Zack clutched the flyer in a sweaty hand. It's too-bright colors advertised the Jeffersonian's LGBT support group. As he nervously walked down the hallway to the meeting room, he folded and unfolded the paper in his hand. Why was he so nervous? He can walk in, listen, and leave without any of his acquaintances knowing the wiser. The Jeffersonian was huge. The probability of someone he knew in that meeting was minimal. And then there was the nagging voice in the back of his head that told him being ashamed of something he could not change was illogical, that he should just accept it already and move on. He hated being illogical and hated that he was hating himself. Lost in thought, he pushed the door open. Staring at the ground, he found a metal chair in the corner of the room and sank into it. He could hear others filing in around him, but he refused to look up. A female voice rose, and the meeting began.
"Welcome to this year's first LGBT at the Jeffersonian meeting! I see a lot of familiar faces," she paused, and Zack assumed she was waving at one of those familiars, "And a few newbies. I think we ought to introduce ourselves first thing. Let's go around and say our name and department. Would you like to start?" The leader motioned to the girl (Zack assumed by the shoes, although frankly, he chided himself, that room was not a good place for assumptions) to her right to start.
"Hi," the girl began. Zack started, startled by the familiar voice. "I'm Naomi from Paleontology." Zack finally raised his head and met her gaze. She shyly smiled and gave a quick wave. Dumbfounded, he raised his hand in return. Other employees gave their names, but Zack was still processing the unexpected development. Finally, it was his turn. Deep breath.
"Hello. I'm Dr. Addy from the medico-legal department," he shared quickly.
"Thank you, everyone," the leader spoke again. "Now let's continue wit-" Zack tuned the woman out, looking back at Naomi. She made eye contact and smiled, bigger this time. Zack did the same.
"Seriously?" She mouthed. Zack shrugged good-naturedly.
"This explains a lot," he responded. She squinted.
"I'm not so good at lip reading," she confessed. Zack motioned for her to sit next to him. She declined, motioning to the leader, who was growing increasingly annoyed with their behavior. It was high school all over again. When the time came to break into pairs, Naomi made a beeline to the chair next to Zack's.
"So, this happened..." She giggled. Zack bit his lip.
"Were you, you know... when we were together?"
"I guess I was, but I didn't know it."
"Same."
"When did you realize? Please don't say it was when you were with me," Naomi asked. Zack hesitated. "Really? I was that bad?" Naomi laughed.
"No, no, of course not. Frankly all of our, well, bed-problems were my fault. I suppose this is why."
"You know I was always very fond of you," Naomi said gently.
"And I, you."
"How did you find out about this program?"
"Dr. Saroyan said it was in her Jeffersonian monthly email and found me a flyer."
"Wait, Dr. Saroyan knows? Am I the last one in the world to find out?"
"No," Zack assured her. "She found out recently. I only started telling people recently. I really only figured it out recently. I was not keen on letting people know, but most of the literature says other people knowing is good for your own conception of yourself. It helps with acceptance and self esteem or something of that ilk."
"Are you having self acceptance problems?"
"A little."
"Well I accept you." Naomi held out her hand.
"I accept you as well." Zack shook it. There was a moment of silence.
"I'm not loving this meeting," Naomi motioned to the leader behind her who was speaking with a different group. "It's a little touchy-feeley."
"To tell you the truth, I was not listening to a large portion of it."
"Eh. You didn't miss much. We should go to lunch sometime."
"I would like that."
"I miss talking to you."
"I agree."
"You miss talking to yourself?" Naomi teased.
"I can do that whenever I want. I miss talking to you." Zack stated blankly.
"Thank you for clarifying." Zack nodded in response. "Do you want to just get out of here now?"
"I don't want to be rude," Zack trailed off. Naomi shrugged. "Your call. You think they're going to get to something of substance?"
"I think most people here are enjoying the meeting." He looked around at the pairs. Many were deep in conversation. "Next time maybe we should pair up with people we don't know to benefit from the meeting."
"No offense taken," she joked. At Zack's panicked expression, she added, "Good point. Although, I'm glad we did this."
"I agree." The rest of the group started coming back to the front of the room, taking their original seats. The leader resumed her post.
"I'm going to go back to my seat now. It was nice seeing you," Naomi said.
"It was nice seeing you as well. I hope we can do it again soon."
"For sure," Naomi nodded and vacated the chair. Zack watched her walk back. He'd have to debate the repercussions of their meeting later. For now, he felt safer.
