Unbelievable. I'm having writor block over this, which I used to get rid of writior block. D'arvit! This will be something that suddenly occured at me at 5 o'clock. Maybe I should go to bed earlier.. Nah. Don't feel like it. Anyway, I don't own Artemis Fowl. Enjoy!

Artemis Fowl;

Root: When I looked that human in the face, I figured he was either a genius or crazy.

Foaly: So which is it? A genius or crazy?

Root: What's the difference?

Pirates of the caribbean;

Will Turner; This is either madness or brilliance

Jack Sparrow; It is remarkable how often those two traits coincide

See the similairity? Another prove Artemis Fowl is amazing, cause he is a bit like Jack Sparrow. So amazing... Hmm. I wonder what Artemis Fowl would look like dressed up as a pirate. I bet he would be really hot..

Butler: Right, enough talk. I think it's time Mister Vassikin was introduced to my friend, Mister Fist.

Me; Is Mister Fist you're right or left fist? I'm a little bit confused. Which one do you use to hit someone with?

Foaly: You see, Mud Boy, goblins are stupid. I'm not insulting them. It's a proven fact. Brains no bigger than rats. One of the Goblin's generals, and this is their top fairy, was caught trying to pass off a forged credit card by signing his own name.

Size of a human brain; 15 centimeters. Volume is something entirely different, like 1200 cubic centimeters. Size of the biggest rat; approximately 82 centimeters. Wow. Goblins have very big brains. Shouldn't they be smart then? Or is it the case that having a larger brain, actually means you're stupid?

Root: Goblins. Evolution's little joke. Take the dumbest creatures under the earth and give them the power to conjure fire.

They will set themselves and everyone around them on fire. Another joke of evolution; let two species evolute. One becomes the Homo sapiens, or in other words humans, and the other's become apes. The homo sapiens have the brains to make weapons and destroy each other or use their advanced technology to make peace and a perfect world. They choose war and destruction. The apes however, choose to eat each other brains. ( This is really true, I saw it once on discovery channel. Or animal planet. One of the two)

Artemis: I never tell anybody exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.

Me; nodding. Exactly. That's very clever Artemis. How clever exactly are you?

Artemis : Mister Spiro, Jon. I am not a complete idiot.

Me; So you are an idiot, just not a complete idiot?

Jerbal Argon: Sorry, I panicked. If we lost Koboi, the clinic would never live it down. I'm just a little paranoid, I suppose. Faces can be changed, but...

Merv and Scant: (together) ...DNA never lies

Grub Kelp: I think Doctor Argon needs a little vacation.

I think it can never be good for any creature to spend his days in a clinic filled with crazy people...

Holly: Seven and a half hours to save the world. Isn't there some law that says we get twenty-four?

Artemis I don't think Opal pays much attention to laws.

What gave it away? The fact she has ignored practically every law existing?

Holly: What color is the uniform?

Foaly: Matte black.

Holly: I'm in.

Artemis was right, like always. She really is a black widow.

Holly: I was turning into an adolescent, now that was gross.

Tell me about it. It is beyond gross. It's disgusting.

Artemis: Holly, how did you find me?

Holly: Oh, I saw a huge explosion and wondered: now, who could that be?

Combustion man! Run for your lives! ( character Avatar the last airbender)

N°1: We´re going upstairs? Didn´t that young lady tell you not to allow me upstairs?

Artemis: How long have you known me, Number One?

N°1: Ah, I see. Artemis Fowl never does what he is told to do.

Unless it is his mother who tells him to do something. She even gets him to wear jeans. Very impressive.

Holly: (in mock horror) Are you suggesting that I occasionally stray away from the rulebook?

Foaly: No, I'm suggesting that you do not own a copy of the rule book and if you do, you have certainly never opened it.

I just think this one is funny. Don't really have anything to add to it:)

"Humm humm haaa. Rahmumm humm haaaa," intoned Opal, finishing her chant. "Peace be inside me, tolerance all around me, forgiveness in my path. Now, Mervall, show me where the filthy human is so that I may feed him his organs."

Hilarious. You know, for such a smart person, Opal really doesn't get the idea of meditation. And have a feeling she doesn't know what peace, tolerance and forgiveness means. It certainly doesn't mean feeding a mudboy his own organs. Which is impossible anyway.

"I bet," said Mulch, "that you would set the world on fire just to watch it burn."
Opal tapped the suggestion into a small electronic notepad on her pocket computer.
Thanks for that. Now, tell me everything."

I bet that would be pretty awesome to see. Except if you set the world on fire, you sort of set yourself on fire, because everyone will be burned.

"They have gone. And the tunnel is about to close. So, boys, I am looking for someone to blame."

Don't look at me! I didn't do it.

"Play along, the wink said. I'll get you out of this.

At least Artemis hoped this was what his wink communicated and not something like 'Any chance of another kiss later?"

Probably not Arty. She said your elf-kissing days were over. But then again, she also changed her mind about you. She actually became your friend while you kidnapped her, brought her entire race in danger and forced her to cut off a thumb. I personally would have killed you if you tried any of these. Maybe your elf-kissing days aren't over after all.

"Of course I saved you," she said. "I couldn't do without you." And because she was happy and flushed with magic, Holly leaned down and kissed Artemis, magic sparking around the contact like tiny fireworks."

Calm down Holly. You already saved him, he isn't drowning or something. He doesn't need mouth-to-mouth or anything. And he isn't sleeping beauty either.

"It looks like you've found an intellectual equal, Mulch," said Holly. "It's a pity he isn't a girl; then you could marry him."

Mulch imitated shock. "Romance outside your species. Now THAT's disgusting. What kind of weirdo would kiss someone when they weren't even part of the same species?"

He can still marry JayJay, if he likes him. Really likes him. Wait. If JayJay looks like commander Root, would that mean he married a substitute of Root and have secretly been in love with Julius for years? Wow. Deep thinking... Truffles!