A/N- I knew the last chapter might be too much to bear for some. I appreciate you continuing to read, and hope I do your trust in my storytelling justice. I know I lost readers by giving Jess mob ties in Learning To Trust, but for those who stuck with, I think I tied it together, making it work. I know I lost a reader last chapter, and for that, I'm sad. Hopefully, I tie the rest of the story together enough for you to stick with it.

Disclaimer- Gilmore Girls and the characters associated with the show are not mine.

Chapter Fourteen: Saturday 6:00PM- Family

Jessie was screaming again. The neighbor said he was teething, and gave me some whiskey to rub in his mouth. He got real quiet and fell asleep. I felt like such an idiot, not knowing how to take care of my own kid. I wish she would have left the liquor. Oh well, at least I might get some sleep tonight.

Rory managed to get Jess home, but he froze when he caught sight of Patty's scarf lying on the floor where he'd dropped it.

"Throw it away. Please," Jess said, the first words he'd spoken since he'd shown up in Truncheon 2. Grabbing the scarf, Rory threw it away in the kitchen garbage, and guided Jess into the library. Sitting down on the couch, Jess leaned his head back and stared up at the ceiling. He needed to speak. To tell Rory something, anything, but although he knew the words, he couldn't force them out. He felt frozen, as cold inside as when he left Rory last winter.

"Jess, please talk to me. I'm here. Whatever you need," she said. Hesitant. After a half an hour of silence, she texted Garret to come home. Receiving no reply, she texted Lane to find him.

Jess, I don't know what to do. How can I help you?" she asked. The only response was Jess raising his arm up. Moving from her spot watching him, she curled up in his lap and clung. Feeling his arm lower, and hold her gently, she tucked her head under his chin. She waited.

Taylor was puffing along the street, when he saw Garret playing football with his friends.

"Rory's looking for you, it's Jess. You're needed at their house," he yelled, gasping cold air into his lungs. Stopping, he put his hands on his knees and motioned Garret over.

"I tried to call Jess, to tell him we moved the lighted fields. I left him a message," Garret said, running to Taylor's side. "What happened?" he asked. Taylor shook his head.

"He knows now. He knows why his mom acted the way she did. He needs you. Go home," Taylor replied, as Garret took off at a run.

Crashing into the house, Garret knew they'd be in the library.

"Jess!" he yelled, sliding to a stop in the door at the sight of Rory clinging to his brother, her body practically wrapped around his on the couch. His arms holding her close. Jess was pale, and clammy looking. "Is he in shock?" Garret asked, moving into the room.

"I don't know, he's only said four words since he found me at work. I don't know what happened."

"Taylor said Jess knew the truth now about Liz," Garret replied, standing in front of Jess. "What's the truth Jess? What made her act the way she did?" Not getting a response, Garret paced back and forth in front of Jess. "What happened to Liz?" he yelled in Jess's face, trying to snap him out of it. Jess's eyes focused for a second on Garret before drifting closed.

"I typed it," Jess muttered before tightening his arms around Rory, not letting go. Then he felt himself slipping away again, letting the warmth of her body against his drive away the voices. He didn't hear Garret going into the office and bringing the laptop out

Gaining Rory's permission with the nod of her head, Garret began to read out loud. He didn't know if he could get through it, and he wished Jess wasn't such a descriptive writer. Rory tried not to sniff as she cried in Jess's arms. Keeping her body as still as possible so he wouldn't feel her shake with sobs. Garret continued reading, forcing the words out, his voice harsh at times. He was surprised he was able to finish. Closing the laptop, he set it down, and picked up the bottle of whiskey he found on the floor. Not knowing what to do with it, he set it on the table, and needing to get away, he began to gather the empty coffee cups. Taking them into the kitchen, he loaded them into the dishwasher, before splashing cold water on his face in the sink. He felt sick to his stomach as he took short shallow breaths, his shaking hands gripping the cold metal.

"Where's Garret?" Jess asked, coming out of his stupor in the sudden silence as his brain processed the last few minutes, and his protective instincts kicked into gear.

"He went into the kitchen with the glasses," Rory said, surprised as Jess shoved her off his lap and took off down the hall.

"Shit, Garret. Shit. I'm sorry," Jess said, prying Garret's cold hands off the sink, and helping him sit down at the table. "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. I didn't think. I didn't understand what was happening until it was over. You shouldn't have read that, I'm sorry." Garret looked at Jess crouched in front of him. Jess's eyes were huge, darting from Garret's shaking hands up to his eyes. Searching.

"How did you know?" Garret asked, whispering. He'd never said anything, and it happened so long ago, the first time he was removed from his bio-mom's care, he hardly remembered it.

"The social worker mentioned it to Lorelai, and she came to me. She wanted to know if it had happened to me. Hoping I could help you," Jess replied, discretely motioning Rory out of sight. He knew she wouldn't leave, she'd be listening, but this conversation required at least the illusion of privacy.

"Had it? Happened to you?" Garret asked, trying not to get sick. Fighting his nausea at the thought of Jess being hurt that way.

"No. Not really. There was one guy, who I caught in my room with my underwear. He was very touchy feely. I didn't go home much when Liz dated him. I'd met Ray by then, and spent most of my time at his house."

"Does everyone know? About me?"

"Lorelai, Luke, Rory. Me. Not the details, just that you were three, and it happened. Your mom actually did things right. She took you to the hospital. You were hurt, pretty badly, and she knew why right away. She lost you for a short while, until they were sure she wasn't involved, but the guy was arrested and sent to jail," Jess replied. "You were so young. I can't imagine."

"I don't remember it, not really. I remember pain. I remember the hospital, there was ice cream and red jello cups. What happened to your mom, it was worse. Way worse. I'm sorry for her, and I bet it really messed her up. Made her act the way she did," Garret added.

"Maybe, but ultimately, we make our own futures. I got past the abuse, the poverty, the neglect. You have too. Is what we went through any less life changing? No, not really. The guy who molested her, it sounds like he had shit happen to him in Vietnam, captured, but he could have made different choices. He could have controlled himself. Sought help. I don't know yet what difference this makes in how I feel. It ties stuff together, but I'm not sure it excuses someone in their thirties or forties from bad decisions," Jess said, as Garret nodded.

"It doesn't. But it helps to explain why their decision making process might be messed up. I'm sorry Garret, I was listening. All of us here are victims of some sort of abuse. We've all had- trauma. It's whether we let it control us, or we find a way past it which matters. You're the amazing one in this room. You didn't let your life change you," Rory said, sitting down at the table after opening a box of pop tarts.

"She's right. I let the anger win. It took me years to get past it enough to make different choices. To stop running. You never closed yourself off, you've always been braver than me. Because it takes courage to keep embracing life. To be open to love," Jess added.

"What happened to you?" Garret asked Rory, confused. Rory froze mid reach as she went to grab another pop tart. It hadn't occurred to her he wouldn't know what she was referring to. They were all so close, it felt as if he'd always been part of their lives. Jess took her hand in his, and as she looked down at the table, he spoke.

"In Haiti, she was beaten almost to death. She was also taken hostage in Mexico, tied up, kept waiting to be shot, before she was rescued. You wouldn't know it looking at her, but Rory was in constant danger for a couple of years as an overseas correspondent for the New York Times. The worst was in Darfur. Her interpreter was shot and killed in front of her, and she was raped. She was attacked several times there, before they switched her with a male reporter."

"When I came home, after Afghanistan, I couldn't handle things. Luke helped me. He let me stay in the diner apartment and arranged for a psychiatrist to come see me. I met with her for several years. I still talk to her sometimes. I don't know what would have happened to me if Luke wouldn't have found me having a nightmare and gotten me help. Maybe I would have started drinking, or using drugs to forget, to bury the pain. I know it was getting to be too much," Rory said, twisting her hair around her finger.

"You're strong, you would have been okay," Garret said, and Rory laughed.

"No, Garret, I'm not strong without thinking first. Without deciding to be strong, and then I think my stubbornness, more than anything, sees me through. Forces me to be strong. Back then, my brain was too muddled to think things through by myself. When it comes to myself, I'm a runner, an ostrich with my head buried in the sand. It happens time and time again. My fatal flaw. It's a conscious effort to not hide from myself."

"Enough of this, I don't know about you two, but I need something ridiculous. A really funny movie. Or one so bad it's good. Garret, you call for pizza. Rory, you get the snacks and drinks. It's after six, so how about no caffeine? Maybe a healthy snack choice?" Jess said, standing and kissing Rory on the head before ruffling Garret's hair. "I'll pick the movie."

Heading into the library, Jess took a page out of Rory's life, and decided to be strong for Garret and Rory. He decided to keep himself in the here and now for them. It was too dangerous to let himself close down. They needed him.

A/N- Please review.