Disclaimer- Gilmore Girls and the characters associated with the show are not mine.

Chapter Two: Friday 2:00 AM -Family

I hurt him. I hurt TJ. He couldn't handle me, and I couldn't stand his lovable stupidity one more second. I would have killed him. Smothering me. "Liz, come on, tell me what's wrong." Don't you get it? You're what's wrong. You and Doula and this whole damn life. No, I'm what's wrong, and I don't want Doula to know. I hurt him. But it's better this way. Besides, Terry's hot and great in bed.

"Do you have more information?" Rory asked, as she let the silent tears run down her cheeks. Not crying for Liz, she didn't know her well, and what she did know, she hadn't liked. Crying for Jess. Jess who would never have the chance now to find peace with his mother. To change their relationship, to get beyond their past. To get beyond making an effort for Doula's sake. Jess who wasn't moving. He was staring at a spot somewhere above Luke's head, eyes narrowed, as he absorbed Luke's words. The slightest tightening of the fingers entwined with hers, let Rory know Jess was paying attention. Luke sighed and fiddled with the hem of his tee shirt before answering.

"T.J. said Liz met a minstrel and followed him out to Colorado. Apparently there's some sort of permanent, summer long festival every weekend in Larkspur," Luke replied, staring at his feet. His head snapped up at Jess's dry chuckle. The look on Jess's face indicated he was not amused. Shooting a confused glance at Rory, Luke continued. "T.J. said the last time he talked to Liz, she sounded different, too excited, talked a mile a minute. He tried to convince her to come home. She didn't want him to come get her, said she was making plenty of money, and just screamed at him to bring her Doula. Which he didn't do, Thank God. Doula and T.J. have been staying with his parents in Maine. I thought, I thought I'd arrange to have Liz sent here. Bury her in Stars Hollow. But I have to go there. The investigator wants to talk to me. To us. Jess? Can you be ready to leave tomorrow morning?" Luke asked. Jess lowered his eyes to meet Luke's, making Luke cringe. Jess's eyes were cold. Glassy.

"I don't need to go. I already know what they're going to tell you," Jess replied. Rory squeezed his hand, hard, drawing his attention.

"What are they going to tell us, Jess?" she asked, loosening her grip. Jess looked at her, following the tear tracks on her cheeks, before refocusing his attention on the spot above Luke's head.

"They are going to tell you Liz and her new boyfriend were dealing. They are going to tell you the fire was caused by an explosion. Probably in the kitchen or laundry room. My guess is, it'll be the laundry room, since we know the trailer had one. They are going to tell you these fires burn very hot, very fast, and are hard to put out. They are going to tell you Liz was cooking meth," Jess said, voice monotone. Lorelai gasped. Luke looked down at his feet, fiddling with his shirt again. Jess stood. "There's no reason for me to go. Don't bring her here. I won't set foot near her grave, and I'd like to be buried in the Stars Hollow cemetery because this is where Rory will want to be buried. This is my home now. It was never hers." Hand on the door handle, Jess turned back to see Garret standing in his doorway. He'd been listening. The two shared a long look before Jess nodded, acknowledging Garret's concern, and walked out of the house.

Garret knew what Jess was going through could easily have happened to him. Still might, if and when Alex was released from jail. Of course, now he'd read about his bio mom's death in the paper with the rest of the world. The thought bothered him for a moment, but he pushed it aside to think about later. Compartmentalizing- one bad thing at a time. He knew Luke wasn't going to understand, and he felt his vow to be Jess's brother, at the adoption ceremony, had never been more important.

"I can't just leave her there," Luke said, shaking his head. Lorelai nodded her agreement, holding tight to Luke's arm.

"Yeah, yeah you can. Don't bring her here. Don't do it to Jess. I wouldn't have wanted it either. I don't want that, if it happens," Garret said from his spot by his door. Lorelai's face grew pale at the thought, and Luke let out a loud rattling sigh. Rory cringed, she needed to wrap this up fast because it was early November, cold outside, and Jess hadn't taken his coat. It would be icy on the bridge, and she was worried about him, more worried about him than Luke. She decided to be blunt, there wasn't time for anything else, and a lot needed to be said. She hadn't missed Lorelai's look when Jess mentioned knowing the trailer had a laundry room. Liz had been so happy about having it. Showing off the cupboards and the counter for folding clothes.

"Luke, I know she's your sister, but if you bring her home, you're choosing her over Jess. Since he said not to, it'll be going against his wishes, and he's the one alive. She won't know. Besides, it's beautiful out there. It's more her personality than Stars Hollow. Think about it. She loved the crazy eclectic lifestyle. She loved natural things. She fit there."

"The hippy dippy new-age crap she was always spouting," Luke replied. Rory continued as if he hadn't spoken.

"Jess and I, we knew she was in Colorado. We visited her on our honeymoon trip at the end of summer. Stopped by and saw her at the festival, it was huge with jousting and everything. She loved it and was so proud of her jewelry stand there, of her life there. We didn't know you weren't aware, and well, Jess didn't want to talk about her after we left. She was happy there, but Jess was pissed at her. At her leaving Doula, and he knew. Somehow he knew she was going to start using. He predicted it. God, Luke. We think we know what his life was like, because we read his book. But we don't. Not really. That's what's missing from his story. She's missing. What she did and why. How she lived. He's dealt with his reactions, his life, but not with her or her life. Please, please don't bring her back here. She loved the Rockies. Went on and on about how close to life and creation she was there," Rory was pleading now, begging Luke to listen. Lorelai left Luke's side and pulled Rory into a hug, smoothing her hand in circles on her daughter's back. Garret put his hand on Luke's shoulder.

"Please Dad, please don't hurt Jess more. Don't bring her back here. What Jess has been through, it'd be a reminder to have her here. If you want, I'll go with you to Colorado," he added, although the idea made him sick to his stomach.

"No, Garret. Jess is going to need you here. I'll go with Luke. We'll find Liz a nice place with a view of the mountains," Lorelai replied.

"Yeah," Luke said a minute later, agreeing. "A view of the mountains."

"Maybe, someday when he's ready, Jess will go say goodbye," Lorelai added. Rory and Garret looked away as they thought the same thing.

It wasn't going to happen.

A/N- As always, please review. I seem to get lots of readers to my stories, but very few reviews, which makes me sad. The next few chapters take place in Stars Hollow, but I will be getting back to Luke.