Ok primovere, irenebalazs and lovereads, you asked for me to "update soon" so here ya go, two updates in two days! No promises as to whether this can happen again. I just found a little bit of down time and 'whipped' this out. Pun intended! :D

APOV

I've made up my mind! Tonight's the night I will overcome my fears! I will face them head on, on my own! I shouldn't have to rely on anyone's help!

A part of me knows I should have done this a long time ago but I'm a coward not willing to own up to the wrongs that I have done. The sins that I have committed against my parents, against Noah's parents! It wasn't their fault! They shouldn't be dead!

If I can get through this perhaps I can forgive myself, if only for a moment, to be free from the guilt that I constantly carry. It is my cross to bear. I am responsible and If I cannot get through this, if I go down in the water, never to return then my pain will be over once and for all! No more pain, no more guilt, no more nightmares!

I am not afraid and I have a new-found determination. I get dressed quickly in my bikini and cover up with shorts and a tank top. No one will be at the boathouse so I know I will not be disturbed. I know that Noah is probably resting or working out on an erg but I need to speak to him, he needs to know that I love him. That I will always love him, no matter what.

I call his cell phone and he answers on the second ring. He must have been sleeping as he just manages to grunt, "Hello...?"

"Hi baby! It's Ana." I say as I feel a knot in my throat.

"What's up baby? I was sleeping." He moans.

"I'll let you sleep Noah, I just wanted to say that I love you. I love you very much!" I feel the tears well up.

"I know Ana, love you too...m going to sleep...m tired."

I hear Holly walk in the room and she asks, "Hey Ana, you going for a swim?"

I cover the phone in the hopes that Noah didn't hear that remark and I quickly say to Noah, "Sleep well my beautiful boyfriend." I close the call.

"Yup," I say to Holly as I head out. "I'll see you later."

"Ok, have fun and you better win tomorrow! I can't wait to see the guys throw you in lake!" She giggles.

"Yeah, I can't either." I say as I close the door and march to the boathouse. It's now or never I think to myself.

I reach the boathouse and head towards the dock. I look at the water and I can already feel it calling out to me. There is a force pulling me to the water, it wants to claim me, to take what it should have taken that night, not my parents not Noah's parents but me!

An odd wave of peacefulness washes over me, I'm facing the demon and we both know what's going to happen. Fight or flight, which will it be. We shall soon find out.

I turn around quickly as I feel as though I am being watched. I scan the area, there is no one to be found. I'm just a bundle of nerves. I strip down to my bikini and sit at the edge of the dock. I tentatively dip my feet in the water and I do not feel that 'pulling down' sensation.

I decide that the moment is now, "Mommy and Daddy, I love you both so much. Nino Andrew and Nina Stephanie, I love you both so much. I'll see you soon or later...I'm not sure which but, here goes nothing!"

I take a deep breath and go in the water.

CPOV

I'm about the leave the boathouse after going out on a single like I do every night. I like to be alone and get lost in my thoughts. I row out as far as I can and just drift, it's peaceful and calming. Something that I didn't have in my early childhood.

Christian, help mommy find her medicine. That's a good boy.

I push the voice out of my head and I turn to see my Firecracker. I quickly hide so she cannot see me. She turns to scan the area. She obviously wants to be alone. What can she be up to at this hour?

She's wearing some cut off jean shorts and a tank top that caress her lovely and delicate curves. She looks down at the water and I see a look of fear over take her. She takes a deep breath and strips off her clothes and I feel my cock twitch.

Fuck!

I hope she's not meeting him here. I don't think I could take another show of them and their love-making. It's too much for me and my heart to bear. I want her like I've never wanted anything else before.

God, if you do exist, prove it to me. Let me have her, let this goddess be mine.

The Firecracker sits at the edge of the dock and dips her pretty little feet in the water. Shit, now I hope that Noah does show up. After her panic attack, she has no business being near the water, especially on her own.

I see her take a deep breath and before I can say anything, I hear her say something and then she dives in!

Holy fuck! I run like I've never run before, trying to get to her before she goes under. Mother fucker! What the hell is she doing?

I see it all happen in slow motion, she appears to be relaxed and then suddenly she goes under. I scream, "Ana! No!" I jump in the water and I reach for her as she's going down.

"Ana, hang on!" I shout and she grabs me and pulls me under once more. I'm ready this time and I take a breath before I go down. I push myself up and grab her from behind again. I hold her close, her back to my front. I breath loudly and try to regulate her breathing. I can hear her trying to contain a sob.

"Sssshhhh, hush now. It's ok, you're ok baby. I'm here, you're safe. Just breathe." I say as I stroke her hair.

Her body feels so good against me and I feel that pull, that connection that draws us together.

"Ana, I'm going to turn you around now."

"No, don't let me go. I'm going under. They're going to take me. I've been bad." She says as she begins to sob.

"Hey, I won't let you go and what are you talking about? No one is going to take you." I say as I turn her to face me.

Her face is down, she won't look at me.

"Hey," I say as I cup her chin. "It's ok sweetheart, you're safe." I feel myself wanting to kiss her and before I lose control I lift her up on the dock.

I wait a few moments for my cock to calm down and I jump on the dock. Ana had the good sense to bring a towel which I quickly wrap around her. She starts to shiver and I hold her close, her head is down. I lean in and take in her scent.

Being this near to Ana is very dangerous for me. She intoxicates me and makes me want to lose control. She is not mine...yet. I must remain calm, then suddenly the anger hits me and I back away.

Why is she alone? Why did she want to go in the water alone?

Before I can stop myself, I shout at her. "Just what in the hell did you think you were doing out there?!"

"I...I was trying to overcome my fear of the water." She says quietly still looking down at her feet as though they hold some magic answers or something.

"Like this?! Alone? What the fuck were you thinking? Oh that's right, you weren't thinking were you?" I shout again at her, more in frustration that this enticing creature isn't mine rather than anything else.

"What business is it of yours anyway? Why can't you leave me alone?" She spits back at me and puts her hands on her hips. God I would love to grab those hips and...shit! Control Grey! Get back to the issue at hand.

"I can't leave you alone because...well...because you're my cox! I want to be the best and I can't lose you...that is, I mean, the team, we as a team can't lose you!" Shit! Nice recovery Grey. Let's hope she doesn't pick up on your slip!

"We're going to lose anyway if I can't swim! This is over for me!" Ana cries out desperately.

"Hey, hush now. It's not over." I say as I step closer and caress her cheek.

Watch your boundaries Grey!

I take a step back.

"Yes, it is. I can't do this. My dreams are over." She whispers in a soft voice that is breaking my heart. This is all she wants and she's afraid she can't do it. She doesn't seem to panic with me. Maybe I can help her.

I take a step forward again.

"What if, what if I help you?" I say as I cup her chin and move her hair out of her baby blues.

"You'd do that...for me?" She looks at me in complete surprise and her face lights up with her signature beautiful smile.

Oh baby, if you only knew!

"Of course I will. If it will help you achieve your goals and make your dreams come true...well, of course I want to do it for myself and for the team as well." I say quickly.

You're slipping Grey. She's going to figure out that you have an ulterior motive and that is to get inside her panties!

Her eyes light up like nothing I've ever seen and my breath hitches as she approaches me. What happens next feels as though it's happening in slow motion. She launches herself at me and gives me a hug. I feel her warmth shoot through my body. Holy fucking hell, she feels fucking fabulous!

"Oh my gosh! Thanks Christian! I really do appreciate it!" She says and she backs quickly away. I see her face turn red and she blushes all over.

My God she's fucking adorable! God I want her in the worst way!

"You're quite welcome Anastasia." Her name is a prayer that rolls off my tongue.

I can almost taste her sweetness just by saying her angelic name...Anastasia.

She backs away with a spring in her step and she says to me, "I have to go now!"

"Ok!" I say sounding like a love-sick high school fuck!

Before she runs off she turns and shouts, "I'm so excited that you're going to help me! I can't wait to share my news with Noah! He'll be so happy that you are going to help me! I will finally be able to get back in the water!"

And with those words she disappears.

She's going to tell Noah?!

Well, I gotta hand it to her. She really does believe my motives are purely innocent. I almost feel guilty for setting her up in my trap...I almost feel guilty but not quite!

APOV

I ran back to my dorm room filled with excitement and new promise! I don't seem to have that pulling sensation when Christian helps me in the water, I wonder why?

Yes, why is it that you feel that way with Noah? Hmmmmmm...is the guilt weighing you down?

I ignore the voice in my head and call Noah. I have to share my news with him! It goes directly to voicemail. Perhaps his phone died, he might be charging his battery.

Holly is already out for the night so I decide that I will speak to Noah in the morning.

Yup! Tomorrow will be a new day with a new beginning for me!

A/N

Ana called her God Parent's Nino and Nina short for which is short for "Padrino" and "Madrina" which is Spanish for God Parents. Noah's mother-Stephanie was Latina and she taught Noah and Ana a few words in Spanish. Stephanie was so honored to be Ana's God Mother that she kindly asked Ana to call her Nina and to call Andrew Nino.

I forgot to mention in my previous update that Elena does not exist in this story. I know, I know, try not to shed too many tears! :D

Please forgive me for not recalling your FF name but who told me about the screaming fireworks? Please PM me because I would like permission to use your line in my story. Thank you so much.

Keep Reading, Keep Reviewing and Keep Smiling! :D

Rosie