A/N

Hi everyone, I'm trying something a little new. You were warned (back in chapter 32) that these next few chapters would be mini-cliffhangers. Having said/written that, I want you to know that this chapter and probably the next two (maybe three) chapters that follow will all occur in the same day. We are starting in the evening and we will flashback throughout the day with the upcoming chapters. I apologize in advance if you feel as though I'm holding your hand, this explanation is more for me in that I want to be sure that you are understanding the timeline since this is my first attempt at trying this sort of thing.

APOV

It's been two months since I told Christian that I would call him. The glass of wine that I had before I showered and dressed did nothing to calm my nerves. My mind is stronger than the wine that is seeping through my system. It was a rather large glass I drank, which is not my usual style before dinner. Fortunately or unfortunately, my mind knows what I have planned and it will not allow my body or brain to relax.

I suppose this is a good thing because I want to be aware of every single word that I use and every single gesture that I make. I do not want to misspeak or mislead anyone tonight. I have two very important meetings that will affect me for the rest of my life.

God help me.

I make my way downstairs and I see Luke waiting for me, "Ana, you look stunning."

The last thing I want to do for either meeting is wear anything provocative, so I deliberately picked something understated, opting for a simple little black dress and black heels. I've tied my hair back in a low ponytail and kept jewelry to a minimum, just small pearl earrings and my watch.

I smile and say, "Thanks, Luke."

"Shall we go, my lady?" Luke asks as he bows and extends his arm.

I can't help but giggle. Luke knows me so well and he's trying to help me relax. "Yes, Luke, just give me a moment to speak with the nanny," I say as I make my way towards the family room.

Kate's there, holding my baby girl and reading her a teether book.

"Kate, I'm going to be out late tonight so please put the baby to bed at her usual time. I know I sometimes ask you to keep her up so I can tuck her in, but not tonight."

"Of course, Miss Steele," Kate says as she smiles at me.

I give her a pointed look, and she immediately corrects herself. "Erm, I'm sorry. Of course, Ana and might I say, you look beautiful."

I smile at her and say, "Thanks, Kate."

I get down on my knees and say, "You be a good girl for Kate, little one. Mommy will be home late tonight. We'll play all day tomorrow, just you and me."

I give my little girl a kiss and make my leave. I smile because I know she's in good hands. Kate is a wonderful nanny and she's been a godsend. I don't use her very much on the weekends and evenings because I want to be there for my baby as much as I can. It's difficult balancing family and work but having a good nanny puts my mind at ease.

I have plans for dinner this evening so I make my way to the car and Luke opens the door for me. . My day of revelations continues...

"Ana, we're here," Luke says as he opens my car door.

This is it. I can't put this off any longer, it's not fair to leave him twisting in the wind. This is dinner, nothing more. I have to make a clean a break, I can do this. I can't prolong this...whatever this is or whatever this could have been, it's not meant to be. I'm an adult and I'll face him and handle this like an adult. Unlike some people who can't handle the pressure of ending things, I will show the true content of my character by "manning up" and facing him, by telling him that we cannot be together. We never had a chance and it's not fair to lead him on or to let him believe otherwise.

I walk into the restaurant and I see him sitting at the bar. He's looking at his watch; he's nervous , I can tell. I'm ten minutes early and I have him anxious. I take a deep breath and walk towards him with determination. I can do this, I repeat silently in my head, over and over again. I can do this.

He looks up and smiles at me. "Ana, you look lovely. Thanks for meeting me," he says as he leads the way to our dinner table.

"Thank you and you're welcome," I say, smiling at him.

"Shall we order some drinks before we order our meal?" he asks as he pulls out my chair, always the gentleman.

"I'm not really in a drinking mood, water is fine and besides we really need to talk and if I don't get this out now, I'm not sure that I'll be able to say it later."

"You're scaring me, Ana. You're making this sound like it's over before we've even had a chance to get started, I mean really started," he states as he takes my hand in his.

I sigh as I feel no comfort in his touch; how can that be? Our relationship didn't really have a chance.

"Ana, do I have reason for concern?" he asks as he strokes my hand.

"I'm sorry. Please forgive me...I...I can't do this. I need to end it. It's not fair to you or to me or to...anyone really."

"What do you mean, Ana? You know how I feel about you. I've made my feelings known and I want us to be together. You know I love you, Ana. Please, don't do this. You need to give me a chance, more time. We can make this work."

Suddenly, out of nowhere, I feel it. I gasp as my body reacts to his presence - the familiar tug, that pulling sensation, the heat that radiates throughout my entire body. I need to get out of here and fast. This was a huge mistake and things are going to get much more complicated if I don't make a hasty retreat.

So many things can run through your mind in a millisecond and my thoughts always go to the most extreme and worst outcomes. I'm usually spot on with what will transpire. I did not plan for this to happen. I'm shattered as I fear my actions will make for a most ugly and unprepared-for public scene.

"I'm so sorry, I can't do this. I can't. I...I don't love you and I can't be with someone I don't love. I know what love is and I don't have that with you. Please forgive me. I...I need to go," I say as I stand to make my leave.

"Ana, wait!" he says as he stands and grabs my arm.

"Please let me go, you don't want to do this. Not here, not now. We're not meant to be, I'm not in love with you. Please," I plead knowing full well what's going to happen.

"Ana, what can I do to make you change your mind?" he asks.

"Nothing, you can't do anything. He's here and I need to leave. Please, let me go," I say once again as I feel his grip tightening around my arm.

"You heard the lady. Let. Her. Go." I turn and see Christian. He's livid, his hands making fists, he's got a vein popping out of his neck that looks like it's about to burst.

"Excuse me? This is a private conversation," he says as he slowly releases me.

"Not anymore," Christian says as he stands next to me, putting a possessive arm on my shoulder.

"Who the fuck are you?" he asks.

"Grey, Christian Grey. Who the fuck are you?"

"Hyde, Jack Hyde. I'm Ana's boyfriend."

"Boyfriend?!" Christian exclaims.

Oh no, this needs to stop. Things are going to escalate. I need to shut this down fast. So much for my plans tonight.

"Christian, what are you doing here? I told you we'd meet later tonight," I say as I try to talk him down.

"I know, Ana, but I called Grace and I know that you went to speak to her and I..."

Oh no, he spoke to Grace.

"You spoke to Grace? What did she say?" I demand.

"Nothing really. She doesn't even know that I know you visited her. What's going on, Ana?"

Now I'm really confused.

"I don't understand. If she didn't tell you, how did you know I was there?" I ask.

"I...I had you followed," he says matter-of-factly.

"Followed?" I exclaim. "Christian, what's wrong with you?!"

"I'm sorry, Ana, I got tired of waiting for you to call me. It's been two months, for Christ's sake! I wanted to know what was going on." He looks towards Jack and scowls at him while he says, "Obviously a hell of a lot more than I thought."

"Excuse me for interrupting this reunion, Grey, but Ana is on a date with me," Jack says as he takes my hand and tugs me gently towards him.

"No, she's not Hyde. She was leaving you when you manhandled her; correct me if I'm wrong," Christian says as he now looks towards me, "Ana, didn't you tell Hyde to let you go?"

I look at Christian and manage a small nod, "Please, both of you. Let's not do this here."

"Fine, Ana, where do you want to do this? I deserve an explanation," Jack says. I look to Jack then to Christian, they both have the same stance, like they're preparing to square off for a boxing match.

"Can we please go outside? We're making a scene. Everyone is watching us," I say as I grab my bag and quickly leave the restaurant.

I have to make this short and to the point. I look to Christian and whisper, "Please, give us a moment."

"No! Ana I..."

I quickly stop him. "Please, Christian, I'm going to end it with him. Give the man some dignity," I plead.

Christian arches his brow and cocks his head. He's over thinking things, hanging at the catch. Some things never change...

"Christian, please," I plead with him once more, "Look around you! I'm ending it with him in the middle of a parking lot for goodness sakes!"

"Fine, Ana, but I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here," he says as he watches me walk towards Jack.

CPOV

I can hear Ana's words to Jack as they slowly walk further away from me, "This is not how I wanted to end things with you," she says as she looks at that fucker Hyde.

A part of me is beyond ecstatic that she's ending things with that fucker but another part of me, the selfish fucked up part, is angry. I'm angry at the fact that she moved on. Of course I know that would be the obvious thing to do, I mean I am the fucked up bastard that left her. She had and still has every right to move on without me. I was a fool to think in the back of my mind that she would wait for me. For fuck's sakes I broke up with her via a fucking piece of paper; I'm the one that told her to move on!

I'm sorry Ana, I never meant to hurt you. Love another, I am a monster.

Those words on that piece of paper were the hardest lines that I've ever had to write.

I'm sorry Ana, I never meant to hurt you. Love another, I am a monster.

Those words play over and over again in my mind.

I know it's what I needed, or so I thought at the time. That's why I went back to that club, only I couldn't go back until after I ended things with Ana. It wouldn't be fair to her. I couldn't lie to her which is exactly why I ended it. All those nights I went out for a run, I was so tempted to go back to that club but I quelled the beast within me and my curiosity until I could contain it no more. I wrote those lines on that piece of paper so Ana would never return.

I went back to that club and explained what I wanted, what I needed. The owner in charge of the club was an educated woman who would not let me sub in her club. She looked at me, saw through me and saw my pain. She suggested that I see a good therapist to work out my demons and deal with whatever guilt was haunting me. If after therapy, I was still interested in BDSM, she said she would gladly and slowly introduce me to the scene. Looking back, I wish I had taken her advice.

Not being accustomed to hearing the word 'no' from anyone other than my parents, I did some research and found another BDSM place that would take anyone for the right price. That was my biggest mistake. No, actually my biggest mistake was leaving Ana and not being honest with her in the first place. I didn't think she would understand my need to do this, to be punished, to deal with the beast that dwelled inside of me, slowly making appearances on the surface, fearing that the beast would appear while I was with Ana, which would be worse. Just imagining if the beast appeared while Ana and I were being intimate is a thought that sickens me. I couldn't ever hurt Ana and if the beast did, I would never be able to forgive or live with myself.

I'm called back to present when I hear Ana's heels clicking as she walking towards me. She looks upset. Fuck! She's crying.

"Ana, are you alright?" I ask as she runs into my arms.

"Please, Christian, let's go. I can't do this."

What the fuck did he do? Did that fucker hurt her?

"Ana, wait. What happened? Did that fucker hit you?" I ask as I feel my temper going thermonuclear. I'll rip him apart with my bare hands. I could sure use that beast right about now.

"No, he didn't hit me. He's just angry because I ended it with him. Please, let's go," she says as she walks towards her car. That fucker Sawyer is waiting there for her.

"Ana, are you sure, baby?" I ask feeling as though she's holding out on me. There's something else going on, what is she hiding?

"Christian, I'm going home. Please, just please come meet me at my place. I can't stay here anymore and I have so much more that I have to say to you. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I had a plan and it's all gone to..." She looks at me with those beautiful eyes, they're so sad and I hate myself knowing that I've been the cause of her pain.

"Of course, Ana, I'll be right behind you. Go on," I say as I shut her door.

As I make my way to my car, I see Taylor and tell him, "We're going to Ana's place."

"Oh you are, are you?" I turn and see Jack; the fucker has tears in his eyes.

He's really upset about Ana leaving him. I almost feel sorry for the bastard, almost...but I know that her ending things with him means that I have a better chance of making things right with her.

"Yes, as a matter of fact I am," I say as I try to remain diplomatic.

I hope he didn't fuck her. I wipe that thought from my mind and as I'm about step into my car, Hyde shouts out, "Yeah, well, good luck with that. I never wanted to raise that brat of hers anyway!"

His words freeze me in my tracks.

I look at him and he smiles when he comes to the realization that this is news to me. I need to work on my poker face.

"Oh? Well, well, well...apparently this is news to you, eh Grey? Didn't know she had a little brat, did you? It's not news to me! I guess you're not that important to her if she wasn't willing to let you in on that part of her life. I almost feel sorry for you...almost. Good luck with her and that little brat of hers and good riddance!"

I checked out, not hearing his parting shot. All I can think is...holy fuck! Ana has a baby!

What are thinking? Please review and let me know.

Rosie :D