CHAPTER 19

REGRET

Later the next day, Espio decided to go see Shadow at his house. He figured he would go see him without him ever expecting it. He thought if he told Shadow ahead of time that he was coming over, he had the feeling that Shadow would possibly try to make up some kind of excuse or perhaps lie on why he had cheated on Rouge.

When he had got to Shadow's house, he walked up to the door and knocked a few times. He waited until the door finally opened within moments later. A disgusted look had appeared on his face as he studied the black male hedgehog who stood at the doorway giving him a confused look while he held a half empty beer bottle in his hand. Just from looking at the beer bottle and his dazed expression, it was no doubt that he was drunk.

"…Espio? What are you doing here, dude?" He asked while slurring some of his words.

"…Fuck me…you're drunk! What a surprise!" He spoke sarcastically to the drunken hedgehog. "I came to talk…"

"Um, okay? Come in, man!" He stepped to the side and allowed Espio inside of the house.

Espio slowly made his way into the living room while hearing the door practically slam behind him. He watched as Shadow stumbled his way over to the sofa and sat down.

Shadow took a sip from the beer bottle before he spoke to him again. "Well don't just stand there! Sit down, man!"

Espio sighed heavily before he sat down in the chair across from him. He kept thinking to himself that did he really want to talk to Shadow in the condition he was in? Knowing Shadow was drunk, he was thinking that he probably won't be getting the straight answers he was hoping for.

"So what's been going on, Es? I haven't see you in forever!"

He rose an eyebrow, "Yeah? Too busy with your new job? And fucking your new girl?" He spoke bitterly.

He paused as Espio began to bring up the subject about Lien-Da. "…Can we talk about something else?"

He shook his head, "No. I came here specifically to talk with you about it."

"…But…I don't want to talk about it", he said before he took another sip from the bottle.

"Well tough shit, Shadow! We're talking about it!" He shouted in a frustrated tone.

"…I told you and I'm sure Rouge did too. I cheated on Rouge with Lien-Da."

"But why?"

He chuckled a bit, "Because I'm a piece of shit."

Espio grew more and more disgusted with Shadow's behavior. He knew deep down Shadow was sorry for what he had done but at the moment, he was far too drunk to show it.

The hedgehog shrugged his shoulders carelessly. "What? I can't get my dick sucked by another hot girl? You do this all the time, dude!"

"But I didn't commit myself to another woman!"

"Chill! It's not like she and I were married or anything! Relax!" He had took another sip from the bottle. "Rouge and I got in a fight at the time anyway. She thought I was fucking her before we even started to actually fuck around. Lien-Da was just so hot and she wanted to fuck me so why not?"

With every sip of beer Shadow kept drinking, the more it made Espio angry. He was trying to have a serious conversation with him but he was so out of it, it was hard to get through to him. "…Stop fucking drinking when I'm talking to you!"

"Screw you, Espio! You can't tell me what to do!" He shouted angrily before drinking more.

"You're acting like such a fucking child! You made a huge mistake and now you're trying to run away from your problems by drowning yourself in alcohol!" He yelled angrily, "You need to admit it! You regret what you've done with Lien-Da!"

"No I don't!"

"Yes you do! If you didn't, you wouldn't be locking yourself in your fucking house drinking to death!"

"Shut up!" He suddenly threw the half empty beer bottle at the wall.

Hearing the glass bottle shatter against the wall had startled Espio. Afterwards, he saw him suddenly sobbing softly.

"You don't know anything!" He sobbed, "You don't know what I've been going through!"

With the way Shadow was acting, Espio didn't seem at all surprised. He witnessed Shadow getting drunk in front of him for as long as he could remember. He knew better than anyone what kind of drunk Shadow was. He was apparently more of an emotional and angry drunk than anything else. If anything, he was more annoyed than frightened of his behavior. "…Why, Shadow? What's the real reason why you decided to cheat on a good woman?"

He shook his head slightly as he cried, "…I don't know…"

"Yes you do", he spoke in a firm voice. "So spill it. What made you want to cheat on her?"

He placed his hand on his forehead and looked down to the floor where other empty beer bottles were seen. "…She didn't trust me around Lien-Da…"

He placed a finger to his chin, "And because she didn't trust you, it gave you the right to cheat on her? That doesn't exactly give you cool points on the whole trust factor you know?"

"…I was angry with her…"

"Big deal", he growled in a low voice. "Rouge and you have gotten into disagreements before. Why is this time any different?"

"…It was the fact that she didn't have any faith in our relationship. She…didn't have any faith in me..."

Espio crossed his arms and continued to listen to Shadow.

"And at that point, it felt like she and I were no longer dating anyway." He took his eyes away from the floor. "And then there was Lien-Da...When shit was starting to fall apart for me and Rouge, she was there for me…"

The way he heard him talking about Lien-Da, it almost seemed like he had more than just feelings for her. "…Do you love her?"

He paused and looked over to the anxious chameleon. "I won't lie and say I don't have feelings for her but…no…I don't love her."

"…What about Rouge?"

"…What about her?"

"Do you love her?" He asked in an angry tone.

He paused for a moment then made a small nod. "Of course I do, but I can't just apologize and pretend that everything is okay between us. Not after I fucked Lien-Da twice!"

He suddenly saw him get off of the sofa and walk into the kitchen. He sighed in annoyance and followed him into the kitchen. When he stepped into the kitchen, he saw him walk over to the refrigerator and open it. He watched as he took out another beer bottle from it. "Rouge said that you told her you fucked her only once."

He shook his head and opened the bottle. "That was before. The last time we fucked was a few days ago."

Espio arched an eyebrow towards him as he saw him beginning to drink more. He had thought Lien-Da was adding more to her side of the story just to get under Rouge's skin, but it seemed that she was telling some truth after all. "So Lien-Da and you are on the same page then. You two did fuck more than once…"

He then began to wonder how Espio knew so much recent activity between him and Lien-Da. He knew he sure didn't say anything to him or any of the Chaotix lately. "…Wait a minute, you talked to Lien-Da?"

He made a small nod. "Me, Tonya, and Rouge ran into her yesterday while we were out. It got pretty nasty between Rouge and Lien-Da."

He bit his lip in shock. He couldn't believe it. Rouge and Lien-Da had crossed paths and after when Shadow had cheated. He just knew their confrontation with each other wasn't a good one. "…What happened?"

"Lien-Da basically rubbed what you two have been doing in Rouge's face. Rouge got heated and attacked her."

He set down the beer bottle on the counter and rested his head on his hand. "Holy shit…" He sighed heavily in frustration, "What am I going to do?"

"Don't be stupid…"

Shadow turned to the chameleon with a puzzled look on his face.

"You know what you need to do."

He made a nod as he began to catch on to what Espio was trying to tell him. However, he couldn't see Rouge forgiving him for what he had done to her. "…But…she'll never take me back…"

"Don't say that! Especially when you haven't even attempted to talk to her yet! Besides…" He snatched the beer bottle away from his reach and set it aside from him. "Rouge isn't the only victim here! Though Lien-Da seems like a mega cunt, you've been leading her on and that's not fair to her, Shadow!"

"…You're right", he spoke in a saddened tone. "I'm playing the fuck out of her and she doesn't deserve to be treated like that." He then remembered what Lien-Da had told him about her past life with her ex boyfriend and her son. He knew that she had been through a lot and looking back at his actions towards her, he seemed no better than her old lover. "I need to break it off with Lien-Da and hope Rouge forgives me…"

"No way!"

"…What?"

"You fucked up, Shadow and you fucked up bad! You can't just simply go up to Rouge telling her that you're done with this woman."

"Well what else can I do?"

"You can't just tell her that you're done with Lien-Da. You have to show it too."

Shadow listened and tried to figure out what Espio had meant.

"Shadow, you know what you have to do. It's a hell of a sacrifice but it's either that or not having the woman you belong with back in your life again."

When Shadow slowly looked away from him, he then realized exactly what he had to do and knew it was the only way to show Rouge he was truly sorry.

In The Next Chapter...

Gin:...Do you love him?

Lien-Da: To be honest, I don't know what love feels like anymore...

Gin: What do you mean you have to go?

Shadow: I just can't be here...

Trevor: Lieutenant Shadow! Something's horribly wrong!

Shadow: What the hell have they been doing in here?