Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters.
Updated 1/21/2021
Chapter Thirteen
Guilt
"So have you come up with anything new?" Harry asked; it had been five days since they had pulled the records which have been relatively helpful, but they still lacked what they needed to make sense of all of this. They had been able to link people into different categories, depending on the tendency these people have shown in the past and the apparent goals that have seem to be what they wanted to achieve. They had separated the Death Eaters into four major piles, judging on their motivation. Harry had gotten the idea from what Malfoy had implied about not everyone being happy with the way things turned out and that the leader came to Malfoy with a reason that didn't really suit him anymore, but knowing that there were other ways could have used to be persuasive.
The first group was the hard core Death Eaters, mostly made up of the old Death Eaters and a few new people that would have been followers of the Dark Lord if they had been old enough to have gotten the chance. Harry quickly realized that they had been mostly been dealing with this group up to this point, and figured that most of them were gone now. The next group was very similar to this once, though they weren't quite so radical. They where the pureblood families that weren't as outspoken as the Death Eaters were in the last war, but were now upset about the way things were changing and their lost of power. The next group was similar to this group too, but once again a little less radical than the last and had completely different bases for their motivation. Mostly, they didn't like all the changes that have been happening since the end of the war either, though they oddly enough have come for one of the groups that have gain something with some of the new laws that were put into place (however, they were unhappy that other groups had benefited for this too). How these groups got along with each other didn't make sense to anyone until Bill pointed out that they probably didn't even know that some of their 'comrades' are from these other groups. After that Harry smirked darkly to himself, thinking that they probably weren't even able to meet, the different factions were likely kept separate for each other so they would never find out about this.
However, it was this that really confused Harry more than anything else. The army was built with people that would hate each other as soon as they met, so what was the end goal that would really unite them? However, he could see the value of going after him (Harry) though, every one of these groups would see him as a target, either because they hated him for the last war or blamed the new laws and running of the Ministry on him.
The last group was the smallest, the most disturbing, and, therefore, the one that was the least understandable. It was easy to see what the other groups expected to gain from this, though they all had a different idea how it would manifest. They all wanted power and to control the way things are shaped. The last group however, had only four people in it and the only thing that really untied this lot was that it was impossible to understand what they wanted.
Each person was different too; one was a murderous crazed person that had been on the Auror's most wanted list for five years. Mark Moon was the worst kind of criminal out there. He had no morals and he cause mayhem everywhere, and was quite innovated with it. Harry had met him only once, only the one time when he and Ron (and a team of trained Aurors) where able to corner him on one of his brutal attacks and the man had terrified Harry more than he would like to admit. As Harry looked into the other man's eyes, he saw nothing; there was no motive, enjoyment (which always use to make Harry feel sick seeing it in the other criminals, but somehow the lack of it make him feel ever worse; it was like he was more of a monster because of this). There was nothing! Harry was also unnerved about how he had gotten away; because Mark Moon had always worked alone before this, but his time he had help that came just in time for him to get him out of there unscathed.
The other two were harder to understand. One of them was Lisa Moon, the sister of the monster and Harry thought that perhaps she might be the only person that could reason with her brother (both for controlling and for in sighting scarier outputs from him), then again Mark might not be able to care or relate to anyone. She didn't have a record and she obeyed the law to a tee, but strange things have been happening around her for years. Though none of these things could be pinned on her, Harry knew that she was the one that caused them (he lacked the evidence he needed to do something about it). So, all that he could really gather from her was that she was very clever, and good at covering her tracks. Then there was Jeff Stone, who didn't seem to fit with any of these people at all (he didn't seem like he would like their methods). He was intelligent, didn't seem to be prejudices to anyone and his nature didn't portray him as a violent man.
The last person from this group was Jake Robinson, and, according to Malfoy, their leader. Malfoy had been right about one thing at least; the only thing that was odd about his record was that he was completely average in every way. He had been a solid A student though he managed to get his grades to E in four of the classes on his O.W.L's so he could continue on to his N.E.W.T's. Not one of his teachers made a comment about him in his records (which isn't unheard of but usual there is one subject a person is good at and the teacher would say something) and unfortunately he graduated after everyone left Hogwarts and before Neville had became a teacher so none of them had seen him). He had been a Ravenclaw, from a family that had a history of being Ravenclaws, and it was likely that he was an underachiever, maybe even a disappointment. He had no record of getting a job.
After this discovery Ron was often heard saying, 'you know Malfoy could have been lying about this guy.' Harry had to admit that it could be true … it was hard to think of this guy as the leader of anything, not to mention the bunch of lunatics that they were now facing. However, his instincts told him that though it didn't make sense, this was the guy he was looking for (it might have been because nothing else about this made sense so this would at least fit with that).
"Not really," Bill answered Harry's question a little late since he knew that Harry wasn't really asking him, but it didn't look like Hermione was in any mood to answer Harry at the moment. After Hermione had yelled at Harry for nearly a half an hour about how he had the audacity to say that he didn't trust her just so she would lay off his back (Ron was in the corner of the room smirking at his terrified best mate), she hadn't said two words to him.
"Thanks," Harry said sighing as he left the room immediately; he wanted to make things better between Hermione and him but wasn't sure how to do it. He then walked up to Ron and George, who were listening to the flies transmissions. "Did you fine something?"
"Plenty," Ron smiled at his friend, Harry was happy that Ron didn't hold anything against him. He remembered the other day when he asked Ron about it.
"Hey Ron," Harry said looking uncomfortable, not just about the latest batch of silence from Hermione had gave before she left the room, but also about what he was going to asked (Ron and him don't usually talk out loud about their feeling if they could help it).
"What's up mate?" Ron asked noticing his friend's discomfort.
"Don't take this the wrong way, but why aren't you pissed at me too?" Harry asked.
"I don't have anything to be angry with you for," Ron shrugged. "Well except for the whole Malfoy thing …"
"But Ari is …" Harry said, his voice bitter and self-loathing.
"I can't really be angry with you for anything that has to do with you and Arthur," Ron interrupted. "You've been there so much more than I was, and probably ever could be now. I'm just so grateful for all you've done … I'm not angry about that. Though I do agree with Mione; you've been acting really stupid about this."
"Thanks," Harry sighed. "I hope it's not causing you any problems between the two of you."
"Are you kidding," Ron laughed. "Mione would skin me alive if I was angry at you just because she was. Besides, she knows how much you need at least one of your best friends and if I wasn't here she would likely have had to make up with you by now."
"Anything good," Harry said bring himself back to reality.
"Actually, yes," Ron said, but his voice betrayed that he was skeptical about the information.
"What is it?" Harry asked.
"We know where he is right now," Ron said. "Our dear Professor scumbag has made contact with who we believe the leader is."
Neville, like Ari before him, had figured that the Death Eater that had sold them out at Hogwarts was one of two people and he chose to put the fly on Professor MacDougal before he had gotten the terrible news about Ari.
"Are you skeptical about the leader part?" Harry said raising an eyebrow.
"Not this time," Ron said, making it obvious that he still didn't believe that was a fact either. "It seems too easy … that we would found out where he is at this time …"
"Come on Roniekins," George said rolling his eyes. "We know that that scumbag was already in contact with leader boy … why is it so suspicious that they would meet now?"
"That part is fine," Ron sighed. "It's understandable that they would meet at a highly fortified building that we have no way of breaking into even with all our forces put together …"
"We can totally break in there," George said indignant, he was not one to believe that something was impossible.
"Of course, but it would take us hours to pull that off and by that time we would lose the element of surprise," Ron said glaring at his brother a little peeved that George never seem to realized that this was what he did for a living and he was good at his job. "The part that's really bothering me is that they were talking about another place they are going to attack, a fatal mission where leader boy will be the head of with only two other people going with him …"
"You think it's a trap," Harry said and Ron nodded.
"How can it be … they don't know about the flies … that we are listening to them," George said.
"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Ron said. "We have been using them to prevent some of their attacks from becoming too serious, and all of them, except for the one on the Boot's, have been ones that Professor scumbag was informed of. They might be deluded fools but they're not stupid. They will notice that at some point, especially since he is someone that everyone knew had been in contact with us in the last few weeks."
"But they didn't give any indication that they knew this," George said.
"All they would have to do was keep MacDougal in the dark and we would never realize it," Harry said thoughtfully. "Gather up all you information and we'll put it to the family."
It was the longest meeting they had since this whole stupid thing began a month ago; Harry marveled at the fact that everything that has happened (life changing events in some cases) all taken place within such a short period of time. The first half of their discussion had been on whether it was a trap or not, most people thinking it wasn't but Ron and Neville (and Harry for the most part) believing it was. That was until Hermione finally voice her opinion (she had waited this long to decide which had more meaning and came up with a completely different answer then what she had been looking for). It didn't matter if it was a trap or not, this was too good of an opportunity to let it go to waste. Now all that matter was how they were going to handle the situation.
This is what filled the rest of their discussion, how they were going to handle this venture without knowing what was going to be out there waiting for them. It was also about this time when it became obvious (and necessary) that they get in-touch with their other forces, instead of just having it between the family. Many people, though still not convinced that it was really a trap opt for more people going in case it really was one (this group was mostly filled with people like Molly who wanted to make sure that everyone would be safe). However, it was also feared that this could be a trap in a way that it lead a huge force to one place so somewhere else could be taken without any opposition (which Harry didn't think was likely; thinking that Jake Robinson enjoyed the confrontation too much to allow that). They entire meeting had lasted seven hours and by the end of it nothing was decided yet.
"Everyone needs to take a break and step back from this for a moment," Harry said to the room full of people, they were in one of the other houses that were set up for their alleys. Over the last few weeks their number had steadily increased and there were now about fifty people outside of his family that could be counted on to help in this fight (and more that hadn't strictly enlisted … yet). "We'll talk about this at noon on Monday," he continued hoping that was enough time.
When the Weasleys, Potters and Longbottoms got back to Shell Cottage Hermione sighed. "I don't feel comfortable leaving Arthur at St. Mungo's."
"He's their distraction so he should be safe there," Harry said in a dead voice, he didn't like to think of his godson like that, as a distraction.
"I don't trust that they won't do something to him if this ends badly for them," Hermione said through gritted teeth; she didn't like that her son was in that much danger and even more that she had to ask to get him out.
"Would it be safe for him if he come here?" Harry asked filled with concern but unable to look at her.
"Healer Strout said that he didn't recommend that Ari be moved," though the question was directed at Hermione, it was Ginny that answered. Healer Strout had been informed immediately that Ginny would be coming disguised as Hermione, because they thought it was best that he knew what was going on and that it wouldn't affect Ari with their experiment with him being away from his parents. It was obvious that they would have to trust him with at least this much information to allow him to do his job correctly (though he wasn't allowed to tell anyone else about this). Hermione also told Strout that he could tell Ginny anything that he would have told her … it would be the most helpful that way. "He said, it would be best if Ari stayed there seeing as it's only been a few weeks and they don't know the full extents of the curse. However, he understands the predicament we are in and he knows that this might be necessary and he thinks that Ari would be able to handle the change well enough."
"Why do you know this?" Harry asked evenly.
"Mione was worried something might happen so she wanted me to ask," Ginny shrugged; they had discussed this a few days ago.
"And you really think this situation calls for that action?" Harry asked looking at Hermione.
She glared at him, mostly angrily that she had to ask him, but she was also determined. "Yes."
"Alright then," Harry said his face was still emotionless, but he was quite relieved by this too. He knew that his one guard wouldn't be enough to protect Ari and Harry had been worried about his safety for a long time now. "But wait until the morning."
"Fine," Hermione said as she left the room, relieved that she got her way without a fight (she half expected Harry to protest because he would be nervous about being in the same house as Ari). "I'll get him in the morning."
O
Morning couldn't have come fast enough for Hermione; she was too keyed up to fall asleep (though when she did finally manage it she slept more peaceably than she had in a while). It had been eight and a half days since she had last seen her son, which wasn't a long time by normal standards but it seem a lifetime in the present circumstance. Though, Ron wanted to go with her, she had convinced him that she needed to go alone; she needed it to be just the two of them for a few moments. As she reached for the door her hand shook, and she smiled to herself briefly trying to calm her nerves (though she wasn't quite sure why she was so nervous in the first place).
Ari looked at the door as soon as he heard it jiggle. He was sitting in his favorite position on the floor across from the door; he was reading his history book (oddly enough one of his favorite subjects). He looked at the clock that was on the opposite wall of his bed (the wall to the right of him now) and noticed it was an hour before Ginny would usually come, so he thought it must be a healer to do some kind of test on him. So you could image his surprise (and excitement) when he found out that it was his Mum; his really Mum and not his favorite aunt disguised as her.
He got up immediately and hugged her, though he had no idea why she was there (and thought it was much too soon for her to visit him), he couldn't stop himself; he missed her too much in the last week. He took a step back smiling at her and then stared at her confused; the question of why she was here left his head as he looked at her. There was something different about her that he couldn't place, it was as if there was a connection there, one that was different than the one he was use to over the last two weeks, it was something more … in addition to this …
"What is it?" Hermione asked worried about Ari's reaction.
'I don't know,' Ari shrugged; he would have to think about this later.
"Are you angry with me for coming too soon?" Hermione asked smiling at him.
Ari sighed; he couldn't lie to her after the greeting he just gave her. 'No.'
"Good," she said still smiling. "I'm here to take you home with me."
He looked at her shocked; that can't be right … he still needed so much before he would be ready to go.
"I know," Hermione said, Ari hadn't realized his thoughts were so transparent that time (he wasn't trying to communicate with her). "But we think it will be better … er … safer, if you're home with us."
Ari sighed. 'You think they will come back for me here, don't you?'
"Yes," Hermione said gravely. "And it's best if they didn't have that option."
'Don't want to make the same mistake twice,' Ari smirked.
"I wouldn't dream of it," Hermione said.
It only took Ari five minutes to gather all of his things (which included the sign he made to encourage himself to never give up) and place them in the bag Hermione had brought with her. When they got to the waiting room Bill, who had to be there because Ari had never been to Shell Cottage and he couldn't get through the wards, joined them. They then walked to the Apparation and minutes later they were on their way home.
The first thing Ari did when he came there was to run over to Ryn and hug her fiercely, and she was hugging him back with just as much force. He had thought a lot about his best friend over the last two and a half weeks (including the days when he was being held captive) and there was so much he wanted to tell her … that he needed to say. He started trembling at that thought, knowing that he wouldn't be able to 'say' anything and hoped she would be able to understand him. He pulled away after a while and smiled at her, she mirroring his reaction. He would like nothing more than to try to communicate everything he was thinking about at this minute, but he knew that he really (they really) needed privacy for that.
Right now he didn't have any privacy, because even before he could finish that thought one of his cousins had grabbed him and forced his attention away from his best friend.
"You know you were kind of a prat," Fred said sternly (but his smile ruined the effect). "Talking me down like that then bolting … Didn't you realize that I would blame myself for you too!" he added referring to the discussion they had before Ari had run off to help Teddy.
Ari looked sort of shocked and then shrugged smiling sheepishly. 'I didn't really think of that … Sorry.'
Fred looked at him confuse, obviously unable to understand him. Ryn took pity on him and said (before Hermione was able to), "I didn't think about it … sorry."
Ari beamed at Ryn at that, and she couldn't help but smile back as Hermione said, "Well it looks like we have another translator … that's good."
Ari then walked around the room getting greeted by all of his family (including the Longbottoms). The experience was making Ari feel more normal at the same time as it seemed to be draining him of all his energy. He also didn't like the hesitation he could see in almost everyone; like they were afraid to do something that would set him off (he would just have to be patient with them). The only look that was different came from Teddy, his look was guiltier than anything else, which just caused Ari to roll his eyes at his turquoise haired friend and punch him on the arm (which caused Teddy to smile and relax more after that).
O
It was four hours later when Ari found himself sitting across from Harry. He had spent the first hour with all his cousins and Ryn, which he found was mostly entertaining and indeed like it much better than his lonely stay at the hospital. However, he could feel the taxation that this was having on him, near the end of the hour his head was starting to get fizzy and he needed to be alone. Though when he got to his room, he was staying with his parents in a small tent outside seeing as he needed to have his own room, he realized he was more alone than he wanted to be. He had wanted Ryn to come with him, he thought that he had given her a look that made his attention clear, but obviously he hadn't (which was odd, she seemed to pick everything else up easily enough).
He spent about two and a half hours alone in his room reading. It was wonderful, he had read a lot at the hospital, it was one of the few things he was able to do without pain or confusion, but it was different in this room. Maybe it was the fact that he didn't have to be sitting here reading, he could be outside doing just about anything if he wanted to, and somehow his choice made the act more enjoyable. However, after a few hours he was starting to crave the company of other people (though he knew he wasn't up for a crowd, it was too overwhelming in his current condition), he thought if he could find a few people together he would be okay.
That's how he found himself sitting across from Harry. He had really been missing his godfather over the last few weeks and thought he would enjoy his company. However, after a few minutes he could feel the tension grow unexpectedly and it took several more minutes before Ari realized why he was acting like this. It really made Ari feel uncomfortable for more than one reason. The first was that he was sure that if Harry would look at him he would have been one of the few people that could mostly understand him (after all, aunt Ginny could do it pretty well and though she knew him a lot better than most of his relatives it was nothing to how Harry knew him). The other reason was that there was nothing in this world that would make him blame Harry for anything and he didn't like the guilt Harry was showing.
He tried to convey his feeling to Harry, but it was no use, Harry wasn't looking at him and he couldn't do anything if that didn't happen. This frustrated Ari more than anything else and more intensely than anything has in the past. He banged his fist on the table, frustration flowing off him, because he was unable to communicate his feeling; that he could never get someone to understand him at all if they refused to look at him.
However, the banging did make Harry look up at him, really look at him for the first time.
Ari was glaring at him angrily, and was going to let him have it, however, before he could say anything he saw the look in Harry's eyes. The guilt, pain and fear were too powerful for Ari to look at; it hit him like a ton of bricks and hurt him more than anything else could. Harry looked away then, knowing the damage that look caused and whispered, "Sorry."
Ari grabbed his head as soon as Harry looked away; irrational fears seemed to be taking over him. He could see how this look could mean a change to everything in his life and that was making him lose grip on his reality. He could see that if things don't change that he wouldn't be able to be around Harry anymore, this pain and guilt was going to drain the sanity right out of him and he couldn't take that now. The realization hurt like nothing else could, he loved Harry like a father (though it was different than the way he felt about his real Dad). Harry had always been the one that he looked up to, tried to emulate and went to when he needed advice. How was he supposed to deal with this if Harry wasn't helping him? At that question Ari was no longer able to stay in the room, it hurt too much for him, so he got up hastily and left.
"Arthur," Hermione said as soon as he left, she was so close it was easy to know that she had been watching the exchange between the two of them. She walked over to Ari and immediately he was hugging her, tears in his eyes because of his revelation about Harry. He held on to her tightly, the only thing now that was constant in his life, the one thing that has and will always be there for him. He put his head on top of hers, he was already several inches taller than her (only a few inches shorter than his Dad), and took in the peaceful feeling that she filled him with, that she had always filled him with when he needed it.
It was awhile later that he pulled away from her and nodded his head towards the tent, 'I think I should go to my room now.'
"Do you want me to come?" Hermione asked and he shook his head. She watched him go, feeling depressed and more than a little angry, and as soon as he was gone she turn back to where her friend was still sitting (looking rather depressed himself but this time she didn't let that stop her). "What was that?" she yelled at Harry.
"I didn't mean … I'm sorry," Harry said in a dead voice, his head resting in his hands.
"Harry, you have to make this better …!" Hermione said fiercely, though not as much as it was a moment ago. "You have to talk to him …"
"I don't see the point … nothing has changed," Harry dead voice said (infuriating Hermione).
"So you are just going to leave him like this?" Hermione asked coldly.
"What else can I do?" Harry asked, in a self-loathing voice, but she could hear the plead in there, too (he was hoping that she had some way to make this better).
She looked at him calculating for a moment, she couldn't reach him while he was beating himself up, she would have to shock him even more than he already was. So she decided to tell him something that was below the belt, but was also true; and it was something that he needed to know. "If things don't change soon, Harry, I don't think you and I could ever be the same again."
It took a second for that to sink in, then his eyes bulged out and he looked at her in complete shock and filled with more pain than ever, before he said, "What?"
She looked back at him, in almost as much pain as he was in (though she was only feeling this pain and he was feeling several types) and sighed. "I don't know what would change … but I know that it will change things … if it continues like this … it would have to …" her voice became more shakily as she spoke and she was close to tears.
"What do you want from me?" Harry whispered, in a pleading voice again.
"To talk to him," Hermione said, she could see that he was listening now and prayed that it was enough to make this work.
"I can't …" Harry said desperately. "He wouldn't want to see me anyways after what he saw … he left so fast …"
"He can't take your guilt, Harry," Hermione snapped angrily that Harry was such a coward when it came to emotions. "Don't think for one second he doesn't want you around … he loves you, Harry, and he wants you … he just can't take the guilt you showed him. The pain that you might never look at him the way you used to …"
"What do you want from me, Mione?" Harry repeated, suddenly yelling at her. "That's who I am … you know that better than just about anyone … I can't change who I am …"
"So you're not even going to try!" Hermione yelled back.
"Nothing has changed," Harry said. "I can't control that look … and he'll see through me in a second …"
"Maybe," Hermione said thoughtfully this time. Harry was right, she did understand his guilty feeling better than anyone (except for Ginny) and she knew that once he is faced with the reason for the guilt he normal was able to control it better after that. "You should talk to him, Harry," she said her voice was more controlled now and a little hopeful. "Tell him what you're feeling."
"I don't see how that will help," Harry said stubbornly.
"It will help, because Arthur doesn't blame you," Hermione said looking fiercely at her very stubborn friend. "No one blames you for anything that has happened … no one except for you that is."
Harry stared back at her, feeling the tiny bit of hope (and relief) that statement gave him and said, "Fine." As he walked away, stray thoughts would come to him like he really should be giving Ari time to recover from their last meeting, but as he got closer to the tent he knew that the sooner he got this over with the better everything would be.
Ari looked up as soon as he felt that someone had entered his room, and was surprised to find Harry there. He could still see Harry's guilt but there was something else there that made Ari almost hopeful that this would turn out okay, though he was still staring at Harry warily because he didn't know how this was going to affect him.
"Your Mum thinks that it's best if I talk to you," Harry said; not sure where to start and thought this was the best place (Ari just rolled his eyes and looked annoyed at that). "She doesn't like how things are between us right now and she thinks if I told you how I felt it would help," Harry continued sitting near Ari and trying not to look at him too much. "Leave it to Mione to think that sharing feeling is the answer to everything …"
Ari gave an exasperated sign of agreement, but he was smiling too; she was always trying to make him talk about things like this.
"Anyways," Harry said almost smiling for a second, it almost felt natural being there, but by the time he spoke again he was back to his nearly dead sounding voice. "I'm sorry Arthur … for what I put you through … for not being able to look after you …"
Ari hit his shoulder at that, causing Harry (with great effort, but knowing that he had to look at Ari during this conversation at least) to look at him. Ari then shook his head glaring at him. 'It's not your fault.'
"They attacked Hogwarts because they were trying to get at me," Harry said stubbornly, in a defeated voice.
Ari shrugged and glared more fiercely at him, a look that was so Hermione that Harry could practically hear the words. 'That doesn't mean that it's your fault."
"Yes it does," Harry said, not as a defense this time but as a statement (nothing anyone could say will ever make him think differently). "And you going after Teddy like you did … that's my fault too … if I hadn't told you so much …"
Ari scoffed in disbelief, almost laughing, and the made the sign for Teddy. 'Teddy is my friend …'
"I know, and you went after him because of all the stories I told you about," Harry muttered.
Ari scoffed again, slapped his face and waved his hand rolling his eyes. 'My dad and mum would have done that … I got it from them too.'
"Maybe," Harry said smiling. "They definitely would have done that for me … without giving it a second thought too." He was still smiling at that but it only lasted a second before he sighed then added, "But I'm still the reason why you were taken … why you were tortured …."
Ari groaned shaking his head and then signed. 'No you are not … the Death Eaters did that.'
"You're just like them," Harry smiled again. "Always letting me off for the things that I caused."
Ari raised his eyebrow. 'Then maybe you didn't really cause them.'
"Whatever," Harry said rolling his eyes, and then added in a sullen voice, "it's not going to go away, Ari … this guilt. I'm always going to feel reasonable for this, no matter what you say."
Ari rolled his eyes and made some signs. 'Just like Teddy.'
"Yeah, I guess he picked that up from me … sorry," Harry said sheepishly (though he also looked a little smug that his other godson picked things up from him). "But I think mine will be worse."
Ari stared at Harry critically after that statement, it didn't sound good to him, like Harry was still planning on pulling away from him. He made signs to portray his thoughts, 'So are you going to avoid me now or something?'
"I don't know, Ari," Harry said with a self-loathing voice again. "I can't change who I am; I'm always going to blame myself, and I'm pretty sure that you will be able to tell that …"
'Will it be as bad as it was before?' Ari portrayed.
"I doubt it … it doesn't feel that way anymore," Harry said, he could already feel that it was no longer the all-consuming pain it was only an hour ago.
'How about now … will it always be this bad?' Ari portrayed, he could manage now … in small doses … if this is all he got from his godfather it would have to be enough.
"I don't know," Harry smiled. "I imagine it will come and go just like every other time I felt something like this."
Ari was now smiling at him, 'Good, then I think I can handle it.'
"Are you sure? I don't want to cause you any pain," Harry said worried.
'It would hurt more if you're not around,' Ari shrugged and then made a series of complicated looks and hand gestures. 'Besides, you seem to be one of the few people that can understand me pretty easily … well, at least when you're looking at me.'
"Er …" Harry said truly confused.
Ari laughed loudly at Harry's confusion. 'Some of the time at least.' He then laughed harder because Harry obviously didn't understand that one either. Harry soon joined in with this one, thinking that it was easier to go back to normal with Ari than he would have ever thought possible.
A/N: Okay, I felt that some issues had to be solved before I got into the next chapter, especially with Harry having to go on the next mission. You'll see just how dangerous that mission is and that it's a good thing that Harry and Hermione relationship will be strong again, because they will really need each other.
I also have a question I'd like to pose to all of you. I'm getting near to the end of my story (with four or five more chapters after this one) and I was wondering if you would like everything to be wrapped up (mostly in regards with Ari) or if things should end more realistically. I have seen him recover in more than one way and it could either happen in this story (in about two chapters) or it could happen like I think it would after several years of hard work and realizations. I only ask this because at the being of this story I thought I would make everything a perfect happy ending (all problems solved) but it seems like it would be too fast in this situation (I had also seen the fight taking a longer time but it changed while I was writing it). Let me know what you think, or I'll just have to choose the one that I think felts best with the story.