Inner Conflict ― V
"Ah!" Ichigo shot up in bed, gasping for breath. "God damn you." He groaned, dropping his head into his hands. "Get out of my head."
Make me, the hollow taunted. Ichigo growled.
"Why've you been so quiet anyway? Trying to lull me into a false sense of security?"
Not quite. Good guess though. Nah, I just haven't had any reason to come out. Now though…
"What do you mean you haven't had a reason? Isn't annoying me enough?" Ichigo blinked. "Wait, what's changed?"
The hollow laughed. Come on Ichigo, even you can't be that dim. You must realize who's here. Well, not here, here. But here in Soul Society here. Well?
"You've lost me."
Of course I have, and he fell silent again.
"Hey, hey! Get back here, answer my questions!"
Silence. "Bastard." Ichigo growled under his breath, lying back down on his bed. "Gah, screw this. I'm not going back to sleep."
He threw the blankets back, scowling and muttering, annoyed. Wonder what a full night's sleep is like, he thought distantly as he grabbed a jacket and threw it on, storming out into the cold night. He'd never conformed to wearing the old-fashioned clothes of Soul Society. He was too stuck in his own ways, refusing to get rid of his jeans and t-shirts when he was home at night.
The streets of the Seireitei were quiet, dark, empty. Perfect for Ichigo, who wanted to be alone.
"Ichigo?"
Or not. The orange-haired captain looked up and found himself staring into the violet eyes of his ever annoying companion.
"Rukia. What's up?"
"Right back atcha." She walked over to him. Ichigo noticed she was in her Shinigami robes. "What are you doing up this late?"
"What are you doing up this late ― and fully dressed for that matter." She made a face.
"I…fancied a walk."
"Couldn't sleep either?"
"Nope."
They walked in silence. Ichigo realized that this was the first time they had been alone together in awhile ― alone and not arguing, at any rate.
"So what brings you out at this late hour?" Ichigo jumped and looked down at the Shinigami walking beside him. Fifteen years of separation truly hadn't changed her.
"That annoying voice inside my head."
"Hearing voices isn't a good sign, you know."
"Well. I've already gone crazy once, what's one more time?"
"Yeah, right." Rukia's voice was low, distant. Ichigo sighed. He never knew when it was the right time to make jokes and when to just shut the hell up. "So then the hollow is…"
"Yeah." Ichigo ran a hand through his spiky orange hair. "I don't know what he's playing at. Seems to think there's someone here worth coming out for. He wouldn't answer me when I asked what he was talking about though…"
He felt Rukia stiffen beside him. What's her problem? He wondered silently.
You really are stupid, you know that right?
Shut the hell up. If you don't have anything useful to say, then keep your opinion to yourself.
"What do you think he meant?" Rukia's voice brought him back to reality. He shrugged.
"Who the hell knows? And right now, who really cares?" Ichigo sighed. "I just wish things would go back to normal."
"Normal. Right. What's that again?"
"Good point."
They both sighed. Ichigo looked down at Rukia again. She looked distracted, upset. He had half a second to wonder what was wrong before she said, "Take a picture, it last longer."
He scowled. "Aw…shut up."
She smiled a small, tiny smile. He rolled his eyes, then yawned. "Ah screw this." He murmured. "I'm going home and going back to bed."
"You do that. I'm going to walk for a little while longer."
"You are?"
"Yeah. I need to…to clear my head."
"Whatever." Ichigo stretched his arms over his head as he turned to head home. "See you later Rukia."
"Yeah."
He hadn't gotten that far away before he turned to look at her retreating back. "Hey, Rukia?"
She turned to look back at him. "Yeah?"
But the words he wanted to say sounded stupid, even in his head. "Ah…don't get lost."
"You're funny."
She didn't get that his words held more than one meaning.
"You look like hell." Toushirou said conversationally. Momo had disappeared for a little while, and he'd finally tracked her down to their old home, the place they had lived before they had entered the Shinigami Academy. The place had been abandoned for years now. "And why are you here, anyway?"
Momo looked up into the captain's emerald green eyes. "What? I don't know, I needed somewhere to go, to think. What do you want anyway, Shirou-chan?"
"I suppose telling you not to call me that would be a waste of breath?" She didn't answer. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Why do I even bother sometimes…"
His voice trailed off into annoyed mutters. He sat down next to Momo and looked up at the sky. He could still remember sitting there many years before, eating twice his weight in watermelon, trying to ignore her meaningless babbles. It seemed like an entire lifetime now. So much had happened, so much had changed.
"So you came here because you needed somewhere to think?"
Momo shrugged, her arms crossed tightly over her chest. "Yeah. You know…I came here a lot after Captain — after I woke up after what happened the day of Rukia-san's execution."
Toushirou's face tightened. That was a day that would be burned into his mind for as long as he lived. He would most likely bring it into whatever afterlife he traveled to as well. His thoughts burned with hatred for Aizen, as they often did these days.
"Shirou-chan?"
Momo's voice brought him back to reality. "Yeah?" He answered, not even bothering to complain about her nickname for him.
"Do you think I'm a bad person?"
He raised an eyebrow, surprised. He was usually good at identifying what Momo was thinking. At the moment though…he was coming up blank. "What the…hell would make you ask a question like that?"
"Because…" She sighed, wrapping her arms tightly around her legs. "Because…even after everything he's done…even after all the terrible things that have happened, even knowing all the people he's tried to kill…has killed…if Captain Ai— if Aizen were to appear in front of me right now—" I'd kill him, Toushirou thought venomously, "and give me an order, I wouldn't be able to disobey. I…I can't, Shirou-chan. I just can't."
Toushirou listened to this silently, his eyes on the ground. He was surprised she couldn't feel the hate radiating off of him. That bastard. If Aizen were to appear in front of them at that moment, Toushirou wouldn't just kill him. He'd tear him into tiny little pieces, chop the pieces up into even smaller pieces, and feed them to the rodents. No. Aizen wasn't even fit to be rat food. Toushirou would be happy when the day came that they would be entering Hueco Mundo to fight. Because when that day came…Aizen would die. Toushirou would see to it personally.
Momo was watching Toushirou anxiously, waiting for his answer. "Shirou-chan—?"
"No, Hinamori." His voice was low, almost inaudible. "You're not a bad person. Not at all. You are, without a doubt, one of the best people I've ever met. You're good, and pure, and kind, and you don't have even one drop of hatred in you, which is more than any of us in the Gotei Thirteen can say. You're a wonderful person, Hinamori, as far from bad as they get. And don't ever forget it."
Momo's eyes filled with tears. You're wrong, she wanted to say. Wrong. I'm not good, not at all. I'm a traitor, a traitor! Why don't you see that?
Toushirou saw her tearing up. Oh great, what'd I say wrong? Aw damn it, why do women have to be so confusing?
"Hinamori—"
"Shirou-chan—" She sniffed, rubbing her eyes, "Toushirou, Captain Hitsugaya…thank you."
Something was definitely wrong. He couldn't recall a time in his life she had ever called him anything other than Shirou-chan.
She stood up. He stood with her. "Hinamori, talk to me. What's wrong?"
She shook her head. Was this, he wondered, payback for not telling her what was going on? She'd guessed something was wrong, guessed that he knew, and he had refused to tell her. Was this her revenge?
"Hinamori—"
Without warning she flung her arms around his neck, drawing him into a hug. He floundered for a second, unsure of what to do. For everything she was, Hinamori Momo was not one to display her emotions. Not like this.
And she was crying, her face buried in his shoulder. He sighed and wrapped his arms tightly around her, holding her close.
"It's all right." He murmured every now and then. He was terrible at comforting people. But he loved having her here in his arms. Here, where he could protect her from everything. Including herself.
"I won't let him touch you." He whispered in her ear. She bit her lip so her thoughts wouldn't accidentally slip out.
Too bad he already has.
You're really starting to annoy me.
Well you've annoyed me for awhile King. So I guess we're even, aren't we?
Oh shut up. What's with you lately anyway? You were quiet for a bit. Why can't you go back to doing that?
I told you, King. Things have changed. I think it's time you get those ears of yours checked, Ichigo.
If I was hearing you with me ears, I'd have bought earplugs a long time ago. If only it were that easy.
"You look like you're in deep thought."
Ichigo looked up and saw Rukia staring down at him. Her face was impassive, as usual. "Yeah." He looked back out at the water. He was sitting by a river just outside of the Seireitei. "Guess I am. So to speak."
"Talking to him?" Rukia sat down next to the orange-haired captain. He nodded. He knew it was no use trying to hide things from her. Things like that. "Does he have a name?"
The question surprised Ichigo. "No…I guess not. He never told me if he does. I've always just referred to him as the hollow."
"Ever thought to ask him?"
Tell her to buzz of, would ya? She's starting to bug me.
I don't know, there's something in what she's saying. Do you have a name?
Wouldn't tell you if I did.
"He says he wouldn't tell me even if he did." Ichigo shrugged. "He's a pain in the ass, really. I don't know why I even care."
I notice you neglected to tell her the 'back off' part of the message.
She wouldn't listen to me if I did. She'd stay just to annoy me.
She's annoying. Can't we just get rid of her?
You'd better not lay one hand on her! I'd kill myself before I let you hurt her!
I'd like to see you try. It'd definitely be interesting.
"Talking to him now?"
It was so confusing, trying to hold two conversation at once. "Yeah. I wish he'd just can it. I'm getting tired of listening to him."
Rukia nodded, looking out the water, her eyes empty. "Hey…Ichigo. Can I ask…him something? Or…can you ask him for me?"
Ichigo was surprised. No one had ever tried to speak to the hollow other than him and Zangetsu. "I…I guess so. If you want to."
Rukia didn't say anything at first. She narrowed her eyes at the water. "The hollow…it's a part of you. But it doesn't…want the same things you want. So then what…what does it want, if not the same things as you?"
Power, of course, the hollow spoke instantly, screw right and wrong, it's all about the power, who cares where it comes from?
"Power." Ichigo spoke the word aloud. Rukia nodded.
"And it…doesn't care what price it has to pay for that, right?" Ichigo nodded, surprised. "It would do anything for power, betray everyone, sacrifice millions of lives, all for the sake of power. Am I right?"
Girl's got it. I am interested in how she got all that from your one-word answer.
Ichigo was interested too. "Yeah…yeah that's right."
Rukia closed her eyes and bowed her head. "Yeah. That's what I thought."
She pushed herself up. "Sorry I interrupted you. I'll go now."
She's an interesting one King. I think I'd like to know what's going on in that pretty little head of her's before I kill her.
I told you not to touch her, Ichigo hissed venomously. Leave her alone.
He stood as well. "Here, I'll walk you home."
"I think I can get home on my own, Ichigo."
"You sure about that?" He muttered, earning himself a kick in the shin. "Ow…"
They started walking in silence. Ichigo couldn't think of anything to say. But sometimes, between certain people, words were unnecessary. Ichigo and Rukia were those kind of people. They made it to Rukia's house without uttering a single word.
"Well…" Ichigo said, suddenly finding himself unwilling to let her out of his sight. "Good night."
"Yeah…night." She half turned to look at the house. Then, to his complete and utter surprise, she turned back to him and threw her arms around his neck.
The hug was brief. Ichigo wasn't even sure it happened. But before he could do anything, Rukia pulled away again, her eyes on the ground, her arms hanging loosely by her side. Ichigo was too shocked to fully register what had happened. "R…Rukia—?"
"Ichigo, promise me something." He blinked.
"S-Sure. Of course. Anything."
"Promise me that…no matter what happens…you'll never hate me." The words surprised Ichigo more than anything Rukia had said or done all night.
"W-What—?"
"Please. Just promise me."
"I…Rukia I could never hate you, even if I tried."
"Good." She turned away from him and started walking up the path to her front steps. He thought he heard her mutter, "I couldn't die peacefully if I thought you hated me."
"What? Rukia—"
But she disappeared inside before he could say anything more. "Damn. What's with her?"
Rukia closed the door behind her, leaning against it and burying her face in her hands. Ichigo's promise was important to her. Because, no matter what happened, she had no plans of living after Soul Society learned what she and Momo were doing. If they didn't kill her…she'd take her own life. She didn't care anymore.
Author's Note: Hmn...so...review? Please? Also, if you have an extra minute, check out my new story, Heart and Soul. I'm hoping that takes off, I really like it. Okies. Review -- Sam