Hey guys, I hope you like the first chapter. I know it was short; it was actually planned that way. The setting to my story will be similar to like "The Perks of being a Wallflower." (Kind of like a diary; journal for those who haven't read the book)
I hope you like it; I have good feelings about this! I don't know if anyone wrote stories similar like mine, but it just came to me just like out of nowhere and I just HAD to write it. It started to bother me since last week and today I just gave up and started to type away!
(S/N)
-future quotes/cast are from Supernatural
-future lyrics belong to its original song writers
-Future Charlie's quotes belongs to The Perks of being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
-I only own my OC's and minor OOC'S.
Enjoy idjits!
XX
Chapter two: Our Perfect Nightmare
"So this is my life and I want you to know I am both happy and sad and I am still trying to figure out how that could be."
-Charlie
Dear friend,
Do you know what is like to live at a psychiatric ward? Well, imagine this: you lie awake in your tiny bed, underneath the itchy salmon covers, your neck is sore from sleeping on one pillow (you ask for another one but you'll need a doctor's order to have more than one.) Your sleep medicine has worn off and you are now once again a prisoner to your insomnia. The only thing that you can do now is to listen to your roommate mutter to herself in her sleep and the sound of the nurses talking and phones ringing at the nurses' station. Imagine just lying there in your tiny bed and remembering the nightmare you had the night before in which you were trapped in a car that was filling up with water, drowning and gasping for air. For a moment you think it was a nightmare until you remember that it was another memory, no dreams, no random episode, no nightmare, but a memory.
You have a scheduled time planned for you. We wake up at 7 A.M. in the morning or as the techs likes to call it: Morning Checks, where they pass by and bang on your door as you have started to drift off in your sleep and inform that you must be up for breakfast in thirty minutes.
The psychiatric ward is just like high school minus the classes. Here's the complete schedule:
7:30 A.M.: Breakfast
8:30 A.M.: Community group. You discuss at length the rules and regulations of the hospital (only use the phone for ten minutes at a time, bath buckets are under no circumstances to be kept in your assigned room, no towels or food in the rooms, and no physical contact with other patients.)
9:30 A.M.: you meet with your most amazing psychiatric, Dr. Wells.
10 A.M: Cindy and I get to hang out for a bit and talk about random stuffs
11:30 A.M.: Process group with your social worker.
12:30 P.M.: Lunch Time
1 p.m.: Vital signs checkup
2 p.m.: Recreational therapy
2:30 p.m.: Education group
4 p.m.: Visitation hour
5 p.m.: Line up for dinner
8 p.m.: Closure group (it is where you review your daily goals you have set for the day. I find this pointless actually because our only goal is to escape this hell.)
9 p.m.: Night meds (a very popular time for obvious reason.)
9:30 p.m.: hang out at the common room.
11 p.m.: Lights are out.
No person wants to go through this, and no one likes to have a scheduled planned for them. There have been days where patients have a mental break down, few attempting suicides in different ways. The buildings are categorized by four: the top left floor are for the bulimics, top right are for depression/bipolar/and anxiety also known as the "screamers", bottom right are for who tried to suicide themselves or also known as "silent death", and last but not least; the bottom left are for people who hallucinate or "dreamers."
That's where Cindy and I are placed.
It was nighttime already and Cindy was knocked out. I took the pill earlier, even if I didn't want to; I was forced to take it. For me, it took forever to take effect so I just laid there staring at the pale ceiling and started to remember the day where it all begun.
"Our perfect nightmare." Cindy told me one day and I agreed with her. It was our sweet, bitter nightmare and well worth it while it last. I still refuse in to not believe that it never happen, because it did. I was there, I felt the impact, and so who are they to tell me that I am imagining things?
Friend, the doctor didn't tell me to write a diary, but a friend of Cindy and I told us to write. It was the only thing that kept us sane because only we know what really happen. So, if one day you'll ever find this journal just know that perhaps Cindy and I made it. Maybe we are with them, or maybe we are six feet below. If anything, just know that our hearts are finally free from the cruel world and living to our free will.
I cannot sleep so I will start to tell you how it all begun.
It was one Saturday evening and Cindy and I were getting ready to go to a convention to meet and greet our favorite celebrities from a show that we obsess called Supernatural.
Cindy Holmes and I have been friends since high school, since then we had been inseparable. We were more than friends, we were practically like sisters but I guess any best friends would say that to each other. Cindy is like the older sister, the leader, the enthusiast, adrenaline junkie, the hippie. I love Cindy, I just love her and without her…if anything ever happen to her I could never live with myself. Besides Him keeping me sane, Cindy was always the opposite of me, who kept me looking at the bright side in everything.
Cindy is very beautiful, gorgeous young woman. She has long red semi-wavy hair, blue eyes, fair white skin but somehow she has no freckles.
Me: "I still don't get how you don't have freckles. It doesn't make sense to me."
Cindy: "I used to have freckles when I was younger, Sammy. Some of us are lucky, most of us; not so lucky." She explained. I still believe that she dyed her hair. I know she does. Cindy is a very sporty girl, the type of girl that guys droll over. She has the beach body, the good looks, the right things to say at the right time, the soft voice. She is just one of a kind, while I on the other hand, I'm just an original.
I'm a nerd when it comes to comics, food junkie, music lover, a book lover, I used obey to rules and didn't ask questions, I don't exercise whatsoever yet I somehow I am in good shape…a little bit, I was always the shy type of girl, the quiet one as well. I have long dark brown hair, brown eyes and little acne on my face thanks to the meds. My face used to be clear, but now it's not clean. Cindy says that I stress too much and it is the main reason I get acne.
Anyways, like I was saying earlier, Cindy and I were on our way to downtown to the SPN convention. It was a late October afternoon; it was three days after our painful and headaches mid-terms ended and we didn't have class on Friday. Our professors at our college were kind enough to give us the three day weekend off to rest our minds.
The SPN convection begun on that same Friday and Cindy and I were ecstatic to go and meet our men crushes. It was the first time they were coming over to our city and we didn't want to miss it for the world.
Nothing or no one was going to get in our way.
Boy, was I wrong. Apparently destiny had another plan for us.
We lived at campus, outside of the city and it would take us about thirty minutes to get there. Like always, we can never set time because if we did, we would never follow it. We were supposed to leave at 12:30 P.M. but we ended up leaving at 4:30. It was dark outside already since the time changed. If it was summer, there would still be light out, but the sun was setting at this point. I remember what I was wearing that day as well.
I didn't want to dress up very cliché because I knew a lot of fans would dress up as a hunter, (which by the way, that is what Cindy did) I ended up wearing a pair of ripped jeans, a lose black tank top that had a white, black logo that represented my favorite band; Guns N' Roses, with two guns on each sides with roses sticking out of the pistols. On top of that I had a green and black light jacket, my black and white converse, and of course I had my salt and burn necklace along with one small silver wing, and the small pentagram. I was representing of a boy band instead of our three men.
"You should've dressed up like a hunter, Sammy." Cindy told me as she was driving her black '79 pick-up truck. I sat back and looked at her; she was wearing dark jeans, brown combat boots, a flannel with a gray V-neck and a leather jacket over. I crossed my arms on my chest and said, "You know, Sammy sounds like a fat little girl with problems," I pouted, "also, I don't want be 'in-the-crowd' I want to stand out." Cindy scoffed and put a finger up.
"One, props for almost quoting my husband, two; we are supporting them! By wearing your band shirt shows that you're not interested." She pointed out. I shook my head, "Dean likes Gun N' Roses."
"Dean, but does Jensen likes Gun N' Roses?" does he? I was so into Dean Winchester that I never got the chance to stalk Jensen Ackles life. I made a mental to myself to ask him if he likes Guns N' Roses, and when I met him; before we got separated, I never got the chance to ask him.
Unfortunately, we never made it to the city due to the detour. The detour to our death as I used to say. The day was good to a nightmare. We lived in campus and we always pass through the Ellen Road and there was never a construction site. Ever. The detour sign indicated to follow through the forest trail.
Tell me who in the right mind places a detour through the forest? I had a bad feeling about that in that moment. I told Cindy that we should go back and take the long way, but she refuses and 'Follow the sign.'
Cindy: "Each sign has a symbol, a symbol that would lead us somewhere."
Me: "Like a walk to our death!" I panicked. She didn't listen because she was gut believer but my gut told me to jump out of the truck and go back to the dorm. I didn't, I rather stay with my friend. Cindy was never wrong, so I believed in her and sometimes depended on her. Well, most of the time I did.
Driving the forest was the creepiest and scariest thing to do. Especially on the month of Halloween. At night, the forest looked scary; the trees looked like the ones you see at a scary movie, loose, brittle looking, and dark by the distance. I looked outside of my window and for a moment I saw a dark shadow, for a moment I thought it was a deer or a bird flying by. I looked forward and we saw a dark tall shadow heading towards us and Cindy lost control of the truck as she tried to avoid hitting it, whatever it was.
Everything happened so quickly. One minute the truck was rolling down with us inside and then the next minute, after the rolling and spinning it stopped. Everything was quiet, that type of scare quietness that you knew something much more worse is about to happen. I looked to the driver side and I saw Cindy unconscious and blood on the corner of her forehead and her nose.
"Cindy," I cried out for her. She opened her eyes slowly and looked at me, "What…happened?" I tried to unbuckle myself but the buckle was stuck, my shoulder was hurting and my head as well. I started to taste blood inside of my mouth.
"We have to get out of here, Cindy." I told her.
"I can't move!" She started to panic. I tried to help her but I couldn't even help myself. So I did what I do best; "Help! Somebody help us!" We started to hear dogs barking and the wind blowing. We started to see dark clouds outside of the truck.
"Cindy? What's going on? Cindy!" I called her out as she tried to move and unbuckle herself.
"How the hell should I know? Sam try to unbuckle yourse-"that's when we felt a strong force hitting on the track. The hit was so strong that it sent us to the lake. We were sinking in and we were stuck.
"We're sinking! Cindy, we are sinking!" I shouted.
"Samantha! Stop panicking and get the knife from the glove compartment!" she instructed, but I couldn't move, I was too scared.
"NOW!" I shakingly tried to reach for the glove department. The more I moved, I felt a pain shooting down to my spine and I was scared the more I moved I hurt myself more and more. We were sinking in slowly, halfway through and the water was coming in through the vents. I opened the glove compartment and looked through the mess to find the mess. As the seconds pass by, the faster the water came through. The water was freezing cold and it was up to our waist.
"HURRY!" Cindy shouted. I found the knife; it was a small red chromed pocket knife.
"I got it!" I told her.
"Ok, good. Now, cut your seatbelt and then cut mine. But quick!" she instructed. I was surprised that she was calmed while I panicked. I nodded and tried my best to cut the belt, but it was too late, we felt something pushing the truck down and the water got in much faster. By the time I managed to cut free, I was already too late.
We didn't get our last breath, Cindy was already unconscious and I was the last one alive at the moment. I banged on the windows and screamed which was pointless. I was losing force, my nose were burning and my body was filling up of water.
I never ever thought of the ways how I could die, it never came to mind. This though, this was the worst possible way. Especially when I feared the darkness and water.
I was screaming as I drowned in my worst nightmares.
Well, the pills are taking effects. I am going to sleep now, I will continue tomorrow.
Goodnight friend.
-Sam.
Xx
Hey guys!
So what do you think so far? Good? Bad? Let me know! The info about the description of the psychiatric ward I got it from "A Day in the Life of a Mental Hospital Patient" by Jennifer O'Brien