Inner Conflict ― II
"Unh."
There was a muffled clattering noise as Rukia's Zanpakatou slipped from her hands, landing on the grass beneath her. Her knees followed the Zanpakatou as she fell, barely managing to sit up straight. She rested her hands on her knees and doubled over, breathing hard.
"I see…so you're just trying to kill yourself, then?"
Rukia turned her head up to glare at Sode no Shirayuki, who was standing over her, obviously not happy with her bearer. Rukia scowled.
"I'm not trying to kill myself―"
"But you're doing a good job."
"All right, all right, I get it." Rukia sighed. "No more today, understood."
"No more for a couple of days." Shirayuki amended as she watched Rukia stumble up. "I'm not letting you die over something as trivial as achieving Bankai."
Rukia shook as she tested her legs carefully to see if they would hold her weight. Damn it, she wasn't going to be able to walk straight for a week.
"I'll get it even if it does kill me." She vowed, glaring at Shirayuki. The manifestation of her sword sighed. "I've been training for almost twelve years―"
"But you're more motivated now." Shirayuki finished the sentence.
"Meaning?" But Shirayuki was already fading. "Hey, wait, answer the question first!"
Too late. She was gone. Rukia swore under her breath and started making her way slowly back to the thirteenth division. She'd gone to the place where she and Kaien had always gone to train. It seemed appropriate she would train there for Bankai.
It had been two days since she'd returned from Hueco Mundo. That was a mission that had been completely unsuccessful. They'd gone to rescue some prisoners of war, and had ended up bolting before they could get anywhere near the prison. Oh well…maybe the next group would have better luck.
"So there you are." The voice came out of nowhere, surprising Rukia, who whirled around and, in turn, nearly lost her balance and fell over. Ichigo was sitting in a tree, laughing. "Where do you disappear to during the day, anyway?"
"None of your business."
"You look like hell."
"No worse then you look on your best day."
"Funny." Ichigo jumped out of the tree, landing surprisingly lightly considering his size. "Seriously though, what do you do up here? You look like someone kicked the crap out of you."
Well, technically, someone did. "Something wrong with your ears? I just said it's none of your business." Rukia started to walk away. Ichigo was right behind her.
"Fine, be that way." He sighed. "So Renji was telling me about your scouting mission. Guess it didn't go so hot, huh?"
"Ya think?" Rukia rolled her eyes. "I mean, you don't see any of the missing Shinigami hanging around, do you?"
"Welcome to war." Ichigo sighed, shaking his head. "It's terrible, innit?"
"Yeah. Just do me a favor and stay off the frontline. The last thing I need is to haul you back to Karakura and throw you back in that damn hospital. Orihime-san and Ishida might be mad at me…"
Ichigo blinked, surprised. It had been six months since his prolonged stay at Karakura's local asylum. For the longest time afterwards, Rukia had been unable to look him straight in the eye and talk at the same time. And while he had been able to make jokes about it for the longest time, she had always acted like he was saying something terrible when he tried, so he'd stopped, of course. Of course he'd stop, if it was hurting her.
"You know I'll fight if I'm needed."
"Yeah." Her shoulders dropped noticeably, the strong façade gone, for the moment. "That's what makes you the annoying idiot you are."
"And I'm proud to hold the title." He grinned at her back. He could tell, from the disgusted noise she made in the back of her throat, that she was rolling her eyes. He was about to say something, shoot back some insult, when he saw her wobble a little. It was a small movement, barely noticeable, but his eyes were sharp. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine." She pressed, sounding annoyed. "Don't you have a division to be running? For God's sake, there has to be something you could be doing that's more fulfilling then annoying the hell out of me."
"Sorry, but that's what I live for." Again, he knew she was rolling her eyes. She was so predictable. "Anyways, I left Momo in charge. Things will be fine there. And hey, what about you? Hasn't Captain Ukitake on bed rest for the past few weeks? I'm sure there's something you could be doing that's better than a nature walk."
"Funny. He said he felt okay today, and where I've been taking over his duties and mine he said I could have the day off to rest."
"Doesn't look like you were resting to me."
"Oh be quiet. I didn't ask your opinion." It was Ichigo's turn to roll his eyes. So stubborn, so annoying. Just one of the many reasons he loved her.
Yes, he did love her. He would never admit it to her (it had taken him months to admit it to himself), but the feelings were there nonetheless. He couldn't ― wouldn't ― make them disappear.
On the other hand, there were some things he wished he could make disappear.
"So how's…he been acting?"
And that was one of them. The damned hollow he'd once had under control. The fifteen years he'd spent out of his head had weakened that control. And ever since the mess with Aizen, the hollow had felt more motivated to break out. It was all incredibly annoying, really.
"Quiet. For now. I actually haven't heard from…from him in awhile. I was kind of hoping being away from Aizen would shut him up."
"That would be too easy."
"You're right. Easy doesn't flow with us."
"Well of course I'm right―"
"Don't let it go to your head."
"Oh be―"
Before she could finish the sentence, a hell butterfly fluttered down towards them. Rukia lifted a finger for it to land on.
"All captains are to report to meeting room one immediately." She repeated the message, smirking as Ichigo groaned. "Haha." She paused. "All vice-captains are to report to meeting room three. Damn it."
Ichigo's smirk mirrored her own. "Haha." He said mockingly. If looks could have killed…
"The list of missing has been extended to include the third seat of the eleventh squad, Ikkaku Madarame, vice-captain of the ninth squad Hisagi Shuuhei, and vice-captain of the eighth squad Ise Nanao. The list of dead has been extended to include captain of the fifth squad Iore Michio and fourth seat of the eleventh squad Ayasegawa Yumichika. That is all."
Everyone listened, their heads bowed, as the messenger read the most recent of the war's updates. The vice-captains missing from the meeting were too noticeable for any of them to ignore. Matsumoto looked particularly somber. It was no secret that she had been close to Hisagi.
These were, of course, disappearances everyone knew about now. Captain Kyouraku had been surprisingly quiet since his vice-captain had disappeared. It was almost unnerving.
"Terrible." Isane murmured, leaning against the wall, her eyes closed. "So many people…and for what?"
"For war." Rukia's voice was harsh. She tried not to get stern during meetings, tried to keep her head about her, but sometimes she just couldn't help it. "If we weren't fighting, even more people would be dying right now. It's as simple as that."
"It isn't easy." Matsumoto spoke before someone could contradict Rukia, knowing the raven-haired Shinigami wouldn't like that. "No one wants to fight. But at the same time, we don't have a choice."
"Have their been any reports from the living world ambassadors?" Tetsuzaemon asked Choujirou, bringing them back to the reason for the meeting. It wasn't to discuss the morality of the war.
Rukia scowled. "They have names." She muttered, crossing her arms in a stubborn way. Everyone ignored her, as they usually did when she got sulky.
"We received a brief report the other day. No change there."
"Of course not."
Morale was low within Soul Society. With so many missing and even more dead, the outlook for them looked grim. They could win, but at what cost?
"I'll kill him if he lays one finger on either of them!"
Toushirou waited for Ichigo to finish his small rant before returning to what he had been saying. "You can see the risk of letting either of them leave Soul Society, of course, especially to let them go into Hueco Mundo. They're strong, but when Aizen wants something, he's relentless. He'll get it no matter what. You saw what lengths he went to just to get the Hougyoku. Killing off Central Forty-Six, condemning Kuchiki Rukia to death, trying to kill Hinamori Momo, Kurosaki, Kuchiki Byakuya, me ― the list is fairly extensive. The point is, he'll do anything to get what he wants. No limits. Letting Kuchiki or Hinamori into Hueco Mundo would be the same as putting them to death."
"Which you've done before, to Rukia at least." Ichigo's sullen mutter, of course. Everyone ignored him.
"Captain Hitsugaya," Yamamoto spoke at last, "I understand your concern. And under normal circumstances you would be right. But as of right now, we can't afford to take anyone off the front line, vice-captains especially. You know, of course―"
"Yeah, I know." Yamamoto didn't get it. Hitsugaya had to make him understand, somehow. "Third, Sixth, Eighth, and Ninth Divisions have all lost their vice-captains." The respective captains grimaced upon hearing their company mentioned, even solemn Byakuya. "All the more reason to hold them back, I say. We can't afford to lose anyone else."
"It can't be helped. This is war. Casualties will happen. Losses will be suffered. It is all for the greater good, in the end though." Yamamoto's indifferent attitude did not please anyone, even his former students. "I'm sorry Captain Hitsugaya, but your request can not be filled. That is all. Dismissed."
Everyone left, a couple with mutinous looks on their faces. Ichigo cornered Hitsugaya outside the meeting room. Ukitake stood behind the orange-haired captain. Both were obviously concerned for the safety of their own vice-captains ― and Ichigo just as much so for Rukia.
"You're sure it's them he wants?" Hitsugaya sighed. He'd expected doubt, denial. It was a person's blood.
"Look, I told you what I heard. The Arrancar specifically said something about Aizen's vice-captain. That's Momo. Matsumoto drew the conclusion of Kuchiki on her own. They're definitely after two other Shinigami. Kuchiki being the second one just makes sense."
Ichigo's fingers were itching. He wanted to go and find Rukia and never let her out of his sight. Unbeknown to him, Hitsugaya felt the same way about Momo.
"What kind of world do we live in?" Ukitake muttered, shaking his head. "When even the most innocent are targets―"
Ichigo snorted. Rukia, innocent? About as innocent as a murderer with a bloody knife. "We'll just have to keep an eye on them." Hitsugaya said finally, his arms folded. He was deep in thought. He didn't notice that he had extended the plural to include himself. Ukitake and Ichigo had.
"You should be more concerned with your own division, Hitsugaya-kun. We can take care of ours." Hitsugaya blinked.
"What―"
"I'm not letting anyone else get hurt." Ichigo vowed, his eyes narrowed at the ground. "I swear it."
They stood in silence for a minute. "We have to make sure this doesn't get back to them." Hitsugaya said finally. "I'm not worried about Kuchiki too much, she's strong, but Hinamori…"
"I'll make sure it stays away from her ears." Ichigo promised. The captains split up and headed off in different directions, all with very different thoughts in their minds.
"So soon, Rukia? I thought we agreed you'd cool it for a couple of days."
"You agreed." Rukia protested, raising her sword. "I, on the other hand…well, let's just say the sooner I get Bankai, the better. Especially now."
Shirayuki nodded. She knew, of course, what was going on. She knew what Rukia knew. And Rukia knew that Soul Society needed strong soldiers now more than ever.
"If you're going to be stubborn, then I have no choice, do I? Let's begin…"
The air around Rukia grew cold. She raised her Zanpakatou, already released, in front of her, eyes closed, bracing herself.
Something struck her from behind, pitching her forward. She hit the ground beneath her, gasping for breath. The ground felt cold now. She knew she was no longer in the grassy training area she had learned to love. She pushed herself up, eyes open now. It didn't matter. The area around her was completely black.
Shirayuki's voice now spoke in her head.
"Are you sure you still want to do this?"
"Yes." Rukia replied, her voice strained. She wouldn't back down now. She couldn't. She was close, she could feel it.
"Then turn and prepare to fight."
She turned around, sword raised. Shirayuki was standing behind her. "You know what to do."
She did. Strike Shirayuki. It should have been simple.
It wasn't.
Author's Note: I haven't decided whether or not I want to give Rukia a Bankai. On the one hand...she deserves one, strong as she is. On the other, I'm not actually creative enough to try and come up with one :shrug: Do you think I should? Say so in your review. Of course, to do that, you'd have to review. So...review please! -- Sam