Wishing and Hoping

More schlock. Trying to move them out of neutral but damn if this isn't a pleasant water torture. Title comes from Dusty Springfield's-Wishing and Hoping.

The sunlight filtered in through the blinds, leaving zebra stripes of sunlight across Natalia as she lay curled up in bed, the cell phone laying just in the crook of her right arm. She groaned and shifted under the covers, turning her face away from the sun. She snuggled deeper into the blankets, the sands of sleep dusting off her shoulders with each movement until she lay in bed, wistfully thinking about the conversation she had with Olivia last night. She can wait. I wouldn't make her wait forever just long enough for me to find my step. She sighed and glanced at the clock as it stared off back at her, it was a little after 9 in the morning. She pushed up on her palms and looked around the room, remembering that Rafe was home and chastising herself for sleeping in, even if it was only for a few minutes. She rolled onto her back and felt the phone tumble against her body. She grabbed it and saw it was dead.

I think we fell asleep on the phone...There was only one way to find out.

She climbed out of bed, searching for her charger. She found it and plugged it before going on her morning routine. Freshly showered, she dressed and made her way upstairs to Rafe's bedroom. She knocked twice and waited for an answer. "Rafe?" she called through the door, her hand braced on the knob, trying to not force her way into the room. "Rafe? Are you there?" she hesitated. She decided against opening the door and instead returned downstairs. She made her way to the kitchen and found a note was left on the fridge door.

"Out for a run.- Rafe" it read simply. She sighed. It was too late for Olivia to come over with Emma for breakfast. Olivia. She reached for the house phone and dialed Olivia's number.

Olivia had a hard time functioning without her cell phone. Or Natalia but more the cell phone at the moment, even if the brunette was a VERY close second. She dropped off Emma at school, the phone charging in the cigarette burner. She wasn't sure where she should drive to because work was of the utmost importance but she wasn't in a rush to go back to The Beacon just yet. You have to be patient, Ollie. She reminded herself, using the nickname Dinah had given her as a joke. You left the door open, she has to be the one to walk through it. She found it difficult to fight against her WANT TAKE HAVE nature but with something as rewarding as Natalia, she was more than willing to make the effort, despite all the difficulties that still lay ahead. People running their mouths is just par for the course. She sighed heavily. Seriously, I'm going to snap with all this angst.

Brrpt! Olivia looked down at her phone as it bounced around in the cupholder. Natalia.

"Hey you." Olivia said cooly, sliding back in the drivers seat. The car sat in the parking lot of Emma's school thanks to Olivia's inability to will herself to go somewhere else. "I was thinking about you."

"Good things I hope?" Natalia said with a smile. She stood in the kitchen, her back leaning against the counter, her left hand cradling the phone, a mug of coffee in her right.

"I don't think about anything else..." Olivia replied, cheeks blushing.

Natalia was at a loss for words. She took a sip of coffee and smiled. "What're you up to?"

"Right now? Sitting in the car."

"Oh." Opportunity knocks. "Doing anything special?"

Olivia's blush went from pink to magenta. "No. Have something in mind?"

"Well, my kitchen is open, if you haven't had breakfast that is."

Olivia's stomach rumbled. "That sounded like an invitation."

"Would you prefer a formal invitation?"

"Humor me."

"Ms. Spencer, are you available for brunch?"

"I'm available."

"Okay. So. I'll see you soon?" Natalia couldn't stop smiling.

I'm going to violate every single traffic law. "You sure will."

Music filled the kitchen as Natalia bustled around whipping the pancake batter in a large bowl. She let her hand hover over the griddle and began to ladle it on. Okay, so I got the courage to ask her over, that's one small hurdle. I still have no idea what to expect though, or what she expects. I have to learn to let go and just feel but all I feel is nervous. She flipped over one pancake and readied her spatula for a second when she heard a knock on the kitchen door. She turned and saw Olivia standing outside, breathing into the palm of her hand and checking her breath. That's smooth. Natalia flipped over the three pancakes before crossing to the door and opening it. Olivia floated in with the breeze and immediately pulled Natalia to her in a hug. Natalia felt her knees give slightly as her arms easily found a place around Olivia's neck. "Hi" she breathed dreamily.

"Hi." Olivia replied, her mouth near Natalia's ear. "Whatcha making?"

"Breakfast." Natalia said, unwrapping herself from Olivia and returning to the stove just in time to save the pancakes from burning.

Olivia looked around the kitchen expectantly before sitting down at the table. She knew better than to offer help in Natalia's kitchen. "Is Rafe home?"

Natalia frowned as she prepared Olivia's plate with food. "No, he went out early for a run." she turned and walked the plate over to Olivia, whose eyes rolled out of her head at the sight of the meal. "Coffee or juice?" Natalia asked pleasantly, her time in the service industry shining through.

"Coffee's fine." Olivia replied. She watched as Natalia brought over the coffee pot and poured Olivia a mugful. She watched Natalia serve herself some orange juice, grab her plate and sit across from her, a smile on her face. "Thanks for inviting me over." she said, spearing eggs. "I always feel like we bond over food."

Natalia blushed. "Well they say the way to the heart is through the stomach."

"You're gonna kill me."

"What?! How?"

Olivia puffed out her cheeks and widened her eyes. "I'm gonna look like the Stay Puff Marshmallow man. Besides, its not like you need me around for my rent money anymore..."

Natalia made a face. "I need you around for other reasons."

Olivia raised an eyebrow in interest. "Really."

Natalia nodded emphatically. She reached out her left hand and took hold of Olivia's, holding eye contact. "I kinda got used to you." They sat in silence, holding hands casually, somehow feeding themselves with a free hand. "I have a random question."

"Let's hear it."

Casual. Just ask the question casually, like you're asking for directions or something. "Last night on the phone..."

"Mhm."

"Did I hang up?"

Olivia thought for a moment, replaying last night in her mind. She remembered Natalia moving around in bed, mumbling about happiness and falling asleep. She grinned. "You fell asleep."

"I did." Natalia replied with a nod. "I thought I had but I wasn't sure. I woke up with my cell phone under me this morning and I wasn't sure."

"I didn't mind. It was kinda cute."

"What? Me snoring?"

"You don't snore, you kinda do this thing where it sounds like you're humming. Or purring. Maybe it's my phone." Olivia replied sheepishly, hiding her face behind her coffee mug.

"You fell asleep on the phone too?"

"Well, yeah, I didn't want to be rude...."

"Rude? I was the one asleep on the phone!" Natalia giggled, squeezing Olivia's hand.

"And it was very cute..." Olivia said with a shrug.

Olivia finished the meal and cleared both their plates. She chuckled to herself at how easy it was to fall into a routine with Natalia. Natalia stayed at the table, fiening interest in the headlines while stealing glances at Olivia's back. We click. We're not even in the same house and still, we make sense on some strange level. Olivia ran the water and started washing the dishes when she heard the kitchen door open and Rafe burst inside. Olivia turned, plate in hand to greet Rafe, only to get a sharp look from the teenager. Natalia was shaken from her reverie and spied Rafe's dirty look. "Hi honey" she greeted, standing up and attempting to shield Olivia from the daggers her son was obviously firing at her. "How was your run?"

"Fine." he replied, slipping out of his warm up sweatshirt and hanging it on the nearby hook.

"Are you hungry?" Natalia asked, turning the stove back on and preparing another batch of pancakes.

"Yeah." he replied with a shrug, taking the paper and flipping to the back for the jobs section.

Maybe this won't be so bad. Natalia thought as she cooked and Olivia finished the dishes. She saw Olivia towel one dry and bring to Natalia, her fingertips avoiding contact with her own. She took the plate and breathed a silent thank you to Olivia who moved quickly to the hook to take her jacket. "I'm gonna go." she whispered. Okay maybe it IS that bad. She loaded the plate with breakfast and placed it before Rafe whose 'thank you' was mumbled into the newspaper. He looks like his father. She looked up at Olivia who had noiselessly slipped on her jacket and untucked her hair from the collar, a small smile on her face. "Leaving already?" she asked, doing a poor job of hiding her disappointment.

"Yeah." Olivia cast her eyes at Rafe's back. "You've got much better company."

Natalia kissed the top of Rafe's head and walked towards the front of the house, out of his earshot. Olivia followed, quietly. "Take care, Rafe." she said with a tight lipped expression.

"Thanks." Rafe replied with a nod.

Natalia was sitting on the glider waiting on the front porch, their usual spot for heart to heart conversations. She had her hands jammed into the pockets of a black hoodie she wore over her jeans and long sleeve shirt. She hoped summer would hurry up, these spring time cold snaps were driving her nuts. She's upset. I know she is but this is how it is for the meantime. I have the courage I just need the words. And timing. Maybe a break. Okay. I need timing, courage, heart and a lucky break. I need to get the farmhouse caught in a tornado or something...

She didn't hear Olivia approach her and sit down, closer than they usually sat on the bench. "Hey." she said, her voice warm on Natalia's chilled ear.

"Hi." she beamed again, the clouds of doubt widening slightly. "So, are you going to The Beacon?" Casual. Just act casual.

"Where else would I go?"

Natalia's hands fidgeted in their respective pockets as she stared out into the front yard. "I'm sorry if it feels strange." she blurted out, casting her eyes down at the gravel that made up the driveway. "I don't want it to feel so strange, it's just the way it is right now."

"I know. I'm not rushing."

"It's just...well...with Emma it seems easier because like you said, she already knew we belonged together before we did...but Rafe..."

"Natalia. All I'm asking is that we find the right words to say, the right things to do and the right way to make this happen. I know it feels real and it is real but to find out what it means is to really make a statement. I know what you mean to me, I just want to make sure we're on the same level."

Natalia found herself drowning in Olivia's eyes, keeping herself afloat in the words. So she does want to make this real. She leaned closer to Olivia, her hands slipping out of the pockets and pulled Olivia towards her. She wanted to kiss her deeply, to make her feel the way she was feeling at the moment and make the world disappear. She shivered as Olivia met her halfway, their arms wrapping around the other. Just do it already! She's waiting. Natalia's face found the crook of Olivia's neck. She brushed her lips against the exposed skin and marveled at the softness and warmth. She stayed still, feeling Olivia's hand at the small of her back, feeling her pulse racing underneath her lips. She closed her eyes, enjoying the moment before she heard a yell somewhere deep in the house.

"MA!"

She let go suddenly, leaping up and apologizing profusely with her eyes. She pulled open the screen door just as Rafe was opening the front door. "It's Frank." he said, covering the phone with his hand. "I'm gonna meet him up in a bit. He's going apartment hunting."

"Apartment hunting?" Natalia breathed. "Sure, yeah."

"Frank? Yeah. I'll meet you up..." the rest of his conversation was cut off as he re-entered the house, leaving Natalia in the doorway. She looked at Olivia through the screen door.

"He's taking his job seriously." Olivia mused, standing up. She seemed rooted to her spot.

"It means you don't have to go..." Natalia offered.

"Yeah but I have things to do so..."

"I'll call you for dinner...if you're available."

"I'll pencil you in."