Author's Note: Look, everyone, another chapter where the whole thing's a lie laced with painful truths. And more angst, because we just don't have enough of that! /sarcasm
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Theme Eight: I'm glad we met.
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I'm glad I met you, Wayne Legitt.
It's been an education, to say the least. If I had never met you, I would never have known just how strong I am. I don't need anyone anymore, and I never will. I don't need friends, I don't need boyfriends, I don't even need my family as much as I used to. I'm not close to anyone and I don't want to be. I'm tougher than that now. I'm an island, a rock, steel. I'm doing better than I ever have before.
I'm not running around like I used to. No more useless bird watching seminars, no more running to the library every three seconds, no more playing sports with every ball and boy I meet. You'd be proud of me, Wayne. I've grown up so much. I don't lie like you do, I don't hurt people at all. Know why? Because no one's close enough to me for me to hurt them. It's called caring, maybe you should try it sometime. I won't ever make the mistakes you made, the mistakes I made. I've moved forward, and I'm stronger than I ever have been.
I'm spending a lot of time alone now, working on schoolwork. I'm the shining star of my entire school and I can prove it if you don't believe me. I'm rising like a star. You should be proud, since you're the one who made me like this. You showed me that people aren't to be trusted and I shouldn't let myself be close to them. You proved to me that I'm better off all alone, that everyone is. I learned a lot from you. That's why my life's as good as it is right now. I used to have all these dreams and hopes and ideas, that everyone was good hearted and lies were rare. Well, you showed me, huh?
But it was good for me. No, it really was. It was a good thing that you took me down a notch, so I could learn to stay on the safe side. I needed to learn that I was being silly and childish. Just think, I might've gone on my entire life with the idea that love was real and you loved me back. I might've trusted the wrong person or too many people, but now I'm perfectly safe. You must be so proud of what you've done to this sweet Southern girl from the middle of nowhere, huh, city boy? Is this what life's like there? Good. I'm glad you taught me that before I ran off to the city to go be a doctor like I wanted to be.
You saved me. Now I know better. I won't be running around the world saving lives. I won't be a cop like I used to consider being. I won't be the most popular girl in school, or on the sports teams, or even people's friend, because people our age aren't good people. Isn't that what you believe, that everyone around us was so corrupt there was no point in trying? That's why you let me go on alone without telling me until I was hurt. That's why you broke your promise to me. And you were right, and now I know better. I'm smarter than I ever was before.
I'm also colder than I ever was before. I'm so alone. I'm so lost. I feel frozen even in summer and in pain even when I'm sitting down. I'm unable to trust in my own ability to do things, let alone anyone else. You hurt me, for my own good. Congratulations. You've saved me from a lifetime of stupidity and made me forget how to let people in.
"I'm glad we met, Wayne."