A/N- Fair warning… this chapter is sex. And not the tender, hopefully well written, and beautiful sex in Candlelight On Your Skin, which despite being my most read story, (averaging around 15 views a day -Dirty Dirty readers!) only has a few reviews. No, this chapter is sex of a different sort. I think it's in character though.

Review and tell me what you think, and next time you read COYS, review there too! I had to rework this chapter a bit because what I'd written was too close to imagery used in the exceptional Adverse Events by lost0and0found. (Used in a totally different way of course!)

Why did I feel it necessary to add this chapter? I felt Jess needed an "active" response to Liz's death, and I didn't really see him going for a run…

Disclaimer- Gilmore Girls and the characters associated with the show are not mine.

Chapter Four: Friday 6:00 AM –Jess

Luke came. He happened to be in New York and decided to pay us a visit. Jess hid in the closet, and didn't even come out for the Tonka truck Luke brought him. I could tell Luke didn't want to be here. I don't blame him, I haven't cleaned in months. He took the garbage out, washed the dishes, and after he left, he dropped back by with a box of food. I don't think he knew I was high. I didn't tell him I'm moving to Boston.

Rory wasn't surprised to wake without Jess. He often rose before her, going downstairs to write in the library or the office. She no longer felt a clench of fear at the empty bed. However, she was surprised to see him sitting on the floor against the bedroom wall.

"What are you doing over there?" she asked, her voice hesitant.

"Trying to keep myself from touching you, so you can sleep," Jess replied, his voice hoarse. He'd been fighting his need since they climbed into bed. Lying next to her had proven to be too much. He had eased out from under the covers and watched her by the early morning light seeping in around the blinds. Forcing himself to stay still, to not fuck her. Because what he was feeling right now wasn't about love, it was about want and need, and just the tiniest bit of anger. Not at her, of course, but at the world. Plus he knew his lust, besides being the desire he always carried for her, was heightened by the call for an affirmation of life. None of which equaled love, and taking her without it, waking her and initiating sex without her being fully aware of his motivations was wrong. Part of him knew, the love was there, always, but it didn't make it right. Clenching his fingers into fists at his sides, he watched Rory process his words, his demeanor, and the narrowing of her eyes, told him she understood.

Letting the blanket fall as she rose from the bed, Rory moved to stand in front of Jess. Her white tank, washed thin, and regulated to the pajama drawer, covered her breasts, but didn't conceal them. Differences in skin tones created a watercolor of her body in the morning light. The top skimmed the waist band of her white cotton briefs and the combination was a turn-on. Jess knew, with barely any moisture from his mouth, the thin material would be rendered transparent. His blood pulsed in response. Closing his eyes and drawing a harsh breath, he leaned his head against the wall, still clenching and unclenching his fingers, itching to feel her. She'd either approach or not, but it had to be her choice.

And Rory got it. She could tell by his posture, the way he held himself in check, how tight he was wound.

She understood touching him would unleash his control. And she wanted it.

She wanted to be the fuel for the fire within him.

She wanted to be the cliff he crashed against in waves. She wanted all of his need.

She had always wanted his need.

Reaching down, she slid her fingers into his hair, holding the back of his head as he surged off the floor, lifting her, rushing her on to the bed. Letting herself be carried backwards. His mouth eating at hers, one hand capturing her breast as the other ripped off her underwear. Relaxing into his kisses, Rory was swept up. There was no use fighting against the current, she let herself feel. Every touch, every nip, every scrape of his nails. The force of his fingers. His breath, hot and ragged through her tank top. His tongue filling her mouth as he pulled her deeper into his kiss. Grinding his lips against hers, searing across her neck. The sound the material made as he ripped her tank to bare her breasts to his touch. The hard thrust as he entered her. She clung, and held, tightening her grip, and during the moments she could draw enough breath, she chanted the words "love you" over and over.

Spent, Jess collapsed against Rory's body, subduing her building anticipation with his weight. Burying his face in her neck, he relished the feel of her arms squeezing him harder, closer. Shuddering as he fought the emotions overwhelming him. Knowing he hadn't brought her. Had used her. Too exhausted for more, he rolled them on their sides, tucking her into his body. Rory wiggled her arm out from underneath him, placed a kiss against his sternum, and whispered her love before falling back asleep. After smoothing her damp tendrils of hair away from her forehead, Jess placed a small kiss there, thanking her. Appreciating her gift. After promising himself he'd make it up to her, he closed his eyes, and drifted into a fitful sleep.

A/N- Review! and a question- did the way it's formatted slow you down in the middle section, and then speed your reading during the sex? I wanted to add to the speed of the scene, the sex, did it work? Next chapter is back to Luke.