This Light, the Will of the Heart, I See
"We have a job to do! We're the punishment force; punish the traitors for their actions!" –Soifon
NOTE: This is the second revision of this fanfic. If you have been reading it before, ya might wanna go back through an' look through it again…
Inspiration: Memories in the Rain by Ichigo and Rukia (Bleach Beat Collection)
Chapter Rating: PG for minor fight scenes and very sweet fluff. And angry cursing.
Spoiler Warnings: None
Chapter Warnings: Toshiro is OOC.
"These are normal thoughts."
"These are thoughts that Sakana receives and sends."
This is one's Zanpakuto.
Chapter 2: Lost Memories
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X
Gay's eyes widened as Sakana's entire appearance seemed to change. Two huge wings of flame grew on her back, as well as a dragon's tail (think: Eastern dragon). She was wearing black gloves without the tips on her hands. The air around her was beginning to turn extremely blistering hot, and her eyes changed from their reddish-brown color to pure red. The Arrancar swung his Zanpakuto, once again conjuring a tidal wave. Sakana grinned and concentrated her reiatsu. A huge flame erupted from her hands, encircling the water and causing it to partially evaporate. The result was that Gay was scalded with his own water (now heated) and then burned.
"Heh, got 'im." Sakana smirked.
"Not quite, Satoshi."
Sakana's eyes widened as a sword stabbed her in the back. Gay had managed to get behind her, but how?
"Graaaah!" Sakana roared, throwing a fireball at Gay; it missed and scorched the wall behind him. The taichou was beginning to tire, which was good for Gay. Gay lunged again at Sakana, who parried and then leapt back. She was panting heavily and covered in sweat. Gay then slashed at Sakana, creating a wound on her head. Blood seeped from the wound and Sakana grimaced.
"I may have to use that." Sakana huffed. Kaenrinmaru growled in alarm.
"We don't know what will happen if you use it! You promised not to use it…"
"What's the worst that could happen? I can't lose this fight!" She retorted. The dragon spirit seemed a little fidgety.
"… Alright. Use it if you must, little one."
"Just stay strong, Kaenrinmaru." Sakana said, mentally stroking her Zanpakuto spirit.
"Time to finish this!" Gay shouted (in a rather gay voice, I must add. Think: Valley Girl voice. xP.). He raised his Zanpakuto, but stopped upon feeling Sakana's reiatsu, which had gone over 9000 (I could put a whole dragon ball z scouter reference in here, but I'm not going to).
Sakana was focusing all of her reiatsu towards the Arrancar that had threatened Toshiro. The air was becoming very hazy; so hazy that Gay's Zanpakuto would not work. For the first time in a while, someone had invoked Sakana's dangerous wrath. Someone had actually pissed her off.
"Enkouauto no Kyuukyoku." Sakana said softly, "Be strong, Kaenrinmaru."
There was a huge explosion of flame around Gay. The arrancar screamed as he was brutally roasted within inches of his life. Sakana coughed up blood as she lowered her hands. There was a loud snapping noise, and Sakana's Zanpakuto cracked from the hilt to the tip as it reappeared in Sakana's hands and the wings and tail disappeared. She dropped Kaenrinmaru and fell to her knees, her sight becoming unfocused. She faintly heard someone gently calling her name and felt someone tenderly picking her up before she passed out.
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X
"…"
"…!"
"…?"
"…!"
"…ane-san…"
"…Hai…chou…"
"…ght…?
"…she…fine…"
"…sugaya…?"
"…not…"
"…ack lat…"
Sakana drifted in and out of unconsciousness. Sometimes she felt something cold and damp on her forehead, and she would shy away from it. Other times she felt someone gently lifting her up into a somewhat sitting position. She felt worry and anguish all around her. She couldn't recognize who was talking to her, but she could feel the heartwarming compassion of that person. The taichou felt so drained, so exhausted, that she couldn't even attempt to focus her attention to anything.
One day she opened her eyes, feeling very drowsy. Her sight was very blurry, but she saw the figure of someone standing over her. Judging by the heartwarming feeling coming from the figure, she guessed it was Unohana.
"Sakana-chan, I see you're awake. How are you feeling?" Unohana asked. Sakana closed her eyes again and took a deep breath. What was this feeling? She decided to ignore it for the time being.
"A little dizzy… and I ache all over." Sakana grumbled. Unohana smiled.
"Well, you were quite injured from that battle with the Arrancar, and you did drain almost all of your reiryoku with that final attack. Are you feeling nauseous or anything?" Unohana explained. Sakana shook her head slowly, trying not to worsen her headache.
"Just dizzy. And I feel really hot…"
"That may be a side-effect of your bankai. Now, lie down and relax." Unohana said soothingly. Sakana felt her eyes getting heavy, and she felt a cold cloth on her forehead before she slipped back into the world of unconsciousness.
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X
Sakana sat up in a grassy field. There were trees and grass everywhere, as well as a river. In the distance, she saw lush green mountains. She blinked as she felt someone else's presence lingering around her.
"Kaenrinmaru?"
The huge dragon curled up next to Sakana. He was easily four times her size. Sakana snuggled against the giant Zanpakuto spirit.
"I won't be able to be with you for a while, at least until you regain you spiritual powers."Kaenrinmaru said. Sakana looked up at the dragon questionably.
"Huh? Why?" Sakana asked, "You're part of me, Kaenrinmaru!"
"Your reiryoku is too weak. If you tried to wield me, you could die. It's not safe for you at the moment to wield me." The Zanpakuto spirit said. Sakana leaned back against the dragon, sighing.
"Oh, well, I guess it can't be helped. I knew what I was getting into…" She said, squeezing the dragon's claw.
"Be strong for me, little one," Kaenrinmaru said, "Now, rest."
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X
Sakana woke up every now and then, feeling drained. Her wounds had healed, so she only felt exhausted from the lack of reiryoku. The fiery captain was soon able to move about her room, but was quickly becoming testy at being trapped in the fourth division for so long. A week in the fourth division seemed like forever to her, even if she was first stationed in the division when she became a Shinigami.
A few days later, Unohana came into her room and told her that, she could be released from the fourth division today or tomorrow. Sakana, overjoyed, followed the healer out of the room to a different room. Her Shiro-chan's room.
"Hitsugaya-taichou has been asking for you." Unohana said on the way, smiling gently as the girl blushed.
"H-He has? How has he been doing?"
"He's been showing very slight signs of mental problems. He took a hard hit to the head protecting you. Almost a concussion." Unohana said, "He's mostly been sleeping, but when he was awake all he did was talk about you. He's been worried sick."
They stopped at a room, and Unohana gently pulled the door open. Sakana stepped in as the door slid shut. She saw a tuft of white hair sticking out from the pile of sky blue blankets. Sakana smiled; her yuki-ouji was so adorable when he was sleeping. She went over to his bedside and sat down in the chair. She noticed his forehead sticking out from underneath the blanket, and she gently brushed his damp, wet hair out of his face. He shivered and burrowed a little deeper into his blankets. Sakana smiled and gently stroked the parts of his white hair that were not covered with bandages. The ice prince twitched a little bit at Sakana's touch, but his eyes slowly flickered open.
"…Mai yuki-ouji…" Sakana said softly. Toshiro's aqua eyes flickered and he smiled.
"...baka, It's Hitsugaya-taichou." The white-haired prodigy corrected.
"Nanto. How are you feeling?" Sakana asked, gently putting her hand on his forehead.
"I just missed you, is all. Just you being near me… I feel a lot better." Toshiro said. Sakana blushed and her heart began to race. Where was this all coming from? She knew that Toshiro was not the kind of person to say mushy stuff. Toshiro scooted over, wincing as he did so, and patted the space next to him.
"Lie down."
Sakana did as she was told. Toshiro buried his nose into her hair, inhaling the pyro taichou's scent. It smelt like Starbucks coffee; Sakana had an addiction to the frappucino. It was almost all she ever drank, ever since Ichigo had brought it for her from the world of the living.
"Y'know, you smell nice." Toshiro said. Sakana blushed again, and snuggled closer to her yuki-ouji.
"When I dove to protect you, the only thing going through my mind was making sure you weren't injured. I care about you a lot." Toshiro murmured. Sakana felt her body temperature rise and she blushed even more.
"…Aishiteru, kaen-hime." Toshiro whispered, moving over and gently capturing Sakana's lips. Sakana returned the kiss, her mind swimming. Toshiro broke the kiss and Sakana got off the bed. Toshiro sat up carefully as to not injure himself and hugged the girl he had just admitted his love for.
"…Arigatou…" Toshiro whispered in Sakana's ear. The icy taichou fell limp and fell back onto the sky blue pillow. Sakana first panicked until she realized that he had fallen asleep. Sakana pulled up the covers and gently kissed the taichou on his nose.
"Watashi Mo Aishiteru, yuki-ouji." Sakana whispered in his ear. She thought she saw him smile as she left his room. While she was trying to find Unohana, she ran into Rangiku.
"Rangiku-chan!" Sakana said, waving.
"Sakana-taichou! How's my taichou doing?" Rangiku asked. Surprisingly the fukutaichou did not smell like sake, for once.
"He's sleeping right now." Sakana said, trying to hide a blush. Rangiku gave her drinking buddy a questionable look.
"Are you blushing? What happened?" She asked hungry for gossip. The taichou glared at the vice-captain before holding her head with one hand. It was as if someone was beating on her head with a mallet.
"What's wrong, Sakana-taichou?" Rangiku asked, putting a hand on her shoulder. Sakana's reaction scared Rangiku.
Sakana's eyes widened, and Rangiku could now see that her eyes were no longer their reddish-brown color, but a very light grey. Sakana pushed Rangiku away with surprising strength and suddenly backed up, her back hitting the wall. Her face had gone pale and she was gasping for breath.
"Sakana, what's wrong?"
Sakana could not describe what was happening to her. It was almost as if her mind was on a different radio frequency. Even though the building was relatively quiet, in her mind it was almost as if she was in a very crowded room. In a room close by, a Shinigami had died. In another, a Shinigami was fighting for their life. In a room far away, someone was celebrating. However, the thoughts were not the only thing bothering her.
Different feelings were running through her; pain, sorrow, happiness, general stupidity… She could feel it all. All the emotions of the Seireitei. Rangiku stepped closer, her worry and fear almost emitting from her. Sakana's eyes widened even more and she inched away her.
"Anou, Sakana?" Rangiku asked, reaching out again for the small trembling body.
"GET AWAY FROM ME!"
Sakana's uneven voice was filled with fear. Rangiku was not sure how to comfort the captain, who had slumped to the ground, her head in her hands. Her entire body shook violently. Rangiku knew that something was terribly wrong, so she backed away from the small captain.
"U…no…hana…" Sakana gasped, attempting to push herself up. The sickening feeling in her stomach rose, and Sakana whimpered softly. Unohana rounded the corner, and Sakana felt her calm demeanor wash over her. She did not feel any better, however.
"I see you are up. How do you feel?" Unohana asked gently. Sakana still felt Rangiku's constantly changing feelings, and it was making her head hurt and her stomach churn.
Sakana opened her mouth to speak, but clapped a hand to her mouth and ran for the nearest bathroom. Unohana followed her and gently rubbed Sakana's back as she retched into the toilet. After emptying her stomach of all of its contents, Sakana shuddered violently and rested her back against the wall. The cold floor felt good against her hot, clammy skin. Her breath was uneven and came in gasps. Sakana squeezed her eyes shut and resisted the urge to throw up again.
"Sakana, please, tell me what happened." Unohana said gently, massaging the taichou's back. Sakana's breath hitched, and she crawled back over to the toilet.
Dry heaves were not fun, as Sakana found out. They scratched her throat and caused her to hack up blood. Unohana gently rubbed her back as the taichou leaned against her.
"…It… hurts…"
"What hurts?" Unohana asked gently. Sakana clutched the taichou's haori and breathed heavily. She could not sense Unohana's reiatsu through her own pain.
"Sakana, please tell me." She said.
"I hear… thoughts… feel pain… other people…" Sakana whispered. She then moved so that she was lying on the cold floor. It felt so good; she could fall asleep here. "It's… side effect… of bankai… didn't think… would hurt… this bad…"
Unohana gently brushed Sakana's bangs out of her face, and noticed that the other taichou was crying from the pain she was experiencing. The medical taichou could feel the tension rising from the other captain, and she pulled out a medicine bottle from the depths of her haori.
"Here, drink this. It should numb the pain a little bit."
Sakana swallowed the medicine with a little bit of difficulty, and almost immediately her mind went numb. 'Ah, a sedative. Sedatives are wonderful friends,' Sakana thought before her eyes fluttered briefly and she passed out in Unohana's arms. Unohana stood with the young girl in her arms and left the bathroom, searching for her fukutaichou.
"Isane-san, please make Sakana-san's room a little colder than usual. And light one of those calming scented candles; that may help her a little bit." Unohana said after successfully locating her fukutaichou.
"Hai, Unohana-taichou.
"Hanataro-san, please go to the storeroom and get some ice, about two or three buckets. Get someone to help you if necessary. Bring them to room 1408 (lol)."
"H-Hai, Unohana-taichou."
"Uketashi-san, please get some cloths. About four will suffice."
"hai, Unohana-taichou."
Unohana carried Sakana back to her room and laid her down on her bed, covering her with a light blanket. Sakana seemed to have relaxed upon entering the room, possibly because the temperature had been lowered. Unohana gently dampened the cloth and put it on her forehead as Isane lit the scented candle, which smelt like vanilla and coffee beans, Sakana's favorite smell. Sakana relaxed considerably and fell into a deep slumber, occasionally whimpering and shaking.
Later that night, Sakana was tossing and turning in her sleep. The taichou was having a nightmare… a nightmare that could soon become a reality.
DREAM
It was dark. So dark.
Sakana gripped her Zanpakuto crouched in a fighting position. She felt alone.
So alone.
In the dark.
She heard a yell, which she faintly recognized. What was happening? She reached out; trying to sense any possible reiatsu, but only one surrounded her.
Aizen.
A sudden pain in her abdomen snapped her out of her thoughts. Blood seeped from the seemingly spontaneous wound onto the ground. As she bled, she called out for anyone.
But she was alone.
In the cold.
In the dark.
As her body finally weakened, she collapsed onto the ground, calling for help. Calling for someone, anyone to save her. She called for someone to end the nightmare she was suffering. As her sight became fuzzy, she saw a silhouette standing over her, reaching for her. The silhouette began to shake her, saying something. Sakana could not tell what the person was saying as she slipped away…
Sakana felt herself being shaken awake. The taichou rubbed her eyes and blinked sleepily. Her entire body was shaking however, as she looked into Unohana's eyes.
"Are you alright?"
Sakana shook her head, her entire body shuddering. She felt even more intense emotions.
Fatality.
Someone had just died, recently in a room close by again.
Anguish.
Someone was suffering pain, but it wouldn't be as bad as hers.
Fear.
Somewhere in the Seireitei, someone was afraid for the future held.
Tension.
The entire Soul Society was on edge. Tension was the strongest thing Sakana felt. Her breathing caught in her throat, and tears sprang to her eyes. The feelings of the Soul Society bore down on her. Her entire body was trembling, and she was gasping for air, her head pounding. She felt dizzy, and let the darkness consume her as she fell unconscious.
Unohana gently hugged the shaking girl to her. Even though she had fainted, her body was still feeling the effects of her bankai. Stroking the young shunsai's head, she picked her up and shunpo'ed to Sakana's quarters.
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X
Translations and kuso like that
Enkouauto no Kyuukyoku: Ultimate Flameout. Kaenrinmaru's final bankai ability. If you've ever played Super Smash Bro. Brawl, it looks like Ho-oh's Sacred Fire. Basically burns anything within an inch within their life.
Mai yuki-ouji: My snow/ice prince.
Baka: idiot.
Nanto: Whatever. Sakana has a tendency to say "whatev", but I don't know how to translate that into Japanese. Would it just be nant? O.o
Aishiteru, kaen-hime: I love you, flame princess. Flame princess is Toshiro's nickname for Sakana whenever he is slightly out of it, especially after he has just woken up. Aishiteru means I love you.
Arigato: Thank you.
Reiryoku: I believe this means spiritual powers.
Anou: um…
Watashi Mo Aishiteru, yuki-ouji: I love you too, snow/ice prince. Watashi Mo means as well or also, and when paired with Aishiteru, is almost the equivalent of a proposal. I think…
Hai: Yes.
Shunsai: a genius or talented person.
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X
Holy [blank] on a [blank] sandwich! I really rewrote this chapter while I was working on rewriting chapter four! xP