AN------------------------------------------------
A quick note: I was not procrastinating, I don't do that. The reason this is so late is not only because so many people keep talking to me, but also because I was FINALLY sent on a mission. FINALLY.
You know, sometimes you get the feeling that because you don't have a whirly-eye, an ugly arm, and are not the 'Destroyer of time' or something, you just get forgotten? Seriously, I don't see Lavi or Moyashi doing this?!? I'm not anti social, I am just not-talkative!!
Anyhow, my mission was simple. It was in the north of Africa. It was very sunny, and there was little shade. I would have gotten back earlier, if I didn't have idiotic finders there with me. Baka no Finders.
Not telling you anymore. You might stalk me. Now, on to whatever I was writing.
Ah, yes. Heh, this is more fun then I thought it would be. I am amused by the comments being posted here. All of them are positive, except for that one flamer. Screw you.
Anyhow, here is some fanfiction. I know I am not J.K Rooling or whatever the hell her name is, but I can still try, can't I?
Ready to read some fanfiction?
I get to kill Lavi.
I was walking in some corridor again, when that stupid idiot-rabbit walked by me with this grin on his face that made me want to rip it off his face.
"Howdy, Yuu-chan."
" My name is Kanda."
"Technically, it's both."
Grrr, I wanted to rip his disgusting red hair out! I mean, look at him: he wears a dorky eye patch to cover god-knows-what, he wears those scarves that look like they once belonged to a hobo, and he CANT FIGHT. All I have ever seen him use is that stupid fire seal. Jeez, once you've seen it once, the next few times just get boring. Get some new moves before you get massacred on the battle field!!
"Be quiet, baka!" I spat. "And also, STOP TAKING MY HAIR TIES."
"Teehee, I like taking Yuu-chan's hair ties!"
Ok, that was it. He continuously makes fun of my hair, and then steals my ties so I can't make it better!! That no good excuse for a human being!! I swear, he should just go die!! I don't understand how he has that many fangirls!!
"Now you are going to die!!" I unsheathed Mugen, but he didn't move. So I rose it to his face, and he still didn't move. Instead, he said:
"Yuu-chan likes pretty pink flowers, he has one in his room!"
And so I grabbed him by his hair and drove Mugen right through his neck.
The first thing that happened was that he opened his mouth to let blood rush out at he slowly crumpled to the floor upon release. It was slow, as if time had stumbled upon what had happened and had exerted pity for him.
The second thing that happened was that he stopped moving. When he stopped moving, his eyes went blank. I stared at him. Crimson was pooling around his form, staining his clothes, clinging to skin, and yet I did nothing. In fact, I rose Mugen to the sky…
And brought it swiftly down onto his lifeless form.
Tissue and skin was torn up, blood was splattering everywhere. There was not a single breath in his body, yet I flipped him over roughly with my foot and plunged Mugen into his chest repeatedly, making nice little holes that leaked still-warm blood. The motion was violent, and my body was moving by itself.
There was the cracking of bone somewhere, but I couldn't pinpoint where. His body jerked awkwardly as things inside him were pierced and then reduced to shreds of biological fabric, and his skull kept hitting the cold floor below with enough force to be heard.
Then, I added the final touch. I grabbed his hair, and in one swoop, chopped a good quantity of it off, letting locks of red hair spiral to the ground beside its owners body.
He was a mess. He didn't even resemble 'Lavi' anymore; it was just a mangled corpse on the ground. He was in a position that, if he wasn't so bloodied up and torn apart, would have looked like he was sleeping. I knelt down to his face, and smiled.
"That will teach you." I laughed softly. "Don't ever take my hair ties again."
AN-----------------------------------------------------------
I showed it to Lavi, and now he isn't talking to me. YES.
I KILLED HIM.
So, tell me who I should kill next week? I can't think of anyone else… (I cannot kill Komui, because he will make my report assignment longer…)
Anyhow, review time.
1. ShiraiHime:
Oh wow,you're asking THAT question?8D Okay then!Kanda gets what Kanda wants!
(KandaxAllen)=Has been my most favorite pairing for a year and a 's an awesome pairing because,well,it just whatever you want,but it seems like the most obvious that's my point of view,others may think that LaviYu or TykiYu is more anyway,Yullen is should read it sometime!xD Maybe then you'll know what I mean-I can't say how awesome it is in words xDD
!Yullen=I know you're pointing Mugen at me right now,but it's true!!Kiddy mush is cute!Especially if Allen looks so freaking adorable in his hood-thingie xDD Some people make this pairing into yaoi haha xDD shota!Alleen~~-hearts-
(LavixTyki)=I actually have no idea where this one came from,but after I tried it out,I couldn't see either Tyki or Lavi with anyone else!xD Don't know what else to say about this pairing haha..
I don't know why the sentences I send are screwed up by the way.I'm not retarded.
Oh,and good luck with the flamers and the rest of the report-thingie.
YULLEN FTW (it's in capital letters now yay!xD)
-ShiraiHime
-Sometimes I wonder where God has gone. Yullen? Why would you spend a year and a half wasting your life on Yullen? It seem's to be the most popular pairing, unfortunately. I will never read it. Or write it. Or do anything associated to it. Got it? Good, idiot.
Ok, that 'shota' one took it too far. I didn't even know him when he was little!! AND WHAT THE HELL?! Yaoi, at that age?! That is disgusting!! Ugghh, I cant even write down my anger at this point!! They should be arrested!! And so should you for liking it!!
'Lucky'… I have no comment on that. And I didn't say your retarded. I just said your internet speak was. Hah, I eat flamer's for breakfast. Actually, I eat soba for breakfast. But whatever.
Your capitals hold no meaning, baka. 'Yullen' has to be exterminated.
2. Kiete:
Aw, c'mon. ;D
Me again. I'm still bored, and I really don't feel like working on my own **, so I'm back again. To leave ridiculously long reviews, because that's how I roll [and before I forget... psst, program is spelled with one m and no e. C:].
Oh jeez. Don't even get me started on how old my friends are and how old they should be for talking like they do. Really. I'm younger than you ;D [but it might be possible that I'm taller... but again, not by much. xDD]! But not by much. Well... I guess I'm the only person that doesn't think of a year as a long time, so maybe it is a long time. I dunno.
Well, it's good that you think Lenalee and Miranda are okay. I mean, it'd be a little worrisome if you didn't. But eh. Yullen still makes me gag. I mean, seriously. Not only does it make you a pedo, it's just weird. And there are hardly any really good fics out there that aren't Yullen in some way. And I CAN'T STAND IT! –tears out hair- Yeah. You have such an interesting personality to write, and it's usually hard to pair you up with people anyway, so I usually don't read much with you and Lavi anyway. I mean, Tyki just has that spark where it's kinda like you don't have a choice anyway, so... xDD
Yes. I am very to-the-point. Here's a new point: Being asexual is not healthy. That's like you being in Opus Dei or something. And I can say that, 'cause I'm Catholic [and going to hell], but seriously. Not. Healthy. And dude. You have –no idea- how bad my friends are. One of my really good friends is a rapist. –coughs- Make sure you don't run into him, okay? It's not fun. Not at all...
Okay. Well, I guess I should actually get on to listing my favorite pairings.
1. Well... Don't hate me, but I'm a proud supporter of Tyki x Kanda! –waves sign- I said why somewhere up there. While I was rambling. Eh...
2. ..that's it.
3. Well, I kind of like Lavi and Miranda together... they're cute.
Yay! Um, I know I got carried away, but I'm used to writing. You should feel lucky you didn't get fifteen pages instead of less than one. So yeah.
I am a ** grammar Nazi, so bear with me for a moment. When you're quoting things, the period goes inside the apostrophe. Because it's 'grammar.' Snobs doesn't need an ' in it... neither does ties. Plural things don't. And there was one more thing... Aw, ** it. This review is too long anyway.
Peace out.
-Hello, my grammar correcting friend. Still bored?
I shall remember how to spell 'program' next time. Your friends must be really screwed up. And your younger than me, but taller than me?! Im 177cm tall. I grew 2cm over the series. And for some reason, people say that I'm short. So, how tall are you then?! I think of a year as time span closer to death.
Yullen is like a pest that won't go away, no matter how much I try. People don't realise that I'm 18, and he is only 16. Have you read the review above this one?! Me and Allen when we are children. Agggghhh!! I can't stress how much I hate it!! Che, I don't read fanfiction, so I wouldn't know what is good or not. I think any Yaoi is not good. I'm glad I'm hard to pair with people. I've got the feeling that people write me as someone who is happy and that likes people. And Tyki?! He's a pervert.
Being asexual is a way of life, just like you being catholic. 'Opus Dei?' What? And this guy, who rapes people, is a good friend? I'll say it again. Your friends are really screwed up. If he tries to touch me, I'll reduce his bones to splinters, ok? It's healthy, because I wont get sexual diseases and all that crap.
Wow, you are a one pairing sort of girl. Now, If only you could be a no pairing sort of girl. Lavi and Miranda? Miranda is an intelligent woman (and a very sensitive woman), and Lavi has the mental age of a two year old.
Your grammar correction has been taken in. can you see the 'changes?'
3. UnbornHope:
Well I must say Kanda-chan, you certainly are ...creative when it comes to writing in your friend's point of views. I actually enjoyed it to be frank. But seriously... kill Lavi? Pfft, please. You'd die two seconds later, for the great (yet admirably well hidden) Lavi army will smite you.
Yaoi...yaoi... Well lesse. I'm still trying to comprehend the part where people like the idea of a submissive Kanda Yuu- I'll look into that one- but I suppose people like you being uke because they want to see that facade of yours break and shatter, like the thin glass it is.
1. TykixAllen- Tyki is my favorite character. I can never figure him out, and that just makes me admire him. But there is one ground where I do understand him. He is a man born into a life of joy yet awareness, as pleasure goes, and is set between his reality of true happiness and the afterthought of loss. Allen is an unfortunate child born in the exact opposite side of Tyki's realm of knowledge. Therefore... luff.
2. KandaxAllen- Dunno. It calls to me.
3. KandaxNo one- Not for your comfort. I just don't have any other ideas for yaoi at the moment, and all these replies must be getting to your mind- So I'm trying to uphold of D. Gray Man peace and keep you straight for awhile. (Until the creator of D. Gray Man finishes the manga)
-You do realise 'chan' is feminine, right? 'Kun' is masculine, yet childish. And I can kill Lavi all I want. Did you like the fanfiction above? Did it please you? Good. Because I killed him, and you fan's can't do anything about it. Hah.
I am NOT submissive, that's just bad writing. I cannot be submissive, and I never have. Have I ever shown signs of being submissive?! Che, now I'm worked up!! My 'façade' is when I'm being nice to people. My real personality is hating everyone (which I do).
I enjoyed the poetry of your 'Tyki' part. I like intelligent people. However, Tyki mortally wounded Allen. Allen hate's him. Could that pairing be anymore than just rape?! Also, it's against the law. Tyki should be arrested, or better yet, executed.
Kanda and Allen. Yet again. I give up. I just can't see what people get out of this pairing!! I'm 18!! It's still illegal! And also, I don't want to touch him, let alone love him!! I'll get cursed!!
Yes, KandaXNo-one is the best one. I am straight, baka, and Hoshino will be keeping me straight. I'm going to have a word with her…
4. CarinaAiko:
This is EXTREMELY late but whatever.
Er... I am not a fan of Yaoi and I am proud of it. Yaoi as my friend quotes is 'uber HOT' hotness to the nth degree. And I have no reason why. You and Moyashi is a very intriguing pair but like that will ever happen. You and the baka usagi and the curly haired Noah as couples, is just weird to the nth degree.
(No offense)
Why you're always in Yaoi pairings is because to some people (not me) you look feminine. Oh yes and your hair. Well, I'm sure that in Japan it is perfectly acceptable to have long hair and your hair is much neater and moyashi's or Lavi's hair ne? Their hair probably gets in the way during battles.
You were also mistaken by Lenalee as a girl when she was eight but whatever. Anyway just wait till Lenalee's on a mission or something then you can kill Komui with Mugen hopefully at that point in time you will not be on a mission. That would be just plain sad.
So continue to rock on and kick butt ( not Allen's or Lavi's). I'll be waiting for my reply if you reply and you don't sound very much like Kanda do you? Too formal. Bye!~
- 'UberHOT' is not a word, and never will be. Give your friend a dictionary. I'm glad you don't like Yaoi. I see you have sense to realise that we are never going to be together, because it just doesn't work like that. Che, I don't take offence. Me and Moyashi would kill each other. In fact, I would kill him. He would just die.
Yes, yes, yes, my hair again. Those guy's just don't appreciate hair like I do! Moyashi's hair was crap in the first half of the series, and then it randomly got all spiky and horrid-looking. Lavi's hair is just a mess. My hair is supposed to be like that, but the other exorcists don't bother caring about any other country but their own (except Lavi, who has to know about other countries as a Book-man).
I remember that incident with Lenalee. She apologised a lot, which made it better. I can just kill Komui when she's in the building. I want to be on a mission!! It's boring here!! And I'm not whining!
I can kick whoever's butt I want, especially Lavi's. I have to be formal, because I would be kicked off for bad writing if I wasn't.
5. deathangel338:
-because you look good together and when you fall in love it's always with either your bestfriend or worst enemy don't know why it just is so it works out that way
(tykixlavi)-i don't know i just do god damn
-i only like 2(above two)parings for this anime
oh by the way hoshino-sensi is a guy i don't know why people keep saying he's a girl(i think he's gay)and there was one story where the pairing was you and Jerry forgot the name though and also if you don't like allen why did you 'smirk' when he said he would'nt forgive you and save him a couple times and follow lavi to the ark to go see allen at HQ when you heard him sing! admitte it you like him you so quite being in denial and get out of the closet you femey-faced bastered
-I don't know what love experiences you have had, but love doesn't work out that way. And me and Moyashi look horrible together. I look good on my own, and he still looks like a freak by himself. Lucky is getting popular. What, they see each other twice in the series and then they are in love? Where is the logic in that?!
Hoshino is a woman. Viz media who licensed the manga said that she was a he, but it's because she writes like a tomboy and they translated it wrong. Ok. Me and Jerry. The guy who make's me food. I'm not even going to bother with that nonsense.
I 'smirked' because I don't smile. I only saved him because as I had said before, I am not hauling his dead ass back to HQ and we have a shortage of exorcist's after the incident in Barcelona. I followed Lavi because I hated being stuck in that room, listening to Tiedoll rant on about crap!!
Femey-faced bastard?! Not only did that make no sense whatsoever, but who are you to say who I like and who I don't like? You are no-one to me. Remember that, idiot.
6. Vulpine1227
Kanda,
this is a really interesting... um, report. personally, you're my favorite character in d. gray-man... (smiles) since you want answers to favorite pairings, i'd have to say that
1. kandaXallen... sorry, but it's a really interesting relationship... (please please please don't gut me with mugen!)
2. allenXlenalee i know that it's probably going nowhere right now, but i still like reading the fanfics, they're interesting!
3. laviXallen again, a very... er, interesting relationship.
i'm not really a supporter for yaoi, but i do find that if a story is well written enough, it can be an interesting relationship that i would never have thought of in that way before. so, i'm neutral! (smiles)
P.S. i don't care if you hate this review, you're still my favorite character! :P
-I'm glad I'm your favourite character, because that means your not an Moyashi fan-girl. And I cant gut you with Mugen, because too many people on the internet like that pairing, and I cant take them all out. However, I will glare at you through the screen. It's a stupid paring that will never happen in a million years. In fact, I swear that as long as I am an exorcist, I will never love/like Allen. And trust me, I'm not going to quit the order anytime soon.
Allen and Lenalee is probably the most likely to happen. However, Moyashi doesn't have a loving bone in his body, and can't even hug her properly. He can't do anything properly. Lavi and Allen is also likely. The would have long conversation's about food and other crap that no-one cares about.
Good. Remain a non-supporter. Stories can be well written, but with Yaoi, you need to have a lot of imagination.
I'm still glaring, by the way.
7. StopLemons
Kanda-kun:
Gomen na sai~ I know this is late... but yeah. I felt that I should reply. I'm not sure why, but I felt like it... So here's my take on your..um...situation.
As for the yaoi, I'm not sure why most girl's have taken such a liking to this whole yaoi thing... I guess it's because they like to see men who are 'attractive' by their standards together. I personally don't have much of a tolerance for it, especially the random pairings; such as the one with you and the creepy butterfly Noah (Tyiki). I just don't get that one.. He seems to be more of an Allen person, in my opinion... I think the Lavi pairing is just because Lavi is well... Lavi... And you know... He seems awfully fond of you and the other male characters, if you know what i mean... (please don't kill me!)
I suppose people like to put you in the yaoi pairings because of your personality. You don't seem to show much emotion towards others. (I personally don't believe that you're a heartless bastard as some say. You show your emotions in a different way, ne?) Ano...I guess they just want to see you showing something towards another person, you know? I guess they also throw you in because of your long hair (which doesn't make you look like a girl, at least not in my opinion. There are plenty of masculine men with long hair)
I suppose that would also be the reason why people confuse you for a girl (your long hair). But again, I don't really get that... Have they never seen Sephiroth from Final Fantasy? He's got hair at least as long as yours, and he looks nothing like a woman (not that you do, that was just my example.)
Ano... That's about it I suppose... Yeah..
Ja ne~
-Good to see another person who doesn't understand Yaoi. Girl's should understand that men that are attractive want to attract women, not men. Me and that Noah are sworn enemies, so we would never get together. It's like pairing me and the Earl. Never going to happen. Oh, Lavi is just gay. But then again, he also like's girls. So, I guess he's Bi. I don't care, as long as he stay's away from me.
I don't show emotions, that's the point of me being me. I AM a heartless bastard, but I do care. Just not about people. But if I show emotion's towards people, then I won't be me, and therefore, there would be no point in writing at all. And people just call me girly because they are either jealous, or they want me to get angry at them. Che, these fan girls…
I know, my hair is a real issue. I'm getting sick of it, actually. I have never seen this 'Final fantasy' guy, but he sounds cool if he has hair like mine. Maybe I should meet him, and then we can kill all these people who think we are women?
I like you and your random Japanese. And the fact you called me 'Kun'. You can be in my good books.
(God, I am in a good mood today.)
8. SilentKiller1:
LOL means laugh out loud
ur means your
just keep dreaming if you think you can take me, because you cant.
look whos talking, baka (you are one)
are you sure you are not in love with your hair? im not crazy about my hair and i dont like people touching it
catch me if you can :P (should i walk so you can catch me?)
(LavixAllen)
(LavixKanda)
Toodles Yu-chan!
-You again? I can take you any day. If you haven't noticed, I'm an exorcist, and you are what, just a person? I'm not a baka, you are. And I love my hair, because I have to live with it, and therefore, I have to love it. I don't like people touching my hair, but losers like Lavi touch it anyway.
Why couldn't I catch you?! Have you not seen how fast I am?! If anything, I'll walk and still catch you. And judging by your list, in which I am in every pairing, you need to get caught and maimed.
It's KANDA. KANDA!!!!
9. ScarletFirez:
I do have a life!(I think) Yes, you and moyashi. I know that you would love to spend some alone time with allen. You're just in denial~ *dodges Mugen* Your hair does look girly! But I never mistaken you for a girl before. I knew that you were a guy in the beginning. Well, I love men with longer hair. Oh and People won't stop loving you, yuu-chan! :D
KandaxNo-one, LavixNo-one and MoyashixTimcanpy. Hm.. I pick.. neither of them. I don't care what you're going to say, but you and allen together is the best pairing ever(in my opinion). So stop denying and go make out with Allen or something.. I know that deep deep DEEP down inside, you would love to do that. You being with Lavi/Tyki is nice too. XD But then again, I prefer Lavi being with Lenalee or Tyki. (TykixLavi is my second fav! X3)
Can't wait to see your 'report'.
PS: The story was...interesting? In a weird way. Heh
-I would want to spend some alone time with Moyashi so that I could harm him in some way. And like you could dodge Mugen!! I never miss!! Good, you have great eyesight if you can see my gender. Unfortunately, I know people wont stop loving me. Be careful, I'll get a big head. And my name is Kanda. KANDA.
Your opinion. I could go make out with Allen, OR I could ignore him completely, glare at him when he walks past and attempt to kill him every time he tries to talk to me. Hm, which one should I choose? Oh, I know, not the one you want me to do.
Deep, deep down inside, I want the world to realise that I hate them all, and that my cold exterior is not a face, but a true reflection of my emotions. No-one could ever understand that. Lavi and Tyki and Lenalee can be with who-ever they please. I just don't understand where TykiXLavi comes from!! Its random!!
Here it is. My story above was a lot more fun to write.
10. WrathofMugen:
Wow I loved the story! So filled with violence!! *sighs happily* Ok so now to the question Kanda-sama asked! *talking to self* Um I would have to say that for my favorite pairing it would be KandaXNo-one because Kanda is my favorite, and no-one is worth enough for Kanda to be with them. For the second one it would be EveryoneXMoyashi-chan because Allen is very cute and pretty and looks like a innocent little girl. *shivers* ew if someone puts down something like...I don't know LaviXKanda I will personally kill them that's just disturbing. It makes me sick when people write yaoi stories and put Kanda-sama as an uke. I mean come on! He doesn't look at all like a girl or even act like one! Oh and for all those people who say Moyashi-chanXLenalee...I will kill them too because she is a **! *smiles innocently* Well that's all I have to comment on the question. Bye Bye!
-I like your name. It's a good choice. Also, if you loved that story, you must have adored this one. Kanda-sama? Your just putting me into an even better mood.
KandaXNo-one? Now, your just flattering me. Hah, I like it. No-one is good enough for me? Very nice. Moyashi looks like a girl and could be dominated by anyone in the world, even by someone like Miranda.
Finally, someone who understands!! I can't be an Uke!! It's against my personality!! Yes, I don't act OR look like a girl!! I'm more of a man than Lavi!! A Lenalee basher? I was waiting for one of those to show up. Why do you hate her?
I hope you comment back. This will be interesting to read.
11. kenzigirl
I love you. So you are now under my favorites. (Did I do that last time? Ah well..)
You are mean! But so cute and I cannot resist! Okay cuteness, here goes the pairings.
1. KandaXAllen
2. KandaXAllenXLavi
3. LaviXKanda
So yes, Moyashi and you together is my favorite because first, because you are handsome and pretty and Allen is short and cute and also because you gave him that adorable nickname! But also because deep down, I think you really care about him. You don't need to hide your feelings, Yuu! Also, your complete opposites and opposites attract! Well maybe not complete opposites because you are both competitve and have tempers.
Then I like KandaXAllenXLavi becuase three bishounens is even better than two! And also Lavi would be sad if he was being left out...
Lastly I like LaviXKanda because, well, I read this doujinshi where you, Yuu, gets turned into a cat boy and a cat brain and Lavi protects you but he misses the real bitter and sour Yuu! It is so cute!
So this is a really long review and I'm sorry! . But I still have some advice to you! I noticed in your responses to other people that you seem to hate yaoi because it strips you of your masculinaty (sp?), which it does not! Well some people do...but not really! I mean, with Allen you are supreme seme and even with Lavi you can top from the bottom! So don't be afraid like that. It's okay, Yuu! So for the real advice, I think you should search for some yaoi fics and read them. You might like it!
Sayonara! X3
-YOU CALLED ME CUTENESS AGAIN!!! IF ONLY I COULD HURT YOU RIGHT NOW WITH MUGEN!!!
I see that I am in all of your top pairings. You must be a real fan girl. Which is not always a good thing. I am handsome and pretty, and Moyashi is SHORT. However, my nickname for him is not adorable. It's the truth. He is a bean sprout, no matter what he says!! We are opposites, which is a reason for us not to like each other.
…THREE?!?!?! You are the first one to say that. I am mortified, again. No, I would be left out, because I would willingly leave. If me and Lavi, or me and Moyashi was unlikely, then that pairing is impossible.
Ok, ok. I get turned into a cat boy and have a cat brain. I don't know what planet the author of that is living on, but it's not earth. One, I would NEVER be a cat boy. Two, Lavi COULDN'T protect me, even if he tried, he would loose interest and abandon me somewhere because of his incredibly short attention span, and three, just… ugghh. I am BITTER and SOUR and I don't think anyone would miss that.
It does strip me of masculinity! But I am not an Uke, I am dominant!! Does my personality not show that? NO. I will never read Yaoi, NEVER!!
12. IceNin55:
Well, out of those three, my favorite is KandaxNobody, LavixNobody coming in second. Mainly because you, Kanda, are not the kind of person to have a relationship. And although I will admit that Lavi probably likes Linalee, she likes Allen/Moyashi. Not him. Plus, he's a bookman and can't be in a relationship anyways.
Oh, and, just a warning, but... That 'I kill Moyashi' bit? It sounded really, REALLY...gay. There, I said it. But Allens point of view (exept for that cleverly inserted 'I love Linalee' bit) made it sound like he's in love with you, what with all the awesome adjetives. Just thought I'd let you know that you probably made some yullen fangirls very happy. Good luck with that.
-Thank you for realising that I don't do relationship's. Book-men don't have time for relationship's, that's why they are so Horney all the time. Even Book-man fell in love with that Noah, Lulubell.
Why did it sound gay? Che, I did kill him. Plus, I am no good at titles. If you haven't noticed the title on this whole report. Also, he admires my manliness, which most fan girl's don't do for some reason. Yullen fan girl's shouldn't be happy. I killed their idol. Unless they like that.
13. kenpachi-sama:
also alot of my guy friends like yaoi and well hehehehehe they are straight. also one of my teachers likes yaoi, he has a girlfriend. it was funny when we found out. me and my friend were looking through his teachers closet without permision, and there we found it a yullen yaoi book! it was super halarius. and no my teacher is not wierd, he acually put clorine in his hair to see if it would turn white for an expierment, and this is what he learned, brown hair turns red if you put clorine in it (he has brown hair) he is also super cool. we made an anime club inside the school for the first time and i had to write an eleven page report about why we should have an anime club. i am the secretary and i helped make the anime club. so this is to prove that straight guys and gay guys can also love yaoi, at any age. god i have alot of free time. i wrote two freaking long review what the hell?
Kenpachi-sama out!
-Your… Guy friends like yaoi?! AND they are straight?!? What?! You invaded your teachers personal space and found YULLEN!!?!? Wait, what you are telling me is that you went through a MALE teachers closet and found a yaoi about me and MOYASHI?!? He sounds like a nutcase, and he's going to get arrested sooner or later. Also, his hair is going to fall out.
You have an anime club? I bet all you do is talk about yaoi all day. Yes, you do have a lot of free time. Wait a second… you have two reviews?!
14. kenpachi-sama: (AGAIN!)
well, why people like yaoi is (mostly girls and some guys) is (in my opinion) that homosexual relationships are acually some of the best relaionships, and some of the best relaionships you can write about. for one thing it is either forrbiden* (can't spell), the person the charecter likes is stright, and alot of other things. Also, why they pair you up with allen and lavi is that girls like two sexy guys with each other plain and simple. did you know that d. grey man, and hitman reborn are the two top straight animes that you can put alot of yaoi parrings? it is true. and why the put you with tiki (butterfly guy) is that they find elasped times in the anime, fil in thoses gapes with the encounter of that charecter and there is the story and the yaoi. i personly like you as the 'seme' (the person that is on top if you know what i mean. and the one that is in charge) i hate you in yaois that you are the "yuki" (sorry don't know how to spell. it is true that you are straight in the anime it just well we are board at home and we need something to do also why people call you a girl is that they haven't seen really hot guys before. it is not your hair, and if you cut it off i will personaly kill you. lavi in the anime is not gay well maybe 'lavi' is but 'deak' is not. if you don't know who 'deak' i he is the 48th personality of lavi's. 'lavi' is just pretending to be you guys friends, and acting like n idiot on purpose. he acually acts like you, crazy huh?! also i hate leenalee with any of you guys includes lavi, you, and allen. to me she just gets in the way. sorry for all leenalee fans i am sorry just expressing. my friend also got me into yaoi, and well the first anime that had really good anime yaoi couples was yours, sorry. i will gradly say though that you are awsome, sexy, cool and perfect. also i was you for hallowen, surprisingly alot of my friend say i look like you but i tell them i do not look like you. literally where did they get a mexican (thats me) looks like an asin (thats you) its just because i am white and have asin eyes, no offense. hop-e this helped you i think. please don't kill me with your cool katana *hides under table* hope you don't kill me and you finish your homework report!!
Kenpachi-sama out!
-… What a long second review. It makes my eyes hurt just looking at it. -man is very straight, which I guess is why people make pairings for it. But as for filling the gap's in with ME and TYKI, that's just stupid. They should follow the real storyline, and see that we hardly even meet each other.
I AM a seme, I know what it mean's. And the other is 'Uke,' not 'Yuki.' Yes, I can see that girl's are bored. They… haven't seen hot guy's before? That, or they are just blind, as people keep telling me. And you can try and kill me, but I assure you, I'm not cutting my hair off.
'Lavi' certainly has a different frame of mind to 'Deak.' I think he does like us, he just stray's from his actual job of being a Book-man. I think he is just sick and tired of just sitting on the sidelines, as Book-men have to do. Ugghh, why am I talking about Lavi like this?! He's a moron!!
Lot's of people hate Lenalee for some reason. I like your compliments. Seeing as I am in a good mood today, I will accept them. Thank you. Wait, you were ME for Halloween? As in, Cosplay?! I'm not sure whether to take that as an insult or not, but I know that in some place's Halloween is just an excuse for cosplaying. (I'm talking about America, of course.)
Your Mexican, I'm Japanese. Mexican's are supposed to have tanned skin, do they not? I mean, they live in a very sunny country. I'm pale. Your friends really are blind. I won't kill you with Mugen. I will just threaten you silently with it.
Now that I'm done with your very long review's, I can honestly say that that was tiring to write.
15. E. R Burke:
Wow Kanda... That short little story was pure poetry. Or something like that.
I'm going to say that KandaxNo-one is the most logical answer. In all honesty, it's not as if you give a care in the world about relationships. Lavi will get a girl... maybe... eventually... If he doesn't somehow offend her first... And then, 'Moyashi' rather likes Lenalee.
As for your hair, if you're still going to keep it tied back, you should try making the pony-tail lower. It's more recognizably male that way.
-Thank you. I thought my writing was fine.
I DON'T care about relationships, but only a few people can see that. Lavi will TRY to get a girl, then she will realise her mistake and dump him. He is too friendly to everyone, if you know what I mean.
Moyashi has a thing with her, and her, him. I mean, they dream about each other. What the hell. And if I make my ponytail lower, then it wouldn't be Japanese, which would make it pointless. I actually prefer my hair out, though it get's in the way more.
16. kimi-chanchan:
I have to tell the truth. That fanfic made me laugh! I really liked it. Hurry with the Lavi fanfic would you. Why did you think Allen would think Mugen is sexy? That's weird even for you to say. P.S.: I am a girl you know (You probably knew that already.) Now back with the Yaoi. I am not really obsessed with it, but I do enjoy reading it. Also people call you a girl because of your long hair. What other reason would there be? You look like a girl? No you don't. Allen, I have to say looks kinda like one.
-Glad you liked it. Did you like my Lavi fanfic? I loved it. Moyashi would think Mugen is sexy, because one, it is, and two, he's jealous. Really, really jealous, because I have a beautiful sword with a fine cut and he was an ugly, cursed arm.
I knew, your name has 'chan' in it. I'm glad your not obsessed and wasting your life over it. My hair is an ongoing issue with me looking feminine (which I don't). Moyashi on the other hand, is a total woman. I mean, he cries constantly, and he has big, round eye's like a female. That loser.
17. ScarredWitch:
(Forced, angry laugh)
Okay, before I say anything, let's get one thing straight, especially since you called me a 'Bastard,' an insult usually directed at men, nowadays, ...I'M A GIRL, YOU INGRATE! A TEENAGE GIRL WELL ON HER WAY IN THE WORLD! CAN YOU NOT SEE THE "WITCH" PART OF MY NAME?!! THAT WAS WHAT A WOMAN WHO PRACTICED MAGIC WOULD BE CALLED, IS IT NOT?!! So, IF you're ever going to insult me again, AT LEAST HAVE THE DECENCY TO EMPLOY A GENDER-APPROPRIATE INSULT, you son-of-a-gun whose temper is SHORTER than Allen Walker's DIMINUTIVE height!! I don't care if it is the ULTIMATE insult of the world, I'LL COMPARE EVEN MORE OF YOU TO ALLEN IF YOU EVER MISTAKE ME AGAIN! YOU DON'T SCARE ME!
(See, I have a temper, too! At least I DON'T DENY IT!)
Okay, let's get on to business. First of all, as a member of the western world, I have to say it is not stupid! It's just that most of its inhabitants haven't really studied world cultures! AND DON'T SAY OUR HAIRCUTS ARE WEIRD!
Look, it's not that girls like Yaoi because they get nosebleeds (they might as well have a coconut hit them in the nose!), the nosebleeds are a side effect. These girls read Yaoi because, for some reason I'm not sure yet, it's better than reading girl/boy stories. I'm not sure, I guess they don't like reading about an attractive boy kissing another girl. In some cases, the stories can be very romantic and tender. But, this from a girl's point-of-view;
I'm not sure how you would gag at that.
Can you see the logic in that??
And, I thank you for your admiration of my boy/girl stories, but know this: I write my own stories, with my own characters. Do not assume that I even write FAN FICTION! That's the only reason I read Yaoi, to get some ideas about any romantic scenes that could happen with my main characters (it's the whole hero/heroine concept, I take a bit of this story, I mix it up and change it and I add it in to the story). I am neutral on the idea of Yaoi. Do not EVER assume ANYTHING about me AGAIN! I HATE it when people think they know what wrong with me or they think they know what I like, I HATE IT! AND WHY DO PEOPLE THINK IT'S STRANGE THAT I HATE PINK AND THAT I'M A BLACK-AND-SILVER KIND OF GIRL!!
*exhales* Sorry, had an anger moment there.
As for the question of how men engage in love...do you really want to know? Because trust me, YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
And put that away! *whacks Mugen away* I'm not a fighter, but I'm not afraid of someone who's just a year older than I am.
By the way, it's not about people who care too much, it's about people who care about you. You are reckless when it comes to battles, and I know about the lotus. It don't matter if you like your "friends," they just want you to be around as long as possible. I'm not asking you to care, I just want you to know that.
*Exhausted Sigh* Phew! This takes longer than my drawings, but anyway! Yes, I have a question and I am not asking for your permission. I heard from a friend that you are interested in gardening, according to the -Man Fan Book he read. I'm not sure whether or not I believe him, but is that true? (AND DON'T CALL ME AN IDIOT!! (Yes, I know what "baka" means.))
Until Next Time,
The Scarred Witch
P.S.
I read some of the replies you sent to your reviewers, some of which made me laugh my head off, but still - DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT WE GIRLS HAVE NOTHING TO DO!! SURE, THERE ARE THOSE EVIL, BITCHY, PINK CLAD FASHION-ZOMBIE BULLIES THAT HURT OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELINGS, AND HAVE NO BRAINS WHATSOEVER, BUT THERE ARE GIRLS OUT THERE WITH PRIDE! WHO WORK HARD IN SCHOOL, ARE DEDICATED TO THEIR OWN MANGA STORIES AND ARTWORKS, AND WANT TO STUDY WORLD CULTURE OR SCIENCE IN THE FUTURE! (Do not compare to the scientists at the Black Order).
And, uh, what you did in your reply to ShiraiHime's review...I beg you, please, PLEASE don't EVER do that again! No, it was NOT funny!! I almost lost all respect that I have for you, so, as a fan, PLEASE DON'T EVER DO "THAT" AGAIN!
-HAH! I was waiting for this. I knew this was coming. Bring it on.
A manly insult is nothing, when you have hoards of people calling you a GIRL. Also, you want to shout? FINE.
I'M NOT AN INGRATE, AND I CAN CLEARLY SEE YOUR NAME, BAKA!! HOW ABOUT YOU COME TO THE ORDER AND INSULT ME WHERE I CAN ACTUALLY HURT YOU, EH?! AND MY TEMPER IS FINE, LONGER THAN YOURS IN FACT!! I SHOULD SCARE YOU, BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME!! AND ME AND MOYASHI HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON AT ALL!!!
I DENY IT BECAUSE I USUALLY IGNORE IGNORANT PEOPLE!!
Western-world girl, most of your people haven't studied Asia and the other eastern parts. They just think they know a lot because they watch anime a lot. And your hair-cut's are weird! I am entitled to opinion!!
If a coconut hit girls in the nose, their nose would be broken and then they would be crying. Yaoi has the same effect, hm? Che, I can't see how it would be more interesting than reading girl/boy stories, which are a lot harder to write because you need to stick to the character's personalities more. I think some of these girls are jealous that people like Lenalee hang around with Moyashi so much.
I can see the logic in that.
You write with your own character's, then. Fair enough. I hate it when people assume things about me, like when they think I like MEN or that I want to be stuck in a room with the MOYASHI. It's annoying, isn't it? I like the colour blue. Or black. I hate pink.
Actually, I don't want to know. I'll have nightmares.
Oh, you are 17? Interesting. I thought you were Moyashi's age or something. (Hah, I'm assuming things about you again.) And don't touch Mugen. Only I touch Mugen. It's mine, and I am not afraid to say that I have possession issues.
I am reckless. But I want to win. I was very careless when it came to that battle with that Noah, Skinn. And now, I have been forced to be careful with it. People care to much, however, and it's awkward, because I don't know what to say to them back. And it's that that annoys me the most. I wont be around too long, the way thing's are working out…
Ugghh, you got me all sentimental!! I hate you!! I hate you so much, I am going to personally dismantle your body!!
You draw? I draw, sometimes. I use ink and Japanese art pen's, though it is hard to find good ink sometimes. And about your question. It seems like a cruel joke to me. No, I don't like gardening. I only know about Lotus flower's, because I have to. Other than that, I know next to nothing about flower's. I said so when I went to the village with the 'witch' in it.
Congratulation's, you know a fragment of Japanese! (I am being sarcastic.)
True, there are SOME girl's like that. However, most girls I encounter are not like that. I have the feeling that the second half of that rant is YOU, not girls in general. I don't think I could compare them to the people of the Order, who have dedicated their lives to innocence.
You don't like internet talk, eh?
Zomg wat u talkin bout I dunt no wat 'that' is lol speak English plz kthnx.
(Hah! Take that, baka!!)
18. Replica of Twilight
Now, now Kanda be rational.
First off I hate Yullen pairings, there are a billion stories. I do read Yoai, and a magority of the fact is that girls love hot men, you are considered hot. (though addmitedly I liked to make fun of you when i first started reading -Man.)
I speak the language of Komui, hate the sin, not the sinner,
Hate horamones, not Yoai.
Truthfully people who read yoai are usually girls who are single and bored, and have not hot guys in their town, thus endulging themselves in fictional hot men and their romantic struggles.
Thank you and have a nice day.
-Good. I'm glad you share the Yullen hate. I don't want to be considered hot by these people, I don't know them. But they don't listen to me, so I don't bother. You liked to make fun of me? How nice. Thank you for admitting that.
Komui doesn't know what he is talking about. He's an idiot. I do hate hormones. And Yoai.
Yes, single and bored girls fit the category nicely. I like your explanation. Yours has to be the one that makes the most sense so far.
Thank you. Have a nice day too.
19. Seengot:
Dear Yuu,
We like:
1. A good three-some between Lavi, Allen, and you.
2. LaviXAllen
3. SoubiXRitsuka (Wait, does that even count?)
We know your gay, so hurry up and come out of the closet. Your life will be much easier.
We also know you will end up losing your virginity to Lavi. (Or would it be Allen?)
Also, If you want people to stop mistaking you as a girl, just get a gender change! Then people will mistake you for a man!
Oh we're so smart!
- ANOTHER person with the 'three-somes.' WHAT possesses you to like that nonsense?! It's disgusting, and WILL NEVER, EVER happen!! LaviXAllen is more likely. We all know that Moyashi is so girly, he could practically BE a girl, and Lavi just likes to touch people.
Who the hell is Soubi, or Ritsuka? What girly names.
I'm not gay, and my life is perfect as it is. I should know, because who knows me better than me?! Ugghhhh!! Loose my virginity to LAVI?! Can men even loose their virginity to other men?! And if they could, then it wouldn't be with LAVI OR MOYASHI.
I am NOT getting a gender change. Your theory makes no sense, but it is amusing. How long did it take you to think of that?! Then I would get guy's drooling over me!! Che!!
20. Kiarra-Chan:
LAVI! RUN! Ok, "Fangirl Momment" is over. I'm a fan of AllenXLenalee, it's a really cute pairing if it's written in the right way. Also you & Lavi is starting to grow on me as a friendship pairing. You & Lenalee seem to act as siblings whenever you two are alone in the actual storyline of the Manga, so I've already rule that one out as an actual pairing. If you want a reason to kill Lavi read my "Poker Faces, Pranks, & Mysterious Vials" fan fiction. Just don't kill me.
(If you need a better program there's a site that I know of that's a spellcheck site. My computer has the same problem as your's does, so I use that site all the time. It's either that of I'd recommend finding a Beta for this.)
-Lavi can't escape, he's dead now. (Well, in my fic he is... If only he was dead in real life, too.) AllenXLenalee is bound to happen eventually. Good, because then he can't get paired with me. Also, it's so obvious. Me and Lenalee are like siblings, since us two have known each other for eight year's now. I allow her to hit me with clipboards. Oh, I will see that fanfiction. If it's Yaoi, I will kill you.
I don't like Beta's. I would rather find that site. I'll go on a hunt for it.
I am seriously going to read that fic. Be warned, I will come after you.
21. Timcanpy:
Yuu-chan, this IS a fanfic... o.o
Yuu-chan, you really do have weird issues on your tiny skit...
at least you made a lucky guess on moyashi loving Lenalee.
also I love being asexual. :) you can do whatever you want. right right asexual man? if you get kicked out, then I can't play with Yuu... besides, this is how Yuu-chan really is right?
tim can do ANYTHING!! :D
you just don't see me do many things because you don't pay attention to MY master.
no i put everything to me. have to do everything myself. (the real me)
the real me really does want to be gay, but i ended up being a girl.
if you don't want to look bad, then be slightly nicer :) Yuu's always nice to Lenalee.
hm... his existence is really amusing though... and all i can say is: i'm just saying.
if i said "stupid" then... wouldn't that be mean? you're pushing myself to being a bullying... which i'm trying to get away from that for a while but i ended up becoming one anyway.
i'm not going to say the last part and grammar thing, but hope Yuu-chan can read well.
I'm going to wait for your next report. (laughs)
-Grrrr, it's you again. It wasn't a fanfic before I put fanfiction in it, duh. And since when did you have permission to call me 'Yuu-chan,' you annoying little ball?! Moyashi DOES love Lenalee. And you would have to be asexual. No-one would fall in love with you or engage in sexual act's with a gold ball with really sharp teeth.
I will make sure I don't get kicked out. You can play with my golem or something, just leave me the hell alone, you pawn of the Moyashi.
Tim, you can do nothing. Of course, I hate your master, I don't want to look at him. And what are you talking about? The real you IS a ball. You are a gold ball that lives in Moyashi's shirt, Ne? I'm nice to Lenalee because she doesn't torment me like the other's do.
His existence is meaningless. He cannot fight to save his life. Be a bully, you know that your master is just using you and doesn't love you. I can read very well, thank-you very much.
Wait away, Baka. And tell your master to stop attempting conversation with me. I don't want it.
22. kitten. dream:
Thanks for your comments Kanda...
Anyway, my favourite pairing out of the three would actually be 1. Kanda X No-one
-No problem. Im glad to see more people supporting KandaXNo-one, because it seriously is the best. You didn't have to choose mine, you know. You could have said your own pairings. Mine are just my favourites.
23. SengetsuPwnzU:
NO! NOT THE ADORABLE LITTLE ALLEN-KUN! *sobs*...ok im over it
ok, now im going to respond to what you've learned k? well yes or now im gonna doit anyway
1)no **!! well unless they're gay or something
2)only a few, but they mostly write that cause thats what happens in a anime/manga
3)you are!! your smokin' hot yet at the same time kinda girlie-ish
4)NEVVA! its too smexxii to give up with it!
5)true...but you get paired with Allen more though
any now my favorite pairing
KandaXAllen
LaviXTyki
AllenXKanda
haha! XP
-Hah. I'm glad you enjoyed my little fanfiction.
1. Quite a lot of people have told me that they have male friend's that like Yaoi. I don't even want to know.
2. I don't understand why they have nosebleeds, though. Since when does that happen?!
3. … I have nothing to say about that. Though I'm not girly-ish.
4. No, it's hideous! I hate it so much, that damned Moyashi, I'll rend him in two!!
5. I know. It's unfortunate, ne?
As for your pairings, they are quite standard. Why is your number three the same as your number one? Can't you count? It doesn't matter which way you put it, it's still disgusting.
24. Boss-07:
All right, even though you've asked a new question, I'm going to respond to the first one. Sorry if that annoys you, but I've got a theory that I believe to be relatively valid. Research has shown that roughly 70-80% of fanfiction writers are female. Of that 70-80%, probably 50% or more have written a story with some form of yaoi in it.
You relaize what this means, right? Girls are actually just as perverted as guys, but instead of being open about it like most guys are, they keep their fantasies to themselves. After all of this build-up, they find fanfiction and suddenly have a way to release all those pent up thoughts in a way that can be completely anonymous (keeping their thoughts hidden from people they know) and is relatively under the radar of most everyday folk. This way, they can be perverts and still blame us guys for acting the exact same way without having to worry about being called hypocrites.
Oh, and maybe people like to see you as a girl so that they can justify pairing you and Allen/Lavi/otherhotguy together. Just an afterthought...
Now my points may seem a little far-fetched, but I think even if they're not completely right they have some truth to them. I don't enjoy reading yaoi at all. It's not really the concept that bother's me, but the execution. Most of the time, they jump right into the relationship (which is not normal in real life) and give no reason WHY they feel the way they do. Most of the time it's "oh we're both attracted to each other so let's get together without any real development to our relationship and still be completely in love!"
The main reason for this is a simple fact: girls do not know how a gay guy really thinks or acts. They have never been a gay guy (although I suppose with science these days anything is possible...) and write what the ones in their fantasies do, completely ignoring the reality. Now even though it could be said that heterosexual fanfiction writers make up how two characters would interact with each other in a relationship, it's not the same. When writing a boyxgirl story, heterosexual writers KNOW how to at least write one of the characters, being that they will be the same gender. However, when a girl writes a boyxboy story, she has the problem of not being able to easily identify with either male.
Now I'm not saying that a girl can't write a successful yaoi story. I'm just saying that due to handicaps and little to no information regarding real gay guys or relationships, most are the bad drivel that we see so commonly. So there's my two-cents Kanda. Although now that I look back, it seems more like 60 cents...
Stay cool, Kanda.
~Boss-07
-Your theory is well thought out. I see what you mean about perverted girls keeping themselves to themselves. After all, their reputation would be ruined if it ever got out about what they were writing. I don't know why more guys don't write fanfiction, really.
Che, girl's. I know, we have such a bad reputation for being perverted, when the world hasn't seen what they are writing online.
I get it. One of those stories where it starts off with the people in love, with no real thought at all. They miss the point of 'being in love' completely. These stories on here even have situations which involve me and Moyashi as children; we didn't even know each other when we were children!
Your part about the 'girl not knowing how a guy thinks' is completely rational. Maybe this is why there is always a 'uke' or more feminine character in the relationship?
Thank you for making sense. You are one of the few that do.
And so the fun train continues. What I have learnt from this chapter:
1. MOYASHI. I detest YULLEN!! It is the most popular pairing.
2. LaviXTyki is popular, too. Then again, so is MoyashiXLavi.
3. People hate Lenalee?
4. Straight guys sometimes read Yaoi, for some odd reason.
5. I need sleep… some of these comments keep me up at night.
NEXT QUESTION:
This one is the last question. And this is serious.
WHY DO PEOPLE WRITE MPREG?!
I mean, it doesn't even make sense!! I expect answers to be a thought out, please.
From, Kanda.
Ps: Grammar Nazi's are welcome here.
Pps: I am nearly finished the report!!