Disclaimer: I do not own GG or the NJBC.

A/N: New chapter! Thanks for reading, and thank you to everyone who already left a review/alerted/favorited! :D Really, thanks a billion! It might be a while before the next update, though, sorry.

Matchmaker, Matchmaker

CATCH ME A CATCH

Serena burst into the ladies' room, looking frantically for her best friend.

"Blair! Blair! Is it— are you— relapse? What's going on?"

Blair looked up and smiled dazzlingly. She looked impeccable, as always, in a short black dress with a dark green ivy pattern, accentuated by a matching headband.

"It's okay, S. I'm totally fine," she said, waving her hand dismissively. "You, on the other hand, have a serious problem. Which is why you're here!"

"Huh?" asked Serena, baffled.

"Consider this: When's the last time you went on a date with someone you weren't practically related to, ew; being conned by; or, cough cough Rabbit Face, having a 'non-exclusive' relationship with?"

"Did you just call Aaron Rabbit Face?!"

"You haven't! Exactly!" continued Blair, as if oblivious to Serena's question. "So, right now, you and Nate are on a date, yay! But the fact remains that you are woefully inadequate when it comes to dating experience. I, on the other hand, have been dating Nate since kindergarten, making me somewhat of an expert on the subject. Which is why we're here to help you!"

"We?"

"My lovely assistant, Chuck Bass!" announced Blair with the sweeping gestures of a game show host. Chuck walked in and gave a small bow. For some reason, he had dozens of fake leaves glued to his hat.

"Wait, this is the ladies' room!" blurted Serena.

"I'm Chuck Bass," he shrugged. "But really, Blair, lovely? You forget who you're talking about."

"Fine. The sexiest man alive, Chuck Bass!"

He nodded in approval.

"Operation: Serenate will now commence!" Blair exclaimed happily.

"Wait! You gave us a cutesy couple's name?" demanded Serena.

"Yeah," said Blair, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Operation: Serena-slash-Nate was too much of a mouthful. So! We're moving on to Lesson #3: The After Date."

"So I'm seriously supposed to be taking relationship advice from you two?"

They looked at her like she was delusional.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Blair asked suspiciously.

"I mean, I don't exactly want to go through a year and a half of drama before he can finally admit that he loves me," she said, laughing a little bit. They didn't join in. In fact, they both gave her the death stare.

"Uh, I meant, of course, that I'd be happy to take any advice from you two, since you have known true love!"

"Really, Serena," commented Chuck sarcastically. They kept staring.

"Look, you guys, I know that you were stalking me and Nate today," she began.

"And we know that you know," interjected Blair. "We heard you trying to figure out which couple was us. It was very entertaining, even though you were totally off-base."

"You heard us?!"

"Of course! And you two never suspected a thing!" Blair sang.

"But where were you?" asked Serena, kind of confused but still curious.

"Behind the potted plants in the corner!"

Well, that explained the odd get-ups. Serena sighed. She knew from past experience that when Chuck and Blair were in obsessed mode, resistance was futile.

"Fine, just say what you're gonna say so we can be done with this."

Blair beamed.

"Oh, we can do much better than that! We're giving you a demonstration!"

Serena decided to be the bigger person and kept her mouth shut.

"Okay, so I'm Serena," waved Blair.

"And I'm Nate!" squeaked Chuck in a ridiculous falsetto. Blair and Serena tried to look at him disapprovingly but couldn't help but crack up. "What can I say?" he continued in his normal voice. "The voice of Chuck Bass contains too much testosterone to ever be mistaken for an Archibald."

Blair rolled her eyes.

"So, Nate and Serena are walking home together." They began to walk in place. "Nate does this weird thing sometimes where his arm will twitch. It's not because he's epileptic or has fleas–" Serena stifled a giggle, "–but because he's trying to work up enough courage to hold hands." Chuck obligingly twitched his arm like he was receiving an electric shock. "At this point, you can smile, reach over, and take his hand. Tada!"

"OhmygoshChuckandBlairholdinghands!" squealed Serena, whipping out her phone and snapping a picture before they had time to react.

Blair looked at Chuck and flushed slightly. "I may have told her about a certain comment of yours..."

"I just sent it to all my friends!" Serena shouted happily.

"I suppose that's what we get for stalking her," muttered Chuck.

Serena laughed triumphantly at the picture on her phone.

"Now it's my wallpaper!"

"Moving on!" shouted Blair. "So, eventually, you're going to have to part ways. Hence, the Goodbye Kiss. Being the nice people that we are, we'll break it down for you into its basic parts."

"Hey!" interrupted Serena. "I already know how to kiss!"

"Serena, Serena, Serena," Blair shook her head sadly, "you just don't know the difference between a regular kiss and a make-him-ask-you-on-a-second-date-kiss!"

"Well, technically, he didn't ask me on a first date. And come on! There's no diff–" began Serena, only to be silenced by Blair.

"Now, Serena," she asked, her voice dripping with false sweetness, "which one of us has the smokin' hot boyfriend?" Serena sighed and shut up. "First, turn so you're facing each other. Then say something nice about the date. Nate, I had a really great time with you today."

"Yeah, it was a lot of fun, Serena!" squeaked Chuck with false enthusiasm. Serena tried desperately to contain her giggles.

"Make sure you're watching this part, S," Blair murmured, not taking her eyes off of Chuck's. They slowly moved closer until they were almost touching. Blair tilted her face up slightly and Chuck leaned forward. Their lips brushed together softly. Blair closed her eyes and pulled Chuck closer, deepening the kiss. He wrapped one arm around her waist, her body bowing against his own. She caressed Chuck's head and shoulders, ruffling his short dark hair.

"Wait a second!" interrupted Serena, getting annoyed. "This is just another excuse for you two to make out in front of me, isn't it?"

Blair surfaced from the passionate embrace just long enough to gasp, "Of course not! It's an educational experience!"

Serena stomped out of the bathroom, exasperated. She grabbed Nate, who had been playing some sort of pinball game on his phone, and yanked him to his feet.

"We're leaving. Now." she said grumpily.

"Is something wrong?" Nate looked concerned.

"No, well," she sighed, waving her hands about absentmindedly. "I guess not. It's just, you know... Chuck and Blair. They're going at it in the bathroom, so I figured now would be a good time to leave, you know, if we don't want to be stalked."

"Chuck and Blair?" he asked, appalled. "In a bathroom? No! I can't believe it! That is so unlike them!" They kept a straight face for all of three seconds before collapsing into hysterical laughter.

"Come on! Let's go!" urged Serena, still giggling. They joined hands effortlessly and ran out of the restaurant, racing down the sidewalk. The wind whipped through Serena's hair and made Nate's jacket billow out behind him like a cape. They turned corners crazily, flying over the pavement and waving their fingers in the breeze. The sun sparkled overhead magnificently. It seemed they could run on forever. They felt free, exhilarated, like children again.

That is, until Serena tripped over a tree root and went sprawling to the ground.

CRACK!

And broke her leg.

Oops.

you know you love me
xoxo

A/N: What do you think so far? Review? ^.^