(Soon after the episode where Lionel and Clark had their bodies swapped, the wednesday100 topic was "body swap".)

When Lana found herself magically transformed into Clark, she immediately started snooping around. "No more secrets!" she rumbled.

Soon she discovered her old meteor-rock necklace. It had turned white, but she'd recognize it anywhere. After all, it was all that remained of her poor dead parents. The other stones in the same box were glowier than typical meteor-rock. She ignored the weird feelings that were probably just a side-effect of the body-transfer, and held up the brightest two. They'd make wonderful earrings!

Unfortunately, so much kryptonite right next to Clark's alien brain caused a stroke.

Poor Lana was killed.

Darn.

(Then I wrote a longer sequel to that Darn drabble, from Clark's point-of-view.)

When Clark somehow got trapped in Lana's body, he spent the first two hours just being confused. By the time he managed to get out of the house and pay attention, his own body was already dead.

There was nothing for it but to be the best darn Lana Lang that he could.

He broke up with Jason first thing. ("I'm sorry. This just feels wrong. Can we still be friends?")

He finished all Lana's classes, even though he hated French, and went to Grandville Community College, just as she'd planned. He got those crazy mutant ants that followed him around everywhere to save people and fix things all over Lowell County, instead of just spending all their time singing and carrying on.

After he graduated, he moved to Metropolis and took to prowling the city late at night with some of his Giant Krypto-Ant followers, saving people from crime and rescuing kittens from trees. He always wore a pink outfit (to honor Lana's memory) and a mask (so people couldn't identify him.) The newspapers called him "The Insect Queen."

Clark got a job at the Metropolis Daily Shopper. (He'd never known what Lana's actual grown-up career plans were.) Lois was toiling away at the Daily Planet, and Chloe was setting the Inquisitor on fire with her hard-hitting investigative skills. Clark was mainly stuck doing the gardening and cooking pages (Mom and Dad -- well, Martha and Jonathan Kent -- helped him out a lot by answering all his questions), so he thought it was nice of the Sullivan-Lane cousins to include him in all their "Smallville Grrl Reporter" activities.

It was at one of those (they crashed a huge charity fund-raising ball) that he finally met up with Lex Luthor again. Lex had gotten really good-looking and sexy over the years, but he seemed sad. He didn't throw them out, and he danced with all three of them. Then he danced with Clark some more.

Clark told him the whole story the following Spring. Lex might or might not have believed him -- Clark could never tell -- but they got married anyway.

And had a million babies!
:-)