peyton pull away from him.

"Are you expecting someone?" she asked curiously.

"Oh I didn't tell you?" he asked innocently. "I invited the guys over tonight. There's a big game on and we can't miss it."

"Last time I checked, they all had their own TVs." she replied, crossing her arms securely in front of her chest. "Jake, I thought we were going to spend tonight together." Even though he had done things like this more times than she could count, it still hurt every single time it happened.

"We are spending tonight together. Me, you, and the guys." She wanted to slap the smug smile right off his face, but she restrained herself. "Could you get the door? I'd get up but I just got comfortable here and I don't want to lose it." She simply stood up and walked to the door, sighing loudly in an effort to make her frustrations known. Of course, he didn't notice or maybe just didn't care. Peyton just smiled as his friends walked into the apartment, simply nodding at her and handing her the bag of beers they brought with them. She just shook her head and walked back to the kitchen, finishing up with dinner as quickly as she could. They were incredibly loud, and within an hour she had a fierce headache. The three of them ate on the couch, she basically became their waitress: getting them beers, bringing them food. After about six hours, they had passed out on the couch. Once again, the evening had been a complete waste. She decided to leave the mess for Jake to clean up, and she left. She was sick of this, but she loved him. At least, she used to love him…

"So let me guess, it was another night of him and his friends boozing it up and watching football." Julian said. Peyton and Julian were sitting at the local coffee shop, talking about the events of last night. It seemed like all they discussed was how awful Jake was to her, and how she needed to end it. "This silence just tells me that I'm right. Peyt, I love you, but you need to grow up and dump him."

"It's not that easy Julian…I love him."

"No, no, no. You love the idea of him. It's time to face the music. You stay with Jake because you don't like being alone. To you, it's better to be with someone who treats you like a doormat then to be alone for a month or two. I'm sick and tired of watching him walk all over you." Peyton just nodded her head, taking a sip of her latte.

"Yeah…maybe you're right." she said with a gentle shrug. The conversation always went the same every single time. He went off into long spiels about how horrible Jake was, and Peyton would toss out a few shrugs, sighs, and reassuring nods. Things with Jake were absolutely horrible, but she was just too scared. Her fear of being alone was something that she couldn't admit aloud, but she knew that it was true.

"B. Davis is here, what did I miss?" Brooke walked towards them, lifting her sunglasses up and resting them atop her head.

"The usual." Peyton said with a smirk. "Jake is an awful person, I deserve better, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera." She finished off her coffee with a final slow sip.

"I agree for the millionth time." she replied with a nod as she waved over the waitress, ordering herself a coffee frappuccino. "But, unlike Julian here I'm willing to accept that it's going to take you a while before you agree too." Brooke had been best friends with Peyton since they were little, and she accepted her fears and just went with it.

"Thank you Brooke." she said appreciatively, glad one of her friends was willing to just accept it. "Anyways, I'd love to stay here and chat about how awful Jake is, but I have a meeting to go to." Peyton said, standing up and tossing her bag over her shoulder. "I'll call you both later." She sent a smile to Julian and hugged Brooke for a moment before walking out of the café.

"You have to let her realize what a jerk Jake is in her own time." Brooke said to Julian with a warm smile. "Sooner or later she'll come around to it...she'll have to." she added assuringly.

"I hope you're right Brooke…I just hate seeing Jake walk all over her, she could do so much better." Brooke raised an eyebrow and leaned back a bit in her chair.

"Sounds like you want to be that better guy for her." Brooke said seriously. Julian sighed and slid his chair closer to Brooke's.

"No. I just want my friend to be happy." he said, emphasizing the word friend. "There's only one girl I'd be a better guy for."

"Oh yeah?" Brooke asked with a smile. "And what girl would that be?" Julian leaned closer, closing the gap between them and pressing his mouth to hers.

"You." he whispered with a grin. Julian and Brooke had been dating for almost two weeks, and still had yet to tell Peyton. They just didn't want their friendship to change at all, and they weren't sure how Peyton would take it. At first, Julian had wanted to be with Peyton; but she was dating Jake, and she didn't see him as anything more than a friend. So he had given up his little crush, for the most part, and started seeing Brooke in a new light.

"We really should tell Peyton about us…I don't want her to think we've been hiding it from her."

"But isn't that exactly what we're doing? Hiding it from her?" Brooke sent him a look and he raised his hands in defeat. "Alright, we'll tell her. Later tonight." He kissed her once more, pulling back and grinning when he saw the wide smile on her face.

--

Peyton hurried into the building, already five minutes late for the meeting. She had hit major traffic on the way there, and she had a feeling that her boss was not going to be very happy. But she knew that Lindsey would absolutely love it.

"I'm sorry. Traffic was a pain." she said apologetically when she walked into the meeting, quickly sitting down in her usual spot.

"You know that tardiness is frowned upon Ms. Sawyer. But I'll let it slide just this once." he said, sending her a look basically telling her that if she was late again, there would be consequences. "Continuing…we finished this month's edition, and we need to begin work on next month's immediately. Spin magazine is getting more popular by the day, and we need to keep up our high consumer ratings. So, does anyone have some suggestions for who should be put on the cover?" Peyton sat up a bit in her seat and was about to make her suggestion when Lindsey spoke up.

"There's this band Thriving Ivory…they're pretty new on the music scene, and I think that we should get the scoop on them before Spin gets the story." Peyton clenched her fists at Lindsey's suggestion. That had been her idea! What she didn't understand was how Lindsey had figured it out. Peyton had tried to keep the idea a complete secret, but clearly there had been a flaw in her plan.

"Brilliant idea Ms. Strauss, keep up the good work." This was the perfect time to stand up for herself, but Peyton did nothing. Who would believe her? Lindsey would just laugh in her face and the boss would never believe her. Either way she lost, so she decided to take her loss quietly instead of making a big deal out of it. "Alright, next topic is the Warped Tour. We need ideas on how we want to cover it." The meeting continued on, same as usual. Lindsey spoke the most out of everybody, but Peyton did manage to toss in an idea every now and again. Finally after two hours of brainstorming and giving out specific assignments, the meeting was over. Peyton quickly got all of her things together and left the building, without saying a word to anybody. She hated the fact that she was such a pushover when it came to work. Somehow she always ended up stuck with the worst assignments, and had her ideas stolen from her without her knowledge. But she was a doormat and let people walk all over her. It was this pattern she had unfortunately fallen into; it was like how she was treated when she was six years old. But she got to live her perfect life in empty daydreams… She got into her car, slamming the door, in desperate need of a black and white mocha. With her Dashboard Confessional CD on full blast, she pulled into the busy street, singing along to the music. She pulled up to a four way stop, pausing for a moment before continuing to drive. Before she knew what was happening, a truck was ramming into her side of the car. The man sat in his truck in shock for a few moments before climbing out of the car to make sure the girl was okay. A few people pulled over and stood watching the scene unfold.

"Don't just stand there, someone call 911!" he exclaimed in frustration. He walked over to the car and saw the girl's face pressed against the steering wheel. She was clearly hurt, and he couldn't believe he had hit her. He tugged on the door with as much force as he could muster, finally managing to get the crushed door open. "I'm so sorry…it'll be alright. I promise you, you'll be okay." he said softly, trying to decide what to do. He couldn't move her; if she had broken her neck then moving her could potentially end her life. She moved slightly and mumbled something incoherent in response. "I won't let anything happen to you…" he said, feeling sort of hypocritical considering he had just let something happen to the poor woman, he had hit her. He glanced away from her for a moment when he heard the sirens blaring. He brushed a hand through her hair, sighing softly. "It'll be okay…"