A Wife for Sherlock Holmes
Chapter 24 - Hens, Stags, and Other things…
April 5th 2014
Sherlock had gone out early, for him, with John to get measured for his tuxedo. It was still early afternoon. Marion had stayed home, getting the little ones ready. Sherlock and John were going out for the stag night.
Marion herself was planning to go spend the evening with her brother-in-law. He had asked to see his niece and nephew and it seemed a good evening, since no one else would be home, to go see him. Mycroft doted on his sister-in-law, someone he saw as someone who could keep up with him. Though he treated his brother as an inferior, Sherlock's children had the best uncle in the world. Even Sherlock could admit that quietly.
Sherlock had to admit he was happy that his brother would be looking after her. She was still moving about with a lot of hesitation, though she had lost a lot of weight. She was bleeding less, but she still needed to be looked after some and Mycroft was allowing his brother to fulfill his duties as the best man.
However, this day something special was planned. Marion was going to have Lizzy's fourth birthday party with three of her best friends from the neighborhood. Mycroft's home was large and would serve well. Mycroft was going to take his niece out for dinner, but for now he would be at work and at his club while the youngsters ran around his front room for a couple hours.
A cab pulled up to the apartments as the door to 221B opened. Sherlock smiled. He had come home in time to catch his wife before she left.
Sherlock paid the cab driver and stepped out as Marion came out of 221B Lizzy's hand and carrying the baby carrier. Sherlock smiled as Lizzy ran to him. He lifted her up and tossed her into the air playfully before bringing her to him to hug her. "Hello, my little duck. Are you ready for cake?"
"Yes!" She giggled. He smiled and bent down to take the baby carrier from his wife. She smiled at her husband. Lizzy could still perch on his arm and Kerrin, though was quite the little piglet at only two weeks weighing nearly ten pounds now, he was sleeping as infants did most of the time.
Sherlock looked about and hailed a cab. One pulled over and he turned to his wife who was bringing a bag with her. She still moved almost as though she were pregnant, but the weight was coming off rapidly though she still held her hands around her middle protectively since her incision was still tender.
Sherlock set the baby carrier down and then set Lizzy on the seat. He kissed her brow. "Have fun little miss." He told her. He lifted the blanket over the carrier to look at his son. Kerrin was sleeping, as he normally did. Sherlock smiled. Soon he would be inquisitive like his sister. He pulled the cover back and lifted the infant carrier with one hand. He set baby carrier on the seat beside the rather small girl. He turned to his wife. "And you. Don't overdo it. If you need help, make Mycroft do it." He said.
"I won't see him for a while, but the other mothers will be there. I promise I will be fine. You have fun at the pubs."
"Do you like my idea?"
"Of running through the town drinking where you found a corpse? Original." She smiled a little. "Oddly fitting given the pair of you." She then chuckled. "Love you." She said smiling. "Don't get too drunk."
"I won't get drunk." He smiled at her a moment, his face inches from hers. "Keep my brother in line will you."
She laughed. "He is very civil with me and you know it."
"Text me later." He said and kissed her softly once more before she ducked and got into the car. He shut the door and stepped back as they drove off. He waved as Lizzy looked back at him through the window. He really did enjoy being a father and husband. He was never bored with Lizzy and he found how she looked at the world to be fascinating and he wrote in his blog about her achievements. He was going to have to wait and see how Kerrin would do. At two weeks he was not awake often except to nurse.
He then took a breath. He needed to collect his file and go see Molly.
ZzZ
Molly was at Bart's in the lab. Sherlock had come to see her. His wife was still recovering from having her c-section. Though her stitches had come out, her recovery was being marked by the weeks going by. She had about another month before she would be able to do normal activities again, which placed her firmly out of stag and hen party nights. The wedding would be hard enough for her and Sherlock would make her rest for a couple of days before to be able to make it for the full day of festivities. However, this had already been planned on and Sherlock was taking John out while Janine saw to the women.
Sherlock looked at Molly and smiled. "So we are going to the Stag Night. We are doing murder scenes."
"Murder scenes?" She looked at him. "Locations of ... murders?"
"Mmmm, pub crawl…themed."
"Yeah, but why-why can't you just do Underground stations?"
Sherlock wrinkled his nose a little. "Lacks the personal touch. We're going to go for a drink in every street where we ..."
Molly joined him and finished the sentence. "... every street where you found a corpse!" He looked at her and smiled. "Delightful! Where do I come in?"
"Don't want to get ill. That would ruin it...spoil the mood."
"You're a graduate chemist. Your wife has a doctorate in Kinesiology. Can't you just work it out?"
Sherlock smiled a little. "I lack the practical experience."
She looks at him straight faced. "Meaning you think I like a drink."
"Occasionally."
"That I'm a drunk."
Sherlock looked at her startled. "No. No!" He said quickly. She held his gaze a moment. He looked down a moment, blinking before recovering with something to say. "You look ... well."
She smiled a little. "I am."
"How's ..." He looked to the side, clearly searching his brain for the name before finally found one which he didn't seem totally confident of, because he offered it very tentatively. "... Tom?"
"Not a sociopath."
"Still? Good." He smiled.
She then grinned a little. "And we're having quite a lot of sex."
Sherlock looked at her startled momentarily, his eyes flicked between her and mid-air before he can move on. "Okay." He made a face. He was currently not able to engage in such things with his own wife. The thought of Molly getting it on derailed him a little. He sighed and then pulled a large file from his coat. "I want you to calculate John's ideal intake, and mine, to remain in the sweet spot the whole evening."
The information appeared to be health records among other things on the pair of them. Molly lifted a paper and smiled.
"Light-headed, good ..." Sherlock started. He handed her a picture of the Vitruvian Man with John's head on it.
"Urinating in wardrobes, bad." Molly said nodding.
"Hmm." He nodded.
ZzZ
Marion sat back. She had spent two hours with two other mothers watching four children watch a movie, eat cake, and play after Lizzy opened her gifts. Lizzy loved having friends, but it was showing that she was a little awkward around people her own age. After all, the little thing potty trained herself because 'it was too much work for her daddy'.
Marion sighed. Lizzy was not antisocial, just she was with adults often, her father solving crimes with her home and playing in the room. She could draw things she had seen. She could read at a first grade level and she was four.
The other girls had gone home. Marion was nursing little Kerrin as she held him to her. She sighed looking out the window as a soft mist like rain began to fall. Lizzy was on the floor playing with her new dolls.
The front door opened and Marion sighed. Mycroft was home. She looked down. "Lizzy. Go get Uncle Myc."
Lizzy was on her feet and off like a shot. Marion smiled as she heard her brother-in-law greet his niece. For a man who seemed so cold and collected, he was deeply affectionate with his niece. He, however, never talked to her as a child, but as a young lady, someone around twelve to sixteen.
Mycroft came in holding his umbrella, dressed in a long over coat, with his niece on his arm. He smiled as he saw Marion there with Kerrin. He nodded to Lizzy. "There are some surprises in your room. Why don't you go see them?" He suggested setting her down. "While I have a chat with your mother."
Lizzy squealed and was off running toward the stairs. The room she occasionally stayed in was upstairs. Marion had a room next door. Mycroft lived in a large home that had just him. Sometimes Marion would come over just to enjoy the quiet.
"What did you get her?" She asked smiling warmly.
"Nothing too extravagant. I need to work up to some things. Drawing pad, new pencils, a charcoal pencil…"
"Seriously?"
"She asked for them." He shrugged.
She nodded. Lizzy had complained he drawings were too flat and needed shadow. Also she often talked to uncle in sign language. Something Marion understood most of, but it annoyed Sherlock who only could catch a few words. That of course only made Mycroft teach her more.
"You are looking well." Mycroft said leaning on his umbrella. She nodded and turned a little as Kerrin finished. She sighed and he stepped forward. "Let me take him." He said softly.
She smiled at him and handed him a cloth as he lifted the rather plump infant to his uncle. Mycroft began to pace the room setting his umbrella down as Marion saw to herself. The baby burped and settled as Mycroft smiled.
She smiled. "You are so good with them."
"I used to walk with Sherlock and change him too, though he never will admit it is true." He said.
She laughed and leaned against the desk. "He isn't an idiot you know."
"He is compared to his mother, his own daughter, and myself."
"Lizzy is not old enough to make that judgment."
"She is far too young to do the things she does. At what point will you concede she is brilliant and will need special classes."
"I would like her to be more socialized than either of you." She said.
"Well so far that is working." He nodded. "She was telling me the party went well."
"Yes." Marion said. She shifted and gasped, he looked at her in concern and she lifted a hand. "No I am okay." She said.
He looked at her quizzically. "You are in pain."
"C-sections are slow recovery. Trust me when I tell you, no one is more annoyed than I am about it."
"Oh, I can imagine Sherlock is as well."
"Oh? How?"
He rolled his eyes. "Well my dear virgin brother finally can have as much sex as he wants or needs and he can't now."
She laughed at him. "He wasn't a virgin you know when we were together. He was far too efficient to be." She coughed. "He had some experience or a great deal of imagination."
"I really don't want to know." He said bringing Kerrin forward to look at him so he didn't have to look at his sister-in-law.
"You were the one who opened the conversation."
"Starting to regret it."
"Come now, brother mine. Even you have to admit you love seeing him happy."
He looked up and gently shifted the nearly asleep baby to lie in his arm. He reached his freed hand to her cheek with the backs of his fingers. He smiled at her. Something he rarely did, but something she saw more than most people, the very human and gentle side of Mycroft Holmes he tended to bury under his thick mask of indifference. "That we can agree on, sister mine."
ZzZ
Sherlock took John to a pub right across the street from where they found their first corpse. Jennifer Wilson, the Pink Lady had been forced to kill herself in the newly renovated apartments across the street. At the time there had been no one living there. Now it was a rather nice looking apartment complex. Sherlock wondered if anyone knew the dark history of the place. No matter for the moment.
Sherlock stood at the bar and looked at the barman thoughtfully. "Two, er ... beers, please." He said.
"Pints?" The barkeep with a cockney accent asked.
Sherlock took two tall and slender glass graduated cylinders from his coat pockets and put them onto the bar. He smiled over them at the man. "Four hundred and forty-three point seven milliliters." He tapped them and smiled more.
The man looked at him in momentary confusion then nodded moving to fill them as requested. Clearly the man had dealt with stranger requests.
Sherlock then took the cylinders, now almost full of beer, over to the nearby bench where John was standing and put them on the table. He grinned at his friend.
"Ah..." John said looking at them in disbelief. He sighed heavily while Sherlock took out his phone, selected an app and put it onto the bench. The phone's stopwatch started up.
John lifted his cylinder. "What, are we on a schedule?"
"You'll thank me." Sherlock smiled. He clinked his own cylinder against John's and they drink.
ZzZ
The pair were seated at a table in a bar. They clinked their cylinders together and drink looking about at the pretty well to do bar. Sherlock smiled as he looked out the window. So far so good.
ZzZ
Mycroft smiled as he took Lizzy's hand. He was going to take his niece to dinner at a lovely Italian restaurant he knew.
Marion saw them off and then went to lie down and sighed looking at her watch. She had been getting updates from the Hen party and commenting on the video.
She looked down at her phone as she picked a book from Mycroft's vast library. It was from Sherlock.
Hi! We are at bar four. No stopping us! SH
Having fun are you? Good. Love you. Stay safe.
Always my little love. SH
ZzZ
Standing at the bar, Sherlock drained his cylinder, grinned widely, then delicately wiped his lip as he burped softly. He seemed to be feeling the beer a little. John looked down into his own cylinder with a disappointed expression.
Sherlock grinned. "This is fun." He said.
ZzZ
At the next pub, John took a long pull on his drink, while Sherlock looked thoughtfully at the level of beer remaining in his own cylinder. They both turned and looked down at Sherlock's phone on the bar, then John put his cylinder down and Sherlock bent to look at the level.
John laughed.
Sherlock sighed and blinked looking a little tipsy.
ZzZ
The next pub they both are seated at a bar table. They clinked their cylinders together again.
"Cheers." John said.
"Cheers." Sherlock said.
They took a long drink. Sherlock was holding his phone in his other hand, updating their alcohol levels with his nimble fingers as they drank.
ZzZ
Another pub had hard rock music playing and they were seated at another small bar table. The boys drained their latest beers, grimaced, and then put the cylinders onto the table.
John turned and looked all round the room. Sherlock pointed over John's shoulder. "Over there." He said.
"What?" John asked leaning toward his friend.
"Toilets. Any second now, you're going to ..." He broke off as John interrupted him.
"Hang on. Tell me after… I need the loo." He said standing and wobbling a bit to gain his balance.
"Mmm, on schedule."
"Eh?" John asked looking back at him.
"Nothing…go!" Sherlock said shooing him off.
John stumbled off, while Sherlock looked at his phone and pulled up his charts which will measure urine output against blood alcohol level. He updated the alcohol level chart and finished it with a fancy flourish.
He then sent a text. How is Lizzy doing? SH
Lizzy isn't here.
What? SH
Sherlock frowned at that text. Why was the little thing not with her mother?
She is at dinner with your brother silly. We discussed it. Are you getting so drunk you aren't remembering?
No! SH
Uh huh…
Marion. I am not drunk. I am right in the sweet spot. SH
It is barely eight. How many bars?
Sherlock blinked. He had to think on that one… Six at least. We are doing well. SH
Great only half of London to go. Just don't get alcohol poisoning. I do not wish to explain that to your mother.
Haha. What are you doing? SH
Enjoying the quiet, but some drunk fool keeps texting me while I am trying to read.
Do you want me to stop? SH
It is a good book.
All right. I will text soon. I love you. SH
There was no reply. He shook his head. Pregnant women were so weird in their emotions.
A little while later John returned to the table.
"How long?" Sherlock asked drinking more from his cylinder.
"Sorry?" John asked cocking his head.
"Your visit."
John sat down and gave Sherlock a quizzical look. Sherlock looked down at his chart.
"Estimate approximate volume discharged ..." Sherlock started.
"Stop talking now." John said with a growl.
Sherlock rolled his eyes and guessed. Then he looked at him. "Marion says hi."
"I am sorry she couldn't go to the hen party."
"She is enjoying the quiet since apparently my brother is out going for uncle of the year."
"How so?"
"He has Lizzy with him for dinner."
"Really? The man who doesn't care for other human beings?"
"He does care for my daughter. I will grant him that." Sherlock said and finished his drink and grinned.
ZzZ
The next bar was a club with lights and loud music blaring.
John was alone at the bar, and he took a shot glass full of presumably whiskey from the barman.
"Ooh, er ..." John smiled and looked over his shoulder as Sherlock who was facing away from him watching the dance floor. "Quick, one more. He mustn't see." He said. He drank the shot in one gulp, humming appreciatively, then took the second shot which the barman brought him. The two cylinders are on the bar in front of him, full of beer, and he poured the whiskey into the left one. He took both of them across towards Sherlock but then stopped and looked at them, apparently unable to remember which one has the shot in it. He sniffed the left one and presumably thinking that that one contains only beer, he put it on the table.
"There you go." John said.
Sherlock turned and picked it up smiling at his friend before taking a drink.
"Cheers."
ZzZ
Mycroft returned with Lizzy to his home.
Marion smiled as she stood watching them. There was a light rain falling and the little girl jumped in the biggest puddle she could find. Marion laughed a little and looked up at Mycroft who watched the little girl's antics.
"Come inside, Lizzy." He said.
Marion laughed and removed her slippers and went out and jumped in the puddle as well, spraying them both. They laughed and Marion pulled her daughter to her playfully and kissed her cheek.
Mycroft folded his arms and watched them as they played for several minutes before getting soaked and cold. They walked back, hand in hand to Mycroft who shook his head a little. Mycroft had grabbed two towels and held them out to the pair.
They rubbed their legs, arms, and hair as he stood regarding them.
"Hot baths for both of you." He said.
Lizzy laughed as they went in. A clap of thunder startled them both and Mycroft smiled. He nodded to Marion. "I will take her to the smaller bath and see her there. You take the master."
"Are you sure?" Marion asked.
"Of course sister mine." He said and bent to give her a kiss on the cheek.
He took his niece's hand. "Then after some hot cocoa before bed."
"Yeah!" Lizzy said in delight.
ZzZ
By the next pub, Sherlock was plastered. In the smoking area outside the pub, he was loudly and drunkenly gesticulating and sounding off to a male customer over the very loud music. "I know ash!"
John was sitting at a nearby table, looking fairly three sheets to the wind. He covered his face with his hand.
"Don't…Tell…Me…I…Don't!" Sherlock said. On each word he poked the man in the upper chest with one finger, and on the last word he put his hand on the man's shoulder and pushed him.
Sighing, John looked up as the man swung a punch at Sherlock's face. Sherlock sways back possibly more by luck than judgment and avoids it.
"Oh ..." John jumped up.
Thrown off-balance by his swing, the man stumbled forward and almost fell onto a nearby table. One of his friends helped him up. John grabbed Sherlock from behind and pulled him away while Sherlock flailed wildly toward the man.
"All right, all right, enough!" John barked. He dragged Sherlock a few feet away, supporting most of his weight. "Stand up." He propped Sherlock onto his feet and pointed him toward the exit.
Sherlock turned and pointed back towards the man. "Ashtrays. I know ashtrays."
ZzZ
The pair made it home by cab. All was silent.
The boys made it to the lower stairs. They were both lying on them. John was on his back by the wall with his arms folded. Sherlock was on his side facing the banister. Both had their eyes closed.
"I have an international reputation." Sherlock said, his voice slurred.
John briefly opened his eyes, then closed them again and settled his head into a more comfortable position.
Sherlock looked over his shoulder. "Do you have an international reputation?" He settled his head down and closed his eyes again.
"No, I don't have an international reputation."
"No." He paused for a moment, then turned his head toward John a little, but doesn't open his eyes. "And I can't even remember what for." He thought for a second. "Sss... Crime ... something or other." He settled his head back down on the stair and grunted quietly.
The door to 221A opened and Mrs. Hudson came out with a bag of rubbish. She stopped in surprise at the sight of the boys. "Ooh! What are you doing back? I thought you were going to be out late."
Sherlock lifted his head a little. "Ah, Hudders. What time is it?" He said his voice slurred.
She looked at her watch. "You've only been out two hours."
The boys sat up, trying to stand, but too tightly wedged together. Sherlock fell off the step and thumped on his backside onto the next step down. He grunted and then moved to stand.
ZzZ
Marion was nearly asleep when a text came to her from Mrs. Hudson. She had enjoyed a long bath in the great master tub. Mycroft had seen to Lizzy. She had come in, drying her hair as he was leaving the room where her daughter slept. She smiled and kissed his cheek, wearing a spare dressing robe about her body as a thank you.
"Sleep well, sister mine." Mycroft said softly smiling at her.
"You too, dear brother." She said and stifled a yawn.
He chuckled softly. He kissed her brow as he stepped to her and pressed her toward her room almost playfully. "To bed with you, Doctor Holmes."
She nodded. It was times like this she wished other could see the Mycroft she knew. The man could be an uptight bastard, but when he was relaxed, he was gentle and kind. She then worked more on her hair as she walked back to her room. She had gotten ready and relaxed to sleep when her phone chimed. Thinking it was Sherlock she looked down and was surprised it was from her landlady.
The boys are passed out on the stairs of the flat. Should I move them?
Already? Marion rolled her eyes. Of course. Neither of them drank much.
Yes.
Silly fools. No leave them. Make them clean it up if they throw up.
Will do.
ZzZ
Later, the pair were upstairs in 221B, sitting in their armchairs in the living room, and were playing the Rizla Game. Rizlas were thin white pieces of paper, with glue along one of the long sides, which are used to roll up loose tobacco to form a cigarette.
Sherlock had a Rizla paper stuck to his forehead. Written on it are the words "SHERLOCK HOLMES". He looks blurrily across to John, who has a Rizla stuck to his own forehead which read "MADONNA". John peered at him, apparently trying to keep his eyes open.
"Am I a vegetable?" John asked.
Sherlock, who was holding a glass of whiskey in one hand, pointed at him. "You, or the thing?"
They both snickered.
"Funny!" John said.
Sherlock looked down. Sherlock flushed a little and looked bashful. "Thank you."
"Come on."
Sherlock raised his head again.
Sherlock answered his voice slurred. "No, you're not a vegetable."
"It's your go." He picked up his own glass and drank.
"Errr ... am I human?"
"Sometimes."
"Can't have 'sometimes'. Has to be, um ..." He struggled to pull himself up a little in his chair.
"Yes, you're human." John said. He put his glass down and slumped back in his seat.
Sherlock blinked."... 'yes' or 'no'. ... Okay." He said finishing his last sentence. He leaned woozily forward, bracing his upper arms on his legs. "And am I a man?"
"Yep."
"Tall?"
John held his hands wide.
"Not as tall as people think."
"Hmm. Nice?"
"Ish."
"Clever?"
"I'd say so."
"You would?"
John chuckled.
"Mmm, am I important?"
"To s-some people."
"Do 'people' ... " He made vague air-quotes around the word. "... like me?"
John reached for his glass, but did not pick it up. "Er, no, they don't. You tend to rub…em up the wrong way."
"Okay."
John snickered.
Sherlock slumped back in his chair and then leaned forward again. "Am I the current king of England?"
"Are you ...?" He howled with laughter. "You know we don't have a king?"
"Don't we?"
"No." He chuckled again briefly.
Sherlock sat back and took a drink. "Your go."
Unfolding his legs, John shifted forward until he is sitting right on the edge of his seat. He instantly started to slide off and reached out to brace himself with one hand on Sherlock's right knee. He pushed himself back a little, then he and Sherlock looked down at his hand. John pulled it away and held both his hands out, shrugging. "I don't mind."
Sherlock raised his fingers around his glass and shrugged to indicate that he's not bothered either in the slightest."
"Am I a woman?"
Sherlock looked at him for a second, then snorted laughter. He chuckles for a few moments.
"What?"
"Yes." Again he tried to straighten himself up on the chair.
"Am I ... pretty?" John pointed up to his Rizla. "This."He propped his head up on one fist.
"Beauty is a construct based entirely on childhood impressions, influences and role models."
"Yeah, but am I a pretty lady?" He blinked owlishly at Sherlock, who leaned forward and screwed up his eyes to peer at the Rizla.
"I don't know who you are. I don't know who you're supposed to be."
"You picked the name!" John growled.
Sherlock flailed a hand towards another part of the room. "Ah, but I picked it at random from the papers."
John slumped back in his seat. "You're not really getting the hang of this game, are you, Sherlock?"
Sherlock looked up at his own Rizla. "So I am human, I'm not as tall as people think I am ..." He sat back in the chair. "I'm-I'm nice-ish ..."
John stretched out his socked feet and propped them against the front of Sherlock's chair next to his friend's long legs.
Sherlock continued. "... clever, important to some people, but I tend to rub them up the wrong way." He laughed with delight. "Got it."
"Go on, then."
"I'm you, aren't I?" Sherlock giggled.
Mrs. Hudson knocked on the open door. "Ooh-ooh!" She said.
The pair looked round at her. She was standing in the doorway with a young woman wearing a nurse's outfit with a cardigan over it.
"Client!" Mrs. Hudson said.
"Hallo." John said.
Sherlock waved at her. "Hallo!"
Mrs. Hudson turned to go back down the stairs leaving the girl with them.
John gestured for her to join them. "Come on."
"Which one of you is Sherlock Holmes?" She asked.
Smiling broadly at her, John raised his hand and whistling a single rising note through his teeth in time with his hand movement slowly pointed up towards the words on Sherlock's Rizla. Sherlock grinned widely at her.
ZzZ
Shortly afterwards, the pair have relocated to sit side by side on the sofa. Tessa sat on a dining chair facing them
"I don't ... a lot ... I mean, I don't ... date all that much ..." The girl started. She had introduced herself as Tessa.
Sherlock sank back on the sofa and propped his head up on his left hand.
"... and ... he seemed ... nice, you know?"
John smiled at her, then blinked slowly, trying to keep his eyes open.
"We seemed to automatically connect. We had one night…dinner, such interesting conversation. It was ... lovely."
John smiled again and glanced briefly towards Sherlock.
"To be honest, I'd love to have gone further ..."
Sherlock's eyes drifted closed. He forced them open and shook his head, sitting up and withdrawing his right hand from where he had draped it along the back of the sofa behind John.
"... but I thought,…No, this is special. Let's take it slowly ..."
Sherlock leaned forward, braced his elbows on his legs and folded his hands in front of his mouth. John shifted his own position.
"... exchange numbers."
Sherlock's eyes drifted closed.
"He said he'd get in touch and then ..." She looked down sadly. "Maybe he wasn't quite as keen as I was ..."
John was practically asleep with his eyes open, but he shrugged vaguely at her.
"... but I…I just thought ..." She become tearful. "... at least he'd call to say that we were finished." She lifted a hand to wipe a tear from her eye.
Sherlock's face filled with sympathy and sadness for her. She fell silent and Sherlock looked away, his face still full of sympathetic pain ... then he frowned as if wondering where the hell that emotion came from. It wasn't like him.
Tessa took a breath and pulled herself together. "I went round there, to his flat."
Sherlock had also recovered and propped his chin on his clasped hands.
"No trace of him. Mr. Holmes ..."
Sherlock smiled cheekily at her, his eyes starting to close at the same time.
She gazed down at the space beside the sofa. "... I honestly think I had dinner ... with a ghost." She turned her head and looked at Sherlock. Neither John nor Sherlock reacted to what she said. Sherlock made a soft grunting sound. "Mr. Holmes?" Both of the pair had their eyes closed. Sherlock was snoring softly and John's head dropped lower on his chest. "With a ghost, Mr. Holmes!" She said loudly
Sherlock's head fell off his hands and he almost tumbled off the sofa. Sherlock forced himself upright.
"Boring, boring, boring…no!"
John drew in a noisy breath and rolled his head on his neck.
"Fascinating!" Sherlock said. He turned round to John. "John…John! Wake up!" He shook John's leg. John opened his eyes and flailed at Sherlock. Sherlock turned to Tessa. "Apologies about my ..." His voice was slurred. He pointed toward John. "... you know ... thing." He pulled in a breath, cleared his throat, then turned to John and pointed at him. "Rude. Rude!" He said sternly. He turned back to Tessa.
"I checked with the landlord, and the man who lived there died. Heart attack. And there we are, having dinner one week on." Tessa said. She picked up her handbag from the floor and rummaged in it. "And I found this thing online, sort of chat room thing ..." She took out a printout and gave it to Sherlock who took it. "... for girls who think they're dating men from the spirit world."
John had fallen asleep again, but Sherlock stood up and then wobbled a little unsteadily. "Don't worry. I'll find him in ten minutes."
Tessa smiled with delight.
"What's your dog's name?" Sherlock asked.
John woke his own voice slurred. "Yeah, I'm there if you want it."
"John! Wake up!" Sherlock barked. He reached down and shoved John's shoulder. John almost fell over sideways. "We're meant to ..." He clicked his fingers. "... The game's ..." He waved a hand vaguely. "... something." He stumbled away.
John's eyes drift upward as though he applied all his mental skills to the problem and then pointed at Sherlock. "... on." John said.
Tessa gasped excitedly.
Sherlock staggered over and pointed down at him. "Yeah, that, that!" He turned and wandered off again.
"Okay!" Tessa said standing up.
John slowly pushed himself to his feet.
Sherlock walked from the bedroom. "My wife is missing too. Maybe we will find her as well. I am married. At least I think I am." He bent down and lifted a baby toy. "Or I have new hobbies…"
John touched his shoulder. "She is with Mycroft." He said.
"Who?"
"Brother."
"Oh yes." Sherlock nodded. "With the kids." He flailed his arm and smiled at Tessa. "Such cute kids." He smirked. "We just had a little boy." He took her arm and led her down the stairs.
"What's his name?"
"Ummmm Keri." He said.
"Interesting." She said. "And you have more than one?"
"Girl too. Smart. Very smart."
"Yes she is." John said behind them.
"That is great. I want a family someday." Tessa said.
"Handful, but worth it." Sherlock said as he stepped out and hailed a cab. "Where to?" He asked smiling at her.
ZzZ
In a living room elsewhere, Sherlock wobbled unsteadily in front of a large clear glass plate on a stand. The pair is in what looks like a warehouse conversion. It's a large apartment with bare brick walls and a very high ceiling. The room is decorated with several pieces of modern furniture and art. Sherlock grinned drunkenly at the glass plate, then straightened up a bit and looked around the room. He was currently kneeling on the sofa with his arms braced on its back. John stood nearby, leaning against a supporting pillar in the middle of the room. With them were another man and Tessa who looked about as well.
"Ohhh, it's nice!" John said.
Sherlock stood up off the sofa, then promptly fell back onto it. John turned a little and braced his hand against the supporting column. Tessa was standing nearby, together with the landlord who was holding a set of keys and looking at the two in confusion.
"Nice place." John said.
The landlord sighed and crossed his arms. Sherlock got up and wobbled around the living room.
"See anything?" Tessa asked.
"Hmm?" Sherlock asked.
"Any clues, Mr. Holmes?"
John had now braced his back against the column and had closed his eyes.
"Oh, errrrrr ..." Sherlock looked down. He looked blurrily down at the fancy coffee table and starts deducing:
designer
table
art?
He looked across to an armchair:
chair
seat
leather
sleeeeep
Moving on to a fancy-looking speaker:
thing
speaker
hi tech
thing
His eyes drifted on to a painted animal skull on a stand ...
? death ?
skull
? deaded ?
... and then to a tall slender ornament on the window sill ...
wood ?
? pipe/tube/wotsit
thingamebob?
?
... and to a pale green egg chair ...
egg ?
chair?
sitty thing?
?
Still umming vaguely, he wandered over to the chair and looked more closely at it, then twirled around and his eyes settled in a rather unfocused way on Tessa and he deduced her:
nurse
? client ?
victim ?
cardigan
Scratching his head, he suddenly looked inspired. He grinned at Tessa.
"I'm just gonna whip this out." He said voice slurred. He put his hand in his coat pocket, then stumbled in circles across the room as he tugged at whatever he's trying to pull out. Eventually he managed to extract his pouch of equipment from the pocket, simultaneously he shook off his coat and dropping it to the floor. He blinked at the pouch, then unrolled it and took out his magnifier. He tossed the pouch over his shoulder and then he held the magnifier up to show the others. "Mm-hmm?" He clicked it open. The landlord sighed again while Tessa smiled awkwardly. John was still half-asleep leaning against the pillar. Sherlock dropped to his knees on a white rug, braced himself with his left hand and slowly sank forward onto his right elbow.
Tessa turned to John and gently pushed him upright from the pillar. "You all right?" She asked him as she smiled.
John nodded. "Hmm? Yeah. He's clueing."
"What?"
"He's ... hmm? He's clueing for looks."
They looked down at Sherlock, who had brought his face down to within about four inches of the rug. He was holding his magnifier to his eye and looking through it, then his eyes drifted closed and he slowly toppled forward and face-planted onto the rug.
"Mr. Holmes?" Tessa called
Sherlock didn't respond, still on his knees with his bum stuck up in the air. He snored noisily. Tessa looked nervously at the landlord and stepped forward toward Sherlock.
"Mr. Holmes?!" She said louder.
"I'm calling the police." The landlord said.
"Oh, no ..."
The landlord walked across to the rug and hauled Sherlock up onto his knees.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Sherlock cried indignantly.
The landlord stepped back as John held out a warning hand to him.
Tessa spoke again. "This is a famous detective. It's Sherlock Holmes and his partner, John Hamish Watson."
John stepped towards the landlord, attempting and utterly failing to look threatening.
Sherlock looked up. "What'd you think you're doing? Don't compromise the integrity of the ..." He turned round, bent over and vomited on the rug. The landlord closed his eyes, and Tessa put her hand across her mouth. John's eyes drift upwards as he goes into full thinking mode again. Eventually he found the words he needed to finish Sherlock's sentence for him.
"... crime scene!" John said in triumph. He grinned triumphantly at Tessa and held up his right palm for her to high-five. She didn't take up the offer. Eventually he lowered his hand again, shaking his head.
Sherlock coughed and straightened up onto his knees again. He gestured toward John with the magnifier. "Yeah, that." Looking up at the others, he held up the magnifier and delicately clicked it closed. He then wiped the vomit off his mouth and shrugged.
ZzZ
Marion woke. There was an odd sound in the room. She opened her eyes and looked over. Her phone was on vibrate. She grimaced and lifted it to her ear.
"Holmes." She said softly, her mind still full of sleep. She yawned and looked at the time. It was nearly one.
"Hey Marion. It is Greg. I just got a call from the station. They have Sherlock and John for drunken and disorderly conduct."
"Oh really?" She said.
"Want me to get you to bail them?"
"No. They can stay in the tank until morning."
"That seems a little harsh even for them."
"They earned it." She hissed. "I will meet you there at seven or so."
"All right. I will get there a little early and sort it."
"Thanks Greg."
"My pleasure, love. Sleep well."
"Indeed. My husband and I will have words tomorrow."
"Go easy on him. He apparently was on a case after he threw up in a loft flat."
"He did what? Oh never mind I don't want to know…"
"Night." Greg said.
She clicked the phone closed and shook her head. She lifted her phone to text.
Mycroft your brother is an idiot.
A short time later. Tell me something I do not know, sister mine. MH
She smiled and relaxed back into sleep. Mycroft was like Sherlock and herself, a night owl. He was likely in his study reading or something. Lizzy had gone to sleep hours ago. Marion would have normally joined her brother-in-law, but pregnancy made it hard for her to stay awake. She was still recovering from Kerrin's birth and so was often tired.
She drifted to sleep, thinking of all the ways she would make her husband's life hell tomorrow for waking her and for being a disgrace in public.
ZzZ
It was morning.
A little passed seven am.
Marion sighed as she paid the cab. She did not trust herself to drive this early in the morning. She lifted Lizzy into her arms and walked into New Scotland Yard. She stifled a yawn as she walked toward the building, but a figure moved toward her.
Greg met Marion outside the station. She looked tired and she held Lizzy to her. He smiled a little and took the little sleeping girl in his arms, resting her against his hip. "I will get her to my office and get you a cup of tea love." He said carrying the toddler in his arms, her face against his shoulder. She barely stirred being passed between the adults.
"Thank you." She said.
She followed him in and he laid Lizzy down in his desk chair and shut the door. He turned and walked to the refreshment area and made her a cup of tea. He returned and handed it to her and held his own.
"Was it bad?" She asked.
"They didn't even make it to closing." He smiled at her playfully. "They are free to go. I squared everything."
"Thank you Greg. I owe you." She said leaning up and kissing his cheek. "Should we wake them?"
He smiled and nodded to her as he led her down the hall. "This way. I will send them home in a taxi or do you want to go with them."
"I will go with them and try not to yell." She smiled. "No promises."
He chuckled as he led her to the holding cells. "She is with me." He told an officer on guard there.
The man nodded and let them pass.
"Honestly I have seen men in worse shape." Greg said. "They are still dressed, reek of beer, but they didn't actually get vomit on themselves."
"Good…" She said. "Hopefully they remember this."
He looked at her. "I am sure you will make them." He said grinning a little.
ZzZ
John was in a room. He was in a bright room somewhere. His heartbeat can be heard, and his gentle exhale sounded very loud. His eyes moved behind his closed lids with a rasping sound. He screwed up his eyes a couple of times, the movements making squelchy sounds, then he opened his eyes and blinks with a loud click. The room made him wince at the brightness. A door opened nearby. John was sitting on the floor of a white-tiled room with his back against the wall. He grimaced at the sound of the door.
"Wakey-wakey!" Greg said cheerfully.
"Oh my God." John said wincing. He peered towards the door. Beside him, Sherlock was flat out on his back and fast asleep on the bench of a police holding cell. "Greg. Is that Greg?" John asked looking up.
"Get up. I'm gonna put you two in a taxi. Managed to square things with the desk sergeant." He smiled a little. "Marion is here too."
John painfully climbed to his feet.
Greg laughed disparagingly. "What a couple of lightweights! You couldn't even make it to closing time!"
"Can you whisper?" John asked softly as he walked toward him.
"NOT REALLY!" Greg yelled in his ear as he walked by.
Sherlock flailed upwards on the bench, his eyes wide and his mouth open in shock. He looked round the cell in bewilderment. John gave Greg a look of hurt betrayal, then left the cell.
Greg beckoned to Sherlock. "Come on." He followed John.
Sherlock sat up on the bench, stood, wobbled, fell back onto the bench, then stood up and put his fingers to his temples, wobbling on one foot. After a moment he lowered his hands and delicately walked out of the cell.
At the end of the hall, Marion was standing, arms folded on her chest regarding them. Greg smiled at her as she glared at the two men shaking her head. Sherlock didn't really seem to notice her, but John winced.
"Marion." He said softly.
"I am releasing them to you."
"Why am I always the grown-up?" Marion asked.
Greg smiled at her and lifted some paperwork. "In their defense it was John's stag night."
"The only reason I didn't go out was because I just had Kerrin. I am a little jealous, but now I have to babysit two idiots with hangovers." She sighed and looked down at the papers.
John looked down.
Sherlock closed his eyes trying to keep himself upright.
When everything was signed, Greg led them to the front desk. He kissed Marion's cheek and went to his office to retrieve Lizzy who was still sound asleep.
Grunting with the effort, Sherlock put his coat back on. John tucked his wallet into his back pocket.
"Well, thanks for a ... you know ..." John said. He looked at Marion who was watching them thoughtfully.
Greg handed Lizzy back to Marion and she smiled at him. "Thank you Greg."
"Take care of them. Don't be too harsh." He said softly as he watched the pair walking toward the door.
"I will go get Kerrin and go to Baker Street to sober them." She smiled. She walked to the pair as they reached the door.
"... an evening." John continued as they reached the doors.
"It was awful." Sherlock said.
"Yeah."
Sherlock groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"I was gonna pretend, but it was, truly."
Sherlock lowered his hand. "That woman, Tessa."
"What?"
"Dated a ghost. The most interesting case for months. What a wasted opportunity."
"... Okay." John said.
Marion looked them as they all climbed into a taxi. Marion directed the driver and Sherlock looked over at her, seeming to realize she was there for the first time.
"Marion."
She shook her head. "Not now." She said.
ZzZ
Marion stood regarding the pair of them as they both blinked at the bright sunlight as they climbed out of the taxi behind her. She sighed and passed Lizzy to her father. Sherlock was startled, but took the girl and held her to him as Marion lifted the baby carrier that held Kerrin, who was also dead asleep.
"Right then. John, Mary is expecting you. Her hen party lasted well into the night, but she was surprised you didn't make it home." Marion said finally speaking. She had not said a word after they left the station.
"You didn't tell her I was…" John looked at her.
"No. I told her you crashed on our sofa. Which you could now, if you wish. She said she could come by later and talk details with me if you were too ill to move."
"Actually…" He said.
She nodded and opened up the door. "Right. Couch is calling your name." she told him.
Sherlock carried his daughter up the stairs and put her to bed. Marion walked to the bedroom and gently put Kerrin in his cradle before she turned to see Sherlock walking in, holding his head.
He looked at her. "You are enjoying this…" He accused looking up at her.
"My husband the light weight." She smiled. She patted the bed. "Come up then. You need a rest."
"Are you angry?"
She smiled. "You have no idea…" She said looking at him as he pulled off his coat.
He grunted and collapsed onto his pillow. She leaned over. "I love you Sherlock Holmes. It is a damn good thing I do."
He grunted.
Marion then texted Mary. They are nursing hangovers. I will call when they get up.
Right. Got himself fairly pissed did he?
Yes. Sherlock is going to have to sleep it off for a while.
LOL. Call me when they are fit for company.
Will do.
ZzZ
It was a few hours later. John was awake. She was in the living room reading. She looked up at him as he stood up. "Morning. Feeling better?"
"A little." He smiled.
She went to the kitchen. She then returned and offered John some water with a tablet to put in it.
"I am so sorry, Marion." John said.
"Traditional isn't it. I mean the only reason I didn't go out was because of Kerrin."
"How is the little man?" He asked sipping the drink.
"Sleeping." She smiled. "Rest easy. I will be here if you need me."
"Thank you." He said softly.
ZzZ
Marion had dozed off and was in John's chair when she heard a cry. She was on her feet nearly immediately and walked to the bedroom.
She blinked when she saw Sherlock was up, dressed, and holding his son. He looked at her and smiled wearily. "Hi." He said gently rocking Kerrin who was starting to fuss.
"Hi." She said.
"I think he's hungry." He said. He looked at her sheepishly.
She nodded and sat down, she bared a breast and took Kerrin from her husband. Sherlock dropped beside her and sighed pressing his face to her hair.
"I love you." He said softly.
"I know." She said.
"Forgive me."
"For being a drunken idiot? Of course." She smiled at him. "Do you want me to make you some coffee?"
He nodded a little and then held his head a little. "I think I am hung-over."
"Very much so." She kissed his cheek. "You look like hell. Have you had a bath?"
"No."
"Go on." She nodded to him.
"But…"
She shooed him and smiled. "We will talk when you don't smell like beer and vomit."
He winced and nodded. He went to the bath and turned on the water and then relaxed. His wife was a good woman and though he knew she was going to mock him for several days, she would make sure he was well. He loved her and was grateful she was there. What an interesting change being married had done to him. He had a wife he adored, he had two children he could not be without, and he was still the consulting detective.
He would look up the case of Tessa and her ghost boyfriend. He found it interesting. He closed his eyes thinking about this case.
Once his headache passed, life would be good.