* Sigh * Okay people, even though it breaks my heart every time I have to say it.. I don't own Artemis Fowl. Eoin Colfer owns Artemis Fowl. I don't own Artemis Fowl. There. You made me say it three times. Happy? If you aren't, at least try to enjoy this story will you?
The time paradox, page 292; " And Merval?" " Miss Koboi?" " I think little Descant has a crush on me. He told me earlier that I was vey phototractive. Poor little simpleton. Could you tell him that I am unavailable? If you don't, I shall have to have him killed." Merv sighed. " I shall tell him, Miss Koboi. I feel sure he will be disconnipted".
Everyone knew that Opal is just being arrogant and Discant doesn't like her, since she is crazy, cruel, mean, annoying etcetera. But what if he was? And what if his brother told him Opal wasn't available? What would be his reaction? Would he accept it? Or try to change Opal's mind?
Merval sighed. " I shall tell him, Miss Koboi. I feel sure he will be disconnipted. Opal answered without even looking at him, thus feeling to read his expression that clearly said she was crazy for believing this. " Good. It would be very annoying to have to kill him. I don't time for murder right now. Unless it is that infuriating mud boy, of course. Then I have all the time of the world".
She made a giggling sound, almost like she was just another woman, instead of the crazy, ambitious pixie she actually was. " Quite literally in fact". Merval frowned. " What do you mean?".
Opal looked at him and sighed. " You can be just as annoying and useless as you brother sometimes. Neither of you ever truly grasp the my brilliant plans. And time stream? So I have all the time of the world, because I can travel through time and change it?".
Merval nodded enthusiastically, already regretting his question. Opal hated it when he interrupted her. Who knew what she might do. " Of course miss Koboi. Very impressive you noticed. And amusing".
Opal looked at him briefly, already walking away. She raised her eyebrows slightly. " Would you have expected anything different?".
Merval swallowed, with difficulty. He had no doubts about how lethal the pixie could be. She wasn't only very, very smart, but also had a temper. Practically everything made her angry, from forgetting to compliment her to failing at a task, and the punishment was very harsh. Opal had strcit rules, with various punishments. And he didn't want to have to deal with one of those punishments. So he was quick to reassure the pixie.
" Of course not miss Koboi! All you say is perfect and brilliant, just like you". Opal nodded. " Exactly. I am perfect and perfect doesn't have any mistakes. Don't forget that Merval. And don't be stupid and fall in love with me like your brother, because I don't like you. I like monkey excrement more than you". That was all she said before turning her back on him and walking away.
Merval sighed. I wonder how my life would be if I didn't have to listen to that crazy pixie. A whole lot better, I imagine. Her insults are starting to get really annoying. Well, at least she didn't punish me. Like she did with Descant.
He started to walk, knowing where Descant would be. The twins had a little room for themselves and he was sure Descant would be there. Probably to recover from his little trip to the cage with the red river hog. Not a pleasant experience.
But then again, working with Opal was anything but pleasant. The only pleasant thing about it, was in fact the astronomical wage. That was all that prevented him from leaving. Well, that and the fear Opal would take revenge if he dared to leave her. Which she probably would.
I wonder if Descant feels better. He looked quite shaken-up from his meeting with that red river hog. Maybe the news that Opal thinks he likes her, will make him feel better. That pixie seriously needs a smaller ego. This one is so big it might explode. She is not even his type. Besides, who would someone like her?
With this in his mind, Merval walked into the room where is brother was. He saw his brother sitting on the only chair in the room, his head in his hands. He didn't look up when Merval entered.
Merval walked towards his brother and gave him a small punch. " He bro! Everything all right? That red river hog didn't hurt you too much, did it?". Decant shrugged. " I'm all right, I guess. Not the worst punishment I received from her".
Merval winched. That was true. Opal was a true master at coming up with punishments. She seemed to enjoy it, laughing whenever someone got hurt. Another sign of her true nature. She wasn't the pixie people believed her to be. Not that she would reveal that without being ready for it.
Merval looked at his brother, who looked rather depressed. Maybe Opal's comment would cheer him up. " Hey brother. I have something that will make you smile, at the very least. Guess what? Miss Koboi thinks you have a crush on her! Isn't it hilarious? To think you would actually like her".
Merval started laughing, but noticed soon his twin wasn't joining in the laughter. He didn't show anything, but his ears were slightly red and he seemed rather tense.
Merval frowned. Why wasn't his brother laughing? He thought it was funny. He lightly touched Descant's shoulder. " Say something already will you? The red river hog wasn't that bad, was it? I really expected my news would cheer you up".
Descant finally looked up. " E-eh. Yes, it's very funny indeed. What exactly did she say?". Merval shrugged. " She said she believed you had a crush on her and that I should tell you she isn't available".
He chuckled. " Like someone would ever actually like her". He expected Descant to start laughing and joking, like they normally did together, but he didn't. He just sat there.
Merval sighed. What was wrong with Descant this time. He looked at Decant, who seemed to be actually thinking about this. He looked up to his brother, his jaw clenched.
" Why? Why isn't she available? Does she had someone?". Merval shrugged. " I don't think so. If she is in love, it is with herself. It is the only person she ever talks about. But why would you care?".
Descant looked away, clearing his throat. " Nothing" he said. Merval wasn't fooled. They were twins. There was little his brother could keep from him. So he realized the truth approximately two seconds later. And widened his eyes when he did.
" You- You like her !" he said accusingly, not wanting to believe it. But he knew his brother too well. It was the truth, the horrible, horrible truth. His brother liked Opal Koboi.
Descant looked at him. He finally managed to overcome his stupor. " How couldn't I! She is beautiful, smart and-". " And crazy, paranoid, cruel, hea-". " SHUT UP! You are talking about the love of my life!". " I AM TALKING ABOUT OUR CRAZY BOSS" ! " Shut up!". " You are just as crazy as her if you like her! She is a mean, heartless, cruel-" " YOU ARE GONNA PAY FOR THAT!".
In no time, the two twins were engaged in the typical fight between siblings. Insults were hurt, fists made contact with skin, teeth were bared, they were rolling over the floor.
Right when Merval was on top of Descant, ready to finish him, Opal walked in. She raised her eyebrows when Merval spit in Descant's eye, making the pixie roar. He was really angry.
" Let me go! That is disgusting". " Apologize!". " I will if you take it back!". " I-".
Opal cleared her throat. They both looked at her, their faces immediately losing all color. Opal smiled, satisfied she had their undivided attention.
" Listen, you simpletons. We aren't here to play some silly game. We have to catch that mud boy, so I can feed him his organs. Stop this foolish game or I will feed you your organs".
With that, she turned and walked towards the door. Right before she walked outside, she turned and sighed. " And I know I am just perfect and astonishly beautiful, but I had warned you to leave me alone. So stop fighting already, I am unavailable". With that being said, the pixie left, leaving two stunned men behind.
Haha. Another one about Opal. Sort of. I read this in the time paradox and decided it was perfect. The next time, it won't have to do anything with Opal. I actually enjoy reading about her, but she can be a little bit too much...