CPOV

A little over one year ago, Ana was celebrating her seventeenth birthday with Shepherd while I was alone, watching from afar. Who knew so much could change in one year?

Here I am, walking arm in arm with my girlfriend down a main drag in Cambridge, taking in the sights, sounds, and nightlife.

Ana is mine, we've fallen in love, she's met my family and they all love her, the beast that is inside me has been tempered...I only hope that it remains dormant. I still have a fear that it will unleash itself and cause Ana pain. I do my best to let go and try to relax when Ana and I fuck or make love but there's always a small part of me that stands watch. I am never allowed to completely relax. That's how fucked up I am. I hate that Ana has seen what the beast is capable of; even if she wasn't hurt, I know that my outburst scared the hell out of her. Fucking Shepherd and his fucked up promise!

"Christian? Where are you? Where did you go?" Ana asks as we walk along the street hand in hand.

"I was just thinking about us and about how far we've come," I say as I kiss her temple.

"We have come far, haven't we, Christian? I remember when you called me Firecracker for the first time and said that I was full of pop. Little did I know that you would eventually make me 'pop' with desire," Ana purrs as she squeezes my butt.

"Yes, and little did I know that I would have created such a sex monster," I say as I laugh and squeeze her ass in return.

"We were amazing this weekend, Christian. Our 8-boat came in first place, again! We're unstoppable! This is going to be the best rowing season ever and it's going to be the best school year ever as well!" Ana exclaims as we continue our walk down the street.

Ana likes to take walks after we enjoy our evening meal; she likes getting to know different parts of the city, becoming better acquainted with her surroundings.

"What makes you say that this year will be the best in both rowing and school?"

"Oh Christian, do you really need to ask?"

I look at her and nod.

"It's because of you, silly! You make everything better."

I breathe a huge sigh of relief, it's exactly what I wanted to hear, it's what I needed to hear. Ana completes me, she makes me whole and I get so mad at myself when I think about that night...that night I asked about Noah. I could have lost her to the fucked up beast inside of me.

"Ana, I love you so much baby. Promise you won't ever leave me, I'd be lost without you."

APOV

Promise, he says; that word has been nothing but trouble for us.

It's times like these, times when I hear the desperation in his voice and the pain that I know he feels, that take me back to that night, right after the Christmas holiday...

"So tell me, what did you and Noah talk about? You never got around to sharing what you discussed that night."

"It was nothing really, we were just...catching up on things. School, rowing, you know...that kind of stuff."

"No, I don't know. That's why I'm asking. Tell me, Ana, you're holding back on me. What is it?"

"Noah's...concerned, that's all."

"Concerned? Concerned about what?"

"About me. You too, actually."

"He doesn't have to concern himself with me. What's his problem?"

"He doesn't have a problem, he just wants to make sure that we don't...you know, get hurt."

"Well what the fuck does that mean?!" Christian shouted as he jumped off the sofa, and started pacing the floor.

"He made me promise that I wouldn't let you...hurt me," I whispered. "Christian, please sit down, talk to me. Why are you so upset?"

"I'm upset because that fucker thinks I'm going to hurt you. Have I ever hurt you, Ana? Have I ever laid a hand on you or hurt you in any way?!"

I sat on the sofa stunned, not knowing what to say. Noah never meant that Christian would physically hurt me. It made me wonder what was going on his mind.

"That's not what he meant, Christian, not all. Please sit down, talk to me."

"I don't fucking want to talk, dammit!"

And with those words, Christian left our apartment. He came back later, his clothes drenched in sweat. He'd been for his usual run, the run that he usually takes in the middle of the night; he needed blow off some steam. We made up that night and never spoke of it again.

That was the first and only time that Christian's frightened me. He'd shocked me once before by his outburst with Professor Hare but this was different...this anger was out of control.

"Answer me, Ana, do you promise? Promise not to leave me."

"Yes, Christian. You have my word."

I hate using the word promise. It has such an ugly connotation since that night.

"Your word? This isn't a business deal, Ana. I want you to promise. Promise me, please."

"How about if I give you my solemn vow. Will that work?"

"Fine," Christian says as he pouts.

"You're even more adorable when you pout, ya know," I say, trying to lighten the mood.

"Really?" Christian asks as he gives me his best duck face.

I cannot help but laugh at his silliness.

"Christian, I do love you so," I say as I stop him from walking and give him a soft kiss on his cheek. He turns his head slightly and points to his other cheek. I kiss it, then he points to his nose. I kiss it, then to his lips and I kiss them.

We once again find ourselves lost in our kiss when someone yells out, "Hey, get a room!"

Christian and I back up and begin to laugh. I look around and suddenly realize I have no clue where we are; we just kept walking. It looks like we're in a dicey part of town. It has a sort of "red light district" feel to it; the people walking the streets are no longer your "average" looking people.

These people look very different.

"Uh...Christian, where are we?"

"No clue, I lost track four blocks back. These streets are starting to look a little shady."

"Christian, we need to get out of here," I say as we hear music playing loudly from the many night clubs that surround us.

People are dressed, if you want to call it dressed, in scantily clad pieces of material, covering only the parts of the body that if exposed, might cause one to be arrested.

"Ana, let's have a look," Christian says as he grabs my hand and drags me into one of the clubs.

A man wearing some sort of leather underwear says, "Come on in, kids, the show's just started."

I feel knots in my stomach; we're entering into the rabbit's hole and I fear what I might see.

The music gets louder and we see a crowd of people trying to work their way closer to a stage up ahead. That's when I see her and then I see him.

The man is wearing a black mask, no shirt and black leather pants. The woman is in skimpy lingerie and she's wearing heavy make-up. She's shackled to a bed while the masked man whips her. It looks horrifying, he's torturing her and yet, I can't tear my eyes away.

He hits her a few more times and she appears to be moaning; it's difficult to tell with the music blaring. I look to Christian and he seems to be transfixed by the scene.

The man removes her shackles and leads her to a huge cross; he cuffs her arms and legs to the cross and gets another whipping implement. I cannot look any more, I want to get out of here.

"Christian," I say as I tug on his hand. He doesn't move.

"Christian." Still nothing.

I look at the scene in front of me - the man rips off her panties. I can't stay here any longer. I tear my hand away from Christian and run!

"Ana! Ana!" I hear him call me from off in the distance. He's too late, he should have acknowledged me when I called him.

I feel the cool air hit me as I try to catch my breath. I will not cry, I will not cry. Why do I even feel like crying? This doesn't make any sense, I think to myself as I walk quickly up the street, not having a clue as to where I'm headed. I caress the beautiful rose shaped locket that Christian gave me for Christmas. I always grasp it when I find myself feeling sad or lonely; it's my connection to Christian, reminding me how much I am loved. This beautiful locket makes me feel safe, cherished, and it gives me strength. It's my talisman against the evil in the world.

"Ana, wait!" Christian shouts as he finally catches up to me. "What's wrong, Ana?"

I stop walking and before I can stop myself, I unleash on him.

"What's wrong!? What the hell do you think is wrong?! Did you see what was happening in there? That woman was being beaten!"

"It didn't look to me like she was complaining, Ana."

"Really? How can you say that Christian?! I...I don't understand."

"Ana, it looked to me like two consenting adults enjoying a little kink."

"Kink?! Is that what you think that was?! Kink?!" What's wrong with him? What's he thinking?!

I feel so confused and for the second time, I find myself afraid of Christian. Does he like this? Does this interest him?

"Ana, I don't want to argue with you. I'm sorry baby. I just thought that it looked...interesting," he says quietly, looking deep into my eyes as he tries to read my thoughts. I do my best to remain impassive. I need to know what he's thinking.

"Interesting? Interesting how? Are you so interested that you'd like to do that me? Is that what you mean by interested?"

Now it's Christian's turn to become impassive. The mask is on. I don't know what he's thinking. He's become better at hiding his thoughts. It's frustrating when I don't know what's going on in that head of his, I only know that he still has difficulty believing that I love him, believing that he's worthy of love.

"Ana, I'm sorry. Let's drop it and get out of here. I don't want to fight, baby. I love you," he whispers as he draws me near. He puts his arm around my waist and we hug one another tight. I do love him, so very much.

"I don't want to fight either, Christian. Let's go home," I say as we leave this odd place.

"Feeling better, Ana?" Christian asks as I take next him on the sofa. Now that we're back at our place, I've calmed down a bit.

"Much better thank you, it's always nice to come home, undress, and relax," I say as I caress his soft copper-colored locks.

Christian smiles and says, "You're not undressed baby."

"I mean, out of street clothes. It's nice to be in comfy shorts and a tank-top. Nothing binding, I can breathe."

"Binding, huh? You wouldn't like me to bind you?" Christian asks as he slowly pushes down on the sofa showering me with soft kisses along my neck.

"Mmmhmmm...Christian, that feels so good," I moan as I feel myself getting moist, ready for him to take me. Then I remember what I'm wearing and I say, "No, stop. Take me to our bedroom."

"Well, well, well, Firecracker. It's nice to hear you saying what you want," Christian says as he lifts me off the sofa, carrying me to our bedroom.

"You've taught me well, Christian," I tell him with a big grin.

"I believe I have, baby. What shall I do next?" he asks as I pull off my tank top, leaving me in my lacy red bra.

"I want you to pull down my shorts and then follow my instructions," I say as I smile, knowing full well what I have in store for myself. As much as I love him going...down there, I still feel funny about telling him to kiss me there. I thought this would make it easier for me.

Christian pulls my shorts down and smiles as he sees my red panties that have the words 'kiss me' embellished in sequins.

"Follow your instructions, huh?"

"Yes, please," I say as I begin to squirm, knowing what he can do to me with his magic lips and tongue.

***A couple months later***

I wake up to flip my pillow over to the cool side and I notice that Christian isn't in bed. He's gone out for a run in the middle of the night again. He's been doing this every night when he's had trouble sleeping. His nightmares that once haunted him are gone but he still suffers from insomnia. I sometimes wake up to get a glass of water and he'll arrive, drenched in sweat. He's still running, running from the past, running from the pain, rather than facing his demons head on. It's something that's been bothering me since we've been together but there's no talking to him. He feels this is his issue and he can deal with it on his own. I sigh and decide to get up and get a glass of water.

It's light outside as I see the sun rising. My mind is having trouble trying catch up with what my heart already knows. My soul is shattering, I can't breathe, I feel numb and my brain cannot put it together. I start to cry as I feel the room is empty, it's a large empty room void of feelings. I look around, feeling dizzy, trying to find it. It has to be somewhere! I need something! An explanation for why my life has just been turned upside down! I run towards to the kitchen in a blurred haze, trying to wipe my tears. I check the counter, nothing! The table, nothing! The bathroom, nothing! I run towards our bedroom and there it is...on my nightstand.

I open the envelope as the tears continue to fall...

NPOV

Someone is pounding on my door. The pounding becomes harder, more desperate. Who the hell can it be? "I'm coming! Keep your shirt on dammit!" I shout as I open the door.

What I see before me shocks me to my core; it's Ana. She looks like a frightened little waif; she's trembling, her eyes are red, and it takes me a moment to get over the shock of seeing her. My mind cannot accept the fact that she's here, standing before me. So tiny, so scared, so broken. She doesn't speak, she only stands there, not looking at me; she's checked out.

"Ana? Oh, Stay!" I say as I pull her into my arms.

Her cries cut me, they cut into my soul; her pain, her tears are like razors slicing into my heart.

She has something in her hand; I take it from her knowing full well the reason why she stands before me. It was Stroke. He did this to her! I read the crumpled paper.

I'm sorry Ana, I never meant to hurt you. Love another, I am a monster.

That mother fucker! I'm going to fucking kill him! He's going to pay for what he's done to Stay!

"Ana, please say something," I say as I carry her inside my apartment. I sit her on my sofa while she clutches her chest.

APOV

How did I end up here, at Noah's place? I'm so confused. The last thing I remember was reading Christian's letter. I must have driven for the past two hours on autopilot.

"Ana, answer me! What the fuck did he do to you? Did he hit you? Oh God, Ana, please don't tell me...he didn't rape you did he?"

Noah's words shock me back to the present.

"No! Christian didn't hit me, he didn't rape me! What's wrong with you Noah? How can you say that?!" I shout, angry at myself for defending the man who has shattered my soul and ripped out my heart.

"Well, what did he do? I can't help you if I don't know what he's done!" Noah shouts back.

"He...he broke his promise Noah."

"What promise?" Noah asks.

"He promised not to hurt me. Remember? You made me make him promise not to hurt me! He kept telling me, begging me not to leave him, he said he couldn't bear to live without me," I say as I rock back and forth feeling myself checking out once more, not wanting to face my pain.

"I've been such a fool. I thought he loved me and...he's the one that left me!" I say as I grab my rose shaped locket.

"That motherfucker! I'm going to kill him!" I hear Noah shout as I fade away, grasping my locket as if it's a lifeline to my strength and sanity. Christian may have broken up with me but he's left me with something that I will cherish until the day I die.

END OF BOOK II

A/N

Thank you to my Beautiful Beta Miss Ordlas for making my story pretty.

I'm going to take a little break now but I will be back before you know it. Since this is the end of BOOK II, I will have time to respond to every review from this chapter so please, if you have any questions, ask away!

Thanks so much for your support and please review.

Oh, one more thing, I may respond to reviews via an update. It depends, I just thought I'd let you know in advance in case you see an update for this story within a week or two.

Rosie :D