'The secret to success is training your mind to use pain and pleasure instead of letting pain and pleasure use you. If you can accomplish that, than you control life. If not, then life controls you.'

Thank you Gail!

APOV

"Ana, let's go! Come on. You've got to stop feeling sorry for yourself. That jerk is gone and you've moped around long enough."

"Holly, please, I'm not up to it."

"You have to go with me, please. I can't go to this book signing alone. I have to meet this woman. Her book is amazing. You're going to buy a copy as well, it's certainly fitting for what you're going through at the moment."

"Who is this person anyway?"

"Ana? Have you been hiding under a rock or something?! It's the author of the book, 'Fifty Ways To Mend A Broken Heart' by CC Susie. Her book is a best seller."

"Fifty ways to mend a broken heart, huh? Maybe this is a sign. Ok, I'll go. Give me fifteen minutes to get dressed."

"Yes!"

"Oh my gosh, we're almost there. I hope I don't make a fool of myself."

"Relax, Holly, you'll be fine."

"Hello, to whom do I make the book out?"

...

"Holly, answer her," I said as I nudged Holly's side.

"Oh yes, Holly please."

"There you go, Holly, enjoy."

"I already have. Your book is wonderful, Miss Susie. I was wondering if you had any advice for my friend here."

"Oh gosh, Holly, really? This is so embarrassing. Please ignore my friend. We don't want to take any more of your time, Miss Susie."

"Not at all, how may I help?"

"Tell her, Ana."

"It's nothing really."

"Nothing always ends up to be something, sweetie, go on. I'm curious now, I'd like to help. After all, that's why I wrote my book, Fifty Ways To Mend A Broken Heart. Try me."

"Well, my heart has been broken and I don't know what to do."

"I see. You look much too young to have had your heart broken, dear."

"More like shattered into a million pieces."

"Oh goodness, I'm so sorry. I'll give you a quick fix as the line is getting longer and my fans are getting restless. Focus on your goals, focus on your future, not on love but on what you want to do with your life. Make a mark in whatever you want to do, business, art, music, whatever it is, just go for it! Don't stop, don't give up, and don't let anyone tell you that you can't do it because you can. Focus the pain you feel from your broken heart and channel that painful energy into something positive."

What CC Susie said that fateful day struck a chord in me. I took her words to heart and channeled my energy into one of my dreams. Using my inheritance money, I acquired a small publishing outfit in Seattle. The basics were there at a good price and they just needed someone with enough drive to make it grow, so I left Harvard.

"Miss Steele, did you hear me?"

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

"The reports are in and I can already tell you, they have improved significantly since you decided to make some changes in personnel."

"Excellent! Thanks, Ros. You know I couldn't have done this without you."

"You're welcome, Miss Steele. Is there anything else I can do for you?" Ros asks as she stands to make her leave.

"I'm fine, Ros. Why don't you and the rest of the staff call it a day?" I say as I breathe a sigh of relief, knowing my company is safe.

"Are you sure, Miss Steele? The day isn't half over and if you don't mind my saying, you seemed a bit preoccupied this week."

Damn! Have I been that obvious? It's been two years to the day that Christian's left me and I haven't looked back since meeting with Miss CC Susie. Meeting her and reading her book saved me. Of course, Noah saved me, too. I smile as I think of how he took care of me and loved me and not once did he ever say, "I told you so." I'm grateful for that.

"I've just got a lot on my mind but you know that, Ros. Now please, go and tell the staff to enjoy their weekend. I'll see you Monday."

Ros smiles and I know that she's thrilled to get an early start on her weekend. We've been working non-stop to save my company. She deserves the time off.

"Matter of fact, Ros, take next week off as well."

"Miss Steele, I couldn't," she says, trying to contain her glee.

"You can and you will. Now go on, get out of here," I say as I stand to give her a hug.

She freezes for a moment and then hugs me back.

"Thanks, Miss Steele."

"Ros, it's Ana. No more Miss Steele baloney. Now go."

"Thanks, Ana!" Ros says as she practically skips out the door. Who knew Ros could be so giddy?

I turn my chair and look out the window and again get lost in my thoughts, thoughts of him.

"We won, Christian!" I shouted as I jumped on the bed next to him.

"That we did, Firecracker," he said as he wrapped his arms around me.

"We're unstoppable! Our 8-boat is the best!"

"That's only because I have the best coxswain ever!" Christian said as he kissed me.

"I have the best person as my stroke who also happens to be the best boyfriend ever!" I exclaimed as I kissed him playfully.

Christian grabbed me suddenly, bent his knees, and placed me on his feet as he lifted me off of the bed. He was laughing as he said, "Say it, Ana, say it."

"Oh brother, not again," I said as I placed my hands on his shoulders.

"Fine," Christian said as he stretched his arms out. "I'll say it. I'm king of the world!" And with those words we quickly stripped down and made love all afternoon long.

I woke up to Christian stroking my back.

"Ana, what do you want to do?"

"I don't know, maybe get something to eat. I'm getting hungry."

"No, I mean in the future. Careerwise, what do you want to do?"

"I don't know, I haven't given it much thought. I mean, isn't that what college is for? To figure out what you want to do? I'm only eighteen years old. I'm not sure that I could do anything, I mean, I don't know. The world is such a big place and I'm not sure that I can make my mark. I have an idea of what I want to do but I'm not sure I can."

Christian held me tight but pulled away to look at my face, "Ana, you can do anything that you set your mind to. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, do you hear me? Now tell me, what's your idea?"

"Well, you know I like books, maybe publishing? I don't know."

"You do know, Ana, and you can do it. I'll help you. I'm going to be successful and with you at my side, I can do anything and so can you."

CPOV

"I love you Christian, you know that don't you?"

"Ana, I love you so much."

"You didn't answer my question, Christian. You know that I love you, don't you?"

"I hear your words, Ana, and I know that you love me. Sometimes I wish it was enough."

"Enough? What do you mean?"

"It's nothing baby, don't mind me. I'm just lost in you at the moment."

"I'm lost in you, too."

"This is my favorite part of the day."

"What? Us? Here in bed snuggling together naked after making love?"

"Well, yes but my favorite part of the day is anytime that you and I are together. I feel whole, I feel complete when I'm with you."

"Sir, did you hear me?"

My hands are covering my face; I remove them and return to the present time. Has it been two years since I left my Ana, my Firecracker?

So much has happened since that horrible night. I don't want to think about that shit. I've changed and I've worked non-stop to become one of the youngest, most successful, and wealthiest businessmen in the country. Not that this shit means anything to me, not without my Ana.

I look at Fred and ask him to repeat what he previously said.

"Sir, the businesses that are primed for takeover and ready for your final approval are compiled on this spreadsheet."

I open it quickly, scanning for one business name in particular. I don't see it; it's no longer on the spreadsheet.

"There's one missing, Fred."

"Yes, Sir, apparently POP or rather, Power One Publishing, was able to recoup its losses. There was a huge shakeup with the staff and this business is no longer interested in merging with any company."

POP. I love that my Ana named her company Power One Publishing. Could she have given it the name of POP because of me? I did christen her with the name of Firecracker and I always did say that she was full of 'pop.' Maybe there's hope for us after all? POP may not be merging with GEH anytime soon; however that merger means nothing to me at the moment.

"Sir, did you hear me? Power One Publishing is no longer interested in a merger."

"Is that right?" I ask as I feign indifference while looking over the spreadsheets.

"Yes, Sir, and that comes straight from the CEO herself, a Miss Ana Steele. She's a very charismatic person, charming, friendly, sharp as a whip and er...she's quite the looker as well."

That fucker! Who told him to look!

My head snaps up in rage and if looks could kill, my right hand man would be dead where he stands.

"Er, sorry, Mr. Grey. I was out of line."

"Fucking right you were out of line, don't cross it again."

I would prefer to merge with the CEO of Power One Publishing. I wonder how she'll feel once we see each other again?

How the hell do you think she'll feel you moron?! You left her high and dry!

I dismiss Fred and remain standing over my desk staring at the spreadsheet. How the hell did Ana turn her business around so quickly? I'm happy that things worked out for her, but it would have been the perfect opportunity for us to reunite via a business merger.

I have no excuse to see her now. What's my next move? Everything I do, I do with certainty. My moves are always thought out and calculated but when it comes to Ana, I'm lost. As always, she holds my heart in her hands.

I've removed my tie and unbuttoned my shirt, feeling as if my clothes are binding me. I fucked up. How the hell am I going to win her back? I sit back in my chair and put my hands over my face again, thinking about happier times with Ana.

"You were wonderful today, Christian," Ana said as we walked hand in hand towards the boat house.

"We were wonderful today, Ana. It was because of you that I'm a better rower, you know that don't you? You make me a better rower. You make me a better person," I said, knowing full well that it was true. I may have had some ugliness inside of me, but only Ana could keep the beast at bay.

"Christian, stop that. I've told you over and over again. You are a good person," she said as she stopped and stepped in front of me.

Before I knew what happened she launched herself and jumped on me. She grabbed my neck and wrapped her legs around me and said, "Say it, Christian." She kissed me. "Say you're a good person, because it's true."

"Fine, I'm a good person. Happy now?" I asked as I continued to hold and kiss her once more.

"I'm always happy, so long as we're together."

I must have Ana; I need her back in my life.

"Taylor!" I shout as he runs into the room and snaps to attention.

"Sir?"

"Tell Fred I'm leaving for the day."

"Yes Sir, where to?"

"Power One Publishing."

My heart races as I enter the building. It's eerily quiet. Where the hell is everyone? I turn to Taylor and say, "This must be Miss Steele's office, wait out here."

Taylor nods, I take a deep breath and slowly open the door.

God help me.

A/N

I thought I should warn you, the next few updates (the way I have them outlined) are set up to end with mini-cliff hangers. I appreciate your patience as I attempt to get my writing mojo back.

Thanks to my girl, the lovely Gail Sombati for finding a wonderful and fitting quote (in a LIFETIME Movie) and for sharing the quote on FB. Thanks again Gail! You're the best! I really do appreciate you and all my friends on FB!

Speaking of FB, do check out my latest visual snippets!

Please review and feel free to ask questions, I'll be happy to answer them...if I can. I don't want to give away anything that is too important to reveal within the storyline.

SusieCC, I do hope you enjoyed your cameo in my story, portraying you as an EL James type of character.

As always, a HUGE thanks to my beautiful BETA! This chapter was a bitch to write! Had it not been for Ordlas, I'm not sure I could have seen this through! You are the best! Thank you J!

Hugs and Slap Kisses,

Rosie :D