A/N- First off, I added journal entries to all the chapters, so you may want to skim through them from the beginning. Most of them are short.

Disclaimer- Gilmore Girls and the characters associated with the show are not mine.

Chapter Twenty-two- Garret

I can't handle it. I can't handle the emptiness. The holes. I have to fill it with something. Anything. Jessie doesn't help. I wish I knew him better, but he's always got a book. The only time he even talks to me is if I take his books. I can't handle the loneliness anymore. But I won't touch the drugs. I won't do it. I won't.

But a beer won't hurt, right? Maybe I'll go down to the bar, see if I can find anyone to buy me a drink. Maybe fill the holes.

The click of the door triggered an instant alertness and he watched as the boy sat in the chair across from him. Blake was glad he'd chosen to use the notebooks as his pillow as he watched the kid's eyes narrow at the sight of them under his head.

"Skipping the rest of the day?" he asked with a forced nonchalance.

"Couldn't concentrate. Came home sick. Why are you here? You could have mailed the notebooks, or given them to Luke," Garrett said, watching the cop's body language.

"You're Garret right? Jess's brother? But you're not Liz's," Blake replied, slowly sitting up. He didn't know anything about this kid, other than what he could see. And what he could see was a bit confusing. The kid was open, relaxed, comfortable looking. Except his grayish-blue eyes. His eyes were too old to be in his head. They looked like his Captain's eyes, or his dad's. Blake felt as if he was being sized up or evaluated.

"No, I'm not Liz's. I'm Alex's, which with what we know now, is a step above being Liz's. Luke and Lorelai adopted me. Well, really, they all adopted me. I made some promises to Jess and Rory at the ceremony which I want to keep. So, why are you here?" Garret asked, his voice young sounding, despite the forceful words. Blake shook his head to clear it and narrowed his eyes. There was quite a bit of info in what Garret said to sort through, and he took the time to let the words sink in. After a minute of silence, while he thought about an Alex vs. a Liz, he decided to treat the kid as if he were older. Blake tapped his fingers on the notebooks.

"Jess needs to go to his mother's funeral. I think he'll regret it if he doesn't."

"If Alex died, I don't think I'd want to go," Garret replied, tilting his head to the side. Blake sighed. He wondered, not for the first time, how kids survived the crap they lived through. In his job, he'd seen too many cases where the kids lived as victims because of their parents choices. It was one of the reasons he fought so hard to get into homicide, and worked his way up to a detective. Regular patrol, with its plethora of domestic abuse cases, had been too hard on his heart. Since Garret had shared regarding his own life, Blake decided to tell some of his story. Feeling it might make a difference if Garret was ever in the same situation.

"My mom abandoned my sister and me when I was about your age. I couldn't forgive her for leaving us behind when she ran off with her new boyfriend. I was nineteen when she died in a car wreck. My sister and I didn't go to her funeral, and I can tell you first hand, standing at the grave two years later wasn't enough. I didn't get the closure I needed," Blake said. "And I think Luke and Lorelai need their family with them, too. Like my dad should have had. I regret that he attended her funeral alone. I should have been there for him."

Garret's raised eyebrow at something behind him, had Blake whipping his head around to see Jess leaning against the wall. How the hell had he snuck up on him? Feeling ambushed, Blake tensed. Jess smirked and tossed his keys into the air, catching them easily as he turned his attention to Garret.

"Sick huh? You're looking pretty, well, healthy, really. Must need to go to the hospital. Want to see Emily?" Jess asked. At Garret's nod, he glanced back at Blake. "And you'll give me the notebooks if I get on a plane tomorrow? I'll think about it," he said before walking back out of the house. Garret paused at the door.

"I'll talk to him, not because of his mom. Because of Luke. If he goes, it will be because of Luke."

"Doesn't matter why if it gets him there. My stomach will quit hurting either way," Blake replied, before laying back to resume his nap. Choosing to ignore the strange Kirk character who perched himself in the chair after Garret left.

A/N- Reviews please! Is Detective Blake growing on anyone? And thank you to all those who consistently review, and for the new reviewers. I appreciate every one of you! I have the whole thing roughed drafted out, so I should be able to get a chapter up a week till finished. At this point there are 27 chapters, but sometimes during editing, I add one or two.